The Most Expensive Way to Fucking Die Younger
546
40
15840
Leonardo DiCaprio Has Apparently Discovered Noise-Cancelling Intimacy ??
-6
31
1592
The Lorax Tried Speaking for the Trees. They Asked If He Had a Fucking Tee Time.
68
13
1444
America Keeps Hitting “Remind Me Later” on the Fucking Civil Rights Update
346
29
10826
Minority Report, But the Precogs Are Fucking License-Plate Cameras
1021
190
30800
Flock Around and Find Out: Surveillance Company Discovers Surveillance
1993
151
35010
The United States Senate Has Stopped Responding — Would You Like to Wait?
618
95
20146
Apparently “Leave No One Behind” Has a Fucking Asterisk
38
17
1001
Houston, We Have a Fucking Applause Problem
672
91
19859
Trump Accidentally Leaks the Fucking Season Finale
478
146
8780
Apparently “Do No Harm” Needed a Fucking Reminder
9
8
1187
Trump Has Reached the “I’m Renaming Your Fucking Lake” Stage of Diplomacy
27
14
550
We Crossed 225 Million Kilometres Just to Discover the Sunsets Are Better There
294
54
10744
34
15
797
Rockstar Accidentally Became the GTA Corporation Rockstar Would Parody
415
104
13056
After an Exhaustive Review, Trump Has Determined Trump Is the Greatest Trump Ever
33
27
805
Galaxy Brain Governance: Put My Name on It or the Fucking Kennedy Center Gets It
217
22
4057
The Economy Is Doing Great If You Fucking Ignore Everyone Participating in It
34
18
589
Prosperity for All — Some Assembly Required by the Working Class
-5
10
210
AFFORDABILITY: The Pill Is $10. The Fucking Freedom Costs $990.
45
20
1025
They Found a Way to Put a Paywall on the Fucking Fire Extinguisher
66
20
1506
The Most Expensive “Should’ve Shut the Fuck Up” in American History
526
42
7401
Vote Against It. Take Credit for It. Repeat Until Someone Fucking Notices.
371
16
5506
Apparently the Placenta Drops at 8 and Your Fucking Shift Starts at 9
43
35
1389
The Arsonists Keep Fucking Winning Employee of the Month
469
81
7393
Mark Zuckerberg Discovers the Dangers of Monopoly Immediately After Losing at Fucking Monopoly
373
55
17767
Michael Cohen Discovers the Incredible Pardon-Shaped Benefits of Forgiveness
208
14
5215
He Thought It Was Just a Birthday Burger... Then Mom Changed His Whole Year
986
96
27132
The Economy Is Booming — You’re Just Standing Underneath It
51
23
1459
America Discovers the Terrifying Military Superpower 90 Miles From Florida That It’s Been Economically Strangling for 60 Years
13
9
517
NBA Owners Discover Their Fucking Moral Compass Has a Price Tag
4
7
1130
PATIENCE: Some Beers Just Need a Little More Time in the Cellar.
269
35
12475
ENLIGHTENMENT: The Final Stage of Political Thought Is Blaming Yesterday For-fucking-ever.
27
2
487
The Three Stages of a White House Press Briefing
24
4
537
The White House Spin Cycle Is Losing a Fucking Setting
110
26
704
EVOLUTION
21
11
1795
PRIORITIES: It's Amazing What You Can Afford When People Don't Count.
359
33
10585
Her Dog Refused to Leave a Stranger Alone. Turns Out He Had a Damn Good Reason.
47
22
1458
CONFIDENCE.
39
11
1047
TEAMWORK.
744
115
29931
Family Values™ — Terms and Conditions Apparently Apply
487
60
6166
America Isn’t Broke — It Just Has a Very Expensive Fucking Definition of “Priorities”
27
5
328
PURPOSE: It's Easier to Work for a Mission When the Mission Pays the Mortgage.
493
139
21637
RIGHT OF FUCKING WAY.
36
13
1242
The Arsonist Demanding FuckingFire Safety
5
5
860
ACCOUNTABILITY: It's Amazing How Long a Scapegoat Can Stay Employed.
31
8
1129
EXPECTATIONS.
43
5
1233
The Four Fucking Stages of Trump Crisis Management
437
7
5356
Apparently the White House Needed Gold More Than Sick Kids Needed Help
22
9
545
INNOVATION: Every Moral Boundary Eventually Finds a Revenue Stream.
-5
2
333
Man Discovers Disgraceful Fucking Situation Directly Beneath His Own Ass
263
30
6431
When Air Superiority Comes With a Side of Fries
12
9
441
Turns Out “Federal Agent” Isn’t a Fucking Parking Placard
49
9
1235
Kansas Woman Chose the Red Pill, Then Apparently Fucking Washed It Down With a Margarita
60
43
2810
Schrödinger’s Fucking Tough Guy: Brave Until the Door Opens
11
4
248