DumpingSh1tandBeingKind2
37842
1354
85
Oct 16, 2024 7:19 PM
DumpingSh1tandBeingKind2
37842
1354
85
OliverOtter
As FEMA has said many, many times, you can expect to be on your own for 96 hours after any major disaster. It's very unlikely they can get to you before that, and if you're smart you're prepared to last 96 hours without external help. Food, water, essential medicines, first aid supplies and the knowledge to use them, weather-appropriate emergency shelter, and a means of self defense. If you're prepping too far beyond that, it's your money so waste it if you want to.
EverNotRelevant
To paraphrase John Scalzi, in their fantasy they were asked to kill, while in reality they were asked to be kind.
OrangeandBrew732
This is the same mentality of person who was doomsday prepping for Y2K. They just want to live out their fantasy.
geoffreyfourmyle
evilspock
I had a co-worker who flipped his gourd post 9/11 and moved into the mountains, and all I heard about fir the next year or so from him was what a complete dick the "mule guy" was and how he overcharges and how *crazy* we all were to stay where the terrorists could get us. Haven't heard from him for years, I should ask around and see if he finally got eaten by a bear...
virence
Sounds like he was paying the mule guy's asshole tax.
evilspock
Mule guy had a natrual monopoly on "carry heavy shit 5 miles to your poorly chosen panic offgrid cave". Couple that with the asshole tax and yeah it added up.
SnakesInBowties
"It's not the cough that carries you off. It's the coffin they carry you off in."
PlaceHolderTitle
SnakesInBowties
LOL, perfect!
KyleAldrete
i actually mildly disagree with this. yes its accurate, but a lot of doomsday preppers are prepping to become the reason its a dystopia in the first place. the roving bands of raiders are THEM. the ones that stockpiled guns and learned how to break into a house or intimidate other survivors into giving them all their stuff, its all them. they are not preparing to survive, they are preparing to kill every person around them and steal THEIR resources. even congressmen have said they would.
barnwolf
They are just doing what is needed to protect their kids and/or dog. /s
ArkoneAxon
There's a saying. "If I have a gun and you have the food, I'm the one who's going to be eating."
I always tell people who say such things, "Thank you for letting everyone know in advance that, the moment we have a survival situation, we should immediately kill you before you can turn on us."
Paireon
Most peeps in the comments pretty much agree with you.
xj4low
2 weeks ago was the first time I have ever caught COVID. I still have a dry cough. Thanks to all the vaccinations I got, it lasted 3 days. That is what listening to smarter people gets you. Years without being sick during a global pandemic missing the worst of it.
ArkoneAxon
Plus, the really deadly viruses tend to mutate into less harmful forms fairly quickly - killing your host isn't very conducive to long term success. Between that, the vaccinations, and the steroidal treatments that proved effective against Covid-induced pneumonia, Covid is far less of a threat than it was four years ago.
xj4low
I'm going to be flying out of state for a new job training and will be wearing a mask while on the plane. Don't want to get the flu while new on the job.
ArkoneAxon
I STILL wear a mask when I go to the supermarket and such, when I'm sick. It's simple courtesy.
HEXtheDark
In one story you are the hero. In the other, you aren't...
Lurker55684
Nobody survives alone, community building is more important than prepping. That said, definitely take care of yourself where you can. A little preparation goes a long way.
ArkoneAxon
My plans for such situations involve heavy cooperation with my neighbors - and the work I've put into gardening and such will give me plenty to contribute to the communal good.
ShimmerinStrider
Dude, I've seen people try to talk about community prepping for hurricanes and when I mentioned FEMA they exploded.
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Yup, thats why we've built relationships with our neighbors. They have a pond filled with trout. We have apple trees and blackberries and know how to turn it into booze.
ActualSpaghetti
Got that mutilated monkey meat too?
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Nah, just Grease Monkey
wowzilla1
Ok not pepper but I do have plenty of food freeze dried ,bottled water ,emergency med kit,other emergency supplies in case of a disaster ie floods , tornadoes etc it pays to be prepared it came in handy when Helene and water was non existent locally
PlaceHolderTitle
Guys remember when Texas lost power and the guy told the story (never actually sure if it's true but still funny) of his survivalist brother that got stuck with no power
Paireon
What a glorious username this man has.
corig123
just rewatched The Expanse, and at some point on Earth shtf and Amos and Clarissa run into a prepper who may have got all the stuff he needed for a while, but didn't have a single friend to watch his back, so it still went poorly for him.
hfctom
If the "Walking Dead" series taught me anything it's that after about a month with these nutjobs I'd just drive away in my tank. I'm not sure what happens after about halfway through the first season because fuck those people.
CallMeMcGyver
I was siding with the zombies by the second season…
IainG101
Do I know how to hunt, fish and live in the woods? Yes (thanks to growing up in the countryside and joining the cadets, as well as just finding it interesting). Is that Plan A? Fuck no; that's down at Plan D at least; good shelter is a huge starting point. And yes, I DID listen to scientists and wear a mask, and get all my jabs. I wouldn't actually trust anyone not doing those things to survive long enough to catch the tetanus they didn't get immunised for and die of that.
RottedOnion
Move all the peppers out to Montana and cut off all road access and power. Let them live their fantasy away from civilization.
Idonotkillpeoplethatismyleastfavoritethingtodo
I know people like this and they would drink their own piss, suffocate and die in a pool of puke within the first 24h of surviving alone in nature. Pathetic fucking losers all of them.
MightyIink
They didn't even buy the beans, they bought toilet paper...
TheEvenPrez
It's why the Cybertruck and "vengeance" truck sell. They aren't practical by any means, but help facilitate the fantasy of being a survivalist.
PlaceHolderTitle
How does a cybertruck do that? In any doomsday scenario the electrical grid would fail so you won't be able to recharge it.
TheEvenPrez
See, your mistake was thinking they thought beyond their daydreams.
In the event of actual societal collapse the type of person who would buy one isn't going to survive. They aren't likely to rejoin a community to share skills and resources, learn fundamental survival techniques like treating wounds or water, or do anything productive. They think the end is Mad Max, not Children of Men.
This is essentially a $100k daydream assistance device.
rshini
now reminded of some guy's idiot prepper brother having a freak out due to power outtage and his electric can opener didn't work, the Prepper never considered having a manual can opener (or you know, using a knife like people did before it was invented)
Crowlands
I honestly believe about 50+% of these types of people really just want an excuse to shoot a starving black kid who wanted nothing more than a can of beans.
Like, that's it. They jack off to thoughts of a world where they won't have consequences, and will have a flimsy excuse, to murder people, especially minorities.
relsky
The show "doomsday preppers" was always HYSTERICAL to me because each of those idiots had such a hyper-specific fixation. I think one guy had all the things he needed to breathe in some kind of airborne gas attack, but had no plan for water... other people had stored food but no plans/knowledge for growing more.
LtRooney
There's an excellent post-apocalyptic novel called The Postman, these guys are the villains both during and after the apocalypse.
Baja2276
I feel like most of these assholes watched “Red Dawn” too many times when they were kids in the 80’s.
fartharder
WOLVERINES!
bikergeek6249
In GTA:Vice City there's an in-game radio commercial for Ammu-Nation, the in-game gun store, that refers to Red Dawn as a "documentary". That will never not be hilarious.
ArkoneAxon
"The revolution is a-coming, ya hear!"
dogboybastard
All the ones I know would not be able to surive on fishing, hunting, and living in the woods. They're dreaming of a pure fantasy where they get to randomly murder people without consequences and no one shoots back at them.
altxatu
One infection and they’d be done for. One medical problem and they’d be buttfucked. All they are is a supply depot for better people.
InfocalypseRising
I know a guy who plays at this sort of thing - like he has a month or so's worth of canned food set aside and thinks he's gonna be the local wasteland warlord. I've also seen him shoot and he can't hit *shit*.
Mechwarrior719
Those guys tend to get themselves taken out in early stages of actual unrest. You just paint a target on your back.
The smart ones stock up and prepare but don’t make a show or personality of it.
GratuaCuun
If they don't shoot themselves cleaning the god damn weapon because they don't practice basic gun safety...
dunkum09
yea I think saying they are "ready" for any kind of scenario is giving most of them far too much credit.
Feralkyn
For me "survival" would just be "oh, I live where all the first caveman settlements were found and there's still natural springs of fresh water and rivers of fish" so it's less "murder and bands of assholes" and more "maybe just don't break my leg."
I don't get the ones who obsess over guns etc. when the reality is knowing how to layer clothing for heat or treat water or use stars for navigation. Wilderness living can be such a beautiful concept but I guarantee you these guys can't make a fire
Paireon
WYM they can't make a fire? You just need to pour gasoline on some wood and use your Confederate flag zippo and WHOOSH!
(/s in case I wasn't obvious enough)
Hadestown24
Also the woods can support a limited amount of people. Apocalypse means there would be no restrictions on hunting and fishing so the food sources would completely be stripped
NebulousToucan
There are plenty of nuts like that. And then there are some that are basically like, I just want to have enough stuff in to last through a hurricane or other natural disaster
The gunslinger cosplayers are fuckin annoying as shit
Showing off get-home bags with a long gun, short gun, 18lbs of ammo, 17 types of gunshot medical equipment, and like 1 protein bar 😂
fartharder
"I'll be eating my neighbor's ass"
PostalHeathen
After a few weeks of playing raider, a local posse would riddle them with bullets and hang their body from a streetlight as an example. People are cooperative by nature, and wouldn't take long to organize communities for mutual protection and survival.
BlindGardener
I hate that society has forced me to become greedy to survive. I really hate it. Do you know how much it fucking hurts having to be suspicious of people asking me for help? I just want to help them. And I can’t. Because if I do they’ll drag me down since i’m barely floating myself.
LootenetDan
Be generous to yourself first. When you can do that and have resources to share, be generous to others, too. Then you don't need to worry about if you should be suspicious or if you might drown. It's not greedy. It's literally self-care, and it's a much better system than burning yourself out trying to fix others until you yourself need fixing
pgdave
That's not you being greedy - that's you recognizing that you have necessary boundaries to protect yourself. One of the ways you help your community is by being able to keep yourself afloat without needing to rely directly on help - it means your community can triage better and help those in more need.
Hevach
If you really want to be ready for a collapse you need diverse skills. Some basic car maintenance (fluid changes and brakes will limp a car along for years and is reasonably simple to learn on all but the most anti-repair cars). Gardening is simple and cheap. Catching and cleaning fish or small animals is gross but easy to learn, and most areas have animals that are edible and free to take any time of year to practice on.
photodepiction
Realistically you will run out of usable, non perished, fuel long before you need to change the oil or brake pads.
Hevach
No matter how badly countries collapse they never completely stop. The constituent states of Yugoslavia, which underwent one of the most complete collapses in the era of 24/7 global news networks. There are a great many surreal images of stores still operating with parts of the building destroyed, people carrying shipping bags through ruined streets, and long lines at a gas truck hooked directly to the last working pump at a gas station.
Hevach
If you look at the history of government collapses working class communities fair surprisingly well with a combination of personal skills and controlled looting. Survivalists have often ended up easy prey for upstart cartels looking for free stuff.
ShimmerinStrider
If you want to see nutty beyond the pale, check out r/preppers.
Couchwarrior1337
That actually got me to go check it and it's at least 70% people like this going "don't be an idiot, here's how to actually prepare for disasters." I mean there's definitely SOME paranoid people who need fresh air, but they're the minority there. I'm not building a bunker, but they did convince me to setup basic medical supplies for trips and to actually learn how to use certain tools.
KRicci
I like to look at house listings in Alaska on Zillow and bet if the sellers are preppers
Rips4w
interestingmonster
Perfectct
ShimmerinStrider
And you're better for it.
Rips4w
I have to keep my blood pressure down, somehow.
OmegaYeti
They all want to 'bug out' to some remote mountain top, when the best place to outlast an event is at home, with all your supplies.
InHarmsWay
Just like World War Z
skwint
I also want to bug out to a remote mountain top ... I just don't intend to fabricate an excuse ...
SilverFoxChaser
Just needs wifi.. Only reason I still put up with ya'll.
RoYoMi
Isolated... No mask required.
Cargobiker530
They want to bug out to a remote mountain top with infinite supplies of coffee, fresh dairy products, frozen hamburger patties, and solar HVAC systems. Yet when it rains half an inch somehow biking to work is inconvenient and dangerous. 🤔
sadurdaynight
And their idea of "survival" in that scenario is having a moat and barbed wired fence up while they shoot their neighbors every day. It never dawns on them that if they teach their neighbors how to survive, they can end up with a strong community that can grow and expand. When SHTF, we'll need farmers, doctors, etc.. but most importantly we'll need all those folks to be teachers that pass it along.
HitlersArtCritic
Reminds me of this story I heard of a camper who had returned from a camping trip in 2020, where he's being told that he needs to wear a mask and he's just confused as to what's going on. And he just returns to the news that there's a pandemic going on.
MrStealUrMeme
I went on a fishing trip with my dad awhile back. We drove up to Canada and then took a bush plane way north into no man's land. There we stayed for 2 weeks with no access to the outside world, except for an emergency satellite phone. I remember thinking often about how the civilized world could be ending right now, and we'd have no clue.
MrStealUrMeme
Wasn't there a Big Brother season going on in some country and for a few months the pandemic hit, everything was shut down, and because they aren't allowed access to the world outside the house, they had no idea what was going on.
ArkoneAxon
I remember a similar story. It was actually circulated on Imgur. A homesteader wandered into town and became terrified, because he had no idea what was happening and why everyone was wearing masks.
We11thatwasC00L
The "bug out" scenario should be the last resort, like nuclear fallout making your home base uninhabitable. It's an important part of the plan, but it's not supposed to be the main option
GermanSausagesAreTheWurst
If it's a nuclear apocalypse, you don't to be one of the survivors. You want to be at ground zero.
RainierCamino
Nah I wanna stick around. I'm gonna die either way. I want to stick around and see if we recover.
GermanSausagesAreTheWurst
Radiation sickness, amoebic dysentery, nutrient deficiencies. Nah, I'll take the quick way, thanks.
RainierCamino
The quick way? I'm gonna raw dog the wasteland till I can't. The quick way will be via my clapped out glock.
LespritDeLescalier22
Sometimes I feel wandering the wastelands would be better than going to work, honestly.
Hadestown24
Youd say that until you starved to death
Syovere
I dunno, I hear patrolling the wasteland almost makes you wish for nuclear winter.
NecroNikolai13
And you might get to meet Long Dick Johnson!
ActionJohnnie
I heard the wasteland’s are hiring.
iwantthepinkbook
You know, getting blown up means you get to take the rest of the day off, permanently.
SaveitforQueenDoppelpoppolus
they don't collect a pile of guns to be prepared for the apocalypse - they fantasize about the apocalypse so they have an excuse to use the pile of guns.
rshini
they want to be Joe Immortan
FiftyShadesOfTiramisu
Yeah, they suck at being part of a functioning society with a social contract and fantasize about a zombie flick scenario where the rule of law no longer applies. Needless to say these scenarios are bullshit. Humans have always lived in cooperative societies, even back in the Ice Age when our species was prey for cave lions and -bears. The more dangerous the environment, the more important social cohesion and cooperation becomes.
TI99Kitty
Those guys make me think of Jack Black's character in "Mars Attacks!"
You know, the guy who spends all his time playing with his guns, stripping them down and putting them back together while blindfolded. Then the first time he sees action, he ejects the mag and gets disintegrated by a death ray.
farfie
Sometimes I wonder if the strongly cooperative nature of Scandinavian societies is because of the long and harsh winter months.
GermanSausagesAreTheWurst
I've read a lot of post-apocalyptic science fiction, and if something like that does happen, you don't want to be one of the survivors. Illness, infections, nutrient deficiencies etc. So many things that will make your final days a living hell, you want to be among the first to die to avoid all that.
Feralkyn
Ehhh, people survived just fine before modern technology. I'm sure plenty would rebuild without issue. We're pretty good at teamwork.
ZRhymesWithBread
"people survived just fine before modern technology." Well, yes but no, not at all.
Feralkyn
But they did. "People" on the whole, humanity. We didn't develop tech *before* spreading across the world; we did the latter because we'd already managed the former through teamwork, and were thriving.
GermanSausagesAreTheWurst
I'm not here to argue, but you might want to think about that a little deeper. Pre-industrial people were used to living with bad sanitation and poor nutrition. We are not used to it. Much suffering would happen.
Hashbrown123
Yeah, but depending on the situation they could rebuild most things in a few decades as long as there wasn't radiation.
GermanSausagesAreTheWurst
Oh, there will be radiation
Feralkyn
Oh yeah I'm not saying everyone would bounce back immediately. There's a lot we'd lose, like antibiotics, that would lead to some nasty deaths, but I mean by and large we'd get by, and "you want to be one of the first to die" is definitely not how I would see it
ZRhymesWithBread
'People survived just fine...I mean, we'd lose a lot and so many people would die BUT--' ...My guy, what is wrong with you...
Feralkyn
So, humans are evolved not for singular survival, but groups. We don't go in for brute strength but smarts & teamwork, selflessness, etc.
I'm not saying the deaths don't matter, I'm saying humanity on the whole would survive if enough people had survived to begin with, and it's weird to say "the ones who die first would be the lucky ones" in this scenario.
GermanSausagesAreTheWurst
There's a movie i recommend. Very good movie with a soundtrack by Pink Floyd and David Bowie. It's called "When The Wind Blows". If you can find it, you really should watch it.
Feralkyn
OH GOD NO I've heard such depressing things about that D:
mondeca
If your "prepping" involves hoarding guns and ammo, instead of seeds and farm animals, you're not in it for survival. You just want to shoot your neighbors.
Chromentor
pgdave
My prepping (if I ever care enough to actually do it) would mostly involve copious amounts of high-proof alcohol, water filters, salt, powdered spices, hard tack, and some cooking supplies. I have few skills that will be useful in an apocalyptic scenario, but I know how to cook well, I can cook well enough to feed a small band of people food that will keep them alive and not make them sick. Hopefully I can barter that into my survival.
IHaveGreatKittenRecipes
Mine is medical training, including local plants with crappy-but-better-than-nothing medical uses. I can get you to about the early 19th century with no signifcant source of equipment. Find me a pharmacy where shit somehow remained controlled and we're solidly into the 1950's. Like yeah the cancer will probably kill you and good lord do not have a stroke or heart attack, but I can fix that broken leg and help you give birth so the species will carry on.
IainG101
Add a really good knife to that. Having actually skinned a deer, I would NOT want to do that with something sub-par. Cutting things out in the world with a crap blade or even knapped flint is one thing; trying to cut hide from flesh is quite another.
pgdave
oooh, good call - I've never really had to cut hide from flesh, aside from occasionally removing the skin from a pork shoulder. A good set of knives, and a knife sharpener (ideally a diamond stone and the skills to use it, imo), will go a long way.
IainG101
You basically have to slide the blade around under the skin; it's really fiddly and you have very little movement space for your hand.
Feralkyn
I'd allow a hunting rifle... I mean, meat's legit. But yeah if you've not got fire and fishing lines, fuck right off
InDubiousBattle
Also some incredible skills and practice in dressing that game. Otherwise you're gonna die crapping yourself.
Feralkyn
Oh if we're talking SKILLSET then yeah there's a whole slew of things you'd better know
pgdave
You don't actually need *that* much skill - if you did, humans would never have made it out of Africa. Our current food safety is far, far beyond what is necessary for survival, and even then, if you just cook the crap out of it, you'll be okay. Hell, for the most part you'll want to make stews/soups, which means boiling it for long times anyway.
Feralkyn
I'd say we need some skills that are and were passed down from other humans! Like yeah you could just cook meat to shit, but unless you hang & bleed it out first, it's gonna probably go rancid a lot faster. Then there's skinning--if you don't know how to treat leather you get rotten skin instead lol, unless you get really lucky and wind up with rawhide on a hot, dry day.
Fire's another one. If you had a person who didn't know how to make fire or shelter they'd probably not last too lon.
Feralkyn
...or long
InDubiousBattle
That's a fair point. I'm just skeptical of the "hunting for survival" person who hasn't even thought about dressing a kill. It makes it seem like "hunting" is a euphemism. It isn't a dead giveaway, but makes me a bit suspicious. Basic knowledge of how to dress a kill is moving the right direction, though.
brandonblk
to be fair, i wouldnt know how to gut/...peel? a creature in a way so i know whats meat and whats nasty unedables
pgdave
Basic rule of thumb - limbs and chest are good eating, other bones and attached muscles make good soup, and if you don't know how to identify liver/kidneys/etc. then probably just leave the viscera for other animals to feed on.
Feralkyn
It's an odd niche, like you have to know where to cut (basically circles around the extremities, then lines along the undersides of the limbs from the circles to another vertical line cut from throat to anus, then peel all that off). You have to hang it to bleed it out so the meat lasts (meat that's full of blood is not great for that) and then muscle meat and some organs are good.