rahbben
48289
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Apr 22, 2024 2:04 AM
rahbben
48289
1606
9
artie500
In a more serious vein, though, I wonder if a person wearing high top sneakers with long laces, with two or three Bic Stick pens in their pocket will be recognized as an armed camp?
softsuit
Your FEMA dollars hard at work. cricket 🦗
ablamboo2
TSA perfectly encapsulates what's wrong with America: A country full of dipshits who, given the slightest bit of authority, behave like Nazis.
duktayp
mikeatike
/gallery/BrOTd
OddSoull
I was in Rome this year ans I was confused why I didn't have to take my belt ans shoes off
Folsee
I've dealt with TSA once. Put in a tiny room and repeatedly asked why I'm in the USA. I was visiting a friend who happened to be female. They refused to believe that I could visit and stay with a female I wasn't dating. It was made worse since I didn't have her number and communicated over Facebook primarily due to international phone charges. 4 hours in that room.
jtxyz
When I was about 4 years old, airport security wouldn't let me take a "gun" on the plane with me. It was an obvious flashlight (it lit up when you pulled the trigger) and it was so obviously fake it would've been scoffed at in the cheapest sci Fi movie ever. It was absurd.
My grandmother wasn't flying with us, and she later went back and dug it out of the trash and mailed it to me.
So, it's always been stupid bullshit.
StarBug
Kid is obviously a terrorist and the 8 ball is a bomb. Obviously.
williamvanauger
Everything about the American airport security process is about protecting planes and not people. They just make shit up as they go.
maeta
It's just all security theater. Only real as far as the absolute hassle they create.
williamvanauger
Should be some sort of mathematical law. The amount of safety you feel is directly proportional to the amount of ballache you experience.
AtomicOx
Houston Bush TSA had a receding hairline mullet guy dig his knuckles into my sausage and taters deeper than any masseuse ever has been paid to dig.
SleepyHollowAppleTree
Eblray
Filanwizard
I still have to ask, are liquid explosives even real or do people just think that because of the third Die Hard movie.
artie500
After 9-11, they confiscated my sister's tweezers. My daughter's comment was "Were they afraid she'd annoy someone to death?"
cyounghmfce
Grenateh
Last time I was visiting family in Lebanon, they had the hilarious idea to gift me this cologne that’s packaged like a frag grenade complete in a wooden box a frag nade would come in.
Athens international airport loved the shit out of that. 8 hours we were there.
They also completely fucked it up so it wouldn’t spray anymore when I got home.
I was fucking 14. Lots of 14 year olds bringing grenades on planes to attack their own country I bet.
Grenateh
Also this was before 9/11
gtollie
TSA: Is there more than 3.1 ounces of fluid in there??
I don’t know, let’s ask it .. ( starts shaking magic 8 ball )
mickeygtiger
Not if you freeze it first
Sechran
*Google* The standard Magic-8 Ball contains 100ml of blue dyed alcohol, which is above TSA limitations. So no, you cannot bring Magic 8-Balls on aircraft in a carry-on bag.
PianoMan2112
100 ml IS the TSA limitation. They just convert it to 3.1 fluid freedom units.
SirSmurfalot
But it is flammable, so no.
AyatollahBahloni
Never shake a Magic 8 ball. It creates bubbles in the Matrix that don't ever coalesce and interferes with the operation of the die. Simply turn it over gently.
goflyblind
good advice. also:
rahbben
Yes, this is legit true! I did an experiment where I took 2 polaroids of the same thing. I shook one, and kept the other one warm to develop… And the non-shook one was a much better photo with better color saturation
Zreen
You know what? I'm gonna shake it even harder
DukeDarkwood
And that is why you never get any answers out of it. But, hey - you do you.
Zreen
Sorry, I tend to get a little rough with my little balls
Grenateh
TSA is a fucking joke lmao 2024 and we still have to endure this security theater fake bullshit.
worm61
When I was a kid, I had the bright idea to bring some squirt guns on a trip. Boy, did THAT cause my parents some grief!
SavageDrums
Ask again later...
MissPhoenix56
As a trans person, I hate the TSA
TrueNorthernLights
TSA agent: "Oh, good one!"
*Takes Magic 8 ball, shakes it* "Magic 8 ball, are you sa-"
*Magic 8 ball explodes, covering TSA agents in ash and dust*
*Family runs away, cackling.*
CatSparkleBreaker
they shook the 8-ball and it said... cavity searches for everyone!
Meltemi
Apparently whoever the TSA hired to run their website has more of a sense of humour than those agents: https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/whatcanibring/items/magic-8-ball
SigynRose
They’ve also got one for lightsabers. It’s cute
BlueDsc
I took a flight for the first time in many years last year and I was checking on there for a few things I wasn't sure about. I ended up spending a couple hours just browsing the entire thing and yeah, a lot of entries are just legit funny, whether it be a funny description like this one or just the fact that the entry exists. Fun fact, foam toy swords specifically are not allowed in your carry on bag, but you can check them in your luggage!
BillHubbard
But why is it not allowed?
dwfreed
Probably the liquid
SillySnowFox
TSA need to justify their existence
TsukariYoshi
Probably because liquid, potentially cause pressurized cabin?
downvoteifyouhatekittens
Take out all the liquid, then put whatever liquid you want in it
noWhiteHorseHereJustBatturuPrinsu
With any objects containing liquids the fear is terrorists will put in another liquid. And if they do this with two different liquids they could potentially join the two liquids while the airplane is in the sky and create a volatile liquid by chemical reaction. The fear is also that these terrorists will smuggle their liquid holding containers in using the bags of unsuspecting travellers. Also the airline wants to sell their expensive drinks and that's easier if you can't bring your own.
ContinuallySenseless
That terrorist and liquid thing doesn't hold water... Just get 10 desperate dudebros and have them each bring that 100ml and tadaa, enough to make a big enough cocktail for me to pass out.
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
Its a fucking glass ball. Can't have glass shards on a flight.
GlenL
But the glass bottles of alcohol they sell you on the plane are fine?
SlightlyRelatedToThePost
It's a fucking plastic ball.
wadenelson1
They're wondering if the 8-ball could be drained, and refilled with >3.5oz of nitroglycerine. Yes yes it could.
Grenateh
Yes in a movie not real life.
wadenelson1
No, IRL. Greater than 3.5 oz of liquid is what they are trained, trained, trained to not allow on board.
Clockworkdancerobot
TSA does weird shit. Make kids drink pond water samples, and takes plastic weapons from toys.
Ryebread91
jekath
My, then, 4 year old had to hand over a plastic sword. Had I got in a fight, I'd drop it immediately, because I could do more damage with my hands. But it RESEMBLED a weapon. Except it didn't. It resembled a toy. My 3 year old was in a tiger costume, but was allowed on the plane.
OrThatsWhatTheySayAnyway
Bloody hell that was dangerous, what if he went berserk and then munched on all the passengers.
jekath
And me, without a sword for protection.
ManvilleMike
acuteavocado7
one time a tsa agent made me lay down on the conveyor and slide thru the scanner
dwilson0725
They never let me do that...
SirSmurfalot
Bullshit
acuteavocado7
u think someone would do that? just go on the internet and tell lies?
nomorehate
Dannyalcatraz
It’s not just the TSA. I got 2 squirt guns confiscated before boarding my first ever flight. They were clear plastic (one red, one green) and shaped like 1950s ray guns.🤷🏾♂️
[deleted]
[deleted]
Dannyalcatraz
Can’t say that I have! The last time I owned a squirt gun was in 1986. It was a battery-powered Colt 45 Automatic lookalike with an orange tip. It pumped the water and made a vaguely gunshot-like sound (albeit quite muffled). Loaned it to a buddy for a costume party, and he blacked out the orange. I tossed it in the trash when I got it back.
titoitoi
"No officers, it only shoots water, look -"
Narrator: Tragically, Danny Alcatraz died that day, cut down in a hail of police bullets before he could even pull off a single squirt.
Dannyalcatraz
I actually know a guy who ALMOST died that way. He & his buddies (all HS-aged) were running around their neighborhood having a squirting fight while wearing trenchcoats & sunglasses. Someone called the cops. He was the one they encountered first, and he demonstrated his weapon was harmless while under their guns. He said it was the dumbest thing he’d ever done.
CrimeThinker
Did they even have liquid in them? At least they don't look for drugs I guess.
Dannyalcatraz
This was the 1970s, I was 4 or 5. The guns were cheap, leaky toys from a local 5 & Dime. I wasn’t ALLOWED to travel with them “loaded” because they’d have made me look like I wet my pants.
CrimeThinker
Oh now I get what you mean by "not just the TSA" since this was before the TSA existed.
Dannyalcatraz
Yes! Sorry I was unclear!☺️
freshthrowaway1138
At some point we need to organize voters to make calls for the TSA to change their rules. It's time. We've suffered enough for security theater. So who do we call?
Richter12x2
While I do see this hot take an awful lot lately, how many guns, bombs would need to be stopped for it to be worth it on your eyes? To me the answer is like, 1. I travel a lot and TSA sucks, yes. Flight maintenance delays suck too, but I don't demand they fly off in the broken plane because "it's probably fine"
freshthrowaway1138
I think we aren't talking about the same thing. I'm not talking about ending the TSA. I am talking about ending certain security theater policies that don't actually make us safer. Standardized and Federalized security for our transportation system is a good thing; but it isn't used the best policies at this time.
OddSoull
Idk about anyone else but worst TSA I have ever seen is just Orlando. Like Orlando is peak trash.
18booma
Calls are useless. Organise politically and vote for ceasefire candidates. This security theater acts to create a two tier system between Muslim looking and sounding people, and the rest of us. So getting full-on progressive politicians into power is the only way to overcome it.
freshthrowaway1138
ceasefire candidates? What does that have to do with what I'm talking about?
sammyismycat
ablamboo2
Not gonna happen. Too much money is involved with the theater.
freshthrowaway1138
Not with that specific policy. I'm not talking about ending the TSA.
FelonyRaptor
I dunno. Is it possible that maybe there's some other things you need to organize voters for first, over there in the USA?
freshthrowaway1138
If you organize for the small stuff with a specific goal, then it creates the framework for larger changes with larger groups. Every little bit helps.
FelonyRaptor
Ok, let's hope it works!
uplookdont
God damn image if the voting public made decisions regarding flight and airport security
freshthrowaway1138
I agree that the voters shouldn't be making all the decisions; but when policies make zero sense and have been proven to not significantly improve security, then they should changed. And the voters should speak up about these things to make those changes.
Frederf
Ask again later
skibitybebop
Bag fees also weren't a thing until post-9/11
freshthrowaway1138
Are you blaming the TSA for the actions of greedy corporations?
NSAgent
Sources say no.
3RsReadingRitingRithmatic
What, you don't enjoy the security theater of a group that has a 95% fail rate during controlled tests?
AthosUnderPressure
I had to take off my shoes to go to mexico. I did not on the return trip. Both delta flights...
Tumescentpie
The tsa is security theater and the type of welfare the gop likes. A jobs program that uses a socialist style government job system in contradiction to their apparent hatred of socialism (unless it is a government work force like the military or the tsa). And isn't likely going anywhere because the response to 9/11 was to embrace fascism and do a bunch of dumb shit.
freshthrowaway1138
I'm not trying to make it go anywhere, just change the policies. Travel was different pre-TSA and pre-9/11. The world was different back then, and adapting to change is needed. The TSA isn't a bad idea. Federalization and standardization of security in the transportation system is a good thing in my book. Taking this mission out of the hands of for profit companies is a good thing.
Can it be bad? Yeppers, but it can be better as well. Which starts with better policies and procedures.
Tumescentpie
The tsa is a bad idea. Flat out it is a bad idea.
freshthrowaway1138
So transportation security is a bad thing? A federal office that standardizes it, is bad? What is your solution? Or do you just not think about these things?
Tumescentpie
Are you stupid or stupid? The tsa was created in response to the 9/11 attacks as part of gop fascism. How fucking stupid is your line of questioning with this fact in mind? Are you so stupid that you would ask if I hadn't thought about it, when you've clearly not thought about it? Yes.
freshthrowaway1138
So you insult me then block me? What an ignorant coward.
PowerFart
An alien armada
nerezarga
Just got back from NZ, bought manuka honey at the gift shop, sealed with a security bag, the took it because they couldn't test it, told me the test would most likely fail, and they would be forced to search all my belongs and give me an extensive security exam, whatever that means, this shit is a god damn joke
freshthrowaway1138
Was this when you were entering the US? Because if so, then that wasn't the TSA. It was the Customs and Border Patrol Protection. Different department, though it would be interesting to see how many poor policies they use as well.
nerezarga
Yeah, had my stuff scanned to get on my domestic flight home, it was a layover, honestly I couldn't say, but there were dudes in blue telling me to dump my water to keep the public safe
Zreen
Ghostbusters
SalmonTheWise
photog
BrianTheImpaler
Goats butter
MisterOates
Guts Busters
JaketheLate
Goad Batter
ThePastmaster
Your representatives in congress.
Getouttamyswamp
Thats less exciting than ghostbusters
freshthrowaway1138
On one hand, yeah, but I'm wondering who is more specifically in charge of the DHS oversight?
freshthrowaway1138
Ok, found the link to the committee. These people have some weird faces. I'm not trying to be petty, but please look.
https://homeland.house.gov/transportation-and-maritime-security/
Nizlee
That entire committee is AI 😐
BlueDsc
Several of those straight up look like they came out of an analog horror game.
naught101
You should open your call with that
heroesblood
Unfortunately, calling your representative usually just returns a canned response and being ignored.
MeestowKitty
"My office is working tirelessly to pass SB-131-4 A Ban on Flag Burning. We are so happy to have your support. I'm fighting for all American's right to not see their flag burned by hippies. Thank YOU, voter."
heroesblood
If that was a King of the Hill reference, mad respect.
MeestowKitty
I am SO GLAD someone got it! Kudos to you, my good hotman.
Sooner70
As a one off? Absolutely! But if they're getting 10,000 calls a day complaining about Random Policy, they absolutely take note. That's literally one of the things their staff is paid to do.
thatiswhyyoushoulddoityourself
Yup. Because if they can tell the voters they took care of that easy and minor issue that everyone is pissed about, that’s good for election season.
M4UsedRollout
The TSA should just be disbanded. 9/11 was impossible to duplicate the instant the first plane hit the tower. The TSA never served a necessary purpose.
GloveFullaVaseline
Fuck, I'm so in agreement. We already had security...
freshthrowaway1138
Well no, we had a shitty patchwork of security solutions. I dislike the states controlling much of anything, so I prefer the Federal solution. And the TSA could be something useful.
JaketheLate
That's not true. They were the visual demonstration that the country was doing everything it could to make flying safe.
Imagine how bad it would be, economically, if people just refused to fly.
M4UsedRollout
No, people would still fly if they had to. I’d argue that the TSA’s heavy handed security theater is a bigger deterrent than terrorism. The TSA is the reason I haven’t been on an airplane since 2006.
achilleshadnofeet
I just never really thought it was that bad? I've lost a slightly than larger bottle of shampoo once or twice but the only parts that I ever hated were the lines. Then I got Global Entry and Pre check last year and now I usually spend less than a couple of minutes in security. Not trying to bring you down. I'm just legitimately curious what about your experience ruined it for you for so long given that I have had the opposite? Again, legitimately curious and want to understand.
M4UsedRollout
Maybe they’ve scaled it back but the naked body scanners and the random searches sure put me off ever considering flying.
TacoPoweredHelicopter
Good luck disbanding that... It's big money.
Qualtagh
hello I am here to perform a brief, insensitive joke: They did duplicate it though, about a block over
LEADFOOTGRANNY
Jesus's fucking christmas, I laughed
Gayforbae
Listen here you little shit...
Richter12x2
And yet you see all these news stories about them stopping people bringing guns... I'm fine carrying less shampoo thanks.
JS87
Oh you poor soul, they barely stop anything getting through. They have like an 80% failure rate.
M4UsedRollout
I’ve never seen news stories of them stopping things. Only missing things.
freshthrowaway1138
Ok, I'm not for disbanding the TSA. I'm a Federalist, so I like the idea of a federalization of our transportation security, because security is important in our world. It shouldn't be left up to the states. That's silly and inefficient. I like a single system for the country.
But.
It needs to be an administration that uses the best policies and procedures. Not security theater that does nothing to help our nation.
travishawkins2199
If they're just faking it anyway they should be faster
nemesisx00
So you're for disbanding the Theatrical Security Agency then.
freshthrowaway1138
Nope, just editing their procedures. No need to throw out the baby with the bathwater.
RocketOgre
They had that before the TSA as we know it. It's been proven. To not be effective, it is literally giving up your privacy and time for a *sense* of security. There are behind the scenes programs that work, and could be.more that work better.
freshthrowaway1138
Sortof. I remember the world before TSA, and it kinda sucked because there wasn't a clear universal set of guidelines. I like federalization. It makes things smoother. Yeah, many of the TSA's policies aren't great; but I still think the idea is good.
But that could also be because I seriously dislike state run operations when I travel between so many states. So wasteful. Give me a clean line of organization. Of course, I also hate Sheriff's offices and think they should be disbanded. lol
gesel
Yes, the protocols should be globally normalized (AIATA and published british and TSA standards are improving). Terrorist bombings of planes are way down since the era of metal detector only screening. The new Smiths x-ray diffraction baggage scanners are very impressive as are the Rhode & Schwarz QPS scanners. Air travel is a legitimate strategic vulnerability and is the target of ongoing attacks. That they aren't successful isn't proof the defensive measures are unnecessary.