NotSecretlyATiger
190614
6630
93
Because no one hates lawyers as much as lawyers do.
Your lawyer also identifies as “sick of your shit.”
Can confirm.
Law school is a crazy time, guys.
Probably accurate.
That’s not wrong...
Extremely accurate.
Surprise follow-up gif to that gem
This person knows me.
TheScottishOstrich
The last one left my brain in a pretzel
showmaturepostsandcomments
Sustained.
idontlikeraisins
When I started medicine, one of the first proffesors said: "I see a lot of happy, bright faces. That won't last very long". He was right.
RajaTheBear
First day of law school: "If you find yourself struggling, listen to that. Consider dropping out. The world doesn't need bad lawyers."
Thisbefluff
Where was that? I went to T25 & our profs were pretty encouraging
DiracsDelta
#42 when she texts you, saying she is “sore from last night ;)” I counted 42 images to make this joke... was it worth it? Probably not.
IW42
Well, I appreciate your commitment to the joke.
H1001001001
Could have just counted backwards
djsdkdjsk
You would still have to know how many there are in all. So count even more.
H1001001001
On the app it tells you how many pictures there are
djsdkdjsk
fuck i dont have the app
AceVan
Med schools more like *furious googling*
randomgibberish
I enjoy themed dumps
NotSecretlyATiger
They are what I do best. Glad you like them!
DarkwingDuc
Don't be a lawyer!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs-UEqJ85KE
420supercoolusername69
spacestationnumberfive
Slippin' Jimmy!
TheCobb1
S’all good, man!
HerJewcynessTheDiscoQueen
Winner takes it fucking all!
NeverSplitTheParty
*better call Saul theme plays*
daguq
then ends abruptly in a way that gets me every time.
NeverSplitTheParty
Same- no matter how many times I hear it it catches me off guard
Fejerro
Texas fajita man gets the last laugh. Now the state has to feed him, and apparently he is HUNGRY.
SpaceCowboy2517
As a lawyer, I can confirm 90% of this. That’s really the best it gets. No attorney worth their salt would ever agree with you 100%
tortfeasor
Or they'd say it was "reasonably" amusing, and then purposefully not define the standard of reasonableness.
4troll
#1 is untrue. In medschool its more like "hello my little butterflies, here are 10 phonebooks, mc-quiz starts in 30min. GL"
DeadlyDecider
My wife went to med school and I went to law school at the same time. In general, there was definitely a sense that her faculty wanted 1/
DeadlyDecider
their class to succeed and do well. My law school faculty couldn't give a flying fuck. It's not the difficulty, it's the attitude.
Barkinsons
Also half of you will drop out in the next six months, see you there
davidthegoliath
Not here in Belgium. We have qualification tests before you are even allowed to start. 10% pass, but almost all of them complete the Masters
Barkinsons
We have 25% that start in Switzerland, half of them don't pass the first year. I prefer that the selection has multiple hurdles
somnif
Only thing I found "bad" about the couple law classes I took was the grade was the final. That's it, 1 exam, 100% of your grade. Stressful.
SurlyMilkmaid
That pasta thing is the most CT thing ever
TheComicBookDude
Hard to believe Mel Gibson couldn't afford a better lawyer than his ex-wife.
Hutchy01
My professor in Constitutional law, referred to Gordon Ramsay as a former Prime Minister
thegoodnoches
As an attorney, fuck RAP. What a jumblefuck mess that shit is.
ghostfacevader
DiracsDelta
grandmask20
DiracsDelta
AnthonyJanthonyFell
Hey dat u
TheScotchKraut
So, what exactly did Oatmeal Guy go to jail for?
WhatTheDormouseSaid
rando84
Another guy drank the poison exhibit in evidence to prove it wasn’t dangerous, had a team ready to pump his stomach immediately after the (1
rando84
not guilty verdict. Pretty infamous defense attorney in his day—the lawyer in the Chicago musical was based on him. (2
iLikeHockey
So what do you do, @op?
NotSecretlyATiger
I make macrame butterflies and my partner tunes air guitars, and our budget for our new home is 2.5 million.
drcatwoman
I'm an MD. My first days of med school were more like how law school is described in #1.
rando84
It's pretty bad in law school. The tradition of aggressive professors interrogating their students via the Socratic method is celebrated (1
rando84
, competition is built into everything, & the depressing job situation/oversupply of lawyers looms over everything. Med school seems to (2
rando84
at least do a better job of not graduating large numbers of people who can't find jobs with their degree. (3
drcatwoman
Haha, not in my country it's not.
rando84
Sorry to hear it. In the US, we have a doctor shortage & an extra 9% of gdp going to health care, so my impression is pretty much every (1
Predicto
More like pre-meds taking O-Chem, lol
Wallace0
do US judges still have the mallets?
Cheomesh
Yes. A "gavel".
UnitsToNesquikGuy
Told my boss I saw these and laughed and now he wants a memo on it by 6. Thanks a lot...
NotSecretlyATiger
You’re welcome!
Phobetor42
As fun as making fun of lawyers is, at the end of the day we'd all be fucked without them.
rikm
...yea... and who set that up ?
Phobetor42
We did
HoneNathan
By who?
grklein
By lawyers.
Phobetor42
Law enforcement, the government, eachother, etc...
barnwolf
Without lawyers we'd be ruled by self interested politicians, instead of by self interested businessmen pretending to be politicians.
Phobetor42
Don't forget self interested law enforcement
NotSecretlyATiger
I mean I agree... but I am in fact a lawyer.
TheThingNoNotThatOne
Mozel Tov! Me too! What's the type of idiocy your clients hire you to fix?
Phobetor42
I figured, I just meant in general. Like I said, Lawyer jokes are still funny-and this was a solid dump btw +1 - I was just saying that 1/2
Phobetor42
I've always felt that lawyers get a bad rap.2/2
Darkspire
Ambulance chasers and argumentative pains in the ass in general probably make up most of that.
Phobetor42
Maybe, as for the argumentative pains in the ass; idk if they can use the law to argue their way to victory they kinda deserve the win
KongBjoern
yeah but i can see why, i believe their job description is perhaps the most self-serving one so that dosn't help, and they operate in a-
KongBjoern
- moral grey area when they are obliged to defend people whom obviously did wrong
NotSecretlyATiger
I’m not sure what you mean by self-serving: the core tenet of the profession is to zealously advocate on behalf of the client.
usernamemustbe4lettersorlonger
They forgot about dental school. “Here’s a clip of little shop of horror, marathon man, and hangover. This is what the world thinks of you.”
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
Why won't sharks bite lawyers? 1/2
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
Professional courtesy. 2/2
420supercoolusername69
sumfing
I cut the rule against perpetuities out of my property class because it was just too much. I am going to share that meme just now in class.
JonathanHoag
The wording is awful, but the concept is important. Shouldn't your students know this rule?
sumfing
They know of it. And will use it superficially in some ways. But no, they will not get the details.
Pr0faneTank
I can't wait to hate my life in law school.
tortfeasor
Don't go to law school. Chances are you will be better off doing almost anything else. The legal economy never recovered from the recession.
tortfeasor
https://www.law.com/americanlawyer/2018/09/07/fewer-legal-jobs-for-second-consecutive-month-as-us-economy-continues-growth-streak/
tortfeasor
Declines in employment when many other industries are desperate to hire warm bodies. Get a job, and work at it for three years instead.
Pr0faneTank
I appreciate the concern but this is something I'm pretty determined to do.
tortfeasor
I have friends I went to law school with who were pretty determined too. They're still trying to pay off student loans over a decade later.
Pr0faneTank
Happens. That's the price you pay sometimes. Maybe it happens to me too, but at least I'm finishing what I promised myself I'd do.
nightripper
Your upvote, my good man. *Terms and conditions may apply. Upvote not valid in Nebraska.
JonSnowy
Clickwrap agreement. Classic.
Wolokos
*Except Quebec
bridogz
Some assembly required. Weapons do not actually fire. Prices slightly higher in AK, HI PR and minor outlying islands.
HelloThereGeneralKenobee
**Known to cause cancer in the state of California
magicrhombus
I don't know how everybody in California hasn't died of cancer already. Everything causes cancer there.
toogoodtomiss
Can’t CA just list was DOESNT cause cancer?
Eon380
Nah
N8TheM8
Cancer
Mirilali
I think it would take too long to figure out and write "nothing" down. Then someone would probably research 'nothing' and find that it does.
letsgoriderkick
Nebraska?
LickLickLickMyBalls2
Your right! Fuck that place!
imjustalurkerdontmindme
Hey I'll have you know that only residents of the great state of Nebraska can use the term "fuck that place" in accordance with Nebraska.
blueluck
Very strict upvote law in Nebraska. Also, they have a unicameral legislature, and a progressive income tax.
BrontTheGoodBoy
Not to mention you're not a legal adult in Nebraska until you're 19, as opposed to 18.
blueluck
FrowstyWaffles
We occasionally do a few things right
glitchead
Nebraska.
dougieblacker
Puerto Rico
WellDuh13
Alaska, Hawaii
Dayrest
No. Neither of those. Nebraska.
ManodeDios
I take the LSAT next weekend! Hopefully these jokes will apply to me in a few years!
NotSecretlyATiger
Good luck!!
sumfing
Good luck! These memes give you a head start
RajaTheBear
Good luck! The LSAT is worse than most law school exams, but it's close!!!
Thisbefluff
.... I thought the LSAT was kind of fun. It’s also low risk. Take it again if you don’t like your score
tortfeasor
As a lawyer, don't go to law school. Don't waste your money on a profession with such a terrible job market. Literally do anything else.
ManodeDios
Army will pay for it and I will be a JAG. But now I'm scared! Why do you dislike it?
tortfeasor
Well, getting someone else to pay for it is key. Most people have to go into massive debt to pay it off. So congrats there.
tortfeasor
There are not many jobs for lawyers right now, harder to get jobs that pay well. The industry has been consolidating for years.
tortfeasor
example: https://www.law.com/americanlawyer/2018/09/07/fewer-legal-jobs-for-second-consecutive-month-as-us-economy-continues-growth-streak/
Jiminslostjams
I also want to become a lawyer. How old are you and how long are you going to study? If you don't mind me asking.
tortfeasor
Don't do it. It's not what you think it is. You will be better off doing almost anything else. Doubly so if you need loans to go.
Jiminslostjams
Really? But I don't think you need to take loans if you live in Sweden like me, tho
tortfeasor
Sounds like a sweet (Swede?) deal to me. I wish the US system provided as much help to our scholars. Here, you need a 6 figure loan. :(
Jiminslostjams
Oh nooo :-( How do you get rid of it???
Thisbefluff
Study until the questions feel easy. There are lot of recognizable patterns to them. Also, each point is more potential scholarship $$
Jiminslostjams
Okay, thank you!
Thisbefluff
Also, I preferred powerscores method for logic games. It was a real time saver
Jiminslostjams
Noted?
ManodeDios
28. I have been studying for a few months... want my books?
Jiminslostjams
I'm 15 so I dunno what I could do with them? But, thank you for telling me anyways. I'm sure someone desperately needs them more then me
ManodeDios
All I would suggest is for you is reading anything and everything. Fiction, non-fiction, fantasy, anything! Reading comprehension=life
Jiminslostjams
Good thing I like reading then! You don't know how much this means to me. I'm grateful, thank you.
scnottaken
I don't get #11
MeezerStandardTime
She stepped out of her shoes walking, and the court stenographer documented her words.
MeezerStandardTime
Like if you are wearing flip-flops or boat shoes that are a little too big.
Christopiph
I don’t either was really hoping someone explained
Belmikor
My friend also doesn't get it. Any good ways to explain it?
ZOMGNO
I get it, I just don't find it funny. Her shoe falls off and she comments on it, which is included in the transcript.
GreenYawgmoth
Yeah, same. Feels like there's more images in there that weren't included.
kangdangguychoi
It's a transcript of her trying to ask a question to a witness on the stand. She messed up.
mrpotatoes
Hoping for an answer
bumurutu
Was hoping for an explanation
CrimeBrulee
Ok, I'm a trial lawyer, so let me break this down. I want you to take your fear of public speaking, fear of performance, fear of major (1)
CrimeBrulee
Consequences, and fear of general incompetence, and throw them in a pressure cooker. Now imagine you're on stage in a play, and you're (2)
CrimeBrulee
Reading your lines. You've prepared for literally days. You now everything about the play. But the person you're acting with (3)
CrimeBrulee
Not only doesn't know their lines, but actively refuses to follow your lead if at all possible. Then, during all this, your shoe falls off.
MeezerStandardTime
Oh, yeah, and someone keeps a transcript of it as an official record.
CrimeBrulee
(don't get me wrong, trial is hella fun, but I would have been tempted to just leave the shoe behind if it happened to me)
NotSecretlyATiger
A+ job of explaining the humor/horror of this post. I also would have considered leaving the shoe...