HoodMagic
359166
24007
459
Spoop Tax
Oct 9, 2016 2:31 PM
HoodMagic
359166
24007
459
Spoop Tax
dangeroushorses
But...but I do like my steak well done :/
myr14d
As a former IT support. #4 isn't so much an insult so much as a fact of life I desperately wished wasn't true.
WhoMe616
"I envy people who don't know you."
WrinkleStar
.
Toqueman
Was looking for this one. It's so bad
GavinScreaming
I would feel embarrassed for anyone using these. They're so dorky
YouThinkThatsBad
These should all be read in the voice of a sweet southern woman
cooplander
#33 is from Mad Men
Kougeru
Heard it decades before
TheGayPenguin
And #18 is from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt!
Pogo748
Casablanca. Ugarte: You despise me, don't you? Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.
JewishMonk
A better movie than Citizen Kane, I think.
RedBlueGreenRedBlueGreen
I'd give my right nipple to be Michael Ginsberg.
theyar
Most of these are embarrassingly lame.
Orion1030
I'm trying to understand your point but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
tristan8251
#1 sounds like a compliment. Damn am I a bitch
davidthegoliath
I would slap tou, but shit stains
drickanderson
"I refuse to have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person."
MikeGreenwellWasRobbed
#41 reposting this bullshit on imgur for fake internet points: it's not as rewarding as you think it feels.
lyneeth
I don't get how the first one is an insult tho
ItsReallyNot
Implies that everyone else dislikes you.
GoodNewsCigaretteJuice
Not really, no
confanity
#1 is every time the Donald wants to say something bad about someone without getting blamed for being an enormous gaping asshole.
Choiced
#10 is my biggest fear.
UraniumLollipop
Cringey af.
sandwiched
Someone send these to both Trump and Clinton for tonight!
byrdbones
These all sound even better if you say them with Ron Swanson's voice in your head.
ogaruu
If you need an insult list youre already lame af
DVSBSTrD
so did you just come up with that outta the blue, or is it one of several insults stored in that "edgy" brain of yours?
apercent
It's funny cause
AliBarber
God damn 95% of these are super cringey.
andyar
Yeah, well.. This post is rubber and you are glue mister.
JudgeMentalCat
A lot of it is about context, tone of voice, etc
AliBarber
Agreed. Still cringey.
[deleted]
[deleted]
AliBarber
Uh huh
pookiesexbomb
Oh man, you're trying and failing with your rebuttals on these comments.
[deleted]
[deleted]
AliBarber
Neat
SteevyT
Is onomatopoeia an onomatopoeia?
ElJefeLives
Especially the "2090 called" insult.
MysteriousLeigh
Oh man, my brain is gonna love using these on me. It thanks you.
AHeckingGoodBoy
#19 i do, how is that a cutting insult?
RunsWithShortShorts
People don't like other people who do things differently than they do so they nitpick unimportant things to make themselves feel better.
HoodMagic
Dont eat steak, you don't deserve it.
AHeckingGoodBoy
imma be eating my my well done steak while you die of mad-cow disease :D
forte10
I do too. And even if you were right and I didn't deserve it, how is it an insult?
Happyrexmanningday
Is number #17 not complete?
tamrissa
nobody talks about you when youre not around.
Ellipbro
...and that is going to be the only one I can remember 10 minutes from now.
Splatteredpixie
I saw it as something you say when some one walks up to two people and asks, "what's are you talking about?".
ForTheLoveOfTalosShutUpAndLetsGetThisOverWith
Ooo that's good
20DYNAMITE07
I can imagine Neckbeards practicing these in a mirror while they adjust their trilby.
isvara
What? No! Shut up!
Anhabanana
I'm so glad there's someone out there not calling it a fedora. It makes them look like an idiot on top of being a douche
Sportmotor
Doing God's work here with hat knowledge
Waskomsause
Its even worse when they wear it with a t-shirt and jeans... I wear a trilby with my suit, only with a suit, and only with a black suit.
Dontrespectmahauthoritah
Or suit jacket and jeans. It's like a trilby for rest of the body.
CandidGamera
When you feel the need to distinguish yourself from lesser neckbeards on imgur, you've truly reached advanced level neckbeardery.
Waskomsause
Make it jeans, a suit jacket, and add in a shirt that has ANY anime main cast on it, plus a set sports styled sunglasses. King neckbeard!
zen524
UPVOTES FOR HAT AWARENESS!
PigeonFace
What's wrong with liking cooked steak all of a sudden?
spaceystacey
Because well done is considered over-cooked by foodies.
TimberWolf141
And the only response needed for any of these. ; Don't play yourself.
justherefortheshitposting
...And the the young man punched the Buddha square in the face and broke his nose, because real life doesn't work like that.
carp8dm
It's neck beard-y... But it works. +1
DinosaurusRex24
Its a parable told by buddha, how it it neckbeardy?
carp8dm
Responding to an insult with a long Buddhist parable is the ultimate in neck beard-y.
BYERE
I cannot say I live by that quote BECAUSE of the quote, but it is how I choose to live my life.
ThatEdward
Buddha Da
chance2120
Woah, right in the feels. Watch the whole thing! +1
ILikeCharmanderOk
Thanks for sharing matey
Ilikeyogurt
Buddha dot
cpbowser
Excellent
LegoLFBattletoads
.
sunionbroman
Is this where "I am rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you", comes from?
starrychloe
Buddha thunk it?
321Nik
and that loop!
Volucris0814
Well said
perfectbosom
.
Gibblesmish
Congratulations, you played yourself.
slamnfreak
If only more people would read this and live by it.
GrandmasterVirgin
So if someone rejects my love, the love falls back on me? Bullshit.
TimberWolf141
Was it love, if you recoil in anger/frustration when turned down?
GrandmasterVirgin
The more I think about that, the more right you are. If you truly love them, you'll be happy so long as they are...
GrandmasterVirgin
Right?
TimberWolf141
Wesugi
I was really really really expecting something like "But the man wouldn't listen, so Buddha shanked his sorry bitch ass."
TachyonCode
Well, he did effectively say "go kill yourself" and not in so many words.
MiloDuChat
Thanks for sharing that great GIF. I favorited it, and shared with my fiancé. She is a Buddhism teacher. Namasté!
Danmanbadman
Damn that was deep
MaggieSmithsSass
+1 for guillaume nery
Mazp
whoa what get me away from that place
DefinetlyNotARussianSpy
But what if i want to hurt people?
MagnusTheRedCyclops
I- I don't know...
DoctorFizz11
Then congratulations..you played yourself -dj khaled
McBook
chainsaws
Pinkishu
Much more hurting if you hurt them when they think you're loving, trust you, and lower their defenses
mithiwithi
Well, hey, if you're a masochist as well as a sadist, go have fun with yourself.
SciNrd314
I'm not a religious man myself, but this is basically how I live my life. Someone's angry at me, that's their problem, not mine.
SciNrd314
At the same time, #2 #4 #6 #14 and #16 come to mind when I've explained the same thing 5 ways to someone and they STILL don't get it.
Derwos
Unfortunately some people can make it your problem real fast.
SciNrd314
And that's why you learn to defend yourself. Something like a tazer is good for that, so is defensive driving courses. And a good law firm.
jewru
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries
Voidspear
17
davidthegoliath
I fart in your general direction
PrinceNahkalaktaOfNigeria
You silly English k nicits!
newsguycraigevans
slagath0r
This gif. Every time.
jaypayjay
SchrodingersCat270
I love all of you
ElvenOrigins
Eoom
The Spanish Inquisition
MzPaige
I didn't expect this...
MarlboromanMat
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition
OGPichu
FsImgur
Who are the Britains? And who made you King? I didn't vote for ya
60FPSDoggo
Your mother was a murloc
JesseK0628
No, your mom eats cat poop!
datester35
Oh, Sir! How could you say that.
FlareonTheFalseProphet
fun fact: that means your mother was a slut and your father a drunk
GeneralBLUE88
Sauce?
Jackk92
Hamsters mate like crazy, wine was made from elderberries
SterlingMaloryArcherr
I love how you state the obvious with such a sense of discovery.
CanBeAroundBoobsWithoutStaringCreepilyAtThem
Well I didn't know that before ! So it was a new fact to me
TotallyNotIdiotic
But a poof of a drunk. For he drinks wine.
battery1979
Have you ever tried elderberry wine. That's potent shit.
TotallyNotIdiotic
Dude. I'm under aged so.... no.
Yiffer5000
"Now leave, or I will aunt you a second time!"
raptorsoldier
Please excuse my dear taunt sally
Yiffer5000
I hate my keyboard..."TAUNT, TAUNT"
nuezjr
Your taunting will freeze before you reach the first marker..!
ItsaMeCapitanoTomTheLessKnownPirateFromTheShipOfCapitanHooker
Being aunt of thy certainly is worse fate than any taunts thee could ever recreate with those puny little brains of thine!
HaydzSam
Thank for the Laugh lol
Zurgalon
A good variation on #13 is to replace "chocolate teapot" with "knitted condom"
Scaramucci
My favourite is "waterproof teabag"
StoolPanini
The steak one was a bit uncalled for tbh. That's an awful thing to say to someone.
firstsecondfuhrer
you deserve more upvotes
LordOfTheGingers
"a nun's tits", surely...
littlegingerone
Screen door on a submarine
Meeshomatic
Ejector seat in a helicopter. Or an ashtray on a motorbike.
jamkru
Tits on a fish 'round these parts
miles4pints
Tits on a boar here
blissfullyalive
When I first read it, I thought it said "chocolate tampon". Same difference, really.
wrecklaw
But an even worse mess
NoDiceDoomguy
Tits on a bull is one I use often.
TheGamingPacman
Or on #11 'I bet you're great at the parties you don't get invited to.'
daendusk
I'm still debating with myself as to whether or not I would love to have a chocolate teapot. on one hand useless, on the other delicious.
MotorboatFantastic
Anne Frank's drum kit
Zugoola
Undercover ambulance
Johnnyw91
Handbrake on a canoe.
HoodMagic
Those are pretty clever c;
TwoCountTooSweet
Condom machine in the Vatican (Used on 'Red Dwarf' I believe)
GoHomeAndBeAFamilyMan
Cock flavoured lollipop!
KeroKeroCola
Yeah, the chocolate one doesn't work for me. I just think, "I- I could eat it... mMm... teapot."
321Nik
a knitted condom is one of the most useful things i have ever imagined...
orangatuan
A chocolate teapot is aweseome. Except fill it with hot apple pie filling instead of tea.
SevenDeadlyFins
Ankle welly
bushmaori
"Tits on a ball" is what I normally use
IOCTOPUSI
But then there would be no use
ModernCookie
Glass hammer
KashaDatWolf
I always used, Nun's Vagina.
elmesito
Useful as a condom machine in the Vatican.
GeneralBLUE88
Plot twist, once they got one they realized why they were so useful
GeneralBLUE88
Plot twist, once they got one they realized why they were so useful
zacstang77
My coworker says a poopy flavoured lollipop
nonsequitur
I use "football bat"
alfantastic
I use "Anee Frank's drum kit"
AnythingStupid
You sound like fun
Subtox
Oh no Jew ditn't.
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
I did Nazi that coming. Did jew? Anne Frankly, it was hitlerious.