What up, what up, my imagerians? A little bit about myself.. Well for starters, I'm a VICIOUS heroine addict. Well by that I mean, I'm a viscious heroine addict in recovery I'm at almost 7 months now. My girlfriend committed suicide April 16th 2021, it still hurts so bad everyday all the time. So that tragic event drove me back into using. I'd been clean around 5 months before then. Buckle up, this is going to be a hell of a read, worth it if you ask me. Here we go I was on a mission to kill myself, and boy I tell ya, I'm either really fucking bad at dying or I'm still here for some purpose. The first time I should have died on this run was an interesting one. I was hanging out behind a dilapidated crack house in a tent with a few prostitutes, don't judge me yet, it gets worse... so I'd been shooting up long enough to learn something and that something is... you can always do more, but you sure as fuck can't do less. This wisdom has kept me alive and running for 15 years. So what I'm saying is, I know how strong the dope I had was and I knew how much to do and when I could do more. Me and these women of the night were having ourselves a time, little did I know they had other plans in mind. All the sudden two more of these lovely women came to the tent, one asked me a question, I set my syringe down and turned to face her. You know to show I'm giving my full attention. Well while I was giving her my Full Attention one of these ladies switched my needle for one that had enough fentanyl in it to kill someone. That someone being me... I dropped... everything went black, I woke up to screaming. Dazed and confused, I went to grab my phone, well it wasn't there, come to think of it, neither were my car keys. That's right my fellow degenerates, you're lovely story teller had not only been given a hot shot, but he also had been robbed, badly. These wonderful crack whores, (excuse my language) had killed me stolen my phone AND MY CAR, then brought this loveable junky back to life so they wouldn't have to deal with getting rid of a body. I proceeded to do a shot of crack into my neck and ran off into the darkness... after many other shenanigans your fateful narrator had moved up in the world of the damned, he became what I like to refer to as a Gentleman Pimp. Meaning I didn't force anyone to do anything, nor did I keep anyone drugged up, no one did anything they didn't want to do. If they were already living that sort of life I mearly offered protection, a steady supply of customers and a one stop shop for any possible party favors they could want. I thought this was a fool proof idea, what could go wrong? A lot actually, a whole lot... my name started spreading around faster than I was ready for, I hadn't gotten any type of firearm to protect myself, all I had was a meat cleaver, I know how it sounds, but everyone is laughing until it has to come out, but I digress. I was coming back from paying for a few hotel rooms when two guys started walking up to me, I realized I knew one of them. I had saved his life, kept him from overdosing a few nights before. I said hello and before I knew it my wallet had been ripped right off it's chain, a hand went into my pocket, I started swinging. I don't mean to brag but I was baptizing these poor souls. I was coming in with an uppercut directed at the second rapscallion, the one I did not know. Mid swing I get hit in the head by something really fucking hard. It stopped me dead in my tracks, knocking me back. All I heard while this was happening was an incredibly loud bang. It was around 11am on a beautiful day, the sun was shining through the palm trees and smoke danced around the air. I became confused knowing only I had to keep fighting. That's when I saw the gun. Blood started gushing from my head. My forehead meat was hanging out, I'd been shot in the face... Although at the time I didn't know. I was so concussed I barely knew what was going on, I continued swinging on these fools to no avail. The mysterious man pistol whipped me and I was finally knocked to the floor. The gun was pointed at my stomach, I started to think... I REALLY don't want to get shot in the stomach, I began evaluating everything I had on my person. I had my benzos in my sock precisely for a situation like this. I had at most a gram of meth, 20 dollars and some random pills. Well all that crap and my brand new Galaxy s21 ultra+ with all the bells and whistles, bad ass case, screen protection gel stuff they cooked onto the phone. I even bought one of those popper things to put on the back, because why? Because I had money, money for everything except the insurance policy... I know I know. I fucked that one up. Anyhoo, yeah so I was evaluating life and whatnot. I was still kicking at them half-heartedly as they took it all, my wallet, with social, insurance debit card, and the key to my secret hotel room across town, they didn't get the benzos though, I know, I'm a genius, you can high five me later. They took what they could and ran off. I ran upstairs to my room banged on the door, my partner in crime opened it "what the fuck is wrong with OH WHAT THE FUCK! I HEARD THE BANG, YOU GOT SHOT IN THE HEAD!" me unaware of basically everything "what? no man, we got to go, we got.. I just got jumped we got to go get em.!" "No dude you just got shot!" he grabbed me pulled me inside and put me on the toilet, while he went to get the phone. Apparently one of my favorite prostitutes was taking a shower, hearing the commotion she poked her head out, saw me fading in and out of consciousness, jumped out of the shower screaming. She got a towel and started putting pressure on the wound, All I know is I've got a head wound and tittie's in maface. Dirty comes back (my partner), phone in hand, screaming about how someone has been shot in the head. they manage to get me up and moved into the kitchen area sitting in a chair trying to stay awake. after a little time goes by BOOM* BOOM* BOOM* "POLICE, OPEN THERE DOOR" Dirty says "don't open it yet!" as he scurries around trying to clean up all the drugs and paraphernalia. What does my girl do? You guessed it, immediately opens the door... About 15 cops come in guns drawn ( I've neglected to mention that dirty is a 40 something year old black man with dreads down to his ass, I'm a 29 year old white boy, and our prostitute friend is a tiny, petite white girl about my age that couldn't weigh more than about 105lbs.) So I'm sure you can guess what the cops were thinking... they race towards Dirty I'm yelling "They're friendly! They're friendly!" I'm hurried of to the hospital (which is a whole different story entirely) The doctors tell me that the bullet was fired at such a strange angle that it ricochetted off of my skull... I'm just no good at dying. Downright bad at it... I go back to my secret hotel later that day, I was in the hospital for around 6-8 hours. I get a key made at the front desk I go inside and... they hadn't come by yet, so I proceeded to shoot up my stash of good heroine, and meth. Alone in my hotel, waiting for the two men to come back and finish me off. I sat in that room for a day or two shooting drugs waiting, waiting... I had a sort of spiritual experience, or a visit... I decided that I no longer wanted to live this way anymore, I call my favorite detox, Evoke wellness, which I was a frequent flyer at, and got checked in. That was May 29th 2021... I've been clean ever since... I've done a lot of intensive therapy in grief and addiction. I just moved into a new sober house, starting completely over, no money, no job yet, I have an interview Monday, wish me luck. I'm praying I get it because I don't even have enough money to eat right now, just what I can get from the kitchens and pantries. I don't have family, I thought I found it in her family but that's not the case, they actually blame me, even though I kept warning them she wasn't alright. I was the only one trying to get her help. It's hard, especially this time of year. Anyway if anyone made it through my Batshit crazy journey and you're still reading, I want you to know I love you, you can do this, the pain that you hold doesn't belong to you. Set yourself free. If anyone would ever like someone to talk to, or just a Stranger that will listen. You have my time. God bless and safe travels....... And if this gets to the front page... hmmm... I'll paint you a picture of a theme of your choice. You'll make it, we'll make it <3
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