trroesink
159627
6968
260
Jan 19, 2016 4:28 PM
trroesink
159627
6968
260
beverlymoreno19
Had an ex who said the same thing on the first meme then later said he would be happy to have a baby with me.
iWontEvolveSquirtle
I enjoy this.
HuskilyDemonic
I laughed harder at these than I do actual jokes
hoomdoom
Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread
LisaJWho
Whats green and floats through walls? Ghost lettuce. Whats green and doesn't float through walls? All green things. It's simple physics...
twentyfivehundred
I don't drink coffee without a penis.
DrGBadger
Well, I'm whelmed
tinycutepolypan
These are fantastic.
GeneralBastard
I nasally exhaled
TheDuckThatCantQuack
Thanks... Now i cant stop noticing that when i do it
GeneralBastard
Yeah lol should always be NE
WhiteTexan
gazoontite
Probablalibly
As a German that's mildy interesting
FredIsANiceGuy
Lol
enigmasck
I use these types of jokes from imgur to make me popular with the over 50 crowd at work. Thanks imgur!
NappaTheFriendlyGhost
A lady friend of mine laughs every time.
cogs
As someone well north of 50, I'd say I did your mother but she's probably too young for me. Now get off my lawn.
enigmasck
she's probably a little too dead for you too...unless that's your thing. I mean you're old so shit doesn't matter. 1/2
enigmasck
2/2 When I'm old I'm going to steal shit all the time.
darzin
I am in the over 30 crowd and fuck overly sensitive douche canoes... You aren't fucking special meat bag.
enigmasck
The old folk where I work are actually pretty cool. There are a few who are cranky, but I can't blame them. They've probably seen half 1/2
SinaiEpisodes
Slow claps*
ZeeTeeEl
I read several of these in Danny Sexbang's voice. xD
Phantomburn
Knock knock
KaJuN
Come in!
mooseboots
Joke cock block.
someonealreadyhasmyusualusername
Why can't Amy Winehouse Drive? Because she's Amy fucking Winehouse.
EroticZombiePants
2Jews walk into a bar. A 3rd uses the door.
hoomdoom
Person A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person B: Okay, are you a tree? Person A: No.
lolthisismyusername
*Almost* reminds me of Mitch Hedberg.
rightinthekisser
The worm in the apple is also quite an inconvenience...
JoshuaTully
Sitting on a train reading through it and lost my shit and started choking at the coffee one thanks for the yucks
LordSupergreat
Some of these are dark humor, not anti-jokes.
tiespiderman
I love how these go from well that's just stupid to oh dear god that's horrible
Boredashell
I like my women how I like my coffee. Black, bitter, and preferably fair trade.
AlgernopKrieger
And I'm glad that I have an erection that doesn't involve homeless people
idontneedyourrulesman
Hot, and in my lap. Wait...
AlgernopKrieger
And I'm glad that I have an erection that doesn't involve homeless people
wmatthall6
Imported in a box from Colombia
Rediculocity
Freshly plucked by migrant workers
AlgernopKrieger
And I'm glad that I have an erection that doesn't involve homeless people
testtubebabywithgunsforhands
I like my women how I like my "I like my women jokes". Beaten into the ground.
extreaminatus
Ground up and in the freezer.
underscoreneckbeard
Always.
voxpopulivoxdei
In a sack, tied to the back of a donkey
skotteh
Cock Facts
HoneyWhereIsMySuperSuit
What's better than winning a gold in the Paralympics?
HoneyWhereIsMySuperSuit
Legs
Flyndaran
Except that everyone in the Special Olympic is retarded, but not everyone in the Paralympics is legless.
HoneyWhereIsMySuperSuit
Yes, although for the purposes of a joke reply...
WhiteTexan
Hm, this begs the question what is worse than The Holocaust?
ced4r
6 million Jews?
squintish
Two holocausts.
WhiteTexan
well played
Collaborativelmgur
What's brown and rhymes with "Snoop"?
stardy
... no im not i dont have any friends
Collaborativelmgur
Dr. Dre
LeeroyTheBird
I literally rolled over while laughing loudly
stardy
im talking to my friends on steam and saying this and when they say poop i go "no, dr dre you wierdo"
Somanyquestions
#14 is a stretch, you might not have reasoning capacities, but you have instinct and urges. Not everything you do is random Mr. Chicken!
goodguyC
I was recently in the caribbean, and there are chickens/roosters everywhere, you know why he crossed the road, because tourist feed them!!!
Flyndaran
False dichotomy. Either I know something, or it's without explanation. I hate that nonsense so common to Americans today.
YouLookLikeAFruit
Why is the black guy good at baskerball, because he practiced.... amazing
YouScruffyNerfHerder
What's brown and sticky?
wardenclyfe
Chocolate
Taur622
Shit.
YoSoyMilk
A brown, sticky substance
JenJensjuggs
A scab?
spikytortoise
Treacle
xxtikkiixx
A stick
alwayssafeforwork
Whats brown and ryhms with snoop?
ChristopherMirdo
Dre
Flyndaran
Tarry feces may be a sign of diabetes. :)
WeaseloftheNight
Elton John's wedding ring
sangatster
Dahm!
Smayds
An enormous bowel evacuation.
tacosforeverymeal
Heroin.
Sauroctonus
MY SHIT!
MrJimmyC
Brown duct tape.
toeyak5973
A band-aid!
losviking
A mishap at the Mississippi corn syrup production building in 1853.
LearnedCoward
But seriously: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_Molasses_Disaster
losviking
Holy shit
MexicanJoe
Me dipped in honey
Zadoyinga
KawaiiPotatoGirl
I can't stop laughing. Send help.
StirFryBeans
pyroscoped
traitor
SilvaticusNatticus
Why
StirFryBeans
Photographer must have been bored. Sauce: http://www.huffpost.com/us/entry/6795798
StirFryBeans
Sorry that link is broken. Here is a new one. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/04/blake-little-preservation_n_6795798.html