After dropping out of high school I joined a circus and obtained employment feeding non-essential parts of my body to animals in a fifty cent side show. Billed as 'Kalvin Kan, The Amazing Anthropocentric Organ Grinder', I prospered there until the show went bankrupt due to lagging interest and several climacteric legal proceedings. Insolvent and without any real prospects, I sold plasma, which provided me with enough money to survive. And although it wasn't actually my own plasma, it eventually allowed me to save enough money to invest in a famous nation-wide chain of drive-thru liquor and gun shops. Although my 'Speedy Bullets And Bourbon' franchise did provide me with a tidy revenue, the combination of driving, firearms and drunkenness were inexplicably becoming 'politically incorrect', so I wisely sold my share in the enterprise to The Branch Davidians. It was then that I developed an interest in religious profiteering, so I invested my capital into a remunerative ideology and created 'The Church Of The Benign Idea', a quasi-religious organization which espoused the ideals of meddlesome indoctrination and ungoverned venality. As ticket boy and minister of propaganda, I was free to further my individual conception of moralistic reality, while at the same time reaping the benefits of an opportune non-taxable income. However, due to an embarrassing sexual tryst I had with an entire Tupperware party in 1990, I was compelled to resign my position by my congregation due to what were described as 'moral anachronisms'. It was at that point in my life that I was forced to find employment in a field with absolutely no moral center or ethical code. So, I considered either turning to the talk-show circuit, prostitution, or becoming an attorney. Then, in a bold notion, I had the inspiration to combine these professions, but the pilot for 'Law and Order: Judicial Pimp-izle' just raised too many eyebrows in the heart of white-bread America. Scandalized, financially exasperated and politically destitute, I went utterly insane and moved back to my home town of Pittsfield, Massachusetts, where my previous experience with bodily fluids and Tupperware helped me to obtain a position as tour guide at the Berkshire Museum's Ancient Egyptian Plastic Canoptic Jar display, where I am employed to this day. Come down and see me anytime!
what an asshole
In 2000, a herpetologist, Steven Platt, visited Ramree Island, where he interviewed residents who had been alive during the war and who had been forced into slave labor by the Japanese; they "unanimously discounted any suggestion that large numbers of Japanese fell prey to crocodiles". "[t]he only crocodile-related deaths occurred when 10 to 15 soldiers were killed trying to ford Min Chaung, a tidal creek"
You've got my vote. I refuse to float around like some woke anti-gravity liberal.
“Accidentally”
HAIL HAIL HAILSTONE- WAAHOO
I doubt that. Oh sorry, hand, I thought you said 'ass'
Are you waiting to receive my limp penis? How dare ... get your hands off me