Historynlocalgist
1849
41
16
Basically, it was a yearly practice, at the last month of the summers, the Pharoah will come, take of his clothing, do some stimulation, jerk off and then would get back to his day.
It also had Religious value there, not something just for pleasure... Read full story here https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1LL5PM1YhM/
wherethehorriblethingsare
Someone told Trump this and now the Reflecting Pool is green.
Gr8OldOne
It's good to be the pharaoh!
OregonComputerGuy
Seems slaves did the work
SnorHEEdenRAden
My homie ain't masturbatin', he gettin' that Ibis honked by his boi there
MissDeeMeanor
I keep mine smooth, you keep yours smooth
CrisprCAS
Every year the Pharaoh will come you say?
ShimmerinStrider
This river is now fertile!
lechante
Yes if he did not, the floods would not return
duktayp
It was to ensure quality copper production
DutchBoeremeisie
Since when is Facebook a valid source?
maybeamonster
pretty sure the pharoah was just leading the party. all the dudes lined the nile to perform the ritual and ensure it flooded again for the next year's crops
ThatSonOfaBitch
First served, first come.
Txernobog
Seems more a circumcision https://jamestabor.com/egyptian-circumcision-before-the-time-of-abraham/
salunatics
History repeats itself... monthly.
glovelyday
That river ain't gonna fertilize itself. Much like socks.
iPez
I grew up hearing homo erotic intercourse was wrong and unnatural but it seems most of it was due religious choices in the 19th century as anglo cultures became predominant and history was rewritten to make it look it always was like that.
salunatics
joshcrimson
While the evidence for the actual practice is disputed by historians, I like to believe it's true just so we can say that, historically, Cleopatra, Nefertiti, Hatshepsut, etc. all had to squirt into the Nile for religious purposes.
abraxasfury
But when I do it, I get arrested
darthstormer
It's good to be Pharaoh
bloobiebloob
maybe your nekhakha isn't impressive enough.
Elkku
It probably helps if you happen to be pharaoh
1reallyhappydude
Probably a lot of fanfare involved back then. maybe was a public holiday with contests, souvenirs even. Spunk in the water, gism in the sky, could be the theme song. Think big, invite a friend or two!
bananabonanza3
That doesn’t seem fair.gif
Optodata
*masturbate
Doismellbacon
You really put the U in masturbate (I'm sorry, I couldn't not)
VolcanoHerder
This does not appear to depict masturbation at all. Where are my two dudes to help when I masturbate?
BeTheFirstToComment
The crocs
bloobiebloob
my liege. (bowing before you)
k5user
time for your royal bath ..
VastMajorityRule
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1b3VlMnU3dTRldW9vdDY1eG5xNmI2YXY3aGpyNDcxN3d4a3UyNm0yciZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/sysVojjv4g7UQ/200w.webp
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
at the last month of the summers, the Pharoah will come
JarJarDrinks
God creates foreskins, God then demands men cut them off. What?
raitchison
Many religious rules were created because bad things happened to people. Homeboy got sick after eating (undercooked) pork? God must not want us to eat pork.
In the case of circumcision, I'd imagine that especially back then with limited bathing options and lack of knowledge about hygiene that an uncircumcised dick was _quite_ nasty a lot of the time. Probably not just gross it likely also lead to actual health problems. Even today a circumcised dick is significantly less likely to get STDs
tex65
Btw, this is actually the oldest known illustration of male circumcision in human history
wesruv
AND there is no hard evidence of pharaohs having to ejaculate into the Nile.
Take that any way you would like.
DeepFriedAndSanctified
Heh. Hard evidence.
DeepFriedAndSanctified
Makes sense. It's definitely not a picture of masturbation.
trracer
https://ieltslounge.com/masterbate-or-masturbate/
bloobiebloob
Gracias, Mr. Chips.
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
I guess a portmanteau is appropriate if you're really good at it.