svardfiska
37478
1045
13
Sad but true
Jul 6, 2026 11:23 PM
svardfiska
37478
1045
13
Glorfman12
MY WIFE
Senior year of college. We've known each other as classmates for 4 yrs. I'm on the rocks w/ then-GF, she "invites" me to "keep me & my friends company" in Professional Ethics. Mid lecture, writes "Spider-Man, May 4" on my notes" & after class says "Get my note?"
"Oh? Yeah looks cool. "
"Well you're taking me right?"
captainenhancement
When the cease and desist order doesn’t arrive
bippityboppitybuttsex
After 34 years of marriage, I have no idea....
wuapinmon
Bruh, she says stuff sometimes that's about paying the bills that she thinks is flirting and my adult kids are like, "Papi, qué te pasa?"
Someshithead241
I'll tell you if it ever happens
ChelChehalem
Three years of on-again, off-again dating after the 1 night stand that resulted in the birth of our daughter, I was doing our taxes and figured out it made financial sense to get married. Our daughter is now 1 year away from her Electrical Engineering degree. I think he is beginning to suspect I am into him.
RedJacketHero
You never know, you just have to wager your entire social life on your best guess.
Hyzenthlay021
4Astaroth
She just wants the toy plane to land safely.
IMarkEverythingISayAsNSFWBecauseModsDontKnowWhatMatureMeans
NSFW "Yeah, but... she brought this other guy here. It's probably him she's after. I'll leave you two alone."
Sechran
DefundIsraelTheGenocidalNation
Welp been 20 years, still no realizations
homerinchinatown
I've wondered a time or two over the years, but since that never actually happens it must not have been the case. When in doubt, doubt!
DukeSliscus
You think that's bad? I can't tell when _men_ are actually flirting with me. "gee that guy sure was friendly, offered me a smoke and a drink and just wanted to hear me talk about mysel- oh no"
FartingWiener
I don't know, I would probably do the same thing even though I wouldn't be flirting. Some people are just nice
Snooj
For me it was a few years after high school when a friend of mine was reading my yearbook entries. He said "she didn't write anything like that in mine" and I realized she had liked me. A lot. Oops.
azazyel
10 year reunion for me. Fuck I was an idiot
Canigetbannedagain2
When you open the fridge trying to find a jar of pickles ... And freeze in place, remembering when she smiled at you 3 years ago.
Bugdaze
Yes. This.
randomwalrus
So... we're out of pickles?
Canigetbannedagain2
Absolutely, it was a double sad moment.
meheezen
Only 3 years later? Wow, how do i learn such skill?
Canigetbannedagain2
That's the neat thing.......
someguy7734206
And then you realize 7 more years later that that was wishful thinking, and she is in fact like that with everyone.
Wargamez
An extremely attractive and way above my league co-worker used to text me late night and ask me if I wanted to pickup food and come over to watch a movie with her. I never did…
KR1570F
why not? curious, not badgering. I don't like the culturally normative relationship escalator so even "i just didn't want to hook up with her and kinda thought that's what she was looking to do" is a perfectly valid reason.
yamsonyamsonyams
Hooking up with attractive people you don’t like isnt worth it a lot of the time
Wargamez
I had just gotten out of a long relationship and wasn’t really looking for anything. Never really occurred to me she was probably just wanting to hook up. But she was gorgeous, I should have gone over there.
imredheaded
Similar story for me too. She gave me shoulder rubs, touched my abs and when randomly talking about her boobs said if she ever got implants I'd be the first to touch them. I didnt know until she left and people told me she liked me
MenloPart
I never had experiences like this, but I finally got married, and I wouldn't change anything about her.
wuapinmon
I pity your cluelessness. My cluelessness was different, but yours? I pity yours.
SJBSavageInk
Bro she's literally talked about you touching her boobs
imredheaded
Yeah but she was like... really hot. And I'm like.... me.
TheKatodrome
You are better than you think. We all kind of are. Believe what people tell you about yourself, it's hard I know, but I do it more now and I feel better off and have some real (not a defensive insecurity kind) self confidence plus "Constructive Positivity" instead of the old factory setting "Bleak Realism" is making me better at my job and less anxious about things I say/do.
So believe you are the you people say you are, not that old "me" you might have been once or never.
Trankia12
BlueDsc
Gotta love the trope of guys not wanting to be the guy who misinterprets being friendly as flirting so they end up misinterpreting flirting a just being friendly.
magikmarker
As a person on the spectrum I couldn't tell you
physicsdoc
When she shows up naked with a six pack; and even then, I'm still only 75% convinced.
itstheendoftheworldasweknowitandifeelfine
My one exception to being ignorant was on a wilderness trip when two attractive women were flirting with my buddy and I in a ridiculously transparent way.
My buddy and I had to politely decline their advances as we are both happily married. But we had never ever ever experienced such audacious flirting before. Or at least never recognized it before. As a single man I was completely oblivious.
homerinchinatown
Obvious flirting is the clearest sign that they're not really flirting. They probably intended to rob you guys or sacrifice you to some pagan deity in the woods. Much more likely than anyone actually being interested
itstheendoftheworldasweknowitandifeelfine
That's fair. So I guess I'm still completely oblivious.
SteveTheEgg
No.
torp
She was the most beautiful girl in my class, in the school and in the world.
She waited until everyone had left to speak to me alone.
Smiling, she came to me and whispered gently I had cat's eyes.
I couldn't believe a girl like her could like me, so I blurted out, "Better cat's eyes than snake's eyes," and walked away, embarrassed.
I was 15.
I still think about it every day.
I'm 57 now.
ralph2sam
I dunno but it seems like too much paperwork.
crazyspelling
Detecting flirting isn't hard. Determining the REASON she's flirting is a challenge. Does she like me? Does she like me enough to want me to ask for her number? Is she just bored and flirting is fun? Is she flirting because she wants something? Is she flirting to make someone else jealous? Is she flirting because she's nervous, i.e., it's a self-defense mechanism born from unresolved past trauma? All are equally likely, but only one is a good outcome for the male.
Voojagig
Can confirm. It wasn't quite 7 years later but......damn.
Xique
In my case it was her saying "I like you and will probably try to sleep with you later" been married for 3 years now
CerisCinderwolf
randomwalrus
Ah, so your wife told you the nice lady was hitting on you. Makes sense.
LordofGoats
Her: "I want you."
Me: "You want me to what?"
Clayman8
Ok but like are you sure?
Xique
I still check often, so far she's always responded yes, but i may never really know for sure
Clayman8
Hear me out, its a gamble, but you should ask her to marry you. Just in case.
Zeterai
https://imgur.com/vJLa69o.png
OmnesMundiLardum
Mmm better wait until after you're married to all her out. She could just be trying to be nice. Better not risk it and make things awkward.
GodHelpMeToBeGood
I was alone in her car, she said,"Im new to town,my parents aren't here, I'm all alone and I wish someone would show me around town." I said,"Aw I'm sorry, I don't really go out much just kind of spend time with my family. Hopefully you make some friends." lol
GorillaPowers
So, you really can't tell from this interaction. It's likely she was just being friendly or making a joke. Nothing to go on here
SocoFox
Mine grabbed my nipples and kissed me. 15 years.
LateNightBunnyParty
Aww, congratulations and may you have a lifetime more! My best friend was moving in cuz I needed a new roommate and he needed out of his brother's house. During a break between trips for his stuff, we decided to just get married instead. Gave ourselves 6 days to put together a small wedding in my front yard. 22 blissful years later, we're still happily married.
oprahslovechild
So you weren’t dating at all?
LateNightBunnyParty
Nope! Just besties, and strictly platonic up til that point.
oprahslovechild
Wow, that is very interesting
LateNightBunnyParty
We've never been the most conventional folks.
philmoregraves
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1Yjh5dXI4cW01MmR2NW9uNng1aGtsc29lNDZtMmJ6cXB1cTNtZmtxMiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/1hAxQTH0HEWS3L0oRF/200w.webp
philmoregraves
For any ladies inquiring.... like at all
charondaboatman
They tell you.
WellWhatTheHeck
And we completely misinterpret the message.
Clayman8
No they fucking dont. Thats exactly where the problem is.
charondaboatman
Well, the ones whom you ask and the ones who matter do. Stop guessing, ffs. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
EroticZombiePants
The act of venturing itself is largely guesswork.
charondaboatman
Life is risk. Every single bit of it.
MrShineHimDiamond
As a newly minted IT geek, a secretary related that over the weekend she had the "clean the sheath" of one of her horses. She described the process of soaping up her stallion's joystick and I said something like. "Huh, that's weird." IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME, decades later, that she was probably flirting.
DdCno1
I mean, face it, you wouldn't have been able to compete with your thumb stick.
Corrodias
Well, she was trying, anyway. Maybe. It's kind of a weird topic to choose for that, but it's kind of a weird topic to bring up at all.
cansado
Don’t beat yourself up. I can’t speak to whether this specific instance was or wasn’t flirting, but I can say (as Not a “horse person”) that sheath cleaning is a common discourse topic for horse people. They’re a type, and they’re weird, and I married one.
SledgeRipley
I don't think I've ever met anyone who was interested in me. I suspect I give off 'weird uncle' vibes.
homerinchinatown
My first thought was 'I know they're not flirting with me because nobody ever does', so that make it easier to figure out
spiderjohn36
I attended college for a year with this young lady who apparently had a big crush on me. She would always sit near me, make conversation, etc (we had two or three classes together). We once went out with a group of our friends, and she told my friends "I like your friend" when I was in the bathroom, they told me, and I STILL didn't make a move until it was too late. Major learning experience.
haggerton
This framing perpetuates the problem. The bigger learning experience is for her, not for you, as she was the one totally into you.
Ladies, make the first move if you like someone.
Corrodias
I don't understand what you mean. Could you elaborate? You don't think spiderjohn36 should have learned something? You think it's harmful even to consider it?
GoSibi
Is hw suppose to learn mind-reading?
kahlas
Same thing here. She would even put her hand on the top of the middle of my thigh frequently when talking to me. I at first thought that meant she liked me even though I was 34 and she was 19. Then a 23 year old girl did the same thing and I switched to thinking it was just a younger generation culture thing. During summer semester she asked to come over and study trig. I didn't realise she was into me until she essentially said she wanted to fuck directly.
LateNightBunnyParty
There were DEFINITELY a non-zero number of interested boys I would have slept with if they would have just taken the goddamn obvious-ass hints I was throwing at them. Still really flummoxed over a couple of them. And before anyone starts with "wHy CoUlDn'T yOu JuSt bE sTrAiGhTfOrWaRd?" Listen, expected gender norms in the Southern Baptist states in the 90s were still pretty rigid. I couldn't have told the pretty grunge boys I wanted to be railed in the parking lot, lest I be labeled a whore.
livingonagiantfireball
I see girl at bar look at me with a big smile, i look away or to the ground, because im too shy to approach them, even if i knew she wants to bang me, i couldn't approach her. I am physically incapable, been trying for over 25 year as an adult, i cant find the courage, being autistic and adhd doesnt help.
badcode4o4
thought it was only me that did that
crazyspelling
I've had it all. "I'm too tired to drive the ten minutes home, can I sleep with you in your hotel room?" Made a move, not what she meant. "I'm not wearing panties." Tell her to prove it. "Not like that, it's laundry day." Woman flew 3,000 miles specifically to bone me, I make a move, "I thought I was ready for this but I'm not over my ex." "I really like you." Ask her out, ghosted. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, but I've missed 100% of the shots I did take.
crazyspelling
The ONLY relationships I've had that made it more than 3 dates were the ones with the women who made the first move.
DustyBibbles
Yup. Me as well. I've always been the "back up friend" the one who is called when they go through relationship problems, but friend zoned when single.
crazyspelling
I don't even mind being backup as long as I'm not carrying a torch for her and there's some sort of quid pro quo. The usual arrangement has been "I'll be your backup boyfriend if you agree to be my +1 at couples' events and make me look good." I went to a wedding that two of my fake gfs were both at, and they spent all night competing with each other for my attention, which was fucking surreal because neither of them wanted to upgrade to gf anyway. Just competitive I guess.
DustyBibbles
I get that.
I've always been the gay friend who isn't actually gay but women feel safe with me so I'm the one they can fall back on but its stated up top that there is no romantic feelings whatsoever.
At least thats how it used to be. Women just look past me now. I've been single for the last 10 years.
crazyspelling
Oh yeah, I haven been in a relationship in 12 years, or dated in 10. I vehemently resist all efforts of a set up, too, and I've never touched a dating app. It turns out that I really, really like doing whatever I want, whenever I want.