GullahGullahIslander
26446
895
7
Dec 13, 2025 5:09 PM
GullahGullahIslander
26446
895
7
JustLettingPeopleBeWrong
US federal minimum tipped wage is 2.13. Bezos is (currently) worth ~242b. If he worked 24 hours a day it would take him just shy of 13 million years.
Not. Long. Enough.
levyathyn
If you worked from the dawn of humanity making $100 an hour, I'm not going to do the math again but he'd be working for something like 280,000 more years. And that's at constant, 24 hour work with no sleep, breaks, or slow down.
astronomygeek7
Don’t forget, he still has to pay for his consumables, utilities, and rent.
Isorikk
Damn I think I might've been Jeff Bezos in a previous life
GrumpyOldMan55
And he should have all the expenses of life.
wargames
with inflation
eppykaze
I would like to point out that some countries that Amazon has facilities in don't have minimum wages and as such are paid much worst than even US minimum wage. This time in Hell should be based on the lowest wage Amazon has paid out.
mithiwithi
I am generous! I will settle for median wage.
KileyBarker
This is why you aren't a billionaire. Your empathy disgusts me.
SmeesNotVeryGoodTwin
He's probably got enough time accrued to work each worker's careers. He could just get demoted over time so that he when he's feeling the struggle, he also knows that it's going to get worse.
LitterBoxKing
Not good enough. He needs to be terminated every year as part of a bullshit stack-rank-and-yank and have to slog through unemployment and horseshit interviews.
jasondeslin
I did the math on this a few weeks ago.
Human society is roughly 12k years old based on the beginning of agriculture.
If Ellen Stink was immortal, and began working 40 hours a week at the start of human society, he would have had to earn $20,032 an hour and save every penny, to "earn" his current net worth.
That is 2,763 times the US Federal minimum wage.
It would take 33,156,000 years to "earn" at full time minimum wage. Not going to do the math on sweat shop wages. Earth isn't that old.
jasondeslin
I know this one is about Bezos, but Stink had the highest net when I did the math, and it was for curiosity, not a specific billionaire. They are all cunts, and not a single one of them could be tortured enough to balance out the harm they have caused without eternity becoming involved.
fractalsphere
Every instance of him not putting on the perfect customer service face when being berated for something stupid docks him an entire day's pay.
ironymus
Why waiting for him to die, rob him of all his money and let him suffer in this world he helped to create?
Boopdoot
Can some one do the math for how long this would take. 🙏
ShimmerinStrider
Wait.......why are so many of us broke in THIS life again?
wazeewa
Because billionaires exist. That is why so many are broke. Because the top few aren't happy with the money they make, they need more, and more, and more, and more, and more. They could have everything and it STILL would not be enough for these greedy psychopaths.
Haxxor99
Ohohoh annnndd... he has to pay for medical care that doesn't cover burns. Oooohohoh and his time off requests are never approved.
pandajack
60 hours a week at Federal minimum wage with basic expenses of $15,000 a year: 41 million years.
wazeewa
Let's just make one tiny adjustment. Replace "Jeff Bezos" with "Billionaires" and then it works. You don't become a billionaire by being a good person.
soulthreat
And then, when hes just about there, boom, medical emergency and now hes bankrupt
xheartonfirex
Why Bezos when Musk is $250B more evil?
Xero999
That would take 3,857, 660.21 years of continuous work with no rests
spacerobot142
Lowest minimum wage of every country Amazon operates in
ominousaints
No fucking bathroom breaks either
MightyIink
16.8 million years.
puxorb
Yeah I just did the math too and it came out to about the same number you gave. Potentially longer if he has to take off for surgery or vacations.
ThadisJones
"When Jeff Bezos dies he should go to a hell-" all the words past this point are redundant
RectifierOfTheLame
"WORTH" AND "HAS" ARE DIFFERENT WORDS
Horus175
He still has to pay for rent and groceries as well, right?
Idontneedrealfacts
And medical insurance too, which is important be cause he gets kidney stones once a week on his one day off working.
pingaslover66
Medical insurance that does not cover the kidney stones would be funnier.
Aeonika
While trying to live in a major city with terrible public transportation
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
And driving a Cybertruck only. Bonus: When they catch fire Hell gets hotter!
BigDaddysMeatWagon
Honestly either way, it's going to be basically eternity.
jzbstl
Nah. Eternity is, well, eternal. This is just a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really long time.
I’ve always believed the idea of eternal suffering is too cruel: whatever a person has done in their brief stint on earth, eventually they’ve been punished enough and should be at least allowed to just go to oblivion. Maybe that’s millions of years, but still that’s not eternity.
Uhhjustaskingforafriend
And inflation continues while wages stay stagnent.
powerwagondontcare
...and taxes...
ArgentXero
The greatest fear of a Capitalist is to become a Worker.
funnyguy10
With a pineapple inserted for god measure !
SebastianCrab
The first time through should be him "earning" the amount he makes for the company. Then they should show him how much he has actually made with his wages once he gets to the goal.
Trankia12
An eternal punishment to be sure.
etopsirhc
Minimum wage coustomer service jobs where tipping is expected (making the wage even lower) but he only ever gets ppl that dont tip, and he still has to cover average living expenses while trying to make it to his "earned" money
LanceSackless
Yall, this can be a reality for these guys before they die if we truly want. Lock every billionaire into this shit and then change the rules for everyone else. Rules for me not for thee 🥰
rshini
And having the managers take any dine-and-dashing out of his paycheck (Which is BTW illegal but many managers get away with this due to poor enforcement of labor laws)
Izdleve
If anyone is making less than the state minimum wage because they aren't getting tipped enough, please look into your state's wage theft laws. Every single state says that businesses have to cover the difference between server wage and minimum wage when tips don't cut it. The next problem is that minimum wage still isn't enough to actually live on.
FutureBeachBum
That's cruel. I love that for him.
Anarchduke
No he gets tips, but the manager just steals them outright. If he complains he is told to talk to his union rep. Then the Devil laughs and says, "oh, sorry, you helped destroy the unions. Never mind."
InTangier
Meanwhile, every month he has a risk of "needing healthcare", putting him in the red, possibly in debt if he doesn't have the money, making the process longer. But I suppose he'll get that money really fast with those work ethics of his.
werrywerry
Or the nation could go to his house and fucking murder him?
Whole fucking world knows here he lives.
Mortbise
Add some nasty diseases in the air and over-inflated medical insurance, for good measure
BurlRavenscroft
Nah make him serve people who "make him earn the tip" (expect him to quietly be treated like shit, a minimum number of refills, remembering their usual order from last week, etc)
FartsSmellBad
Would be more appropriate if he worked a warehouse job 10hrs a day, no bathroom/water breaks in a 100+ degrees
RandomnessSlayer
His day job, then he goes to work as a server for a full shift https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MHprdnpmNnV0aHRxOXVoaGxtc2FjbW05NWtlenp5NnFuamoweGI0dyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/QqkA9W8xEjKPC/200w.webp
EveryGOPAccusationIsActuallyAnAdmission
And he has to pee into bottles
Smingersdidit
Honestly, anybody who doesn't tip should have to do this one, until they've earned the amount of money they would have spent if they did tip, that way it's fair to non-Americans.
Zyrixion
Mf people aren't paid enough to subsidize other people's wages completely. Like I'm going to tip if I go to a sit down restaurant or for delivery because those are services, but that's it, and it's not going to be massive. Miss me with the tip scales that START at 18%, 10-15% was what was considered proper before this insanity.
eppykaze
There are cultures in the world that see tipping as socially rude, and as such don't tip. You would punish them for that?
Smingersdidit
If they visit the US and still don't tip? Yes
TheGgreen100
Congratulations, you've been educated by corporations who would prefer that you pay their employee's salaries. Tipping culture is stupid, top to bottom. It should not exist. It should not have to exist. Companies should pay their employees fair wages. If the company cannot afford to do that, then the company is not a viable business and should not exist.
CallMeMcGyver
That's stupid because half the places you go now include a tip option added to an already inflated price... if I'm taking an item out of the cold case, to the register why am I paying a tip and are the employees even getting the tip? A restaurant I understand or somewhere where a service is actually being provided, not some halfassed grift where the company is tacking on another fee and the employees are getting cheated. Employees have deliberately skipped over tip screens telling me it's a scam
Trankia12
Tipping is supposed to be an optional compliment to the server. Not a requirement.
ArcUlfr
It should be that way, but it is not in the US. This is entirely fair for people who live in the US, understand (or should understand) that tips are the only way for a server to make anything approaching a living wage, and decide to not tip anyways.
Trankia12
If someone isn’t getting paid enough, they should take it up with their employer. That is not the customers responsibility.
rshini
And then they get fired.
TheCriticsWereConciseItOnlyTookFourLines
It's the laws we've passed in the U.S. Without tipping, restaurants would not be able to staff themselves (unless they paid far above the $2.75/hour minimum, which equates to around $5,700 per year on a full-time schedule)
Alurkerforcedtologin
While having to pay insane rent, and every time he goes bankrupt, he has to start over (forever starting over).
imlaughin
Rent taxes no overtime and feed all of his “kids”.
etopsirhc
no, he can never go bankrupt, only into debt, so he has to pay off that as well
zackingsman
Haha just like the poor people who declare bankruptcy and then after bankruptcy he can't obtain housing for 10 years just like poor people
SirRichardOfHead
zackingsman
LOL