kenistod
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Jun 29, 2026 10:25 PM
kenistod
28221
1072
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bigdix69420
Doubt
Heelcat70
His cousin may not drive, but she's ready to go!
NoNoNodontstoparockin
Brewster's Millions anyone ?
MrGhostbuster
Can we see pictures of the hearse, please?
johnblood616
That uncle's name? Albert Einstein
delpharseven
Actual velociraptor specimens compared to 1.8 m human: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e8/Velociraptor_size.png
MendoncycleSmith
Your uncle was a good one.
EveryoneSaysEverythingHereisAI
Zillow & Redfin both feature specific filters to exclude homes with HOAs. On Zillow, select HOA fees in the filters menu, choose $0 or No HOA fee, and uncheck the box for "include homes with incomplete HOA data" to avoid excluding older neighborhoods that lack HOAs but have missing data fields. Redfin is frequently recommended by users as a more reliable for this specific search. Realtor.com does not have a dedicated HOA filter, though it displays HOA fees in the monthly payment breakdown.
sentientbunnysuit1
Just imagine a corrupt tyrannical principality but the tyrant is a retired sales manager named Brenda.
eastend666
Whatever rocks your boat, I guess.
Sorrontis
Well, that's great for the fucking economy. Good job uncle
FuzzBall87
Mongo is appalled
Sunflier
icouldntthinkofabetterusername2
Ah yes, HOA in “the land of the free”.
DdCno1
Similarly, people getting harassed and even arrested for walking or cycling. Heard plenty of stories of Europeans just going on a stroll in the US and experiencing this. Then there's schools micromanaging, surveilling and controlling their students' lives. Just not happening in Europe. Americans have far fewer freedoms than Europeans, but most are completely unaware of this.
BurnieCinders
I'm pretty sure that's not how wills or inheritance works at all.
LordBrandonTheBold
I wish I had a rich uncle...a runcle, if you will.
wozat
(Bryan Cranston as Hal:) "Ha! You said runcle! Now you have to say uncle in my butt"
AtmaDarkwolf
If I was rich, this is the shit I would leave in my will. Sadly, I am poor, so my will(for the sake of those I leave behind) is non existent so that nobody is left to suffer any debts I may have(which I do not, but the cost of disposing my meat puppet, with no one to inherent my estate, goes to the local government)
LutraLazuli
Honestly, it be awesome
dingybasement350
It's wild to me that anyone would willingly buy a house in an HOA neighborhood. If you bought the fucking house you should be allowed to do whatever you want with it. HOAs have always been dogshit and shouldn't exist anymore. They started out as purely racist (and I'm sure largely still are) and continue to exist in the 21st century so miserable old farts with nothing else in their lives can bully people over the absolute dumbest shit. Why are people still putting up with this shit?
GreenMnM
Chaotic good.
Rips4w
That raptor is fucking sweet.
Nightcaste
Hierarchy Of Assholes
Flamingphoenix32
I want a bat house in my back yard to screw with the HOA. And whwn they complain aboug the screeching at night, I can say its just my soul leaving my body
warpfactor1
So $8k total?
Meh
I almost thought it was gong to be a leadin to describing the plot of brewster's millions
charondaboatman
Well shit. Now I want a velociraptor.
SOLARvsFACISM
I want a hearse.
agentcutielocks
To drive or to ride?
Akule
Looks like it is on sale at The Interior Gallery.
https://theinteriorgallery.com/Velociraptor-Statue-Life-Size-Raptor-10-FT_p_6553.html
charondaboatman
OMG. So is the Huge Pterodactyl Flying Life Size Statue Hanging 17.8 foot wingspan!!! Sonofabitch!!
weidermeijer
IN THIS ECONOMY?!?
iamthemurray
I'll take things that never happened but would still be funny anyway for 500 Alex
crateo
You are absolutely right. A real-life velociraptor would be two feet tall, tops.
RuffyRuffHausen
Trolling from the grave, legend
DVSBSTrD
The dead giveaway was that they only bought one. Everyone knows velociraptors hunt in packs.
JimmyWalkerTexasRanger
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1YzdtYXkxbG81aDdwNGk0MnZncGk3ODJ0YzR3OXJiNGgxZ3p3bXF0biZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/BUk0JmQ3WsoN7cj5YF/200w.webp
howaboutnevernow
You only see the one they want you to see. The other 3 are about to pounce.
dingybasement350
Jeopardy has no 500 dollar clue.
DLoSer
Tell me you're young without telling me you're young...
iamthemurray
I'll take things I never noticed for 600 Alex
dingybasement350
If I wanted to be really pedantic I'd also point out that Alex Trebek died and the current host is Ken Jennings.
iamthemurray
I know he passed but it sounds better with Alex. He will always be the superior host, even in death.
thotheger
Join your HOA and dismantle it. They are a cancer
SOLARvsFACISM
My friend did this. He's currently the Chairman of the Board and eliminated about 60% of the bylaws. He also had them get new bids for road maintenance and darn if the former Chair's brother-in-law wasn't the low bidder this time and the low bidder does much better work than the brother-in-law.
mondeca
If your HOA sucks, then get on the board and either fix it or destroy it
NinjablazerZero
There is no fixing them. They were born out of a racist desire to keep minorities out and have only evolved to become a way for power hungry exclusionary assholes to make themselves feel big while trying to further isolate their communities into hyper bubbles.
They can only and should only be destroyed and legislated out of existence.
BrockEffingSamson
Sure. Quick question: Who maintains the parking lot, exterior walls, and pool at a condominium?
NinjablazerZero
Who owns the parking lot, exterior walls, and condominium?
I also didn't realize that hiring contractors to maintain a property required being given authority over how people live in their own homes and who gets to live there.
But I'm sorry, you are right, I have to submit myself to authoritarian assholes to have parking space. There is absolutely no other way to do that otherwise. My mistake.
BrockEffingSamson
The people who live there own it in common. Who is going to hire the contractor? Be fucking specific, you're dodging the question because you know you're wrong. If you want to be a shitty sarcastic asshole about there being no other way to do it, then propose another way to do it. I'll wait.
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
A condominium corp is a little different from a suburban hoa, now isn't it?
BrockEffingSamson
No, they're literally the same thing. The property management company the other person mentioned is just a business you can hire to make the job easier on the residents.
SOLARvsFACISM
A Property Management Corp (which covers condos and housing developments) is, but a Condo Board is the same thing as an HOA.
lonosham
HOAs are very confusing to non-Americans
CandidGamera
The HOA hypocrisy is peak American mindset if you think about it. "Oh this neighborhood is so pretty and calm, let's buy a house here WAIT there are petty and over the top rules and they apply to ME?! Fuck HOAs!" is very similar to "I don't want to pay taxes and let the government meddle with things WAIT I can't afford healthcare or education and corporations fuck me over at every turn?! Fuck capitalism!"
TheRealFireFrenzy
Look up why lawns are racist, that'll fuck with your head :P
AgamemnonsMemes
American's obsession with electing (or allowing the random appointment of) people in power (and also "power" as in HOA) is WILD to me. Sheriffs and judges are elected, HOA's exist.. it feels so antithetical to how america portrays itself with individualism and resistance of power.
Dannyalcatraz
HOAs are a tool to help homeowners control the overall nature, quality of life, etc. in their neighborhoods.
Unfortunately, a lot of them have been magnets for petty tyrants.
So far, I’m undefeated tussling with ours.
Rogerwilco1974
I don't get it at all. I own my house. I will do whatever the fuck I want with my money on my land. You don't like it? Fucking cry more.
GodHelpMeToBeGood
Some people believe HOAs are like unions. But they're more like buy a property infested with rats that come nibble on random pieces of your property.
FelonyRaptor
Yeah... For a country that claims to love freedom so very much it's a super weird thing to have.
Tjitso
HOAs are basically daycare for Karens
unluckyandbored
Simply put, they're organizations made for banks to control who lives in a neighborhood without being overtly racist.
martineb72
Think about the Council in most little towns in England. Are they really that different?
TheNoirAntagonist
Basically they were initially established as gateways to block neighborhoods from including racial groups other than white people. Then when a law said they couldn't do that they evolved into a method to penalize anyone from decreasing property values, now they are run by either the American "Karen's" that just hate everyone or by a corporate shell group that built the neighborhood and use illegal surveillance to assign fines that are collected by the corporation.
InsertTabA
How are you going to prove you have freedom without some Karen trying to prove you don't.
FaeVikingPrincess
They're not confusing at all when you realize they started out as racist practices (still used that way in many places) and then some Karens wanted to have power over others. And in some cases they're literally just trying to steal property from their neighbors. See it all makes sense if you realize that a lot of Americans are fucking selfish racist bastards
insertaclevernamehere
AH. The land of the free. /s
mrsdowneyjr
I like the idea in theory that a neighborhood is guaranteed to have a uniformity that stabilizes property values and prevents things like blight. Some people don't want to live with the discomfort of hectic variety. Unfortunately it was born from racism and bigotry, excluding strangers and enabling tyrants.
Imademyselfsquirtle
Scam and grift
PunnyTiger
imagine all the small, shitty people got together and decided they got to decide how everyone else should live. the crusades were europian, weren't they?
zweifel
Yeah, but planning permission in the UK is that much worse. I mean, jesus christ, man!
TheWombatStrikesAgain
From what I understand, they're like a moral police that tells people what to do with their property, and whose power can range from "annoying" to "can legally steal your house from you".
nikinnorway12
is it something like a borettslag in Scandinavia?
GenerallyLurkInBed
I’m an American and have never been associated with one and don’t understand why anyone would choose to
JaimeLannistersRightHand
If next door Karen wants to complain about my newly built deck, she has a set period of time do so, if she's late she can go fuck herself and her fake mink scarf
Canigetbannedagain2
Depending on the state/area, some HOAs can tow your car if they don't want it there, or cut down your shrubs or trees if it makes the other homes look bad. Force you to paint your house only colors they approve of, *But wait, it gets worse "
Forensickle
Conditions like that in wills are very confusing to non Americans. You can put conditions like that in your will pretty much anywhere, and then they are promptly ignored by the estate, executor, and the courts
GloveFullaVaseline
It's where you pay a bunch of money every month so that some of your neighbors (THE BOARD) can threaten you for dead patches in your lawn with fines
QueenOfTheFey
Wait...you have to pay to be in an HOA?! what the f even is that
GloveFullaVaseline
You know, enforcers to keep the neighborhood "nice." Not on a personal level, being nice... Lol fuck no! They'll pray for you if you have cancer but if you make the neighborhood look bad you will be banished like the poor fucking doomed family in the vvitch
QuartzPoker
They're like town councils in the UK, but smaller.
LobotomyPending
they're confusing to Americans too. why TF do they exist
nuke034
The same reason as most shit things in the US, racism.
HOA's and similar orgs first became a thing to enforce white only neighborhoods. They came into being in parallel with White Flight and redlining.
LobotomyPending
that is indeed shitty but also not surprising to learn. I had assumed it was just for suburban homeowners to "keep property values high"
notmyrealface
It's fascsim. It's a way for people (usually the richest) to be able to control their neighbors.
dingybasement350
HOAs were outright invented to keep black people from moving into certain neighborhoods.
notmyrealface
Yes, it started because of fascist ideals, and it continues that tradition today but against more than skin color.
gtotherizzle
They are useless
futhor
They are confusing to me, an American
FirefighterCaboose
Picture a stereotypical upper-middle class Karen given a modicum of power over how your house "presents", and extrapolate from there. Some HOAs are probably actually good, but i can assume the bulk are terrible.
Psycopaz
Hoa's are a lot like a communist government. Makes sense until people get involved.
TheForgewright
They're literally there to protect the perceived value of capital. Might be a miss on the comparison.
Psycopaz
Doesn't matter what they are for, when people get involved in both they both go astray from their supposed purpose and turn into a means for a few people to have power over others.
TheForgewright
That's just corruption. Communist, capitalist, nobility, it all gets worse when we leave it unbridled.
ChiLLeCheeze
HOA's are a lot like the American Government. There to pretend they're doing something, but only there to fuck shit up for everyone involved, while enriching themselves.
drwarp
It's called freedom, look it up. /S
smokinghashalg
Its hit or miss. Its a way to get your neighbors to have to keep their lawns nice and not have a trashy home basically. I'd prefer my neighbors to keep their lawn nice and not looking like i live in a community of heathens. The Dino is a plus in my opinion but thats the other side of hoa. You got people bored complaining a lot for no real reason.
BarryTheCyborg
Pretty much every town and city already has ordinances about taking care of your home and making sure it's not a hazard to neighbors. HOAs were only created to keep black people out of the suburbs and force them into ghettos. If you want everyone's property to look the same, go live in an apartment.
BorkSamson
And id prefer if none of you had lawns and the Earth wasnt dying. So. I guess what you want, when it comes to other peoples property, shouldnt matter?
smokinghashalg
I mean, if I have a home and I can literally be touching it and my neighbors at the same time because theyre so close, I cant exactly ignore their yard. Im pretty sure if you lived next to someone who didn't believe in taking trash out every week, it can become a smelly problem for everyone. Use common sense here. I know it may be hard..
somnif
For UK folks, imagine if your local Council could fine you for random shit like leaves in your yard or decorations staying up a day too long
QuartzPoker
From what I have heard, some of them do
SheepySleepySmuggler
They do issue warnings and potentially fines BUT usually with clauses like "if this is resolved in 28 days, no fine will apply" or similar as they can't enforce the fines unless there is a public health (vermin) or public safety (fire etc) risk. Councils will try and resolve the issue without fines as enforcement is costly if it goes to court and often results in the Council remediating the issue if the property owner can't or won't pay. It's formal nagging and then a resigned "I'll fix it"
StillScreamingIntoTheVoid
Real HOAs are in charge of collecting funds, doing inspections, and hiring contractors to maintain shared spaces for groups of homeowners, things like road maintenance, shared utilities and storm water facilities.
They can do a decent job at this. But you'll also notice these are all things a city would do too. Usually what they really are is a way for contractors to use lower standards that the city allows and pass the long term maintenance cost on to homeowners. And that's before the Karens.
CyberHexx
Imagine a small little fascist dictatorship for only your neighborhood and all your neighbors are either members or victims. It doesn't have to be this way, though. My uncle lives in an HOA that has the responsibility of taking care of the private road network for their little neighborhood. It only has the right to collect dues for the roadwork, and requires both 100% attendance and a unanimous vote in order to change it's rules. This guarantees no overreach.
crazyspelling
I've been in a multi-year dispute with a road association like that. It got taken over by a pair of embezzlers 25-odd years ago and now the roads are crumbling.
CyberHexx
I'd sue them. Roads crumbling when they're responsible seems like obviously dereliction of duty. Especially if you get everyone in the community onboard.
crazyspelling
Working on it.
Onebigcanuck
You don't even have to be part of the neighborhood to experience the joy of the fascism. Just have to live next to the neighborhood and they will try to invade and impose their will like you are Poland.
zombiejedediah
The founding fathers of your uncle's HOA saw how the US was going & decided against that.
CyberHexx
Pretty sure they had a bad one before, and when they ousted the old leadership, instead of disbanding the HOA, they just stripped it of everything except the one thing nobody wanted to be responsible for and made it impossible to screw everyone else over.
kahlas
HOAs are something people who want to tell other people how to live look for when buying a home. Then get all surprised when all their neighbors go and tell them how to live. It appeals to bossy people who want to control others. They don't think that they will be the ones getting controlled also. I will never join an HOA and my life goal is to build a home bordering an HOA and violating all their rules while they cant do a thing about it.
Quessir
The American flag sitting outside of every house every single day of the year is very confusing to non-Americans.
MoonyT
mine mostly just collects dues to upkeep the swimming/fishing pond and area for the past 30 years. Until a new neighbor moved in with 5 dogs. It Made life annoying for them for months untill they found out they couldnt really do anything about it. local laws have a limit of 4, but that law has litterally never been enforced, and the police dont want to enforce it. The dogs are fine. the one thats big one barks when you walk by, but like thats just dog behavior.
DdCno1
The dog that barks doesn't get sued by the HOA.
ThinkThisOut
Here in America we force people to participate in each other’s ideology. It’s why we’re all so pissed lol
NothingPrince
The unfree country
ThinkThisOut
You’re sounding conservative
NonMAGA
Like most stupid things, HOAs were originally a good idea. Your neighbor can't paint their home purple polka dots or fail to mow their lawn. It has become a power trip by the few people that WANT to have a say in whether one can put a velociraptor toy in their front yard or have a deck that's 6 inches longer than mandated. Wife and I are house hunting and researching the HOA has become as much of a chore as finding something under a million dollars that we can live with (HCOL area).
RockTheBackblast
Why can't someone paint their home with purple polka dots? That sounds glorious, not a "bad idea that has to be stopped". HOAs sound like control-freak abusive nightmares.
BlindGardener
Fuck is wrong with painting a house with purple polka dots? And if your lawn needs to be mowed, rip it out and replace it with a native plant yard.
VinnieJonesDiary
Why the fuck would it be any business of mine what colour my neighbour paints there house or whether they cut their grass???
Genuinely can't understand how you could think that's in any way a reasonable idea.
CandidGamera
The polka dots you object to are somebody's velociraptor. You're a Karen in the making.
lonosham
Can you please explain what an HCOL is to someone with universal healthcare?
NonMAGA
High Cost of Living. We live just north of New York City in the place the (generally) high incomes of the city want to move when they have kids. Even as the market cools off slightly in the nation as a whole, things are still rising quickly here.
psugab
No, HOAs were originally racist
NonMAGA
They were originally "officially" a selling point for living in close proximity without having your investment deteriorate due to shitty neighbors. Like my above examples, racism was one major way in which they were inappropriately used. I didn't mean to gloss over the racism part, but was just trying to explain why the above example exists. Apologies.
weidermeijer
Like having the wrong color neighbors.
Kalli
No, psugab is right. They were made and implemented in the US to keep suburban areas white. Like literally one of the first in Washington state was formed explicitly for: "No part of said property hereby conveyed shall ever be used or occupied by any Hebrew or by any person of the Ethiopian, Malay or any Asiatic race." Made illegal in '68, at which point they evolved into what they are today (a way to make undesirables miserable / leave).
WoeToHice
I'm not sure I share your concept of a "good idea". I would have agreed if you had cited sanitary reasons (e.g. your neighbors aren't allowed to leave trash lying around to attract rats) or even just basic human decency (e.g. your neighbors aren't allowed to play ear-splittingly loud music at 2 am so you can't sleep). But why should I give a shit if you paint your house a weird color or fail to mow your lawn to some regulation height?
nicelyvillainous
In a some areas, not mowing your lawn creates a habitat for dangerous snakes or rats or other pests that will spread from that yard. Ticks, if nothing else, love tall grass.
NonMAGA
I probably shouldn't have said "good" - perhaps "reasonable" was the right word as it was ostensibly to protect the value of the neighborhood assets.
Babomonkey
Because if you're trying to sell your house and one neighbor has a polka dot house and the other a three foot high lawn then you're gonna probably have to drop your sell price.
BlindGardener
Bullshit, if my neighbor had a purple polkadot house, I’d charge people extra for getting to live next to that awesomeness.
VinnieJonesDiary
So? Literally every other thing I own loses value after I buy it, why should I get to dictate the behaviour of others so I can sell my stuff at a good price?
The idea that homes are investments is fucked up.
InfocalypseRising
It makes sense if your country is controlled by a bunch of old fucking farts with nothing better to do than stick their noses in everyone else's business.
Lynkfox
Or those HOAs managed by uncaring corporations who use it to generate fees as part of their profit structure
weidermeijer
Conservatives.
DrBlackJack
Isn't that what they said?
modis
But…but, the property values! Who would want to move into a neighbourhood with dinosaurs in people’s yards?
BeingABotIsRad
You'd think the answer would be "dinosaurs" but alas, those are the ones complaining.
SqueezitTheClown
Guisso14
Basically on top of the government telling you what you and and cant do with your land, a bunch of Karen's also do it
HighSorcerer
Usually not even a bunch, its typically like 3-5 depending on the size of the neighborhood they terrorize.
Guisso14
A group of Karen's is called a bitching
jayman0123
HOAs were originally created to keep white neighborhoods white. Strict rules that could be enforced at someone's leisure and used to kick out black people when they moved in. Now HOAs are used to keep a "certain kind of people" out which is poor and/or people of color.
nanabroccolifart
This
alltherobots
They used to be used to keep out the blacks. They still are, but they used to be, too.
FaeVikingPrincess
it's also used as a scheme to steal property. Or for old fart Karens to exert power over others
crazyspelling
This is also why shopping malls were created. White flight wasn't enough, they wanted wholly private town squares they could exclude everyone. Just like HOa's, they got away with it for about 10 years before the two civil rights acts came down requiring any place purportedly open to the public for business not discriminate (openly).
Terran81
Was checking comments to see if someone explain this before I repeat it. +1