CrazyViruss
106029
1348
37
This just ain't right
Jul 8, 2023 12:21 AM
CrazyViruss
106029
1348
37
This just ain't right
lobsterwhisperer
Got bumped from a flight home from Columbus last fall. Ordered pizza at the hotel on Uber Eats from a place rated something like “best local pizza - 4 stars!” Was delivered an uncooked culinary war crime with raw kielbasa slices instead of pepperoni, tossed haphazardly Meth-Chef style. The EPA had to come in hazmat suits to dispose of it in an abandoned mine shaft.
ThailandExpress
Call 911, a crime has been committed
mustbethedragon
The only inedible pizza I ever got was in Ohio. The crust was doughy through most of it, the sauce was straight tomato paste, and they had squashed breakfast sausage patties on it. Ate one bite each because we were hungry, but gave up after that. We chose to stay hungry.
DexterDouglas
This is Ohio Valley Style, and, yes, it is an abomination.
brotherbuzz
Where ever it came from, you have a moral obligation to society at large to identify the source of that war crime.
depressedscientist
Clevelander here. Wtf kind of cursed bread is that!? We have some amazing pizzerias
tocfanke4
People talk shit about Chicago style or pineapple when this exists.
malexder4
That cannot be real.
CraigAnopolis
Oh HELL no !
weidermeijer
Certainly not Donato’s.
Grenateh
Fuck I fucking miss Donatos. You can’t get thin crust in Texas that’s actually good.
JackieTreehornProductions
preach brother - I moved to MN and there's no thin crust like it here. They think thin crust just means half the cheese and half the toppings too. Donatos killed the thin crust market. Mariachi, founder's favorite, even the chicken veggie rocked. Miss it so much.
vlaurelrose101
Cleveland, maybe?
LucidPariah
NancyReaganSchoolOfGawk
@RavingIrradiator213 looks like your description of pizza in Maine.
MyBigMouth
Probably explains why there's a lot of astronauts from Ohio, they're trying to get away from that... thing.
DdCno1
It looks like an alien from one of the cheaper '60s Star Trek Episodes, with Spock laying a hand on it and communicating that way, because they didn't have the budget to properly animate it.
onepieceofgumleft
Hulser
OK, but how is this not one of the top reaction gifs?
StarSumiaki
... I'd still eat it
v
Sutashi
I truly believe there is no such thing as bad pizza. But I rate pizza based on a scale of how much alcohol is required to eat it. On a scale of Sober to Black Out Drunk I'd rate this as tipsy.
StarSumiaki
Fair. Fair. I'd eat it sober, lol.
CrazyViruss
StarSumiaki
Fortunately, OP, the internet is FULL of monster fuckers
CrazyViruss
eoyorre
That's what happens when you order 2 minutes before closeing
pleaseuseotherdoor
Or you order pizza from a Chinese place or orange Julius.
ImNotTaylorSwift
JohnBigboote74
Ah, yes... "Cleveland-style" pizza. Just be glad you didn't order a supreme.
TI99Kitty
Do I want to know what a Cleveland-style supreme pizza is? I'm guessing probably no, if it's worse than this.
weidermeijer
The Mistake on the Lake.
nuclearmomm
When I was visiting Ohio, I was served a bowl of mayo with green powder in it and was told it was guacamole to go with chips. I am from California and know what guacamole is and it wasn’t that
EmoWookie33
Looks like Altoona style pizza https://uncoveringpa.com/altoona-style-pizza
Bloodnuttheflatulent
I lived in Altoona for a while...never seen that shit before.
JustAPileOfCats
It was Pennsylvania all along.
totaleclipseofdescartes
AlwaysHasBeen.jpg
Arcanum3000
I can't help but note that the headline describes it as "interesting". Not "delicious", not "enjoyable". "Interesting."
LehmanParty
May you eat interesting pizzas
walnutbreath
Nah, Altoona is that yellow cheese. It's also vile.
RoyalWithChz
American cheese is awful.
darkhalfbreed
Altoona is... marginally better than this abomination
OuchMouse
Whatever it is, it’s a hate crime against Italians
Vyrro
jdore8
CrazyViruss
putcleverusernamehere
Brought to you by the same folks that brought you Skyline "Chili" 🤮
FentuckyCriedKhicken
Are they trying to spell something on the pizza tho. Like “help” or “call police”
pteryakisan
Calling the police is the correct move here, regardless of hostage status.
DdCno1
Or: "Don't eat, human meat."
geoffreyfourmyle
"stuck in Ohio"
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
There's this nasty ass pizza place in KC MO called Emos. The have Velveeta cheese on the pizza.
Sutashi
Just another reason to hate Missouri.
Sonicschilidogs
Some other guy posted a link describing this as Altoona style, from somewhere in Pennsylvania, and the article said the original recipe used Velveeta, now replaced usually with yellow American cheese..... So, apparently that is a thing people like.. I'm not going to judge though, I'm from Cincinnati, so I like Cincinnati Style cheese coneys, which I know most people find revolting.
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
I remember hearing about that nasty item as well. I try not to judge but I ate the Velveeta pizza and it's gross.
SleventyEleventy
I think you're thinking of Imo's. If you are, it's not Velveeta, it's Provel.
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
That's it, it looks feels and tastes like white Velveeta.
InvidiousSquid
I also would be emo if I had to eat that.
walnutbreath
And on the other side of the state, you have Imo's (which should be considered a crime against humanity).
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
Yep it's imos, my spelling is sus.
walnutbreath
Ahh, than it's not Velveeta, but rather Provel "cheese."
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
That stuff looks smells and taste like Velveeta. It's obviously a local fav but not my thing.
5omeWhiteGuy
is this real
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
Ohio? Yes unfortunately.
animatronicChristmasChickens
When Ohio is involved, who knows?
Inkfinger
staged.
PrincessBride1
Bet money this is one of those scams where they put flyers under doors at hotels offering pizza delivery.
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
No, Ohio is quiet real.
khensu83
That pizza is an abomination and should be thrown into a active volcano
TI99Kitty
Now, what did that poor volcano ever do to you? Do you WANT to anger the volcano gods?
pfunk81
Krashtestdummy
ivymantled69
This shit is bananas
meauho
THIS shit is bananas (and honey, peanut butter, bacon, cheese, and sauce - because it's an abomination of pizza from Cincinnati): https://www.indy100.com/viral/pizza-banana-topping-restaurant-ohio
MADchemEE
No. Mashed potatoes.
SuperGeniusPS
420supercoolusername69
“Pizza” “Ohio”
3Davideo
It's only pizza if it comes from the Piazza region of Italy. Otherwise, it's just sparkling cheesy tomato bread.
alrightalrightalrightpartyatthemoontower
TheNamesAshHousewares
🎵 I live in Ohio, ordered some Pizzaaa🎵
spidermenz
PostalHeathen
I'm from Ohio, and I've never seen something like that in my life.
ArcanisTheOmnipotent
It’s just best to avoid Ohio all together.
suttonsboot
The letters in Ohio look like a tractor
ElroydIsGone
...when you teach AI to make pizza...
PapaJoeNH
But if any of us were asked where you could buy this monstrosity, we'd all guess Ohio.
mikeatike
There's Ohio Valley pizza which is this dumbass stuff from Pittsburgh where they don't cook the cheese. And before some goddamn yinzer rolls in here with a "ackshuly the resudual heat of the crust heats the cheese a little bit", fuck you.
PostalHeathen
That's not an Ohio Valley style pizza. Maybe a super-shitty attempt at one, at best. Also, Ohio Valley style isn't a Pittsburgh thing, it has its origins in Steubenville, OH and Wheeling, WV. Neither of which are Pittsburgh. And we like the pizza that way, thank you very much. It's even better with extra cheese.
SkeletorGirl
Y'all also have the weirdest milk. Like the cartons it comes in? Idk maybe I live too close to the dairy but omg we got a different style jug every single time we went to the same store. A different brand every. Single. Time. That was half of my vacation photos... Just milk containers. White. Yellow. Green. Red. Get it together Ohio!
FetteredJuvenescence
Nice try, we all know Ohio doesn't exist.
maddmurph
What in the ever loving shit is that?
NomDeImguerre
Bold of you to admit you're from there.
majortool
I'm not sure anyone can prove Ohio exists.
FloodingWaters
So it's usually worse?
HandoB4Javert
bound4doom
Yeah but your from Ohio you have seen some pretty messed up shit. i know I have driven through there many times
mezzz
Oh look at Mr. lives in the nice part of Ohio here....
meauho
Apparently not the part that has the pizza with peanut butter, bananas, bacon, and cheese (Cincinnati)
TheOneThatGotBanned
No one should ever see this in their life
LivingDecomposition
You can't fool me. Ohio isn't real
PostalHeathen
It's the other way around. Ohio is all there is.
rbudrick
Look, go to Amsterdam, OH. Not far from Penn. border. I have literally had this pizza. 5 bucks back in 2008 for a huuuuge rectangular atrocity. My wife's family pumped it up as the best pizza on earth for months before hand. I did not realize they were fucking stupid. Absolutely idiots. You have no fucking idea. Right on the border to Steubenvillle. You know, where the foorball rapists live?3
rbudrick
I am not fucking joking. This is absolutely real. WV border reality. I wanted to throw up, and these stupid fucks gorged themselves. Italy exploded.
PostalHeathen
I hate that THAT is what Steubenville's known for. Is it a great town? No. Does it deserve to be judged by that one incident? Also no. My wife worked in Steubenville when that went down, and I can tell you that the locals were every bit as outraged about that as everyone else. I'm thankful that the outrage, both local and national, kept it from being swept under the rug like they tried to do.
rbudrick
Well, until Steubenville does literally anything else besides be a horrible place to live or visit, that's unfortunately its claim to fame.
tokenhooker
You're talking about DiCarlo's aka Stubenville-Style pizza. Crust and sauce cooked, thick shredded motto goes on cold and about half-melts. Doesn't look like this and is delicious!! Cornmeal crunch on the bottom of the crust and the cheese is super high quality. So so good.
rbudrick
No, man I absolutely am not. We're talking half a square meter of american cheese over king arthur flour dough.
PostalHeathen
That sounds horrifying. I thought Altoona style was the only one that dared to put american cheese on pizza.
rbudrick
I think they used ketchup for sauce too.
PostalHeathen
DiCarlos uses provolone instead of mozzarella.
NullNameAvailable
Being from Ohio, why do so many people leave the planet when they're born in your state?
tombeithemist
<6-year old, repeating joke to friends> "Ohio looks like a tractor". <4-year old sister, who just started really talking 6-months earlier> "...trying to leave Ohio".
PostalHeathen
If you're looking for the fastest way out of Ohio, NASA's got a pretty strong sales pitch.
NullNameAvailable
Is....is the urge to leave THAT strong......?
PterodactylSpicyKurbis
Yes.
NullNameAvailable
I'm so sorry! Just don't get on a ship funded by a billionaire to get off this rock, and I'll support you!
PterodactylSpicyKurbis
I used the military to leave Ohio. Sooooo many military ppl from Ohio.
smithincanton
Ya we have Columbus-Style, Youngstown/Brier Hill-style. Ohio Valley Style is a little weird, hot pizza covered with more cold cheese.
PostalHeathen
And I'm pretty sure the pizza shown is none of those. Certainly not an OV style.
Grenateh
There’s no such thing as Ohio valley style. That’s West Virginia. And it’s not the “oh Ohio valley”
smithincanton
Hummm Nope, Wikipedia says you're wrong. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohio_Valley-style_pizza
Grenateh
Keep trying to make it a thing all you want. It’s not. And Wikipedia is irrelevant.
Grenateh
Yea that’s nice. I’m actually from Ohio. Ohio valley style isn’t a real thing. No one in Ohio will disagree.
PostalHeathen
It's called the Ohio Valley because the Ohio River runs through it, not because all of it is in the state of Ohio. It's the correct name for the place and style of pizza. Besides, if you're really concerned about names, Wheeling, WV is in Ohio County, WV, adding another layer of correct to the naming.
mikeatike
It's named after the river and the place is based in Pittsburgh. Beto's. And yea, it'd exactly as disgusting as it sounds.
Vortex153
Yeah, I agree… this looks way to good to be from Ohio
Grenateh
Yea I’m the one who doesn’t talk unfounded needless trash like a little bitch about an entire state and I get the downvotes. Imgur working as intended.
Vortex153
It was a pretty childish reaction to a lighthearted ribbing.
HUGHgReaction
Buuuuurrrrnnn
iquestionthepinappleeveryday
You can tell it’s not from Ohio pretty easily. See how the cheese is kind of sticking to the other food stuffs, had it been in actual Ohio, it would have grown it’s own cheese legs and been trying to leave.
Rokoma
Ohio used to have a longer name, but the letters left.
mikeatike
This looks like that shit they make in Altoona where it's school cafeteria pizza but they use American slices. Fucking disgusting. https://www.google.com/search?q=altoona+pizza
kleinkaasje
Oh my
Grenateh
Fuck you.
Blackmetalhappiness
Bad day, bud?
MuffinProof
Come fuck me yourself, you coward!
Blackmetalhappiness
Fine.
wellembalmed
A New Yorker, visiting Ohio, plumb flabergasted y'all don't have slices ready for sale. Who sits 20 minutes waiting and orders a whole pie?
SoupCanMan
Volume of expected sales. Burgers are the more popular to go food, so they can sit under the heat lamps for an hour before getting sold. Waiting for pizza slices to be sold is what gas stations do, and that is not good pizza, sitting there for 6 hours.
pookieeatworld
Former Papa John's manager here and I have to say, fuck you New Yorkers. You'd come into my store and demand just a slice and then when I said we didn't have it you'd make a big fucking deal about it and then settle on ordering a small pizza and bitching about the make time and then bitching about the no-slices thing again when I'd "finally" get your order to you. Idc if I lose all my fake internet points over this one, you NY pricks are the most entitled dicks in this country.
Julia928
Plenty of places in my area (NE Ohio) sold by the slice before COVID, but had to stop for obvious reasons. Some have started doing it again.
ZacNolan
Well, it's like this. It's either crap pizza, in which case we have it delivered whole. Or it's the best pizza ever, and we'll go out and sit in the restaurant for it because Ohio. In NYC there's something massively better to do within walking distance:)
CgnCalling
“Pie”
Onsvaltti
I've never in my life heard that any place in my country sells pizza by slices. Whole pizza or nothing. (Unless it's an expensive buffet and you can eat as much as you can, and then get a diarrhea)
AgainstMethod
As with *SO* many things, this is New Yorkers thinking the place they just visited is weird when they're actually noticing something that's unique to New York.
AgainstMethod
See also: New Yorkers being shocked that every train system doesn't stop every few blocks.
Gamer4125
As a pizza seller, I'm so glad we don't sell by the slice. Shit's obnoxious.
curnow19870
As an Australian I find buying pizza by the slice strange. You can usually only get whole pizzas here.
FarkasMacTavish
Pizza by the slice isn't actually normal, my guy.
gypsyspot
it is in urban areas
FarkasMacTavish
Which is not the normal type of area. Also, you'll find that it's not even normal in most urban areas. New York is weird for a lot of reasons, and while I'm sure other cities besides NYC, and even cities in other states, do it, doesn't mean that you'll easily find it in every city everywhere.
AvidGamerShkunk
everyone
AvidGamerShkunk
literally everyone
UncleVenoM
Lol I get it since you're from NYC, but you sound like a babe in the woods. Yes, the rest of the world doesn't have slices prepared for you, bagels galore, or ANY form of public transportation..welcome to the rest of the US.
wellembalmed
Acrually there's a while entire state named New York. I'm 15 minutes north of PA. Just a wop who loves a slice.
UncleVenoM
I know, I own houses in upstate. But we use NYC pizza as barometers, not upstate or western city pies - it's just not done. Point is, good pizza exists everywhere, and while NYC owns the title for a certain type, going north and having shitty pizza just means you found and selected shitty pizza - because there are pies up in Quebec that would put some NYC shops to shame, hard water dough or not.
mymidlifecrisiswasat23
As someone who lived in the interior and moved back to the west coast, it breaks down to speed of life. I’m not hating, just saying the pace and the sense or urgency isn’t quite as it is when one goes to the coasts. Change is slower to come and a lot of other things follow suit.
Akurei00
There's a little bit of expectation too. The idea of pizza by the slice was foreign to me as a kid (not Ohio but nearby). Can't just walk up to a pizza place, it's a drive. Like you were saying, "fast" doesn't really register. Bigger orders for a bunch of people. Because of that mindset, by-the-slice is low volume and just going to sit there for a long time, so poor quality. There's places here that do slices, but they're lunch specials only and wouldn't have made it in my hometown.
DJtanasfuck
Dante’s in Kamm’s Corner
PostalHeathen
I'd rather wait for a freshly made pizza. Even with Ohio Valley style, which can be ordered by the slice, it's usually prepared when you order it.
MisterLemons
It is "fresh". Those slices aren't in the counter display for more than a few hours and they're not fully cooked. So when you ask for a slice or two your meal is ready by the time you've picked and set up a table.
AbelardSnazz
a few hours is not fresh
PostalHeathen
We've got a local pizza place that does that. Good pizza, too.
ChicanoBatman
It's just a shift in mindset. BTS or By The Slice is a normal culture in NYC, Chicago etc. If peeps know it's available and understand the 1/2 baked process then the demand becomes larger and those pies become even more fresh and amazing. Fresh Hot Now;
Grenateh
Literally all normal people who eat pizza. Pizza is not something you eat one slice of.
hashbaz
I can only speak for Columbus, but there's a few places with pizza by the slice. The most well known is Mikey's late night slice, but there's a few others as well. The rest of Ohio can get fucked I guess?
Schlovia
All of Ohio can get fucked tbh, especially Dayton. Stupid highway loops around the city
euphoricopportunity
Well, what would you do instead, run the highway through it and break up neighborhoods and impede foot traffic?
Schlovia
Just get rid of ohio
OffTheGrid99
Until they quit electing republicans, yes, they can get fucked
AnalAssimilator
Cincy has a few by the slice options
jargonmon
On my drive up to Boston from Queens, my wife and I stopped at some "pizzeria" in Rhode Island. It was some dough stuff with jarred spaghetti sauce and polly-o. It was all sorts of wrong. But the real memory is some kid said to his dad "dad, this is the best pizza ever" and my wife and I still bring that up.
UncleVenoM
I live in Boston and have lived in NYC. Using a kid as a foil makes no sense unless you want your taste compared to a kids.You picked a shitty place. End of story.
GoodBrotherGrimm
All they said was they still bring it up because it was what most people would consider terrible pizza.
westellar
Who orders by the slice? I'd have to order half a dozen slices anyway. That's my dinner, man. I gotta have more than one slice of pizza!
mthrndr01
Pretty common up and down the west coast and in Buffalo where I now live. Usually places with relatively larger slices. Get one or two and a soda and get out in under five minutes with a quick lunch.
meauho
What I love is by the slice places usually require 5-6 slices to equal a whole pizza but you can then just as much by ordering 2 - 2.5 slices
Mistruths
NY pizza by-the-slice kinda thing is more "quick lunch" than dinner.
TI99Kitty
Same thing with Sbarro's. Plus, it's usually cheaper to buy a whole pie than a bunch of slices.
RandyRandalman
Closest thing you get to that in a non coastal place is like a heat box at a gas/truck stop for like 7-10 bucks
smegheadenergy
Casey’s pizza is the ONLY good thing about Iowa. The only thing
Sutashi
Do you not have Sbarros? Casey's is ok but Sbarros is a the best by the slice joint.
TI99Kitty
Sbarro's is not bad. Especially when all you want is a slice, and don't want to wait for a whole pie.
RandyRandalman
Those are only in Mall food courts really
interesseret
I'm gonna go ahead and say 99% of the world does that mate. I've never had pizza outside of pizza hut that wasn't done like that. Who wants congealed long time heated pizza when you can wait a couple of minutes and get a fresh one?
Mistruths
big enough cities has enough people to pretty much always be serving fresh slices
mrthewhitee
It's def not 99% of the world. Every major city I've been to has had pizza by the slice places.
bound4doom
Yeah but they are crap relatively, not like NY. I mean heck even most small towns will have Pizza hut and they will have a PIzza buffet, Most Gas stations sell Pizza by the slice too. Fozen pizza heated up. Goes around on the little heat wheel. However, still not as good as most places that sell fresh entire pizza. Even Buc-ee's the huge place in Texas has Pizza by the slice but it is heated from frozen.
mrthewhitee
I'm not talking about pizza hut or gas station pizza. I'm talking actual local qualility pizza places. Fresh made pizza by the slice.
capughe
I'm in SK, Canada. Pizza by the slice is widely available but it's cost effective to get a whole pie. Rarely I get a slice as a quick snack. Usually order pizza ahead of time for delivery or pick up, not just waiting in the restaurant.
TheSkleebler
I miss mid-2000s Vern's
capughe
I moved here in 2010, but my fiance waxes poetic about Verns
weidermeijer
You can go to Little Caesar’s. It’s fast and hot.
xKagonu
Took 45 minutes to get my order last time I went there. They only had one person working. :( She looked exhausted.
mutewalking
It's HOT and it's READY
AleksStark
But is it good?...
EdoubleLIOdoubleT
Is it good tho?
Sonicschilidogs
The deep dish and the crazy bread, but not the hot and ready
JustAPileOfCats
The stuffed pretzel crust they do periodically is hands down some of the best pizza.
IxnayOnTheOttenRay
No. You are mistaken.
imgjim
There pizza spectrum is a lot like sex. The high end is unearthly and spiritual. The low end is still pretty good, gets the job done, and you might be a little ashamed, but who cares.
DarkBusterBaron
For it's price it's great it's much cheaper than other nearby pizza places and is decent quality but like three times cheaper.
EdoubleLIOdoubleT
Lol, I do appreciate it... Really... But I was just playing on the meme or whatever. The original commenter actually replied "correctly". I've had little Caesars many times.
morningxafter
It’s really good if you are a fan of tomato sauce poured on cardboard.
SeeYaLaterMethamphetaGator
Man I don't get it. Little Caesars in Canada is actually not that bad
Twist1000
Lol!
FarkasMacTavish
Having worked there, I disagree. It's REALLY good, if you don't go in with the stigma on your mind. The sauce isn't the best (we made it from concentrate), but the crust is made from dough made in-house.
wellembalmed
It is hot, and it is ready
KommSusserTod
It's the Taco Bell of pizza.
EdoubleLIOdoubleT
RhymingEverything
something something something... op's mom