Went to costa Rica for thanksgiving and found this little guy underneath the bed in the cabin on the beach we stayed in.
23
4
300
MRW when I show up for work at 8am to prep my specials for dinner service and servers keep eating it.
12
5
296
Tired of all the movies in which the good guys win all the time.
1
9
309
Incase anyone was wondering what the primal cuts of a unicorn are.
10
7
287
Human I told you once. Two pets of my belly will suffice!
9
0
174
MRW my Fiance walks in on me masturbating.
79
8
806
MRW I hear people say that they would do anything to be able to do something.
18
9
136
Mrw everyone is talking about protesting police violence and north Korea.
14
2
4409
MRW when my phone is crapping out on me.
-6
9
153
Don't tell me what to do!
-5
0
414
MRW I get home and there's a whole box of assorted Dunkin Donuts on the counter and a full gallon of whole milk in the fridge.
31
7
387
Every morning my SO tries to wake me up at 7 am when she wakes up.
24
4
672
I agree.
76
46
231
confession but not ashamed of my account.
34
48
77
MRW when my girlfriend suggest I get a manicure with her.
34
4
117
MRW a spider crawls into my tank while i'm trying to save a Russian chick.
-2
6
177
That moment when you think it's gold.
63
9
136
Happy Easter, fuckers.
7
2
49
NASA’s Kepler Telescope has stumbled upon one of the most fascinating discoveries so far – a colossal artificial megastructure believed to have been constructed by an advanced alien civilization.
9
30
870
MRW all the kids get together for the holidays.
22
2
53
Went to my parents house and opened a childhood box they had. I knew I still had my bible somewhere around.
28
11
88
I have owned this action figure of sniper wolf from metal gear solid for twenty years. I finally took it out of the box. Felt great to open it finally.
12
9
268
I love amazon Q&A.
15
1
58
Sir Freddie Mercury with cats. Nuff said.
28
6
131
My teenage year just came in its pants. Totally forgot about this game. Jk. I think about all the time.
4
7
116
Own all the Bond movies. This is still my favorite one of them all.
14
12
144
Hipster lama
38
6
1832
I am a god.
2
2
74
MRW I realize i'm wrong but too embarrassed to admit it.
25
7
337
A different way to look at batman.
73
34
1464
I want to make this into a real sign for my apartment. You can't walk away from any beverage for more than a minute without it being knocked over.
24
6
95
Someone came into my restaurant tonight and drew this. Told their server to give it to the chef as a gift for a great meal. He called it fifteen minute Batman.
11
4
87
MRW I make an awkward exit at work and head for the bathroom.
50
4
264
Got these at work today. Story of my life. Only giraffes apply.
5
6
65
I present salmon crudo with an orange gastrique. A new dish I created for the restaurant I work at.
19
21
115
Turned it into a checklist at work. Only one to go.
1
6
129
As someone who suffers from severe insomnia, I suffer from vision stress such as this. Been awake for 60+ hours and I get quick burst of flashes like you see below. Anyone else suffer from this?
30
39
1362
Dealing with severe insomnia, This is how I feel when I decide to go to bed early but know it's pointless.
63
13
411
MRW I finally watched Curb your enthusiasm after everyone at work rants about it for years.
5
2
9685
How my living room looks Christ.as morning.
13
2
86
New tattoo
13
20
73
Whenever I meet a girl and she asks questions about me. I'm not very smooth.
12
7
374
MRW my ex sends me an invite to her wedding after six weeks of us being broken up.
134
41
221
Made furniture out of tofu for the sexy carrot I pulled out of the garden at work.
10
7
503
Our seats the wild hockey game tonight vs the oilers! Lets play hockey!!!
13
4
135
No membership fee?!
3
1
57
Forever alone Christmas breakfast.
16
4
120
Storm Trooper problems
35
7
105
MRW when I tell my girlfriend I'm full then I order another basket of breadsticks and she just stares at me.
26
5
151
Anyone else a fan of James Stewart?
11
16
77
How I feel tonight when everyone is calling me and congratulating me about an achievement at work. I feel like I just did my job that I was hired to do to begin with.
15
13
193
Bought all seasons of Star Trek NTG on blu ray. Haven't watched these in 15 years. Just finished season one. So happy I bought this.
26
22
105
I need to rethink my life. I'm so irresponsible.
18
5
100
How I feel being an insomniac, completely exhausted bit cannot fall asleep.
49
13
721
An oldie but still how I feel about the universe.
59
6
98
Can I use it for chap stick?
19
8
71
MRW I got a call tonight from the restaurant owner and the Executive Chef of the restaurant I work at that they loved my dish.
57
28
226
How I feel after watching breaking bad.
49
6
132
Straight to the point, mr. Space cat
18
2
702