SnPbRosinCore
60193
2654
95
Life is OK!
Now I have the home toilet advantage!
Dec 14, 2020 9:46 PM
SnPbRosinCore
60193
2654
95
Now I have the home toilet advantage!
byohzzrd
IAmCooCooCaChoo
You'll never want to take a shit anywhere else now
PusheenRocks
Happened to me alot due to thyroid
BBQatCirces
If it took you a week to poop, life probably is not as OK as you think it is. See a doctor.
eliasWebMonster
If she’s not eating anything she won’t poop anything either dumbass fat Westerners have no clue what starvings like.
DeleteriousDuck
This fellow creature looks as if it has done something devious. I approve.
zymurgist69
Get a bidet toilet seat, it's a game changer! You will use so much less toilet paper!
XXXSpork
Some people only poop a few times a month. Not me tho, I'm like old faithful
CALAMOSCOPYJANE
You didn't shit for a week? Why are you telling everyone?
Imlucasm
When nature calls in a new place, the throne becomes the true symbol of home ownership. First dump = territorial marker. Comfort unlocked.
SupremeBunster
Quality shit post?
Dracoshroob
You have christened the toilet with your first poop
SoupToasterSE
OP looking at comments: "This is not at all how I saw this going....."
pr3viso
Gotta have her in the kitchen and the dining table. It's a tradition, you know.
Tnightwalk3r
Ximinipot
How......how the fuck don't you shit for a week. That's not normal dude.
StevieTheAussie
Wait, like, your first poop ever? Man there must’ve been some build-up huh?
RedCrif
IBentMyWookie
That’s gotta be at least 40 Courics
SauceCreator
Hot hot hot
coop61gt
Hidy how.
FartyMcDumpstein
IBentMyWookie
IknowWhoYouAre
Bro, i know the feel, when i move in it isnt my home until ive taken a dump, in peace and quiet
Daevram1123
Damn, I took my first dump in my apartment during the tour before I even signed a lease.
Zooooool
Ha
rosshell2718
Respecc
W0b0
No shit?
SwayzeS
That's ok. You have more than enough "P's".
Fuzzycat16
Please... go see a doctor.
weidermeijer
Cut back on the cheese.
Jojowmojo
You're home.
koboshi
Through 8 years of primary school I didn’t go to school toilet even once. They grossed me out, I preferred to wait til I’m back home.
Jordinatinglybeautiful
I once didn’t poo for a couple of days and I’m a smart guy so just assumed I was done with it
METROlD
Like poo menopause. You reach an age and just don't shit anymore.
Jordinatinglybeautiful
Then I got that feeling
WhereIsMyAppleQuava
Is there more to this story?
iamdanman
Just moved into my first apartment too. The silence is fantastic
SnPbRosinCore
for me it's the fact that no one can hear how bad it gets :D
JustAnotherOwlOnImgur
Spent a week and created a creature of 8 inches
iamdanman
Lol, my toilet sucks though, it pinches a nerve in my leg and it goes num no matter what
iamdanman
Numb
fantasihandikappad
Excuse me, but did you not shit for a week?
ydwyrd
I can say from personal experience that it is doable.
AnonymouslyGratifying
I just had surgery and didn't poo for a week exactly. It was horrible.
Axianamos
Some people only poop once a week. Its normal.
JustAnotherOwlOnImgur
Read all comments. Can’t believe anyone has commented about shit length
TheBigL032
Took me 5 days at basic training to take my first shit. Between stress and the dietary change, it happens to many n they even told us before
spacecowboyein
I had a friend as a kid who told me he only shit once every 4 days. I envied him so much...
LasciviousHedgehog
Lots of cheese. But some people do only shit a couple of times a week and may had gone on a bombing mission at work instead.
orbitn
Or painkillers. I keep the milk of magnesia company in business.
Kbantar
Opiates.
orbitn
yup.
Kbantar
The only good thing about them after I had a fistulotomy surgery. No effect on pain or emotions, but saved me that hell for a few days.
CheddarBae
It's called being a cheese connoisseur. I'm just really constipated.
Markamanic
I only shit once a week.
theskbt
Best comment I've ever seen
nothingtosomething
For people with "lazy guts" not pooping for long periods of time is normal.
Xedi22
Some are also “cooperative guts”. Once daily for me like clockwork... but go on a work trip or camping and it’s automatic storage mode.
SeeMyVests
Same but with any away-from-home travel. Even visiting my childhood home it’ll stay in storage mode for three to four days!!
IusedToSmellRebeccasFarts
Is the guy that documented his poo still around here?
Nightcrawler63
“I shit you not “ - OP
Kabe59
One shits you not, or, the reader should not consider him or herself shitted
CitizenPrime
Well you better not shit me not
valekseye
I swallowed two pieces of string once and an hour later they came out tied together. I shit you knot.
mashotato
More like "You shit, I not"
Azawarau
I did that on my trip to Kentucky. I think the flight jammed me up that full week
majortool
No! He clearly said first poop. This is the first time he pooped. Ever.
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
Must’ve been a doozy
SonicSpeedMauriceTheCapableHedgehog
wooliebooger
greenchair
Surprise! @OP is 3 hours old.
HumtyFuckty
I poop a lot. No chance that toilet won't be christened immediately
hipshopbutcanthap
Normally I can go 3/4 days without dropping a deuce no problem (God tier metabolism). Add lots of moving, diet thrown off. I could see it
RayvenLight
I WISH I pooped once a week. I usually only pop once a month. Well, several times one day a month.
SilverHornet
Sounds like he's full of shit.
FartVentriloquist
Not anymore.
ILikeNewEnglandBeer
The secret to a great shit is a homebrew and homemade sourdough bread
ILikeNewEnglandBeer
Have one of each in the morning and then just have your nasty shit later
Ohmslaw10
Plenty of guinness at the pub then go home for a bowl of bran flakes
Chromenstein
I didn't shit for eleven days when I went to Basic Training...
Kamishiro
In USAF basic training, nobody poops until week 4. Not joking. You eat almost nothing, constantly busy, and stressed.
TheBigL032
Took me 5 days. I LOL’d when they said we may not for a week. Then was amazed. Lol
bombshelter
Or as a male, nothing else. That saltpeter in the food kill that!
SteelersNation7
There's been times when I was younger i had so much trouble going i would hold off for weeks on end, it was the norm for me. Thank ....
[deleted]
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InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
That's almost the plot of a Big Mouth episode!!
SteelersNation7
god ive gotten back to a normal human schedule
KStudios
Hell, some of us fast metabolism types shit 2 to 3 times a damn day.
PopTrogdor
I go 3 times a day. If I don't go at all or only once, I know I've done a something to fuck up my system.
Kbantar
Even when I had a hyperthyroid eating 5k Calories average, I still only defecated every other day.
Itslukus
Yea, but how much of that was water versus soda, because water helps move things along where as soda slows it down.
TiredOfTheBS
This was the case for a friend of mine in college. Turned out to be a symptom of acute IBS.
10wreckedtenrecs
I am just going through this now. Steady weight but 3000-5000 calories a day for 2 months.
lazerhosen
That's uh... a normal, healthy metabolism
Kbantar
No, it isn't. Normal is up to 3 times a day and down to once every 3 days.
lazerhosen
Once every three days sounds pretty unhealthy to me. I can't imagine having to force 3 days of poop out at once is pleasant...
Kbantar
Going three times a day sounds more annoying and chafing if just from the constant TP use. It's all relative.
nero4ty2
So 2-3 falls totally in the normal range
Kbantar
At the ultra frequent edge, sure. But that's not what was strongly implied.
Glockenspieler
What? Once a day. What are you people?
lazerhosen
If I eat 2 meals a day, I poop twice a day, when I eat 3 meals a day, I poop thrice a day...
arednecksquirel
Never eaten MRE's
samsonizzle
Oh God don't remind me
battery1979
Those never stopped me up.
arednecksquirel
Me neither but the running joke is there so may as well use it
goblinslaer
Same, ate nothing but mres for over a month still took a shit at least once a day
aslowgiantfart
I once lived in a place for 4 months and only shat in the toilet once
Ilikecreativepeople
Garbage disposal working double doodie
DynamaxAgumon
I'm not going to ask how or why I'm just glad you kept records
aslowgiantfart
It’s easy to keep record of a one time occurrence
JustinSane6
The rest of the time it was in the kitchen sink.
MyAssholeSpeaksFrenchLikeBillyCorganOnARollercoaster
TheobromineAddict
I hope he used the disposer side.
rob0tgot
How--WHY.
UltraHellboy
I poop at 9:00 every morning no matter where I am. That’s usually work.
piratedn1nj4
Hello Sheldon.
ThatShiftyMonkey
Well, after 4 months all the tupperware was full.
HerrFaul
They must not have had a poop knife
MisterReak
Not hard to do when you shit everywhere else.
Fishbong
In the car, at the beach, in the therapists office.
ButtmoTerror
CuttleFishOfCthulu
I have several coworkers that do this. First thing when they come in. Its like they WAIT to get to work. Fuck that.
Gr8fldugisused
Boss makes a quarter, I make a dime. That’s why I poop on company time.
Ferrous
Coffee on the car ride over sets in just after you arrive.
Vblink
Get paid to poop and don't have to buy tp. I use to do that but I like my bidet too much now.
JoshuaFalken
Convinced the boss to get bidets in the office. I can now poop sanitarily at home Or the office.
kickmyballsrealhard
I poop on company time. Why poop at home when you can get paid for it?
ph4i1
Worked with a guy who ate nothing but subway. Two healthy half hour+ shits every shift lol. Had the misfortune of being in the can for one
CuttleFishOfCthulu
Well, we're all salary employees and I really dont see the benefit of sharing a toilet when I have an exclusive one at home.
ImNotTaylorSwift
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time.
MiraIsABear
My body naturally decided 7:15 is the time. I start work at 7:30, so I get there a few minutes early, clock in, do my thing, get to work
CuttleFishOfCthulu
I really hope youre not in food service....
NickRivieraMD
Do you have coffee at 6:30 AM?
grandestoptimist
There are people who only shit every 1-2 weeks.
StandingIncrediblyStill
It varies for me. When i was a kid i would go past a week. As an adult, i usually go daily but sometimes skip up to two or three days -1
StandingIncrediblyStill
I never actually sit on the toilet waiting for movement, if I am not ready to go I wouldn't force it. I typically have in and I sessions. -2
MrNardtastic
Fuck i shit twice by 715 almost every day. Sometimes more. Before i leave my house and once when I get to work. Minimum
PaleAsFuck
How? Do they not eat enough food so they have nothing to pass?
kclare02
The reason I don’t go often is due to the medication I take. Antidepressants are a big culprit.
blackholevoid10011
Happened to me once. When I shat it wasn't much. I was moving too much and my body absorbed it all
pilvikukka
Are you the great successor, supreme leader of North Korea?
blackholevoid10011
Nah I am black man with an Asia hot mom and a French dad.
thor0486
did you eat anything solid? because your body can't absorb it all. That's why we shit to begin with.
FartVentriloquist
It happens when you don't get enough fiber.
blackholevoid10011
Yeah solid food and all! I was creeped out by it but eventually I became inactive and shat regularly again.
SnPbRosinCore
NOTE: I was going poop during this time, but at my parents/fiancés place :)
wearethewiggles
Thank God
amadgirl
This was an important clarification.
MoonHitsYourEye
Yes, we don’t want “muddied” facts
NomDeImguerre
Well, shit.
Crashdlanding
ALWAYS christen a new place.
CrossBetween
You should have kept going to maintain home throne virginity.
SnPbRosinCore
Absolutely not! Sometimes you just need the home toilet advantage, eg. tacobell shits, spicy poops, painful logs.....
CrossBetween
... yeah, I catch your drift: It’s the best, amirite?
SnPbRosinCore
the true comfort of knowing where everything is, the knowledge that at the end you can pass out in your own bed. Ah! TIS PEAK!
CrossBetween
ChipsSaltGravy
Nice. I always prefer an away game. Establish dominance.
SnPbRosinCore
I have 8 siblings, monopolizing the toilet is how I established dominance >:)
Psionickitten
While you have assuaged our fears it does certainly lessen the interest in the potential narrative that it implied.
DancingButterfly
I was about to recommend you see a doctor. Lol glad all works well. :-P
JohnnyricoMC
Mate, no, you should poop at your workplace, during work hours.
TheWorldAccordingToAtlas
Apparently a good housewarming gift is fiber.
PantlessinPublic
Smart, keeping yours clean
badgerthewitness
...because it took him that long to buy toilet paper.
Broccoliisbest
Phew!
mondomar
We appreciate this update.
EroticPoems
You are a generous lover.
SnPbRosinCore
It shows I am comfortable around them :)
Cats2cats
Anally retentive. Always show bathroom dominance in a new home.
SJBSavageInk
If you have a fiance, why didn't you two just move in together? She's already heard you poop.
Jt68686
Whatever you say, turd burglar.
BortymcBortfeis
Your parents & fiancé share a house!??!
TPformybungh0le
I want you to know, I am, personally, so fucking proud of you. Congratulations, you did it!
spookyactionatadistance
I get it. I used to not be able to poop in a new place. This 1 time at camp (not band camp) it took me 7 days.
smashpro1
So, you moved into a new place, but not with your fiance?
Wankathon
Please be in a covid free country
SnPbRosinCore
Canada? I have been bubbling with my s/o and parents
waspinatorrulez
That's it, assert dominance.
mcneelyj
BeardedWonder82
If you’re engaged, why not move in with fiancé?
SnPbRosinCore
I have never lived alone before and I wanted to experience it before I got married and had no chance to :)
DranksAndDragons
Does your fiancé live with your parents? Why?
SnPbRosinCore
lol no, I phrased the comment oddly, it should have been Parents and Fiancé
DranksAndDragons
Haha ooooooh lol. I bet you’ve gotten a lot of sass about that. ? Glad you are getting this experience and yay first home poop!!!
BeardedWonder82
I see
pdxjoebob
Might as well hook up with someone else too, since ya know, you won’t be able too once you’re married!
brownribbon
What is a tin lead rosin core?
SnPbRosinCore
It is a type of solder, the easiest to work with imo
brownribbon
Ah, word. I saw rosin and thought like for a violin bow. Was very confused.
TheDrunkenWrench
The RoHS compliant shit is awful to work with. Gimme that Rosin core any day.
tomatoboy
You had us very worried.
PopTrogdor
A girl I knew at Uni told us she only went once every 2 weeks. She was deadly serious. We were all so worried about her. She hates popping.
PopTrogdor
Fucking autocorrect. POOPING!
tomatoboy
I had an friend who only went once every week or two due to IBS-C. It wasn’t uncommon for her to give herself an enema, which is why I...
tomatoboy
...even know about it, as she needed advise on how to unclog the bathtub drain after a poor decision doing it there the first time.
ThePunnyGuy
Anyone that's been to Marine Corps boot camp knows it's possible to go a week without shitting.
Velocirapture2015
No shit?
KillerTofu615
I ripped myself a new asshole that way in boot camp. So much blood.
GimmethatD
tomatoboy
In boot camp, sure, I could see it. But just going about your business not crapping for a week is a big deal.
ThePunnyGuy
I almost pooped when I was screaming to ask to poop in boot camp. I'll never forget that massive log. Wish I coulda gotten a pic of it.
TwoForFlinching
Why are people not pooping in boot camp?
4sheets
Parents/fiance's... You're marrying your sister?
Smayds
Nothing wrong with a boyfriendbrother.
3lda002
You mean stepbrother right???? Right???
Bitten1x
Kids will have an Uncle Dad
snooch2thegouch
@imlivinginshame is this an alt account?
imlivinginshame
No sir/ma’am lol
4sheets
This is imgur. We just have to ask
BlackCatGreenEyes
We're entitled. Obligated at least.
SnPbRosinCore
lol, no I am not marrying my sister :p
FractalChainsaw
Sorry to have assumed your sibling-spouse's gender.
pareidoliaperson
G'daimmm!