FreeDadHugs

12919 pts · April 1, 2023


Younger GenXer/Elder Millennial on the internet doing internet stuff

As I was signing the paperwork to join the Air Force, although I was told it was likely I'd be a linguist because of my test scores, I had to list a second choice anyway. I said "Well, I heard you always need air traffic controllers." The guy across the desk looked at me with a heavy expression and said "Uh, I can put that down, but before I do I need to tell you that that is the most stressful non-combat role we have." Really made me think. (No, I did not become an air traffic controller.)

1 year ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

"FLOWER girl, I said. F. L. O. W. E. R. What the hell were you thinking?" -the wedding planner

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nothing says ‘haute cuisine’ like two grains of rice, a crystal of salt, one carefully trimmed edge of a red cabbage leaf, a distant rumour of sauce, and half a thimble of mouse milk to wash it all down for €748.60. I for one am immensely chuffed that I shall never be wealthy enough to eat very small portions of food.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How long before Trump offers him a cabinet position?

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And adult friendship is saying "We really need to get together" until one of you dies.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I didn't know Bobby played the organ.

2 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Not only the us, but also the them.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Made this Wednesday. Enjoy.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who says ‘your body, my choice’ to my daughter has thereby announced to the world that they have grown tired of having teeth and kneecaps, and I will gladly render the needed services pro bono.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Like they say on the airplanes, make sure your own oxygen mask is secure before helping others with theirs.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Vladimir Futon meets Flipper

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Republicans want to kick people out, not keep them in.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*She's with US.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My worry is that by the time I can convince my loved ones to leave, there will have been so many Americans fleeing for their safety that other countries will have instituted quotas and it will be too late for us.

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

I hope she died doing what she loved.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Well, this is awkward, since I had a coffee and a waffle for breakfast this morning.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The most *what* aura? Aren't they supposed to have colours?

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sausage, eggs, bacon, biscuits, and coffee.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Remember to bring your goths inside during the summer heat.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

[googles ‘difference between vaporising and pulverising’] ...ah.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#3 There's a band in New Orleans called "The Bingo Show." Their music has been described as "difficult listening."

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

♫ oh, gimme the pee tape and free my soul
I wanna see Trump be a toilet bowl ♫

2 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Sometimes I wonder if her other brain cell gets lonely.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

‘Hi baby, are you the north of England? Because I'd love to promise you the greatest rail of your life and then immediately disappoint you.’

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Do they still call them "opera glasses"?

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0