ImperfectDad

7554 pts ยท October 4, 2013


I think the vegetables were just something plausible to put 'vinegar water' on... which is the ingredients of a douche.

10 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

He can't catch a break, getting a judge with working eyeballs and stuff.

11 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You have broken me.... all... the way down...

1 day ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Great. Now I'm hungry.

3 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I thought the same thing.

3 days ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Could also be a regular sized Ackman.

4 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

o/' "Believe it or not... George isn't at home... so leave a message after the beep..." o/'

4 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#29 When I stay up late, I don't hate myself in the morning... because I sleep right through it then hate myself in the afternoon.

5 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"What is it now?"

5 days ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

When part way through the video, you check the progress bar to see if he's going to have time to finish or the video is going to end in tragedy.

1 week ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

What do you call it when your carefully constructed string ball of organized coping calculus, rationalization lattice, and goo of emotional suppression suddenly explodes in your head and you lay in bed for the rest of the night trying to put it all back together? Which acronym is that? I just call it insomnia but that sounds boring.

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thanks!!!

1 week ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Should probably mention that I wrote it during COVID lockdown when the whole world was a giant liminal space.

1 week ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Some nice liminal spaces there. I wrote a liminal space themed song once. Let me know if you want to hear it.

1 week ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah. I love the summer. I'm a night owl and still like the extra light without the extra hassle.

1 week ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I did the shitting in a box thing here in the U.S.. That's a weird experience at every level. Then tracking your poo online to make sure it gets there. Just weird. (Way better than having a camera stuck up my butt, though.)

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Psshhh... no spread or anything. Throw some Miracle Whip on that. Mayo if you're ok with slumming.

1 week ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's going to be a great story for the story hole...

1 week ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I have a scale earth+moon+mars marble set and it's fun to quiz people about how far they think the moon marble should be from the earth marble. Sci-fi has really messed up peoples' perception of scale.

1 week ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#13 Fun fact: if you are drinking a strawberry-banana smoothy you ARE drinking a "berry smoothy" but for the opposite of the intuitive reason.

1 week ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

My "thing" is planning so many side trips "while I'm out" that I no longer want to make the quick 10 minute trip I'd originally planned.

1 week ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Only 6 more years to go.

1 week ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Hah... found a pic.

2 weeks ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This is so real. As a creative person, I remember all of the things I did to keep myself sane while playing with the kids... which definitely included trying to write/play music on their instruments. lol. Also, arched type over a wishing well made out of letter-blocks. My favorite were the elaborate lego train layouts, one we finally got to go all the way around the house loop.

2 weeks ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

It bothers me probably more than it should that "Do Not Travel" is at the wrong end of that legend's scale.

2 weeks ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

I count to five before doing two of the shortest toots that I'm capable: toot-toot
...sometimes, I use my horn, too.

2 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I think that's Erica Campbell. (Former Miss Nude World winner, if you are googling.)

2 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Usually, it's like 7AM-10AM... which for 'younger give a fuck me' was a hassle to get up, shower, get dressed, etc. to be down for breakfast while there was still food. Older "don't give a fuck me" just wakes up and goes downstairs. It makes all the difference.

2 weeks ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

#2 Quite common for me to answer "I think I have other plans." when someone wishes me a 'nice day' or 'a good weekend'.

2 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0