mrnosey

77875 pts ยท November 11, 2016


Three flies are stuck in a jar. Two female flies and one male fly. For some reason the female flies have it in their heads that the male knows how to get out. The first female fly buzzes over the the male and asks him how to get out of the jar. "Fuck me and I'll tell you." She's desperate to get out, so she fucks him. "What you need to do is, start flying around the top to get some speed, dive toward the bottom and pull up to the top at the last second and you'll [*snap] pop right out." So she does exactly as he says. Right as she pulls up toward the top [*smack your hand] SPLAT! She hits the lid and falls down dead. So the second female fly, because flies are dumb, goes over the the male fly and asks him the same thing, how to get out of the jar. "Fuck me and I'll tell you." She too is desperate to get out, so she fucks him. "What you need to do is, start flying around the top to get some speed, dive toward the bottom and pull up to the top at the last second and you'll [*snap] pop right out." So she also does exactly as he says. Right as she pulls up toward the top [*smack your hand] SPLAT! She hits the lid and falls down dead. So now this male fly is in a jar with two dead female flies, and he wants out. So he flies around the top to get some speed, dives toward the bottom, pulls up at the last second, and [*snap] pops right out. ...pm me how he gets out...

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Can I get this for Nor Cal?

3 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

That's a hungry cock

3 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Pick a quote... a quote that describe your mindset that day.. make a meme

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm against selfies..but here for self help. I'll be the only upvote, just stay clean.. if you can't, that's OK we can get them the next day

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Not Ukraine, mykraine

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

We are supposed to double tap right

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

It's shrinkage!!! *says every guy*

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wonder where he's been putin his penis...

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

That's what she said

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Jinkies, we will have to investigate further. Let's go split up. I'll take Velma and we will come back tomorrow

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Now my discharge is even more annoying

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

That and the helping hand joke

4 years ago | Likes 85 Dislikes 1

Don't hate on Winnie the Shit

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Ahhhh a fellow millennials.....it's time for a cancer screening

4 years ago | Likes 60 Dislikes 2

Dad?!?! Are you back from the store

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

On 02/22/22 late on this Tuesday I see two tig ol biddies

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

I just get so depressed I don't leave my bed hahaha.... haha...ha..

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

That's worse than a nekkid grandma

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I feel like its both

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Or he L.A. Riots and the O.J. Trial really stressed Magneto

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Howdy fellow San Bernardino-ite? Not sure I said that right

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It is what it is

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

We all need people, some more than others

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

I'll let you know when my 30 year old ass makes it to high school

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Yea, sure

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I'm lost, but sure?

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Thank...you?

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0