DorkQueenOfFailedSexyTimes

2903 pts ยท December 26, 2015


You probably came here looking for a selfie, cause why else would you bother looking at someone's profile, so I'll oblige: https://imgur.com/TiLDp7p Feel free to break up the boredom of browsing User Sub and message me. Just be forewarned that I'll be great about responding back for a week or so and then I'll suddenly drop off the face of earth. Most likely it's nothing personal, I just suck at talking to people regularly.

This is how I hope my boyfriend will be when we finally get a dog. He swears he hates them after growing up breeding dogs.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Very true. My boyfriend and my best friend are extroverts and with them and the help of alcohol I can be made to actually leave the house.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I actually agree with you. Their flavored stuff is good though not my cup of coffee but I feel Seattle's Best could be better.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That last one explains why my cat Kismet rubs up against every plastic bag and pretends to chew on it.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh god! I was eating Taco Bell when I saw this. Guess I'm done eating it now...

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

And her dog, who was nursing her puppies, nipped his hand when he reached into her pen. The guy demanded her dog be put down for no sign.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If you have a dog post this sign no matter what. A co-worker had to put down her dog cause her neighbor came onto her property uninvited

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Illinois. He's just a freak and didn't have internet (just cell phone data) but to me it was mandatory.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That hat just makes me think of my boyfriend before I moved in and brought him the gift of internet.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm so happy for you OP! I know that's a difficult conversation to have with someone you care about. Hope it continues on for a long time!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Looks amazing OP! You did an amazing job and your dad looks so happy! That's very sweet of you. +1

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm a loser who usually ends up with somewhat comical fails when I do or try to do the sex times with my partner.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For the first time ever I actually got a half way decent license photo. Here's hoping when I get the colored copy it still looks as good.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Only once a week?! Oh god that would be terrible...

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I did the same thing a year ago OP. It may seem intimidating but don't worry you got this! +1 Things will get better.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I like to believe it depends on the company too. I've always been pretty chill but my ex just made me as crazy as him. It was terrible...

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's how you call a dog. I didn't appreciate it, especially in public. Would tell him to stop and he'd just do it more.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Had an ex that would whistle and snap his fingers at me. Made my blood boil every time. Quick way to piss me off.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

God that punk is so cute... Look at that smile! I'd touch his spike, if you know what I mean.

10 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 2

I homemade shirt, a new video game, a blow job, and a case of beer. For best results you use them all at once.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've done this before. Just be safe OP! Maybe contact the important people to let them know you're safe. It can be very relieving to escape.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I want a motorcycle so bad but I've never even rode one and I just know the second I sit on one it'll crash in some crazy stupid way.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And I feel really stupid and disappointed in myself for not catching on to that reference sooner...

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Yea sadly. I mean it did make more sense for him to have it cause he was more of an acholic but still I loved that thing. My uncle made it.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Sure though it won't be until late this evening for me.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yep nope. I'm too thin skinned for that. I would cry...

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Tonight I'm making us a California Roll Sushi Casserole but I must say that McDonald's looks better than any I've ever had.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I need this now. Had a shadow box made for my ex that said "Keep Calm And Have A Beer". Had it over half full bottle caps. I miss it.

10 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 2

Ditto. I really miss my anti baby meds. I hate the inconvenience of falling to the Communists every month and pausing the dirty business.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0