I have had co-workers more useless than Larry. I say, let him be on the team!
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If this leads to a drastic drop in the sale of truck nuts, that's a net benefit for the world.
605
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24227
Pawns learning that they are docile bodies viewed as expendable by major pieces could lead to revolution.
32
5
624
See, when people come up with conspiracy theories, are they theorising what *is* or what *could* be?
34
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1512
We need to focus on the lives affected by horny jail and how they re-integrate into their… still horny, but less blatantly so, communities.
36
9
1203
The sheer number of these guys who claim they love reading philosophy of war doesn't actually seem to line up with any of their actions.
39
8
515
The American 250th birthday energy, sadly.
1144
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I'm in this picture and have accepted it.
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9
1606
You want to go hard, people will go in some unexpected directions, invent their own calendar, streets teeming with masterless dogs, outlaw religion.
25
3
472
I hear automobile-dragon relationships prove more successful.
33
14
1350
Know thyself.
20
4
881
Men should know what women want, and the easiest way is for us to tell them.
17
9
646
I want this woman as my therapist. Yes, I'll pay for out of network.
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I regret missing The Brier this year on the Rock. The commentary alone would have been epic.
49
3
1332
My money is on post-apocalyptic society in which I am Purina predator chow, but hopes vary.
36
12
991
I believe in spaying and neutering animals, but if there's a cat that will make coffee, for the love of God, breed it.
577
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23268
Signage that most pedestrians in Boston need, especially while jaywalking.
15
5
573
Sounds like a handy e-mail macro!
429
17
18382
Do what you need do to pay off those student loans, Fido.
30
0
1425
Standard New England road signage.
33
10
963
Late-stage capitalism giveth and late-stage capitalism taketh away, blessed be the Name of Mammon.
257
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13724
Effective communication between generations comes with a price.
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Pretty much the gist of my objection, too.
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5
417
All men die. All women, too. The question is how many were told that their impending death was a matter of mindset and to get more exercise.
20
18
1214
I know where a woman's place is. It's where she decided to be.
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22605
A little joy found for small travellers in Stockholm Arlanda.
11
1
463
That's either an extremely confusing plating or an example of a chicken evolving into a crustacean.
16
8
742
No, wait, I can work with this.
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5
1524
Some days, I feel like I don't have a lot going for me… but I'll always have this.
485
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23670
I do not know if Frank Herbert had hip dysplasia.
607
33
27630
Out of the darkness, light. Out of the Alko, well…
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31915
Never known a single software engineer that could defeat this trap.
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This recently discovered scroll contains a life lesson for us all.
34
11
1174
Schadenfreude: uncountable noun. Malicious enjoyment derived from observing someone else's misfortune.
31
3
378
"Tis better to have loved and lost. Than to have never loved at all." — Tennyson, in Memoriam A.H.H., Canto XXVII Lord Tennyson never experienced a deep-fried McDonald's apple pie, tyvm.
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The Parent Trap is a family-friendly rom com for everyone but the dogs. How can you forget the dog?
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10
1457
To all my friends who are docs, never forget that asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness or incompetence.
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5
1085
I suppose if I've been just invaded, I might troll every way I can. Or they thought the Romans and Spaniards were both incredibly slow learners. Or, you know… both!
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7
1170
They're all good dogs, Brent.
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6
829
Occasionally, your heroes are worth the handshake.
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And this is probably just as offensive to many of his great-grandfather's enemies as the siege of Petersburg.
974
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Yes, both sides in this election are feeling a great deal.
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Missing a zero on your packet of edibles… you're in for it.
43
5
1406
Take note, oligarchs.
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Of course, differentiating it from the entire bucket she's collected of similarly identified balls might be a problem.
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Chaotic neutrality comes in many forms.
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13
2089
True understanding of the needs of hurricane victims!
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29373
This ignores the possibility of a Baja Singularity.
27
9
724
Based on some casinos, I'm only assuming it's the first *dog*.
21
1
864
"No legacy is so rich as honesty." — Wm. Shakespeare, "All's Well That Ends Well" III.v.13
784
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Before my own wedding, I too was more intemperate in my love than those pampered animals that rage in savage sensuality… but men who appreciate this are now much more common.
17
9
975
Does not apply to those of you born before about 1993.
8
6
383
The lingering question, however, has yet to reach scientific consensus… is a toaster Strudel a sandwich?
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15
1338
Parents, never forget to tell your children the important things.
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24
835
Sometimes, you want to watch true love. Sometimes, you just want to watch stand-up comedy. Sometimes, you want both.
11
1
753
I promise that the selfie I want with a unicorn is going to really blow up Insta!
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Canadian energy drinks are restricted in caffeine content, I guess?
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Thanks for being a good bro to your… sis, uncle!
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