ThadisJones

19346 pts ยท August 7, 2024


Just FYI I tried this product and my dog ate it and exploded and when I called tech support some guy told me "it probably wasn't the food, dogs just sometimes do that, also since you're no longer a dog owner you're not eligible for a refund", so I dumped the extra food into the lake and then a bunch of fish ate it and then they also exploded

4 hours ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Far Lands terrain generation glitch

9 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That's a nice photo of a crab
Wait

10 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm, uh, not from there but I'm a fan of their soccer team

12 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Abandon all hope
Ye who enter here
And seriously, this time we really mean it

19 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My sister was like "I'm probably going to end up with A cups because that's what Mom has" and I was like have you seen the women on DAD'S side of the family because they all have BOOBS for MILES, and on HRT she definitely went a bit beyond the A.

20 hours ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

"If you're reading this, you either REALLY know what you're doing, or you're absolutely fucked"

21 hours ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 0

Welcome to The Backrooms

1 day ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

My coworker: No, a "caffeine purge" is when you DON'T drink caffeine for a week. It's not "drink coffee in place of water"!
Me: (vibrates furiously)

1 day ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

My younger brother's favorite bedtime story as a young child was Mr. BigDude, a creation of mine, who was an unbelievably huge man who engaged in wildly improbable antics in search of vast quantities of food. In my experience, as long as you get a kid actually into bed and tucked in, they'll go to sleep eventually, even if they laugh they butt off for five minutes over the adventures of a chonky guy trying to break into a movie theater to steal all their popcorn butter.

1 day ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

A few years ago I had one of my employees in my office and he was freaking out crying because he got one of those "I hacked your webcam and saw you jerking it and I'll send the video to your workplace and family" spam emails, and he thought he was going to get fired. I had to show him that I got dozens of these messages a month and that I'd deleted every single one and absolutely nothing had ever happened.

1 day ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

We call them "shadbushes"

2 days ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The hobbits did a pretty good job for a "no standing army" nation at instantly putting together an army when they felt they had someone to lead them.

3 days ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

I grew up in a non-Christian family and we didn't believe in anything like Santa Claus, but when my sister and I read these comics with our parents they led to discussions like "if you're only being good to get a reward, is that really being good" and "if you want extenuating circumstances to apply to you, you have to accept that they apply to other people as well"

5 days ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

The cops and AI have access to so much information they can correlate a facial match to a random person from a security camera half the country away with enough confidence to arrest, extradite, and hold her.

The cops and AI have access to so much information showing absolutely that it's physically impossible for this person to have been the suspect, but hey, that's not the question they're interested in asking.

5 days ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Harnessing your talents

5 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Me in the family group aggressively questioning my father about why he refers to my brother's girlfriend as his "girlfriend" but my sister's girlfriend as her "partner".

6 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

#1 Would (definitely die)

6 days ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hire a homeless looking guy to stand next to the ATM to aggressively step into people's personal space asking for money.

6 days ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

It became an isekai protagonist and is currently in school with a bunch of magic girls learning about magic and teamwork

6 days ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Just another really compelling reason to try not to do it

1 week ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

The first time I experienced a MRE, I was stunned by how much plastic waste they generate per meal. Just from a conservation standpoint I feel they're massively irresponsible ways to eat, outside of genuine necessity.

1 week ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

"All we have left is the loud evangelical Christian teachers, why are all the 13 year old girls pregnant and the boys don't want to be alone in rooms with adults any more?"

1 week ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The Internet Is For Corn

1 week ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

The whole thing minus some organs and gills that ideally the cook removes before frying it up

1 week ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

#10 Next chance I get I'm gonna tell people at work "well looks like it's raining toasters and lizards out there"

1 week ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If your cat REALLY likes licking your baby, it might be too salty, which is an indicator for cystic fibrosis and you should get your baby screened ASAP

1 week ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I showed my younger brother videos of those snakes that eat whole bird eggs, and I was like "wouldn't it be funny if we could do that", so I made some hardboiled eggs for lunch and shelled them and gave him one and told him to go for it, and then our parents were like WHAT THE HECK IS HE DOING and I was like "I have absolutely no idea, I think he just went insane"

1 week ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1