thehennessy3000

376 pts · May 7, 2023


Skiing is just fighting gravity on snow. Gravity wants you to go down the hill at 50 MPH, but I want to go down the hill at 10 MPH. So we compromise back and forth all the way down the slope.

3 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well it was either this or burn the whole house down.

1 day ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"I want to protect the children and the grand children." 🤡

5 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

41 days accident free. 0 days kick ass free!

5 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well if someone has to go up there to fix it they better go at night.

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Its all jingling keys.

1 week ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I would love to see more of Daisy in movies. She was fantastic in Sometimes I Think About Dying. Sadly she has mostly stopped acting for health reasons.

2 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

"I go bison fast I go bison slow...." still slaps.

2 weeks ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Do you realize what an amazing difference in profit there between 2.50 a gallon and $4.50 a gallon over 370million gallons of gas sold every day. This is not a war it is wealth redistribution.

2 weeks ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"They're lead by sick people" like pedophiles conmen and rapists?

2 weeks ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

3 weeks ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You know why there are no more unicorns? The first part of their name is "eunuch".

3 weeks ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Every football loving man has had a similar conversation with their unfootball aware wife at some point in their lives.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

It's not a war. It wealth redistribution.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And he hates the pooly educated.

1 month ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

I built a table like this before for a group of DnDers except instead of a mini replica village in the middle it was a TV screen so they could broadcast their maps.

1 month ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

MonChiChi!? 🤣now make a Shirt Tails reference!

1 month ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Maybe she part halibut

1 month ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Soy puma

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Upside: sustainability!
Down side: its cabbage

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If you've never seen a good ska band live, I highly recommend it. Pure energy. After one concert you can skip cardio for a week!

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#26. The reason there are so many references to people being squished by pianos and safes falling from buildings in old cartoons is because old apartment building were built with very small hall ways and stairwell. So the only way to get large items into rooms on the upper floors was to go up outside the building with some sort of crane or pully syatem and in through the window. However there is no record of anyone ever being squished by a falling piano in real life.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not all heros wear capes, but they do occasionally sport a man bun.

2 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's possible for wonderful human being to make bad pizza. Look at my pizza. Its absolute trash!😇

2 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

New insult unlocked: "shut up chicken pubes!"

2 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I love the part where he turned one stick in to 3!

3 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And That's how Evil Knievel was conceived

3 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1