TheSara
137074
9786
162
May 11, 2016 1:34 AM
TheSara
137074
9786
162
AttilaTheHungover
Now OP has published Grandma's number, I wonder how many people have invited themselves for beef at 6pm.
AlphaQueueBeta
#8 wasn't using a sax as a Nike sign
realmdweller
#11
v
MrDirtyEars
Oh, Lil Marco.... Such dad jokes.
CthuluAlmighty
ZimKat
I just upvoted a bunch of cheese suggestions.
Cereaza
What? No, the eel is just having a good time.
ButButterButtsButbutterBetterThanButts
A dumpling*
badsbe
Ah nuts, I was about to say that!
Trustydryingpan
In that persons defense that guy has nice legs.
ElaTypos
I dream for that legs
makethepeniseskiss
That cereal bar one had British all over it. I read it in a British accent.
ImDarkerThanYou
It was Scottish - there is no British accent. If I had to guess I'd say it was Glaswegian
Hetzer
There are actually a lot of British accents, considering they're accents from the island of Great Britain.
ImDarkerThanYou
Exactly!
logantus
"Get to fuck" "You're having me on"
TheLowEndTheory
square go wee man
CommieShillPaidBySoros
Scottish af.
ineedtopoopsobad
Come again lad
eflatmajor
Im gonnae toe yer pipe ya wee mug
grandmamasterbacon
Ya fucken weapon
VivaLaSlytherin
I'll bash yer fokkin head in
MrPhuckett
I read that with a thick Scottish broad.
NotFunt
I swear on thee fokkin Qween I'll bash ur arse into next Wednesday
JPRiddles
As an Irish person, they sound Irish. Especially cos he says "here" before he asks the question.
TheHaloFollower
must be brits
IPutTheMilkInFirst
"Get to fuck" makes no sense but "you're having me on" is a super common phrase in the UK.
mspaintlad
And not just in Scotland to any onlookers
beverage
Get to fuck is just as common
geekyfarmer
I hadn't seen most of these. Is this a trap? +1
DuelyNoted
you know you've messed up when grandma calls you on your crap
FemaleINTJ
Knew a grandma who did this but in front of everyone she told her she was being a bitch to her dads really nice girlfriend and to stop it.
HungryPumpkn
Massachusetts.
falloutmonk
Eh, it's common enough for men to text sexual advances out of the blue. She thought beef meant, well, something else.
SparkyBangstick
That poor grandma is so disappointed
aalcoholism
Please don't be like this
creynolds722
I can't believe you've done this
SpazmaticJ
You're tearing this family apart Maddie, please stop this...
aalcoholism
Ah Fuck -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKbU8B-QVZk
AndThenThereWereSquirrels
Hadn't gotten that far when I read your comment, was wondering if there was a connotation to "Massachusetts" I wasn't aware of
bamblebimble
Probably that it auto corrected it and he spelled it right.
triggerhappychappy
With regards to the last one, do people really address their parents with their first name as opposed to mom/dad?
Iammoney45
It said step dad, so yeah, lots of people call step parents by their name. For just normal parents it is very uncommon, but not unheard of.
BenSnow97
Okay, who else is texting that number pretending to be grandma with another new phone?
gorgeousninja
It's weird that "I f*cking hate you" often now passes as a term of endearment.
AhDumTheHermit
but seriously, how'd he get the flower border around his imessage?
ImDarkerThanYou
apparently it was a thing they did on mother's day once
Drhikari
Who's Fry talking to about Leela?
brynngivans
Yeah I saw this on Facebook earlier too.
adrien2525
Massachusetts
baneshiver
I recommend mozzarella slices as a substitute to yellow cheese on a buger. Shit's good yo.
ShawnS0l0
Boogers*
baneshiver
*burger
dwolnation
This was nice. I enjoyed this. Thank you.
Jefie
this comment was nice i enjoyed it thank you
dwolnation
Well you're quite Welcome!
TheSara
Well you're quite welcome!
CompanysOkay
How tf did hr put flowers on the message bubble thing
BestOfMenMustDie
This was my question too.
Marceline
facebook let you put flowers around your messages on the mobile messenger app for Mother's Day
ElaTypos
Yeah, does iphone got those thing?
PianoMan2112
Maddy's a triple cunt: 1) asshole to strangers 2) posted bashing her grandmother 3) posted her grandmother's number
dingdongdannyoreillyandthehairybowsies
Giving all Maddie's a bad name. No wonder they go missing on holidays
TheMetalDiplomat
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Beef
percula1869
I don't care who it is, if you talk to any other human being like that you are already a triple cunt.
IshitOnWindshields
Do you not know what beef is?
joeyramonaquimby
Maddie is a straight up twat waffle
CliffWestern
Does anyone else see the irony in being an asshole to Maddie despite having very limited info about her character?
BestOfMenMustDie
No
GavinScreaming
Yes, it's great
PianoMan2112
I know she didn't blur out her number; neither did anyone who reposted it.
suddenlyrelevant
Also British. Wind your neck in, love. That's how teenage arseholes front randoms. No biggy.
BestOfMenMustDie
I barely understood this. But I like it.
suddenlyrelevant
Please stop being angry about it, that's how the UK youth of today confront people they do not know via text. It is no big deal.
BestOfMenMustDie
What an odd reply! I was not angry, not at all; didn't mean to give that impression in the slightest.
suddenlyrelevant
I rewrote mine in proper text as you said you barely understood it ;) I wasn't replying to your reply, dear, don't worry.
Hetzer
They assumed it was a random person wanting to fight. That's what beef means.
delaneige
I thought she was assuming a man was asking for sex. Beef => meat => euphemism.
Robbann
oh, i assumed she thought the person meant beef as in "my man meat"
BestOfMenMustDie
me too!
ysaleh06
Massachusetts
yuyufan43
As someone from Massachusetts, the only question where this is an acceptable answer is "What state rapes you though taxes?". Massachusetts.
sjukfan
From now on I will reply to all questions this way.
Shimthesham
Maffachufettf
woodwardja12
As confusing as it can be to those who haven't seen it before, the "long S" looked fancy as fuck
WHOISTIRED
That Arizona canned tea one got me real good. 10/10
NotAfraidToOffendYou
5/7
delilahviolet
I get this reference
TK421isAFK
So you've been on imgur at least once in the last year?
GilderoyPopDropNLockart
New dress doe
PalaceOfCaravans
A-Dora-bowl.
Rodvitner
Unless im retarded the text message left out the "a" making it more annoying.
brosiah6
Probably better than "explora-bowl" like I thought at first.
Wodenifferous
Honestly, that still works as a pickup line.
spookhook
Oh I was so close. I thought it was adoraplate
xMidnightArrow
Thanks. Soooo confused
LukeGallo
Thank youuuuu....
mishalala
Thank you
favapea
I thought it meant "dishy", which made me cringe a bit
DaddysHome
i seriously had to close my eyes and try not to facepalm to that one.
wonderwallboy
I sent that to my crush. She blocked me.????
AchilleonV
Thank you, bc I'm stupid today
mosier0874
Ohhhhhhh
BobbyMcfallenberg
I thought it was just exparabowl
ZeldaShotFirst
Took me a minute and a few scrolling actions, but I was proud of myself when it finally clicked.
ThatOldGuyInStarWars
Oohhh I thought it was a-bowl-a
PalaceOfCaravans
Ebola....?
ThatOldGuyInStarWars
Yeh
StorytellingSalem
.
Kimmijay84
Thank you
DavidCarrico1234567890
I fucking hate you
BearsBeetsandBattlestarGalactica
So not "a-Dora-boots" cool got it
TheMasterOfTheMechanicalStuff
i went for "bowler" :P
SatanGoatWhore
Please do not be like this
tanebou
Fucking Maddie. Little wise ass.
r2linad2
I was going to say it, if someone else didn't.
LordDiggleberryYourDoorToDoorDeathSalesman
I lived Bitch
freezing00k
I snorted at that one lmao.
reclaimingrequiem
I looked her right in the eye-sockets. And I said. I said.... Biiiiiiiiiiiiitch
freezing00k
I got that reference.
analscream
you deserve more points
DoktorLurker
Manchego. The cheese you want is Manchego.
DarthFluffyBottom
Finnish Juustoleipä/leipäjuusto. Works with jam or meat.
AdrianDunne
Port Salut is my crack.
AdrianDunne
That sounded like a fine statement until I read it back.
DoktorLurker
Not sure if you're a cheese addict or need to see a doctor ;)
Lysergian
Prarie breeze by Milton is amazing.
fred0ne
Roquefort !
oystertrident
Drunken Goat Cheese. I may have lost my panties just thinking about it. ????
ArthurRatcliffe
Reblochon. Hard to get in the US, but worth it.
kungfuskunk
Always been a mimolettle kinda dude
azazello17
I'm an american, but I live and study in France, but god dammit I love dutch cheeses. I feel like I'm betraying my second home :p
AnUnExpctedWall
Smoked Apple wood Cheddar or Piave; dat crunch doe
chaiteanunes
My grandfather is from Portugal and my dad said he used to get Manchego from Portugal. Now we never not have Manchego in the household.
RevolutionOnHerLips
brunoest!
TicoGuy
If you like Hard cheese try Emmental. Its one of my favs
Robin2win14
Old Amsterdam. That shit melts in your mouth
xenathewarriorprincesswashot
Halloumi cheese. You can eat it raw or throw it in fire and it comes tastier than before! It's like the phoenix of cheeses...
Berlinthebattleturtle
Commenting for when I go to the grocery store.
a5h3r4h
Humboldt Fog. Point Reyes blue. Apricot Stilton.
mozrael
If I hadn't seen Wallace and Grommet, I'd say you were full of bs.
CmdrFly
Shmegma
TurdFairy
Dick cheese is not the cheese we're looking for here. But I appreciate your efforts to remind people that smegma is a thing.
711isAnInsideJob
And don't forget that Richard (Dick) Cheese is a thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzvC2JP8V2E
BayazTheBenevolent
Bavaria Blu, bitches! http://www.bergader.de/fileadmin/_migrated/pics/bavaria_blu_brett.jpg
DoktorLurker
That looks delicious.
likeminded
Teleme cheese, creamy like Brie, tastes like Jack cheese. YUM.
parabolic000
Red Dragon cheese is great. Cheddar with ale and mustard seeds? Yes please.
youwould
That is my favorite cheese!!!
711isAnInsideJob
I recommend The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales. Don't eat it though.
ItsMeMello7
Personally I prefer the Italian version called "Womanchecome"
Hentaimannen
Høost is really nice also, but might be kind of hard to get depending on where you live since it's from Denmark.
dankatron420
Jarlsberg Swiss
Efreeti
Jarlsberg is Norwegian. Swiss isn't a type of cheese. The cheese you're thinking of is Emmental, which, to be fair, Jarlsberg is similar to.
dankatron420
So what name do I address this nutty, smooth cheese as?
Efreeti
Jarlsberg? You call it Jarlsberg. It's just Jarlsberg.
kungfuskunk
"The Jarlsberg is on the table."
deepfriedcatheads
You must try the jarlsberg cheese dip they have at kroger, it is delectable.
NiNjArOcKsTaR94
Framunda
Thisismyusernamenotyoursitsmine
This guy gets it
Red5689
Havarti
TurdFairy
God yes. Let's all talk about cheese.
lagomorpha
If you're in the South, get imported Dutch Gouda from Publix & eat it with a honey crisp apple. Best. Fucking. Thing. Ever.
Fincozmoz
For a hard cheese I'd prefer Gruyere
jollywalnut
One of the best burger cheeses by my reckoning.
Fincozmoz
Really? Haven't tried it on a burger... Yet!
DoktorLurker
Tasty stuff!
Efreeti
Ridder!
WHYDONTIREMEMBERMYPASSWORD
Good call! If you're feeling fancy with olive oil, I suggest burrata.
DoktorLurker
Nom nom nom burrata......
ShockandDawwww
I'm going to be real with you, I am always feeling fancy with olive oil
freelsd
This guy! Sheep's milk ricotta with honey and sea salt too.....mmmmm
Snarkoleptic
Manchego is a bit meh by itself. Inside a tortilla, however...
sorrynotsorryimnotcanadian
No.
BuffaloDanger
Fuck off. I bet you eat American cheese when there are other cheeses available.
DoktorLurker
"Pasteurized process cheese food" You know you've got the good stuff when it has to tell you it's food!
MarishkaGinny
OOOO! Low blow.
Havacado
.
Arlok
the cheese you want is mimolette
fraxinusoleaceae
Yeeeeeeeessss
GreenTeaGal
I just googled Mimolette, it sounds delish <3
Sempervirens12358
Wasn't banned from the US? Americans are missing out on god-like cheeses
PossiblyYourMother
What? How do we ban cheese? Fuck we ban everything good
Chrono2055
We banned casu marzu, which is a cheese that I'm glad they banned
Sempervirens12358
I don't understand your paranoïa with cheese. European cheeses are older than the US. We've been eating them for some time already (1/2
Sempervirens12358
So far so good! Accept cheeses, a whole new world will open before your eyes. Cheese is love, cheese is life.
BobBobbingtonTheOriginalWhoseNameWasStolen
Smoked Gouda!
NekoMiko06
I'm sorry, I think you meant Gruyere.
DoktorLurker
Also an excellent option.
bonsaitree
They sell Smoked Gouda with Bacon in it and my HEB. Yes, it is as amazing as it sounds.
boogaloobear
If you like Gouda, you should watch "Spy Hard" with Leslie Nielsen. Its got a geat cheese joke.
javer80
I can't put my finger on why, but the thought process in this comment is weirdly super endearing.
Pickapair
Smoked Gouda bacon MacnCheese is one of the best things I have ever put in my mouth.
AFineDayForScience
mix asiago, mozzarella, and cream cheese in a bowl, microwave, mix, pour over nachos and bake for 5-10 minutes. it will change your world
K4LJ
Smoked Gouda cheese...on grilled cheese...with ham and honey mustard...
justanotherdoug
Havarti is the shit!
Youmiss100percentoftheshotsyoudonttakeWayneGretzkyMichaelScott
I want to party with havarti
catmoles
havarti and provolone in grilled cheese, I swear by it :-)
kangaroodisco
Is it only good grilled? I bought some yesterday and had it on crackers just plain and it was rubbish
JGthiccworth877THICCNOW
I always upvote havarti.
DoktorLurker
Quite good!
K4LJ
For when you run out of Smoked Gouda.
abbadactyl
Out of desperation I used Muenster for my grilled cheese sandwich... best mistake I ever made.
NachoPete
Then you must try this: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/04/19/aom-month-of-sandwiches-day-15-grilled-cheese-with-a-twist/
abbadactyl
Aaaaah!! That's Patrick Warburton! The voice of Kuzco is describing cheese to me! This is heaven.
chbarts
Use Muenster in potatoes. Make a mash. Make a Muenster mash.
scruffilumpkins
Muenster, Swiss and black forest ham
username29470
You're a Muenster.
abbadactyl
Iol something something Cookie Muenster
waltk89
I've been frying a piece of provolone to get crispy on the outside, then putting it between 2 pieces of Muenster and grilling it. Mamma Mia!
abbadactyl
that sounds amazing!
waltk89
You have no idea, sucks having to clean an extra pan, but it's totally worth it.
losboccacc
is all grillable cheese starting with M? we use Montasioover here.
abbadactyl
I don't know what that is but I want it.
DaChronisseur
2 parts muenster, 1 part Havardi, 1 part emmenthaler. Coat the outside of both slices of bread in mayonnaise and fry in butter.
abbadactyl
If I'm going to die, I shall die a Queeeeeen! (can't even pronounce that 3rd one, but this sounds amazing)
Elminst
M-N-taller. It's a kind of Swiss cheese. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emmental_cheese
abbadactyl
Thanks! You're like a cheese enabler :)
runscar
Good god...
Laserdiscmemories
What is this a recipe for? Heart disease?
PossiblyYourMother
I'm heading to the hospital after reading that, dear god
Vanilla00Gorilla
Why all the haters¿ I'ma cheat meal this bitch
Jet3444
Sounds like a delicious heart attack
DoktorLurker
I used to add smoked turkey in mine.
Lionskull
congrats, you made a turkey and cheese sandwich.
ThePornBroker
Turkey, brie and cranberry sauce in a toasty is the bees knees
TheManWithTheGoldenPenis
First of all awesome username, also is boutique cheese something i should get into?
waltk89
Muenster isn't really all that fancy, I buy mine at Aldi, they have a pretty good cheese selection to try something new, plus it's cheap.
abbadactyl
Thanks! And absolutely, it's an easy, delicious way to switch up flavors. My favorites: Asiago, Gouda, Havarti.
babiibug
Gouda!!! Omg. The cheese that tastes like bacon. The winner of all cheeses
Lavawight
Muenster is the best for grilled cheese. I did all kinds of other stuff, but nothing matched up.
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
Blue cheese or bust
ThePornBroker
Dude, I feel you, Blue cheese on a cheese toasty is right up there. I wonder why you got such hate for it.
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
Whatever, they're just missing out
abbadactyl
It was like stumbling on a gold mine!
Lysergian
Also good for egg sandwiches in the am if you like to make those.
abbadactyl
Oh I love those.. I'll try Muenster for sure!