I still love her, and think that this is the best I can get

Nov 22, 2015 12:13 AM

MillenialJesus

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I still love her, and think that this is the best I can get

She recently confessed this to a mutual friend, who though that it needed to be relayed it to me. The long story short is that she doesn't love me, and is only marrying me because I have a stable job and that I can support the life that she wants, so it is better for her to settle for me.

I haven't told anyone else about it, and am on a roller coaster of emotions. I never had good friends growing up, and my relationship with my family is pretty much acknowledging each others' existence. The only thing that I have ever wanted in my life growing up is to get married and have a family.

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Divorced woman who "settled" here. Please don't. For both of you.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

So did you marry her?

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

*hugs*

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Leave. This will not bode well in the future. She won't learn to love you. Someone true is out there, don't sell yourself short.

10 years ago | Likes 60 Dislikes 3

Sugar Daddy Zoned ....

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I notice you didn't say you wanted true love. So maybe you're settling, too.

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Please don't marry her

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I doubt this post's validity because of your previous post about your "crush touching your bald head" from 2 months.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You want love and family but you are willing to settle for imitations of.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Do not marry her!

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Talk to her. If you begin like this divorce is imminent. A broken engagement is much easier to navigate than a divorce.

10 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 2

My ex husband settled for me and decided my bff from high school was a better option. Do not marry her. It will not end well.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Heed our warning

10 years ago | Likes 60 Dislikes 1

Okay...before you listen to everyone else's advice and just leave, confirm the information. That source could be faulty.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm telling you, it may hurt to leave now, but it will hurt a hell of a lot worse later if you don't. It's not that she can do better 1/2

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My aunt married a man she didn't love. She had several affairs but he seemed ok with it. He loved her and she needed stability.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Sometimes marriage isn't about love.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Aren't YOU settling then, too? Get out, masturbate daily, and be happy until you find the right person.

10 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 4

Well actually daily masturbation is a great way to end up perpetually single & awkward. Use sparingly only when needed.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 8

Always sound advice lol

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I have to agree with imagur. Dont marry. Even if you think you love her. Never settle for less. You are a wonderful person

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Don't do it, dude. You would rather be alone than get trapped in a loveless marriage. It'll break your heart every time you look at her.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Introduce her to anal.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Introduce something to something ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Damm you - I almost choked laughing :)

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Perhaps you should talk to her. You won't ever feel like you're good enough & know what OP? You deserve better too!

10 years ago | Likes 67 Dislikes 3

Also +1 to anita

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I agree with the others posting "do not Marry her", but she deserves her word being heard. Grape vines and game of telephone effect

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

This. Talk to her. Do not just leave. Could be misinterpreted. Could be a jealous friend. Could be something you guys can work out.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

don't do it. do not get married. ABORT!

10 years ago | Likes 117 Dislikes 4

He said marriage not a baby . Jeez.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Danger Will Robinson...Danger Will Robinson

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

yes exactly like that

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is your get out of jail free card. Use it!

10 years ago | Likes 279 Dislikes 5

DUDE! Dont marry a girl who is just "meh" with you. Thats a divorce just waiting to happen.

10 years ago | Likes 273 Dislikes 3

Or worse, an entire life in a shitty marriage.

10 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

Get out now. If it's true, then don't be in a loveless marriage. I spent 11 years in one, worst choice of my life.

10 years ago | Likes 399 Dislikes 3

DONT MARRY HER. DONT MARRY HER. DONT MARRY HER. YOU WILL CERTAINLY REGRET IT

10 years ago | Likes 206 Dislikes 1

Now, imagine if anything happens to that job.

10 years ago | Likes 469 Dislikes 3

Or she finds someone with a better job who she actually IS interested in... She will leave you and rip your family apart

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

could actually tell her that you lost your job and see how fast will shel find a way out.

10 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

And it always does

10 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

2 choices, it seems to me. Leave now, or leave later. Just get the prenup bro.

10 years ago | Likes 181 Dislikes 7

I think you have to have over 100k in assets to get a prenup, not sure if that applies everywhere.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The problem is, he wants children, which a prenup can't help with. Even with a prenup, he will have to fight for custody, and probably lose.

10 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

The best is to dump her now.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And then he'll be paying child support for years.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

And alimony.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Do. Not. Marry. Her.

10 years ago | Likes 5431 Dislikes 15

God diggity darn how do I upvote this twice... hold on.. no. Well the point is, DO NOT MARRY HER. Just don't.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

OP, I have not seen this many upvotes on one comment before. I think it means something.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

A true "RUN BRO" moment.

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Dont do it, @OP. It'll be a mistake. You can be happy. Hell, you DESERVE to be happy. Don't do it.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

He's lying....

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

DO NOT MARRY HER. DO NOT MARRY HER. I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH. SERIOUSLY. DO NOT GET HITCHED WHEN EITHER OF YOU IS UNHAPPY.

10 years ago | Likes 139 Dislikes 1

You'll just end up unhappy, angry at moments, and you'll always resent her after having this knowledge. Do not settle for her.

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Been married 8 yrs....don't get married if you have any doubts, like this one,

10 years ago | Likes 146 Dislikes 1

This shouldn't even be a doubt, this should be a thing thats more than a doubt.

10 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 2

Seriously...too true

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I repeat what most everyone else has said: DO. NOT. MARRY. HER.

10 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 0

I am you from the future! I did not marry her and I am perfectly happy!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This!

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

Seriously dude, I know it hurts but it will be SOO much worse unless you end this.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Solid advice! Don't go fuckin up your life for someone that doesn't love you.

10 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Don't marry her. Ending an engagement I'd easier than divorcing in 5 years.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You need to run far and fast dude.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Sage advice here.

10 years ago | Likes 100 Dislikes 1

I been married for the wrong reasons, needless to say we are now divorced. DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just dont!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Jesus dude. Get the fuck out now.

10 years ago | Likes 65 Dislikes 0

I repeat. Do not, under any circumstance, marry her.

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

If you have marry her, your kids wil have the same relationship with you as you do your family

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Confirm it first. If she admits it, go from there. I promise you, an empty marriage won't last and only hurts more.

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

And in most cases if there isn't mutual love, it will eventually lead to cheating, and that's a way worse than loveless marriage.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Do not!!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I have better advice - PRENUP ! Let her sing up a prenup so you won't be tore apart in few years !

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Legit strat! If you're about to do it, do it with a safety net!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well since he wants to get into that, at least to do it properly and without being emotionally and financially hurt later..

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He can't evade the emotional pain, he's in too deep. But he can get away with his money

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I feel if you follow this advice you might think we stopped you from happiness but this is right, you won't be happy.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Bro. You are gonna fuck up if you do not heed this advice. Trust us!!!

10 years ago | Likes 211 Dislikes 2

Long time lurker here. Made an account just to upvote this advice.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She will eat your money, cheat-divorce-alimony and bring you more pain. Please listen to what everyone is saying!!

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

O ya, if she's into the "lifestyle he can provide," she doesn't need to stay married for that.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

DO NOT SEEK THE TREASURE

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Don't do it.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

OP, please do not marry her. Don't.fuck.this.up.bro! If you want explanations as to the whys just pm me if necessary.

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

protip

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She will cheat on you at any and every opportunity. She will leave you for someone richer. Do NOT marry her.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

For all we (and OP) knows it could be the mutual friend being a prick. I highly recommend talking to the fiance about this.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't do it! A good marriage is such a wonderful thing, don't screw yourself out of that by wasting time with somebody who isn't all in!

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I cant stress this enough....DO. NOT. MARRY. HER.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

PLEASE. I LOST 11 YEARS. DON'T DO IT.

10 years ago | Likes 84 Dislikes 1

it sounds like contractual friendzone.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I lost 12 years, a lot of money and a 180º career change.

10 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

context?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thought she loved me. Wanted her to love me. Imagined she loved me. Make believe is much like fantasy football and Fallout 4.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Your user name seems valid here.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

One word: prenuptial

10 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 2

Not even. Just don't fucking get marries

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

@OP Can't upvote this enough... that's not a good idea /at all/ to go through with it.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

According to OPs post history I'm guessing this isn't really, you know, happening. But what do I know.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She told me after a few years she never really loved me, she loved the idea of the life I could give her. Don't marry her

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There are women out there who will truly love you. I met mine through the internet and we are devoted to each other. DO NOT MARRY THIS ONE.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

@OP heed this advice. It's hard enough with two willing people. My story: I burned a decade with someone who didn't really want to be in it.

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

If you need more incentive, I lost about $400K in the divorce. She made it shitty & I just wanted her to be okay. If you MUST w/her, prenup.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

DON'T DO IT

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Please do not marry her, you deserve something better than that!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

DO MARRY. NOT HER.

10 years ago | Likes 104 Dislikes 1

Yours is my favorite.

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

You're my favorite

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My favourite is yours*

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

NO WIFE! NO WIFE HER. DOOOOO NOOOOT

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Yep

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

This! You want a family but at wat cost? No love in the family. She'll realise this and divorce in 10 years.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Take the hit now, find the one that makes life worth living. Nobody wants to be alone, but nothing compares to the right one!

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Wish I could upvote this comment 1000 x; "DO NOT MARRY HER!"

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Absolutely and positively do not. Dump her now and find someone who loves you. Life is too short for this shit.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Seriously, just burn half your shit now, your favorite half, and save yourself years of misery.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Living with a woman who can't love you back in lonelier than being alone ... sage wisdom from greys anatomy.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

dude, what the fuck.... she's gonna string you along for fucking money? I'm not even you and that hurts, I dunno how you're feelin...

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

DO NOT MARRY HER

10 years ago | Likes 1192 Dislikes 4

DO IT OP DO IT GO AHEAD AND DO IT RIGHT NOW

10 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 29

+1 bc you are funny. No one else seems to think so.. But you be funny

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Just... DON'T DO IT! Let her dreams be dreams!

10 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

DONUT MERRIER

10 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

http://youtu.be/Src0l4a51sk JUST don't DO IT

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

DO NOT MARRY HER

10 years ago | Likes 153 Dislikes 1

DO NOT MARRY HER

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

You might be too late

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

DUDE DONT DO IT

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

DDDOOOOOO NOOOOOTTTT MMMMARRRRYYYY HHHHEEEERRRR! Holy shit dude, wtf.

10 years ago | Likes 63 Dislikes 1

She's going to cheat on you.

10 years ago | Likes 1706 Dislikes 9

nah may why risk losing all that good stability and money. if you cheat you get nothing in court.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If the opposing part has proof or a confession, otherwise people would just say 'she cheated!' to get everything.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And that's not the worst part. Being with her is time OP isn't finding someone who really loves [presumably him]. etc.

10 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

If you've ever been cheated on, it is the worst part.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And while she's doing it make you miserable. She won't have sex with you, and god help you if you cheat on her. She'll take everything.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Simmons!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh, hey Caboose.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Simmons! Quit fratrenizing with the enemy.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sir, we found another robot building kit in the wreckage of our ship. It's already in your quarters.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Perfect. Simmons, I believe this kit can be used to build some sort of robot.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Captain dick is right

10 years ago | Likes 237 Dislikes 1

its hard not to cheat when you get into a marriage and you love the person ...

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

It hasn't been hard to not cheat since I've been married and I love my husband...I think it depends on a persons lifestyle

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's why they pay me the big bucks.

10 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 0

wait... you get paid?

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

Yeah, but I haven't gotten it yet. The same goes for overtime. I'm still expecting time and a half and a half to compensate for it.

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Did you think you'd ever write that sentence?

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm glad I was given the opportunity

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's Captain Dick Simmons to you, private.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not sure why this comment made me laugh so hard!

10 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Perfect response for name

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0