Codiferous

23649 pts ยท June 12, 2011


The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Every time I look at Instagram

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Trying to help a friend out.

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Still waiting on a delivery

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Oh hai!

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Really?

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That's an unfortunate looking ghost.

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Ornate Meat Tenderizer or Masochist Butt Plug?

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In the matter of Jameis Winston...

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Happy Thanksgiving!

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Cheers to Imgur for being able to upload hi res GIFs!

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Cheers, Imgur!

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Made some Jewish penicillin

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Silverware humor

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It's all a matter of perspective...

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Wag

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Hate really long GIFs?

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unnecessary quotation marks...

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Fuck this guy.

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Got an awesome surprise for my little one in the mail today

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Girlfriend and I stumbled upon this pup. We are at odds for a name for him. What do you guys think?

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And now for something completely the same

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Refining my cruddy photoshop chops

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Fuck you, Kanye.

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Well that's quite the coincidence...

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Check out this fabulous afro moth

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This kitty needs a villain

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How soon we forget...

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Fixed.

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Uh, okay...

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I love working with fellow geeks

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How about giant manly things?

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Why you should learn how to use your truck efficiently

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Downvote fairies seem to be out in force tonight, so I made a post for them.

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Well, someone's day just took a turn for the worse...

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I knew this dog looked a little familiar...

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Sometimes context helps...

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Good job UPS

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Browsing random. I feel a little evil...

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Hey guys, take a seat...

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