brettdruck
121304
16191
206
Chivalry
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/BrettDruck Fb: http://www.facebook.com/BrettDruckComedy Source video: http://youtu.be/lNAtqqb0ZAo
Jul 22, 2014 1:34 PM
brettdruck
121304
16191
206
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/BrettDruck Fb: http://www.facebook.com/BrettDruckComedy Source video: http://youtu.be/lNAtqqb0ZAo
thisgoesto11
I try and hold the door open for anyone, regardless of gender. Solves the problem for me.
IhateHumansAnimalsAndPlantsBOULDERSAreOk
*tips pot helm*
Abominor
Lifting one's visor was a kind of knightly salute (and I guess the closest thing to tipping). Although pot helms are visorless...
SpaztasticTheDiabolical
*throws gauntlet*
Romaniak
*lands sights on contender, expeditiously dismisses said fellow by way of a vigorous bash with heraldic shield*
Moogin
M'Lady
cdizzletswizzle
"M'damsel"
[deleted]
[deleted]
jsd3306
That should have been "sigh... *opens codpiece*"
R3n3gadeGh0st
*shakes hand*
the9man
On second thought let's not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place.
ialwaysdownvotesobstories
It's only a model.
BaldEagleBeater666
No. You don't copy other comments.
ihaveacrayoninmybrain
It's only a model
Jakonater
Shhh!
WonderBoyLuffy
Always up vote Monty python reference.
the9man
Silly English K-night!
iamgrr
I usually close and hold the door so people can't get in.
jabantik
I demand a trial by combat
Robopengy
Knights weren't very chivalrous, no reason I should be! But seriously duders, be cool to each other.
IrrelevantGIF
Tomkatt
I was wondering what this had to do with the post then i saw your username... don't even care +1
CanonInTheStreetsFanonInTheSheets
Wait, a puppy has nothing to do with chiva- oh, IrrelevantGIF! You bastard...
HitoshiFromTheLandoftheCherryBlossoms
I needed this in my life. Thanks.
Cecemi10
I CAN HEAR IT
Pineapplelover
I think this is relevant, it's me trying to decide which panel to read next.
Barkinsons
SO MANY HEAD TILTS
StrideWideMan
Irrelevant but glorious.
TastyBrainMeats
EEEEWANNA PET THEM
BubbleGutandtheHotSnakes
You get me every single time. +1...ya bastard.
iprettymuchonlycommentwithgifs
+1 living up to your username
athenabelina
+1 for your comment that explained why gif was irrelevant
Solonariwan
I was just sitting there thinking to myself about the relevance, my brain came up with bupkiss and then I saw these comments. All is clear!
DevilsHalo
Up the tree votes for you all because of how freakin lost I was!!
BlizzardLeopard
I don't know why I always upvote you but I do.
SioulSeRef
He's just like IrrelevantButFactuallyAccurate, an imgurian we need, but not one we deserve. (or is it the other way around?)
Foobermaximus
I wonder if in japan they say bushido is dead when men don't kill themselves after making mistakes?
Therm
Pop culture chivalry was invented during the renaissance. This guy has it right.
Iceindra
I don't hold the door for people, because of chivalry, it's just good manners. I don't care if you're male or female.
MJTaylor13
Chivalry and good manners are synonymous. You just hadn't learned the word yet. :)
SeanVsInternet
One of the codes is "to accept any challenge from an equal" .....so he actually treated this lady as an equal. Pretty cool!
MakingUpAUsernameIsTerrifying
He was joust kidding.
DeepMediMusik
This would be a great Dwight Shrute rant
IloveSwordsTheyAreShiny
I just wrote my dissertation on chivalry; I wish I had this quote to use
BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear
I'll take a lost of events that didn't actually happen for 100 Alex. . . He doesn't even have two coconuts to clap together.
broyant
Did you shout FOR AGATHA?
Abominor
Together, for the light, brother!
OddlyCantEven
I don't mind being polite, but also can't stand snooty people who expect to be treated special by everyone else.
Pretention
I can't stand when everyone doesn't treat everyone else special
SpaztasticTheDiabolical
(something something damn millennials grumble)
melodramaticbat
Yeah. Dunno if this is an unpopular opinion puffin, but I think people should aim to be polite themselves without expecting it from others.
nodisco
Yep. It is discouraging though that the term "random act of kindness" is often attributed to what used to be common courtesy.
NoOneGivesaHootAboutFAUXASSNonsense
It's best to assume everyone is a snooty asshole before you get to know them, you know, just to be safe
OddlyCantEven
I'm mainly talking about people I have been courteous to, then feel like an ass because of how they act afterwards.
NoDirectionHome
wanting special treatment for being a woman is the opposite of equality. But otherwise, it's just being polite
squareshield
Well maybe she is attractive and is used to guys treating her like a queen.
cheebody
Y'all don't know about my snowflake status!
tupacshomie
I hold the door if you're close. If you're far enough away that the door is gonna close if I let it go, you're on your own.
SoOddICantEven
But then you miss out on making them run or walk faster so they don't feel like they inconvenienced you for holding the door for them.
samthemflamb
but it makes your day so much better when they wait and hold it for you! I always give a big smile and a thank you.
IbukiOnTheScene
No way, it makes me feel awkward like I have to run to the door to avoid being an ass. I'd rather just open the door myself
samthemflamb
I didn't mean I just stood by the door till they got there. I mean if I'm walking up and I'm not that close, but they still wait and hold it
DaltonThePolarDogManBear
Do they have pipes and captain hats? "Jolly good, Edmund; would you kindly fetch me the bourbon?"
OddlyCantEven
LOL. Best to just slap the monocle out of his eye before he gets too British.
DaltonThePolarDogManBear
I was raised by wolves. I take the monocle, break it and fashion crude, rusty dueling toothpicks.
shapalapa
I try to be polite to everyone... I mean, I'm a girl and hold the door open for the person behind me, whether it's a man or a woman.
BigFatFailureTurtle
Works to an extent. If someone holds the door for you, it's then on you to hold it for the next person. Don't leave someone stuck there!
EVIIIIL
It annoys the crap out of me when I've already held the door open but he refuses to go through. Efficiency trumps chivalry imo
agreyworld
People do that? I've never noticed door holding to have a gender connotation here in the UK
KindaHotInTheseRhinos
I work at a Yacht Club. I feel you so hard.
moreoats
I used to work at a Yacht Club. I feel you too.
LopsidedStapler
I bet you do.
JamesBluntThatSmartassCunt
There it is.
Chronomechanist
Funny, I thought it would be masseurs who felt people so hard, the most often.
BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear
I work for a custom home decorating corporate. One more rich person tantrum, and I'll hang myself from a continuous cord.
RougemageNick
You can always hang them, if you got a gun
DidItForScience
5 minutes later... RIP BumbleBeeBeardedGingerBear.
PeanutButterBeggar
AAGATHAAAAAAAAAA!
Abominor
Send them to join their families... IN DEEAAAATH!
deftly
I like to run in front of people approaching automatic doors and shout, "Let me get that for you!" I'm a stupid asshole.
lovehands
I was the first one ever to do this.
SmashItApartAndLickTheSides
Pics or it didn't happen.
lovehands
We didn't have camera phones. Pa was the only one to control the family camera. It was only used on vacations and at family get togethers.
SmashItApartAndLickTheSides
Tell them all I said hello!
Flogglemoo
I got to do that at work.
FartedWhileMakingUpName
In that case, holding the door for them would mean just standing there motionless. Must try this....
PoopyFaceMcBadPants
i like you
ForTheUPVOTE
I like your username
JamesHalpert
I do that too in a very exaggerated manner! You're not a stupid asshole. We're both just average assholes.
Jonmbram
You've inspired me to say thank you to people who are ahead of me passing through an automatic door as though they held it open.
DDPB9k5G
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpRO39X1rTk
bexhope
People like you make me laugh, so thanks for that.
Jerenemy
Correction, you're an ingenious stupid asshole.
Nerdygasm
I had an adorable old man do that for me just a week ago. Made my day.
SomePeopleSayThatCucumbersTasteBetterPickled
I do that too, and then add an exaggerated flourish as if using the Force.
nivekyrrep
ME TOO! I thought I was the only one.
Jiryn
I just Jedi or Magneto wave my hand in front of automatic doors, yep I'm full retard.
TheLodown
ha i did that for my wife just the other day, she did not appreciate it
biggysm4lls
I like to run in front of people approaching normal doors and just click the disabled button... I'm the asshole
Kpizza96
I did that for a cat once, at my school we had a cat and it wanted to go outside but the automatic doors wouldn't open for it
mrbadxampl
I awkwardly held the men's bathroom door for a woman at work... guess I need a new job now...
IAlwaysUpvoteAnnaKendrick
is your name, by chance, michael cera?
SIduck
Next try it with a revolving door.
marximusprime
I just like being a Jedi.
pookiesexbomb
That actually kind of nice, automatic doors never open until the last fucking second for me :(
DrWolvesbane
I've had automatic doors open for everyone but me.... like what the actual fuck. I get there, nothing. Someone else, it opens
rlegolas
That reminds me of
DrWolvesbane
Haha that's perfect
Mendacium
That's because the sensors aren't made for detecting angels.
FearlessFapper
A valiant attempt, good sir
EightYearOldsDude
I always feel like a badass fast walking out of a store and the automatic doors open just on time
PooPooInSpaghettiEveryoneUpsetti
MRW
EightYearOldsDude
But if the doors don't open fast enough and slow my pace I have to look like I don't have time to be annoyed
DougDimmadomeOwnerOfTheDimsdaleDimmadome
It makes me feel like a Jedi
adeciduoustree
Use the force...
hokieface
iii would propose on the spot if this were ever to happen to me
deftly
That'd be a better reaction than blank stares, which is what I usually get. Want to get married?
hokieface
DAMNIT, I SAID I WOULD PROPOSE!! Send the mariachi band home. Fire the sky-writer. Deftly dropped a knee first and now my plans are ruined:(
deftly
Hey, hey, I was just asking if you wanted to. You can still pop the question. I'm easy to work with.
hokieface
Iiiii suppose. But you better still act surprised!
latetothepunchline
Take out that second quotation mark and it's more funny.
SmashItApartAndLickTheSides
lol. You are correct. I laughed.
FuzzyMonkeys
I've always wanted to do this but the timing is just never right
lovemesomesauce
i'm not alone!!!
Drinkingabeer
Yes, that would technically be being "courtly" or "courtesy"
ShortGiant
Good at jousting? Must be from Maryland!
anotherrelevantusername
Or Liechtenstein...
ShortGiant
(jousting is one of the state sports of Maryland)
cspinasdf
It did indeed in the long, long ago of 1962. It was a time where there was only 1 walmart, and Marylin Monroe stopped making bad quotes(dead
CaptainHaddocksFavoriteWhiskey
LIAR. Marilyn Monroe makes shitty quotes even after death. As proof, I submit tumblr
Hellokitty85
We do have the best Renaissance fair ever it is like three months long I know this because I just moved to MD and I'm spending my bday there
ShortGiant
Have fun! It's a great place! I go there every couple years :)
Hellokitty85
Oh I will! I moved from OK and their ren fair is only a week long so I never went, but I'm super stoked for this one.
andyonetime
Wwwuuurrddd up. Maryland represent!
watchitwork
Maryland born and raised! Woo!
WhippedVoltage
Your arms broken, bitch?
guywithtenbikes
Good thing we got a frame with every one of his bicep poses.
Tzaot
"Why excuuuuse me princess"
YouGotJammed
EVERYONE SHOULD BE KIND TO EVERYONE. Bam. Chivalry.
pancreas
...you didn't read the image, did you?
toneman238
CountVorkosigan
Everyone should kill everyone else and take their stuff. Bam. Barbarism.
digitalon
Or my favorite phrase: Don't be a dick!
RedasRain
STOP OPPRESSING ME!!!
MJTaylor13
Bingo! to the OP.
primorph
Except the peasants. Chivalry.
YouGotJammed
Filthy peasants.
StonedPancake
dude i have tears streaming down my face +1
nottheAdmiralAhkbar
Everyone should be COURTEUS to everyone. That's more like it.
backtobackpanicattack
*courteous. That's more like it.
nottheAdmiralAhkbar
thanks for correcting :D
LennyKoggins
Everyone should be EXCELLENT to everyone. That's more more like it.
OhNoNotThatGuyQuickEverybodyHide
Everyone should be SUSPICIOUS of everyone. They could be the next patient zero.
Killhappy
Bill and Ted! You get +1
pachinkoduel
I prefer shovelry
IncredibleNurse
0 points?I will be your champion
Cassiraa
What are the chivalry rules for being somebody's champion?
scruffynerdherder
0 points?I will be your champion
Sonflash
I joust love this joke!
cspinasdf
I enjoyed your pun. I'd say it was punny.
exarkoontz
HAVE AT THEE!
krallisawesome
Good one! I'll have to remember that for knecht time.
skallik
#LandsknechteSwag #RekkinSwedes #MakingBankLikeaDoppelsöldner
LeorKing
Get out.
FaptainKirk
Her and comedy both.
cspinasdf
But...I thought it was funny.(how do you do the small text so it looks like I'm whispering?)
OneMoreLagerAndIMightLearnToLikeYa
But the burn is alive, my friend. The burn is alive and well. +1
LiquidPoo
Wicked burn bro!
DoctorJungyBrongen
Watch Nathan For You tonight on comedy central at 10:30 and you will realize how wrong you are.
PartyMagician
— Your friendly neighborhood Viacom shill. (have nothing against CC or you, but you just sound very advertise-y)
TheBrightKday
I too graduated from Canada ' s top business school with really good grades.
strongfkennedy
I don't like a joke so comedy is dead!
Denvercoder09
I just think Tobey Maguire shouldn't do stand up...
akom
Enough people thought this was funny to get it to the front page of Imgur. It's like people have different senses of humor or something.
idrinkcheapbeer
*enough reddit people. This would never make it out of usersub.
ImJustHereSoIDontGetFined
I love that there's an elitism over which time wasting web site you're a part of.
LawlessWalrus
So the crowds are a bit different, but a lot of Reddit people still needed to think it was funny for it to get here.
verbalhermanmunster
OP is in the thread... doesn't that mean he submitted it here? If not I'm confused.
brettdruck
Everybody listen to this guy, he mixed together fap(a word for masturbation) with the most poplular Star Trek captain(Kirk) HE KNOWS COMEDY!
FaptainKirk
I do find your defensiveness pretty hilarious.
verbalhermanmunster
He responded to your insult by returning the favour, what an idiot right?
FaptainKirk
Anyways, sorry to have offended you. I respect what you do. But I come here to make jokes. I like this one
demut
Hahaha, “sorry to have offended you”? You sure are one big, flappy pussy. I guess those 8 downvotes really changed your mind.
FaptainKirk
My mind isn't changed. I can make a quip and dislike a comedian's joke without wanting him to be butthurt.
demut
Him being butthurt is his problem, not yours. Unless you make it so ...
bob3rt
I don't know why you're apologizing. It's called constructive criticism. Just wait til an audience member rustles his jimmies.
verbalhermanmunster
I'm not sure you know what "constructive" criticism means. He was heckled and he responded in kind, pretty standard comedian stuff imo
Veit
Fun fact: many feminists hate "chivalry" because it puts women on a pedestal to be protected by men, which is bad for both genders.
[deleted]
[deleted]
witchzenka
You did not understand and don't know the difference between courtesy and chivalry. Courtesy is for everyone. chivalry can die.
NOTAlexJones
No way, we need battle etiquette!
astamurti
In most cases, "chivalry" is slang for "being nice to people you'd like to fuck".
SpaztasticTheDiabolical
Well... why WOULDN'T you be nice to people you'd like to fuck?
astamurti
that'smyfetish.tga
NerdN1
I hold the door open for most people, but I admit I will generally wait at a door significantly longer for women than men.
copingcabana
That fact isn't fun at all. I want my money back.
Bent0916
Fun fact: You could change "feminists" to "people" and "hate" to "mildly dislike" and be much more accurate.
BadWolf1963
Lets play find the feminist...
StabbyAlligator
I hate it when I get the feeling someone is treating me differently for being a girl. But still, benefit of the doubt!
irishnovember
Not if you wanna look up her dress.
sometimesifightseagulsandtheywin
That makes sense, a pedestal is the worst place to be during a joust. You're basically a sitting duck up there.
imgursresidentasshole
I call it being nice, as I hold open the door for anyone. I am online an asshole on the internet.
SpaztasticTheDiabolical
"Here, lemme hold that hyperlink for you."
imgursresidentasshole
I also can't english good when I am online on the internet
pookiesexbomb
I'm perfectly happy being on that pedestal.
[deleted]
[deleted]
cambriansea
The way most mean it, chivalry is not about respecting women, nor treating them as humans & equals. It's a form of well-intentioned sexism.
demut
That or it degrades women because by acting so men proclaim them in need of help and special treatment *cue the “it was my privilege” jokes*
KidneyBeene
I hold the door for women, I hand the door to men. It was the way I was raised and my father was a better man than any feminist I ever met.
disruptedvice
I think you misunderstand the meaning of the word 'fun'.
azurepenguin
Fun fact: chivalry dictates how to treat both women and men. Fun fact: what if we treat every one nice and the one we sleep with even nicer?
vxjedi
How about we all just be nice to each other? A man courting or being nice to a woman shouldn't be put down but rather it should (1)
anu49
i believe this to be the (normal) feminist's ideal.
vxjedi
Agreed, which is why I am feminist. But somewhere along the lines, the word feminist became an insult and something you wouldn't want to be.
vxjedi
(2) women to do the same. My GF takes me out and pays for me sometimes because she wants to treat me, I have no arguments against it.
flyingcanoe
I once held the door for a girl and was told "I'M NOT DISABLED YOU KNOW". In the head you are...
[deleted]
[deleted]
Veit
Not at all! Just try to be a nice person for the sake of being nice, not because women need protecting or because men need to be strong.
yarir
Veit, you seem really like a good guy (you said a nice thing), so how can you not see the reason why "chivalry" is something bad?
harryjlk
Or you could, you know, be nice to everyone.
PartyPantsDotJpeg
I second that! No need to overanalyze everything.
rawradinosaur
...I like it
aslightlymoreoriginalusername
That IS fun, thanks!
LordTyranius
What a random thing to say
Dispari
Personally, I just hold the door for everyone, and thank anyone who does it for me.
Lefthandofgod
The same women also act horrified when you suggest splitting the bill after a particularly expensive dinner. *trolls away into darkness*
PamBeesly
Nah.
FlatusIgnition
Would you say that most women are feminists? Or do most women prefer to be coddled/protected by their gender opposites?
Veit
I think that's too broad a statement to be able to say about "most women" at all. Every woman has her own ideas, wants and needs.
FlatusIgnition
Correction: many*
FlatusIgnition
Agreed - but you also stated "most" feminists, which is also just as broad.
smashadages
Feminists are a group of people who share some beliefs. Women don't share anything except biology. Harder to classify them.
Veit
I didn't have enough characters to say "the majority of feminists who identify their feminist affiliation as 3rd wave believe..."
FlatusIgnition
I apologize that I'm unaware of the different classes of feminism, but just like any group, there will be differences between them.
WickedSpacePanda
I do that for older people, and friends/family. Fuck the rest.
ColonelObvious
Yes, those are the people you should not fuck, but the rest. Of people.
vipe650r
Chivalry has nothing to do with ability, but instead with honor. An elder, a woman, or a person of high station, to hold a door is honor.
Veit
The fact that it's an honor for specifically a man to do something specifically for a woman is super shitty for a lot of reasons.
vipe650r
Honor often shows up in doing a menial task for another person - putting yourself beneath the other person for a simple action.
Veit
Sure! Which is why it's great to do things for others. A system of honor that reinforces sexist gender roles, on the other hand...
vipe650r
Sorry, I'm still going to open doors, then go on to lead side by side with strong women in my life without a moment's hypocrisy or conflict.
fiftypatoots
*most
pupsyluv
can't put the pussy on a pedestal
HappyMadison
There's just no winning with them feminist nazis
Veit
I have to invoke Poe's Law here; I have absolutely no idea if you're being satirical or serious.
HappyMadison
MagnusBjarni
I seriously hope that duels become normal again. Then I can challenge people into a duel, either men or women.
pupsyluv
can't put the pussy on a pedestal
AwkwardOstrichGirl
I only hate it when I hold the door for a guy and they reach around me to RE-HOLD the door open for me. Is that REALLY necessary?
jwsmythe
What good is it if she can't hold a sword and fight in combat beside you?
Kopar
1) The feminist movement is a battle for the soul of what it means and doesn't mean to be a woman. Some battles are easier and more logical
Kopar
2) like equal pay. Not easily corrected but obviously unfair. While other battles are much more difficult. Some women only want the glaring
Kopar
6) but on a structural level (how it should be for all women).
Kopar
5) feminine. It's not so simple as mens rights vs womens rights. It's womens wants vs womens wants, not only on a personal level (to choose)
Kopar
4) start for a more enlightened species. Some women love the idea behind chivalry, others despise it. This is a battle for the soul of the
Kopar
3) imbalances corrected while keeping much of the rest of the existing social structure intact. Others want a complete overhaul, a fresh
HarmlessDickbutt
I agree. I'd rather duel.
Devilsclarinet
funny all the feminists I know love it because it puts them on a pedestal and therefore to be protected by men
smashadages
Either you or they don't know what a feminist is.
yarir
You don't know feminists, then.
buttobviousfacts
Fun fact : we don't give a shit about what feminists think.
smashadages
Yeah, equality for women would suck wouldn't it?
buttobviousfacts
Yeah, it would suck for women if there was real equality in custody battles or if they had to pay alimony, or get drafted in the army. True.
MyFavouriteColourIsBlue
Men are in charge of the army and are the reason women aren't drafted, so don't try to blame us for that.
buttobviousfacts
Yeah? so show me one Feminist organization that is fighting for their right to be in the army? Is there? ha? whatzzat? yup, run to Tumblr.
supremacysun
There is equality in custody battles. Men don't get custody because they don't ask for it.
smashadages
Lols. You sound like a friend of mine (still my friend but he's grown up since then) who once argued that men had it harder bc 1/2
smashadages
they are judged more severely in domestic violence cases. 2/2
iamnotcontent
Everybody should be put on a pedestal and treated like they are special, to at least someone, sometime.
Veit
But we should not teach men that all women should be treated differently simply by virtue of their being a woman.
IMadeAnAccountJustToWriteThis
Chivalry also puts poor people on a pedestal to be protected by men, which is bad for poor people and men. Oh wait, that's total bullshit.
Veit
What? Chivalry in this context has nothing to do with poor people. It's the idea that men should go out of their way to treat women special.
IMadeAnAccountJustToWriteThis
Yes, and chivalry ALSO encompasses the idea that men should go out of their way to treat poor people specially. Treatment of women, like the
Veit
Not in this context. OP's image points out that this context is limiting, and I'm expanding on why it's not useful.
IMadeAnAccountJustToWriteThis
I'm honestly not sure what you're trying to say. When you only focus on one part of chivarly, you wind up with a warped perception of it.
IMadeAnAccountJustToWriteThis
OP's image points out, is only a small part of what chivalry means.
habi816
Southern male here; I was taught to be "chivalrous" to women in order to show respect for the sacrifice, pain, and labor that the woman (1/2
Esplody
Fellow Southern male...I wasn't taught all that. It was "Hold the door, boy. We raised you to be polite."
habi816
has/will go through when they become a mother and as a male there was nothing I could ever do to ever amount to that sacrifice. (2/2)
supremacysun
Southern male here, you're full of crap.
strongfkennedy
Yeah. I hate the idea that opening a car door for a woman is gentlemanly. She knows how to do it, I guarantee you.
reverseblumpkin
I open car doors because if a woman gets an expensive pedicure, then the least I can do is make sure her nails don't get damaged.
reverseblumpkin
I don't have to worry about my nails breaking in a car door handle.
strongfkennedy
:P Do you know many women who open car doors with their feet?
PrincessRufflebutt
I agree. Then again if someone DOES open a door or pull out a chair to be polite, I don't really get offended either.
ColonelObvious
Oh stop it with your common sense. Can't you just be a normal woman and be irrationally offended and leave us guessing what you want?
Veit
Oh, 100%. It all comes down to the most basic rule of human interaction: don't be shitty.
witchzenka
nah, courtesy is wonderful. I always appreciate it. chivalry doesn't give me any happiness though.
flapperfemmefatale
It depends. I've been out with my boyfriend and had people hold the door for me, but not him. Those people are assholes
VulpisFoxfire
More accurately, the 'chivalry' involved projects the image that women are too weak to do it themselves. Me, I open doors for both genders.
lahwran
I like implying that everyone but me are too weak to do it themselves. (I don't actually, I just like claiming that I do)
JamesBluntThatSmartassCunt
I don't open doors for anybody. You have hands and arms, do it yourself.
DDPB9k5G
Where did this idea come from? Was it ever true that women were too weak to open doors for themselves? Ever?
BeetlejuiceBreaksIn
That's why I don't hold in my farts around women.
InaccurateGrammarCorrections
*Thats...its not possessive in this situation
BeetlejuiceBreaksIn
I was going to say something, then noticed your username. I like it.
Veit
I hold my farts around women and men equally, but that's due to the fun combination of crippling social anxiety and what some call "stank."
BeetlejuiceBreaksIn
That's why I prefer the Cropdust Method.
Abso
Have you ever made two people believe it was the other person?
BeetlejuiceBreaksIn
Probably. I do it all the time so it has to have happened at least once. At a Chuck E Cheese I made a mom think a kid shit itself.
relevenceisinthemindofthebeholder
you are the future
hencethequeef
You're saving lives, sir. http://metro.co.uk/2014/07/13/smelling-farts-is-good-for-you-and-this-is-how-weve-reacted-to-the-news-4796649/
BeetlejuiceBreaksIn
Oh good. Now when I hold children down to fart on them, I can tell off their parents by saying it's for their health.
AlienFromJupitersMoonGanymede
On behalf of all women, thank you...?
BeetlejuiceBreaksIn
You're welcome...?
geeenuhh
thank you. farts are too funny to be kept in.
BeetlejuiceBreaksIn
Agreed. People who say they don't think farts are funny are lying.
HappierThanASlinkyOnAnEscalator
as a woman, i promise I won't be offended or feel oppressed if you hold it in around me
BeetlejuiceBreaksIn
I'll do my best, but no promises.
noonerspisms
As a woman, that's why I openly fart around everyone. EQUALITY.
BeetlejuiceBreaksIn
WOOO EQUALITY!!! *farts along to hamburger music*
noonerspisms
Nah, I'm just kidding. I just really love farting and am proud of mine. I've made guys gag from it haha
ColonelObvious
You're quite the lady, aren't you
noonerspisms
Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't enjoy my farts, jfc
zezzene
See: "Benevolent Sexism". I hardly think it is as bad as hostile sexism, but it does reinforce gender differentiation and paternalism.
LiterallyYourMom
There's Benevolent Racism too, like Asians being great at math and if you're black you're automatically a great athlete.
yarir
Thank you, but 99% imgurian is not interested in learning. But I know you said something true.
Pomirum
Self-righteousness and generalisations are all sorts of classy, aren't they?
Pomirum
I seem to have offended the 1%. Dear God, what have I done?
ColonelObvious
Sexy in a hostile way is my fetish
CliftonSantiago
Gender differentiation is a bad thing? I never hear about this stuff outside imgur so I'm lost.
UserSubmariner
The two real genders are very different, and should be considered so. Yes I'm a proud caveman. Q
UserSubmariner
No need to upset the natural order of things, that's when everything goes to hell.
supremacysun
Says the guy with his naturally-occurring computer...
zezzene
I read articles that my gf and sister send me. Ggender differentiation is one of the tenants of sexism, treating genders differently.
jexsam
But... but they are different. Neither better or worse than the other, obviously, but undeniably different.
zezzene
Personally, I agree with you. Hormone levels =/=, genitals =/=, chromosomes =/=. Problem is societal structures that negatively affect them.
CliftonSantiago
This is new to me, I'll ponder it. Thanks for the explanation.
bonjbop
I think you should either hold the door open for everyone or for no one. If someone holds it open for you say thanks, it's a nice thing.
azurepenguin
I hold door to everyone but cats. They just keep staring at you making you look stupid.
cmc8290
I'm a female but if someone is behind me, I will hold the door open for them... so its not really chivalry, its just not being a douche
Grooseland
smile and say thank you, which is nicer. 2/2
cocacolapolarbearsaretheshit
This comment reminded me of when I was going through "discrimination training" for my job (it was required) and basically it said that you 1
cocacolapolarbearsaretheshit
2 could be an asshole to everyone and not get in trouble, but you could get in huge trouble for just being an asshole to a few people.
Chixiepixie
That's not chivalry. That's manners
Grooseland
When I hold doors open for guys my age or younger they take it as some personal affront and won't cross until I have. Older gentlemen 1/
mremaknu
Held a door for an old guy once. I'm not sure what baffled the dude more, that I was a teen or that I was a chick, but he was baffled.
mremaknu
Baffle. Baffle baffle baffle. ... It's a fun word.
ILostIt
i was walking into the gym the other day and a woman held the door open at that awkward distance where she waited and i had to hustle -_-
DDPB9k5G
http://youtu.be/QpRO39X1rTk?t=13s
ReptilianOverlord
I hold the door for people who are especially far away and make them run to get it. I'm an asshole.
ColonelObvious
You should add a murderous stare. And growl until they get to the door
trajan62
I try to always thank them because its the one thing I find people take for granted, but it pisses them off when it doesn't happen.
Veit
Exactly! Do your best to be a good person to other people; not to specifically one gender. That's shitty.
ColonelObvious
I think that would be sensible equality
plainoldfool
I hold the door for someone if I know them (and know them pretty well... friends, family, colleagues) regardless of gender. If I don't (1)
plainoldfool
know you, I won't hold the door open, but I will do that "pass the door I already entered to you so you don't have to open it" move (2)
plainoldfool
** if appropriately spaced. I ain't going to sit there forever.
EGOT
No, you should hold the door open for everyone unless you're a shitbag.
Jalase
Then there's me, who takes that to 11 and holds the door for so long my parents just leave without me. Not kidding either, it happened.
Psychethos
I'm a woman and I will always hold the door open if there is someone coming in behind me, because I'm not an ill-mannered jerk.
ColonelObvious
The amount of pun opportunities here leaves me confused, so I'll just leave.
ColonelObvious
Actually no. Psychethos is clearle gf material.
Psychethos
Hah, hadn't realized that.
dangerousDoc
I never really saw the door opening thing as a woman thing but rather a gentlemanly thing. You open the door for someone to show respect.
azurepenguin
Good for you, my fellow gentleman. The peasants seem to forget a true gentleman, is respectful to everyone, lady or a fellow man.
plainoldfool
I hate the "two proper gentlemen" scenario, though. "After you... No, please, after you... No, I insist, please after you."
nofate65
Yeah, but if they were both truly "proper gentlemen" one of them would make a decision and open or walk thru the door instead of bickering.
lahwran
"shall we dance?"
azurepenguin
I do it all the time with my mates just for the laughs. Also that's stupid.
dangerousDoc
My response to that was always walk in and hold the door open from the inside.
azurepenguin
take that!! no seriously very kind and practical
plainoldfool
in reality, if it's just me and one friend, we do that alternate door thing. One holds one, the other holds the other.
ChchchChipandDale
I'm a woman and I hold the door open for people all the time and would never ASSume someone has to do that for me because I have a vagina
EllaWells
Absolutely agree--I do too. Also, great username :D
EGOT
I assume everyone should hold the door open for me because I hold the door open for everyone who is within a reasonable distance behind me.
ChchchChipandDale
I always hate when I misjudge the distance and people do that half jog-walk to get to the door I'm holding open. And vide versa. So awkward
ChchchChipandDale
Vice. Damn
Luprand
You know what happens when you make an assumption. You make an ass out of u and mption.
saywhatiwant
I am a woman too who always holds the door open for everyone, I don't always expect random people to hold the door for me, but on a date I'd
saywhatiwant
like the man to hold open doors and pull out chairs for me
DC1123
I feel the same. Sometimes when I hold the door open for older men it really bothers them, sometimes they refuse to go through the door.
lahwran
those caps cannot have been a typo.
terbril
You assUME correctly.
saywhatiwant
ume means ocean in Japanese....