icycouture

13673 pts · December 10, 2018


tortoise momma 🐢❤️🐢

Shell rubs plz!!!

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

a scritch machine like this would feel so much better for him!³

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

a growth spurt, he rubs his shell on the walls. The vet recommended rubbing his shell w coconut oil, which helps somewhat, but I feel like²

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Man i gotta learn some basic woodworking bc my tortoise would LOVE this!!! I've had to put cardboard on my baseboards bc every time he has ¹

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hey no worries i thought your comments were hilarious!

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ah shit i really need to learn to read usernames haha

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ha! I could see that working as an ad campaign! See my reply to the other dude's comment about basically being a madam yrs ago. Good times.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

security so for a while i was basically a madam. But these days im too tired to do crazy shit like that. Also I stopped doing heroin lol.²

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Funny story, back when I was doing lots of drugs most of my friends were hookers but I was really good at getting them clients & doing ¹

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

(for real though I'm jk. I would miss my tortoise too much lol)

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I mean at this point in my life id probably be cool with taking that chance lol

4 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Oh nooo please don't kidnap me and give me thousands of dollars noooooo

4 years ago | Likes 98 Dislikes 5

Omg JULIUS SQUEEZER!! MY TORTOISE & I LOVE YOU!!!

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Actually now that I think about it, that's the ONLY way I've ever seen haldol given, lol

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Commonly given bc u've had a manic freakout & the security guard just tackled u, nurse pulls ur pants down and gives u a shot in the butt

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

box turtles though, they are such amazing and hearty little shell babies! ⁴

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

just too dry to do that here. Also, Ty LOVES sitting on my bed and his fuzzy blankie so he's not exactly an "outdoorsy guy" lol. I love ³

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

at all! They're native to the Amazon rainforest so need lots of warmth & humidity. I'd love to keep him outdoors but we're in AZ so it's ²

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So Tyrus is a red footed tortoise (vet thinks he could also have some cross breeding bc of how fast he grew). They don't hibernate/brumate ¹

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Next time you're in the psych ward ask em for the booty juice (haldol) its like this times 1000. Lol

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Haha no worries, happens to the best of us! I will give him lots of shell rubs on your behalf when he wakes up!

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Its okay! Just glad we got to send you a little tortoise love. Keep it slow and steady my friend ??

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Lol this comment section is a fkn mess. But Ty doesn't mind bc tortoises can't read! ??

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Goots!

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I hope so too, but it may take a long time. Its been like 6 years since I was homeless in Chicago and I still can't eat deep dish pizza :(

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

MONARCH OF DRIP GOD DAMNNNNN

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

THEY ARE GLORIOUS PANTS!!!!!!!

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0