Xalten2
21573
839
10
May 16, 2026 1:43 PM
Xalten2
21573
839
10
norrinraddsboard
Ice? For a burn? This was at school right? Nah, he ded...
ShadeMeadowsArt
Wow!
I felt that!
KingOfTheImgurians
And that little girl's name, Sarah Millican.
AbeFromanSausageKingOfChicago
Insult I’ll never forget:
When Jerry Falwell died and the news media did their mandatory honor parade, Chris Hitchens was on tv and said “if you give him an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox.”
kocehm24
Somewhere, a concerned sunblock bottle sheds a tear.
Sebastopol140
Hootykai
Years back I was in line at the local bank. A local gut with some wealth tried to get in front of her, Blue jeans, appalachian and good sized. She said " get the back of the line John". He did. Then she looks me in the eye and says "give a monkey a little hair and they think they are King Kong".
Hootykai
Look, if I want any shit from you I'll squeeze your head. And. It was great to see you but better when I don.t
nimeton0
MoschopsUK
urusername2
NICE!
[deleted]
[deleted]
Lexgeddon
Pretty sure they're born when the implicit promises made by society don't match up with experience, not by "a girl being mean to him once."
ThisOldCPU
But he was acting like a piece of shit BEFORE she mocked him. Explain.
AmbroseWolfinger
I’m not saying she caused it, I’m saying that’s when he realized it. Sheesh.
ChelVanin
The poster should be a reporter, nailing down the exact ages of the boy and girl for the sake of accuracy in the post.
33Fox
Yeah it's almost like it's made up for social media clicks....
mithiwithi
r/nothingeverhappens
LaffertyDanie1
Jamesstin
Maybe teacher or classmate? Could just be estimates to give the audience [us] a better idea of what the situation was like . It's really not a big deal. Kids talk shit like this all the time and if it's a teenager that wants to be a stand-up comedian then they're especially going to be prone to shit talking.
Freeasabird2015
JFC Who cares, if they don't give 'sauce' those who can't even google are squeaking and whining. And now this, being too accurate? Go touch some grass its the Weekend.
ChelVanin
I really don’t understand what’s so upsetting about my comment. I thought it’d get a chuckle out of people, that’s the only reason I wrote it.
TheEvilPlatypus
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MWQyMnl3Njduc25uNTY0YmRqc3I3cXF0ZWNpODJ5cGlucWtscWJsNCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/11hVniWaqh17Q4/200w.webp
wobblecopterrrr
Noonius
and on top of that his friends are never gonna let it go
LaffertyDanie1
He has to convince his parents to change their last name and move to a different state
kyro
Yeah that joke is going to follow him like a felony
gtotherizzle
apairofpetducks
Oh that's devious!
herrcane
"But he won the Republican primaries-" "I said what I said."
Someshithead241
They are convinced that he won against Biden, so you'll just get a moronic drone about how the election was stolen, and you are going to torture yourself with it
urusername2
You are right, he hasn't!
eastend666
Very nice, but in reality I never want to come within insulting distance of his supporters.
antikytherion
too late, they're everywhere ;-;
kyro
Heckling comedians is almost always picking a fight you have stacked disadvantages on.
They are almost certainly quicker than you. The mic makes them louder than you. The comic likely has something prepared for someone like you, and crowd who paid to see them will almost certainly side with them by default.
But there are exceptions.
rezpawner
Eh. He's got a set of like 10 pre-prepared shitty comebacks, and that's it. He's not quick witted. If he hasn't prepared them beforehand, he's fucked. Also, he can fuck off back to saudi arabia.
MechaNinja
Well, of all the opinions I've everheard about Jimmy Carr, this is certainly one of them. He does re-use several of his combacks, but it works out more like Stone Cold asking "what?" back when he did that. Several of them are catch-phrases that fans are expecting. But he has given props many times for good heckling, and he does come up with new stuff all the time.
ricpaul
When you listen to him on youtue, you're gonna hear some reused phrases, but in my opinion, he can be very quick on his feat. And him getting owned by someone of the audience is rare but fun and I seriously think he can enjoy that too because it makes the show better. As for Saudi: I missed that. Are we also going to boycott every soccerteamplayer that goes to the USA this Summer? Not a both sides argument but a serious question that I ask myself...
BrokenAnimal
This is up there with that gamer girl that got heckled and said "I'm gonna fuck your dad and give him a child he'll actually love."
There is no coming back from either of these.
IrateWolfe
A female friend of mine got a rando saying something really crude while we were playing Destiny, and she just sighed heavily and told the rando "You're such a BOY" with such tired contempt that I burst out laughing, and it's become part of my regular vocabulary
Thegalwiththetie
JaimeLannistersRightHand
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1ZzA3bGQyMGZ6ejdpaHFjZHlyZ3B0YWZiemJ3eDZ2ZGxkcDY2Ym94diZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/cF7QqO5DYdft6/200w.webp
Starlatan
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1OTJiMzFtZDAwYjVxZWcwaW1mamR1aW12OXNpNXJjaXNycDA1cWw3NCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/SQrIdCvhtXZuM/200w.webp
UnprunedSynapses
Delicious
BrokenAnimal
That's the one! Thanks.
Thegalwiththetie
My favorite part is how the receiver of the burn can be heard screaming for just a moment so everyone knows it landed well.