MrGjownik

14700 pts ยท May 26, 2015


You want to get your parents to sell your kidneys? Because that's how you get your parents to sell your kidneys.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My dog can roll over!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Understanding only about half these as I am on my mobile device

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nope. Not enough Rooty Tooty point n shooties for this map

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I relate to this so hard that I'm now just realizing that I haven't been to class in two weeks because I've been on imgur the whole time....

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I guess I can't prove that I'm not the wife, but she always tells me to get off imgur and then proceeds to take my phone to updoot stuff.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

..... Ahem. Yes.... You are pardoned.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She told me to kill you, but she will also accept virtual belly rubs instead

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She did.... She hears all

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes! She can be a little shit sometimes....

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

In like ten years it's going to be a real conspiracy theory

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Truth, but like I said, I've only had AT&T before. I thought LTE was bad because I only had it once on that service. Now it's all the time!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No dude, look up Hamilton Michigan on your map, then look a little further down and you'll see the Kalamazoo river. That's what I'm sayin.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My family owns a cabin on the Kalamazoo a couple of miles south of Hamilton. But when I had AT&T my service was shit in comparison.

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I get solid coverage in most places I go (I spend a lot of time in suburban Chicago, rural Michigan, and Minneapolis.

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Um... How dare you say that the brave little toaster was "overlooked"

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Could? Or definitely would?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I am terrified of ants. I used to have recurring nightmares that I would get dragged into their colony and eaten... But good job!!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good Ol' crazy eyes! What would we do without ya?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Let's all go to the fountain in dt napes and get drunk on cold medicine guys

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Omg this is way better than Taco Bell fire sauce

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My wife is pretty sexy when she does most things, including when she gets pissy.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You know what scares me? My bank account on a regular basis!

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Please God not another Indiana Jones movie. My heart can't take it

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*Cough* REAGANSWARONDRUGS! *Cough*

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I live in Illinois, most of my extended family is from Michigan so it's about 3 hours. They all gave me moneyz.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That friend that keeps sending links to his "Fire" mixtape on soundcloud is also delusional.

10 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Does somebody have the enlarge bed picture of the letter in the "Why do women always go for assholes?" Start pack?

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Your hand will be extra dead and a half if you put your hand too close to the ejection system

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When I'm not in the mood to bang my wife she says "You're not in the mood? Let me fix that." Then she straddles me. Works every time.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0