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After a little while, the second hand embarrassment stops being just uncomfortable. At this point we're starting to wonder if you should have an adult taking care of you, maybe don't leave the house without wearing a helmet and a card on a chain around your neck with emergency information. This is like the principal of the school asking a student to prom from the back of a cruiser because, will, similar reasons.
We do enjoy zeds and the extra u in colour, rumour, and whatever other words are aboot, and we're okay missing the e in whisky.
We do have our own shit to work through, fair enough, but it is OURS to work through and we'd like to keep it that way.
TheFastpaws
America is a fascist shit hole full of awful people who won't stop their neighbor being kidnapped in broad daylight.
Sonicschilidogs
To his point, as an American, we also still have to complain about waiting 2 weeks for our medical test results.
mixiekins
also the bills can come up to a year or more later as a complete surprise, usually at the worst possible time.
PassionAggressive
One of the many reasons none of us go to fucking Rumford.
MrNobodyLivesHere
That cunt basically cut down everything we have and then goes on to say his shit is the best perfume in the world.
The biggest thing about not want to be absorbed by the USA if the idea of my children growing up to becoming an arrogant asshole like him.
debob
Hey Canada, think you could repeat history with 1814?
leroy666
This is simple: “Fuck him”!
bortlp
As an American, he's way off base about our healthcare. We also complain about the wait times.
Hexidimentional
They're not new lies, americans have been making up bullshit about canadian healthcare for decades because they dont want to admit our system works better.
Redshadow09
As Americans, I feel like we are becoming more and more Canadian, but by having to apologize to the world for the dumb shit the current president and republican politicians are saying/doing to the country and by extension the world. And yet we still dont have free healthcare this is bullshit.
BigKangDangaLangSlanga
Would you be willing to take Washington state as the newest Canadian province? I will learn the metric system, I promise.
Dreadric
Its like america, but educated
Catterverse
The thing is. Even if it wasn't free health care, America still fucks it up. I live in an EU country where it's not free. But it IS affordable. Had my gallbladder and stones removed recently. I went in through the ER. Stayed 3 nights. All of it including checkup after the procedure cost me +/- 300 euro. Our tax money makes sure we get to have this. And our wait times are pretty decent. Test results are usually a 2 day wait unless the tests cover a large array.
myheartisstarkmyspiritistargaryen
Don't mind them, they are idiots
DogsGoToHeavenCatsGoToHell
"lower hospital bills" is just some weasel word attempt to make people think "lower cost of healthcare in the US" I take it.
yea don't fall for that. The US has one of the most expensive healthcare systems in the world, simply because the insurance works as a middle man and take their cut.
Right wing Americans often criticize my country as a communist hellscape but my welfare cost me half as much as the average American and it covers everything.
Stay great Canada.
Raikupath
This person is using a reactivated account that hasn't written a single comment in 10 years and suddenly came back 3 days ago mostly writing political stuff against the US. It's a propaganda bot. Over 10 years ago they stated that they're a women and now they say they're a man. Read the comments I still have a screenshot of it if they delete it.
DogsGoToHeavenCatsGoToHell
Alright I can tell I angered the paid bots. I am going to block these comments so that you cant stalk on me :P
Axiomatic13
"I'm 15!"
"WHATEVER!"
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
nation543
Dear Canada,
Please burn down the White House again. Please make sure he's in there, too.
WillemHellfire
This is infuriatingly accurate.
yeahhedugit
Healthcare?
Che07
Kudos! Made my day! Canada strong!
weave
After three attempts at posting this finally it worked and I forgot to add the credit:
https://www.instagram.com/todmaffin
Nathanyel
Afaik you can edit the text below pics/clips
GenesisNynja
But then how would OP double dip and get extra internet points?
wannasee
Canada, could you please absorb all the blue states? We already know all the words to your national anthem.
Ishouldbemoreprivate
As a Canadian, I will say that "Go fuck yourself" is gaining traction as our response instead of "Elbows up." While we're still selective with who we respond to, the longer it takes Americans to sort this out, the more likely more of you are going to hear this from Canadians.
coastalfoundhound
It's true. I keep insulting the wrong Americans. The ones that deserve it the least. But this sentiment has been growing. There's a lot of good people down there, and millions of the dumbest assholes on the planet. They let it go too far.
IgnisInvictus
We do need a fucking adult to take care of us!
With healthcare! And environmental protections!
lovehandlesmessiah
That niece is pretty cocky for an 8-year-old…
ToenailClippingsJar
“I’m 15!”
lovehandlesmessiah
Whatever!
psmith00
Canada would never become a 51st state because all the provinces and territories would never put up with the idea of all being folded together into on unit like that. each province would want its own statehood so Canada would become the 51st through 64th states. that would end Congress as America knows it as there would be almost as many new House Representatives as California has and 26 new senators in the Senate. AND they'd likely become Bernie Sanders new allies in reforming America.
mixiekins
I'd hate to see all the burden of sorting our shit out, but it would be hilarious is if the US bumbled so hard that canada ended up upgrading to 64 provinces/territories (also I'm not going to lie, but the envy of wanting the same while being trapped here unable to relocate to a Big Boy country is palpable.)
TK421isAFK
But it'd be hilarious for thousands of US troops to stumble into Lethbridge and Red Deer thinking it was full of unarmed, passive Canadians.
psmith00
they'd have to time it so there was no hockey going on 'cause in a pinch all the locals would need to do was shout, "they have the puck." and point at the invaders.
leroy666
Right. Assholeberta is the one province that would welcome them with open arms. On their knees with mouths open.
leroy666
Do you really think an America that would annex Canuckistan would give the conquered a chance to have any statehood? If they try, kill any who are available for as long as you live.1/2
leroy666
2/2. Blow up pipelines, poison the water and go totally scorched earth. Make the Nazi march to Moscow look like a walk in the park.
helljack
As a born and bred native of Rumford, Maine I would like to apologize of our shittier natives.
KimbeauxSlice
Ayuh! Fortunately, at least in the Press Herald, I see more letters to the editor about us becoming the 11th province than w/e that fucking guy is spewing
ToSisPoS
I’d welcome you and your lush maples with open arms!
I’d even set a place for that kooky man from Bangor that writes the spooky books.
LeoFloof
No one would even notice. Just a nice, natural shift of that boarder down to the Piscataqua.
A girl can dream (of a North Atlantic trade union that turns into a beautiful mutually beneficial arrangement leading to the natural adoption of Maine as the 11th province).
KimbeauxSlice
Ha! Unfortunately, northern Maine likely has the voters Canada does not want, while SoMe def has more liberals, but many are NIMBY (see housing dev in Scarborough, Cape E., even Portland has signs on Forest Ave/302 against building more housing)
dynamojoe
All in a Four Nations jersey. Nice.
zafner
What's the deal with the Four Nations Jersey?
dynamojoe
It was a friendly hockey tournament between Canada, the US, Finland, and Sweden that happened when all the "51st state" noise was happening. It wasn't really so friendly - it was very spicy. There were some great long term implications as well in the NHL that worked for my team but that's beside the point. His Canada jersey personalized with NEVER 51 tells you who and where he is on the political dial.
zafner
Oh, okay, thanks. Yeah, I get the state reference, but I didn't know about this context. Appreciate it
theworldcouldbeflat
Maybe US media didn't cover the US anthem being drowned out by booing.
zafner
I have no idea, but either event is plausible to me: the booing or the lack of coverage of it.
NoGameOvers
There’s a Canadian sports caster named Steve Dangle, and when Canada scored the winning goal against America in the 4 Nations final, his call was, “CANADA WINS IN OVERTIME!!! YOU WILL NEVER HAVE OUR COUNTRY AND YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THIS TROPHY!!!” Canadians aren’t fucking around about this stuff.
dynamojoe
Dangle is awesome.
Neednoggle
Listen, I don't mean to be impolite (ok, actually I do), but if the US tries to take my country by force, I am willing to kill people over it. And I'm genuinely not joking about this.
mixiekins
you'd find plenty over here that will gladly assist 👉😎👉
LordofGoats
There is a difference between nice and polite, and I encourage all Canadians to remind America about the difference. If the US invades Canada, please feel free to use that list made at the Geneva Convention based on your previous war actions. Or, you know, get creative again. It's not a war crime the first time someone does it.
hannahbutnotreally
We do have a reputation of using the "hands-on" approach even when not necessarily... necessary. The last guy you want to meet in battle is a Canadian who hasn't bashed someone's teeth in on the ice in a while.
brownribbon
A good number of us Yanks are also willing to kill to preserve Canadian sovereignty.
Neednoggle
Thank you, honestly, that's a comfort to know
Hexidimentional
Its kill or be killed, the drugs that keep me alive are thousands of dollars under the usa system.
Bakefurner12
A free Canada is something I'm vested in ensuring the continuation of as an anti-Trump American.
Fevley
Burning the White House a second time would be pretty funny, ngl
hannahbutnotreally
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1bWMwaHpkcnVrMGpyb2hwazliaGh5bDdmMW42dTkwYnRranc0Nm5oYyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3o72FfM5HJydzafgUE/200w.webp
Neednoggle
It really would
rulerofthedingdongs
We see what’s happening in USA. The fucking second they try to put boots on the ground in Ontario, there will be a couple million angry Canadians bottlenecking Niagara, Windsor and Sarnia in 3 hours. With hockey sticks, lacrosse balls and Subway sandwiches. And don’t think we won’t drive to the Sault. We’re fucking there. In 24 hours, but we’re fucking there.
raydnjames
Sarnia is a great town. I love that side of the bridge. I'd always see kids jumping off the bridge and get taken down river by the current and got jealous cuz i was never allowed.
GenStrike
Better get comfortable with violence. We're not meeting them with Subway sandwiches. We're not meeting them with sticks. We're meeting them with every weapon in the arsenal.
rulerofthedingdongs
I suspect people look at California & DC and think ‘if American people aren’t actively fighting to save their own country, in states where everyone is armed, how can a quiet country like Canada fight?’
They must remember, the police & military in those states are in their own country, put there by their own president. It’s hard to fight that. But the second they cross into Canada, they are an invading military and will be greeted as such. We will not go gentle into that dark night. We will rage.
whyisallthecheesegone
No worries friend. If we try that shit, plenty of us will be doing the same from this side as well. A free Canada is the only hope some of us have these days.
leroy666
They will win, and kill me. But I will bot go down peacefully.l
raydnjames
There's some of us on the American side that are ready to help you. We just need someplace safe to dry off after we swim over
vrockurmouth
I’ve been eyeballing Canada from my side of the Detroit river. Looking mighty fine