whiskeyguy007
10835
15665
83
Pastry folding 101
Jan 17, 2014 4:38 PM
whiskeyguy007
10835
15665
83
babyinthecorner
It's like origami for my mouth...
goodjobmyfellowman
All I see is a maxipad in that first one...
BigDickMystic
Can we just skip to the part where i eat them?
Dan2525
Edible Origami.
SingingMeAndCthulioDownByRlyehFhtagn
Edigami?
Rinarin
What kind of witchcraft is this?!
Blackmagic666
L0L!
KZDM
Ha ha! That's just ridiculous ^^
icantmakeeverybodyhappyiamnotataco
now, THIS, this is porn.
MADFOX
The first one looked like a pad. but a delicious pad
spaceflorida
Everyone, I am drunk
GBMaker
Feel no pain, brotha...
AnthonyHelverson
Yo this ish looks straight outta Redwall Abbey
Bearacuda
We must protect the Dibbuns from their terrible dental hygiene!!!
gjb2107
What's the filling in the first one? I'm just very curious.
BigMamaBunny
Yummers! Thank you!
FranceAndArabia
I like the strawberry swastica.
Megeyra
This is the first thing i favorited on imgur :o
ULTRAJOE
me too ^_^
HangedNotHung
God bless you. I've needed this!!
KraftDurchKoelsch
101? This is clearly at least 305.
ggsbassist
Miami in the house!!! No but seriously. None of the cuban pastelerías make things that complicated down here. So no 305, 407 maybe.
Kirractavas
Source with recipe, if anyone's still interested: http://korenainthekitchen.com/2012/05/20/sourdough-danish-pastries/
SamuraiFoxes
All that craime fraiche. UHHHHHNGGGG.
TornadoxAllie
Recipe?
Bankox
that
Chuislean
Nailed it:
SailorVSays
Mmmm... Food porn.
creatingusernamesgivesmeanxiety
One day, I will want to make pastries. I will search imgur for hours trying to find some post that I know I saw one time that explains (1)
creatingusernamesgivesmeanxiety
how to fold them. The search will be fruitless. There will be tears. And then, I will remember Google.
HarryPotterGeek
Press 0.
creatingusernamesgivesmeanxiety
Do you know how many times a day I press 0?
HarryPotterGeek
Well, that's your problem. :) Make it mean something, man. Or do what I do- I have a whole section called "food" in my bookmarks.
creatingusernamesgivesmeanxiety
Or, you know, google...
Kirractavas
Ha. For future ref: http://korenainthekitchen.com/2012/05/20/sourdough-danish-pastries/
bibbidybobiddyboo
Thank you mystery helper from the past!
Kirractavas
O.o Two years ago?!? Hahaha well no problem :) I always thought that was a good recipe...
moraghmackay
Instructions unclear. Got dick stuck in fan.
DeusExMachoMan
Instructions unclear, made swan.
Necronox
Pictures! Cuz that would be impressive!
JayKaySC
thank you for making my day
lolface
Stop looking at me, Swan!
LetsSeeHowThisGoes
*swastika
Putts1
*swanstika
DeusExMachoMan
SIEG HONK HONK HONK
bigdinger81
That escalated quickly!
Ihatemakingusernames2991
I think I'd be pretty ok with that outcome, but what do I know....I'm a "normal."
tommyvercetti
Instructions unclear, made penis
Gizzie
ORIGAMI
clairdelune
+1 Deus Ex
NabooThatsWho
That just happened.
Omgmoar
Instructions unclear, made swans http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ny8mvgisGV8
ShenanigansForHireExperiencedBeerTasterAndCraicFacilitator
Dat username do..
DeusExMachoMan
Thanks, it's my one gift to this world.
chowmaster
is that to go?
hystericant
Really? I got this instead... http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/241/c/1/a_goose__by_demonicmarshmallow-d2xjs0v.gif
DeusExMachoMan
I can hear him saying it in my head, and I'm laughing like an idiot.
hystericant
Yeah, it's my favorite thing to do at any dinner table with a napkin. Glad it gave ya the funnies :)
DeusExMachoMan
"IT'S A GOOSE."
djezoh
*black swan
Vanir112
*live swan
WhereLBJsNutsHang
BE CAREFUL MAN
1muricaplz
LIVE SWAN OR DIE
pabstjewribbon
Look man, live swans are some real bitches.
1muricaplz
*Female collies are real bitches.
ISarabi
*LIVE SWAN OR DIE HARD
Efreeti
*crane
LoganHendrickson
Bawk Bawk.....
wookielips
*Death Star
alphadudel
Instructions unclear, made swastika...
8bitin4k
Spit all over phone
jrau18
Pics please
BurntRamen
Perfect for your Buddhist friends. http://www.buddhistbliss.org.au/images/swastika.jpg
Stagnation
Thank you for pointing out this little known, never-talked-about secret knowledge.
PettyThiefLout
No, that's pretty clear.
msbd
Strawberry swastika really looks tasty
wheezyfinn
This was a big thing in Sweden last Christmas and they had to make "politically correct" Christmas pastries. 1/2
loumustnot
Reminds me of Denmark, when they were making "jødekager" in the morning show on TV. The interviewer had to ask the cameraman if it was (1/2)
loumustnot
(2/2) okay to call them "jødekager" (Jewish cookies) in the show or if they had to find anoter word for it. Damn.
MostIndeedlySo
It was a big thing when Swedish media reported that the Finnish pastries looked like swastikas. And we Finns were like: "You crazy, Swedes!"
wheezyfinn
Yes I know, olenhan mie suomalainen.
yougotyourchocolateinmypeanutbutter
Why is there no 2/2? I'm too lazy to google it.
wheezyfinn
Sorry, I'll post it. I posted it but forgot to put the 2/2 sign.
themasterzulf
WHERE IS IT MAN
wheezyfinn
I replied to my own comment.
ElVinoDidFlow
http://tundratabloids.com/2013/11/swedish-state-radio-in-a-lather-over-traditional-finnish-shaped-christmas-star-pastries.html
heatherfab
Were you listening to "Die Eier Von Satan" while you folded?
parabola
And no eggs.
heatherfab
Keine Eier!!!
afistfulofchickens
My gluten bone is crying.
mutney
Rice flour is delicious :)
sleete
At least you have chickens.
DrArtemis117
Good to know I'm not the only one. All the food posts make me depressed :(
mariella
I'm gluten free as well, we have great products in Finland! I just baked some flaky pastries. :)
Granolaclusters
As if I didn't already think Finland was perfect enough you have to throw pastries that I can eat at me. That's it, I'm coming over there.
mariella
Plus our McDonalds has gluten free hamburgers, some pizzerias have gl-free pizzas and some stores have gl-free beer! ;)
Granolaclusters
We have some gluten-free stuff, but not in a lot of restaurants. If it's fast food I'm usually stuck with a depressing salad.
mariella
I today encountered for the first time a Finnish restaurant menu that didn't mark the gl-free products. But yeah, Subway only has salads.
jaribo2
It's a bit more difficult to make flaky pastries, but there are gluten free flours that you could make these with. (1/2)
jaribo2
Check high end grocery stores. They often have gluten free sections.
lampwork
TIL walmart is a "high end grocery store"... tmyk
thegr8rambino
whats with all this gluten free stuff?
Sandpanda
I'm on a low carb diet right now. This makes me so hungry.
ishouldbestyding
mine too :'( I hate this...
TornadoxAllie
Other gluten free people! Heeeey! =p
hardytardigrade
Instructions unclear, re-read instructions
Kickingbabykittens
This fucking rebel.
rawrimscarykoala
Instructions unclear. Fucked a pie.
Ivegotadiddlybunchofcoconuts
Don't lie, you knew exactly what you were doing.
chau8238
Goddammit, that's all people remember about me, you have sex with ONE PIE!
piefail
He did. He did rape me... [stares blankly into space]
skch
pie fucker
ForTheLoveOfTalosShutUpAndLetsGetThisOverWith
I just laughed so hard I cried. I don't know why I found your comment so funny, but thank you. (Now my family is staring at me...)
guzzball
Is it a cream pie?
PapaBearLovesDaniBoo
It is now
SweetBrotatoePie
SweetBrotatoePie here interested in the fact of whether you are a female or not ;)
imwithstoopid13
waffle911
ǝᴉd ɐ ʞɔnɟ ʇouuɐɔ noʎ
waffle911
Sorry, my keyboard was upside-down.
completelyunfiltered
ThePaleTexan
You and me both brother.
konfetti
If i may refer you to this post /a/udg0f
5T4RSCR34M
Just tell your mother that you and your dad ate it...
TubbzMcgee
Don't use a blueberry pie unless you want a purple dick...I swear I'm not speaking from experience.
beautifulwatermelown
Watch out for hot pies too! Blueberry pie can trick you and be incredibly hot in the centre.
joemoedee
Purple dick or blue balls? Sometimes, decisions must be made.
Ivegotadiddlybunchofcoconuts
What if your dick's already purple though?
TubbzMcgee
Well then I guess stick...stick your dick in it.
ChristyWeavile
You... might wanna get that checked.
Kieralynh
Step 1: learn how to thaw a sheet of puff pastry without breaking that shit.
YoMTVRapz
what...how do you even
notsophi
SERIOUSLY. I'M NOT A FUCKING WIZARD.
graehall
Hah. I sounded like a kid when I lolled at this :(
borrowedmuffin
I didn't know people had this problem. o.o I just let it rest in the box on the counter until it's thawed enough to bend easily...
JaneSnow
See Alton Brown's episode of Good Eats on the topic. It will change your life. As a matter of fact, watch them all.
DatAssterisk
That man is my God
KelemvorDoomguide
Good Eats Reloaded is out now, it's on the cooking channel and online.
BorderlineBoozehound
Thaw it before unfolding. This is an issue? HOW DO YOU BEEF WELLINGTON WITHOUT IT?! This is a basic necessity for life!
isildur
For that matter, how *does* one beef a Wellington? (Inquiring Bonapartists wish to know.)
BorderlineBoozehound
I said nothing about "beefing a wellington," but basically it's a beef tenderloin smeared in seasonings and wrapped in puff pastry.
isildur
Sorry;that was my attempt at humor, trying to play off the fact you said "how do you beef wellington" instead of "how do you *make* beef w."
trexasaur
You might need homemade puff pastry for this stuff.
3or4GalacticSlothessayhi
recipe or imposible
acertainjenesaisquoi
A) make it yourself, or B) Let it defrost in the fridge, rather than on the counter, thus slowing down the process.
BigMamaBunny
Let me know if your figure that shit out, sug. Because I sure as hell haven't
melissann
Make it yo self!
SoTxBob
Thaw? OMG.. how about make from ingredients ?
mechanimated
It's actually pretty easy. Stick that shit in the fridge for like an hour or so, and flour the surface + your hands before unrolling.
curryalldaycurryallnight
Step 2: Profit
Lasmodoe
Step 0: Be attractive
Lluminair
Everybody always forgets this step.
Timpani
On top of any flat warm surface or hold it between your palms for a few minutes. I thaw them on top of my espresso machine.
Minty737
Buy it fresh, take one peice out, leave it on bench flat until FULLY thawed. Refreezing makes it brittle.
pushyourluck
I actually use Pillsbury crescent roll dough, smush together the perforated places where you're supposed to tear it apart, and BOOM!
CryloRen
That's how I make my ghetto hot pockets. Which are actually classier than regular hot pockets.
theysaidtherewouldbecats
I'm going to need a recipe...
CryloRen
Get a can of crescent roll dough. Pinch the perforated edges of two crescents to turn them into a rectangle. Roll up a slice of deli meat,
CryloRen
add some cheese and place it on one side of the rectangle. Fold in half, pinch edges shut. Mix melted butter and garlic powder, brush it on.
kissmygrits
i'd say most things are classier than regular hot pockets. but +1 to you, good sir or madam
DefinitelyNotAShark
Step 1: make it yourself, problem solved.
kissmygrits
have you ever tried to make this shit?!
DefinitelyNotAShark
yeah, i'm currently making a batch actually. i have honestly made breads that had a higher fail-rate.
obviouslythisisntmyrealnamewhatwereyouthinking
i hear this shit is so hard to make. Even on cooking shows the chefs are like "just buy it".
DefinitelyNotAShark
my mom (a pro) told me the same thing. but i made it a few times (and right now) and really, it's no issue at all.
funkmasterchin
as a chef, seriously just buy it, I've made it once, ONCE