[Sci-Fi Horror] "Paradise Found"
598
39
21401
"Did you hear about this zoo where the only animal is a small dog? It’s a shih tzu."
575
59
22209
[Sci-Fi Horror] The Giving Man
359
21
19158
"I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily for me it was a soft drink."
964
122
39487
"I told my bra we’re in this together, it’s the only thing holding me up some days."
1009
120
33779
"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally."
865
127
31046
"Why don't aliens visit our Solar System? They read the reviews... Just one star..."
654
53
31006
"Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent!"
644
79
33459
[Sci-Fi Horror] Locust Soul
489
52
20244
"What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved."
746
103
27136
"I went to a zoo the other day but they only had one exhibit, a dog. It was a shitzu."
1438
150
67207
"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.. Then it dawned on me."
861
70
32636
"My roommate says I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right."
760
90
29905
"I took a personality test once.. Turns out, I have multiple!"
1414
156
46180
"How many Guardsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, their lasguns work fine."
491
67
23842
"What do you call a cold puppy?.. A chili dog."
797
104
34380
"Glory to you and your house!"
1020
123
40906
"Why don't programmers like nature?.. It has too many bugs."
710
96
29596
"Why did Caesar buy crayons? Because he wanted to mark Antony."
722
71
31806
"I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."
1107
136
46605
"What Pokemon only drinks Hydrogen Peroxide? HO-OH"
1378
208
59300
"Ghost Song"
615
32
23456
"Frankenstein God"
757
75
32034
"Have you heard of the extinct species that used to live with the penguins? They were called pencilguins, but they've been erased."
1298
153
51529
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is”
839
123
32644
"I asked an Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German if they could see me. They responded yes, oui, si, ja."
959
98
37779
"Veni, Vidi, Vici—but only after Caffeini."
484
27
25157
"I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish."
955
152
40702
"I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage."
669
84
28276
"I was going to make a pun about copper, but I don't CU guys liking any of them."
482
45
23677
"Bit of a stretch, butt okay."
606
104
28261
"I told my friend that the biggest river is not the Amazon River. He's still in DE-NILE"
647
46
32683
"Why did the Tarnished attack the merchant? Because he needed to find his bearings!"
760
79
35263
"I don't have confidence or trust in elevators anymore. They always seem like they're up to something, but they also let me down quite often."
404
24
22240
"It's like you're a guardsman, and I'm a Slanneshi cultist, cuz I wanna [THIS PICK-UP LINE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE ADEPTUS ADMINISTRATUM]"
494
49
27099
"The vel-crows are well known for sticking together."
996
113
41130
"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te."
635
99
26681
"What Chaos demons makes the best cashiers? The Lords of Change of course!"
408
70
22828
"[Sci-Fi Horror] Bones."
1393
84
42375
"May History remember us as the best roommates!"
1118
138
36956
"This is my stepladder. I never knew my real ladder"
610
88
27167
"Apparently my puns are making me skate on fin ice. I think they are jaws-ome!"
501
67
29447
"That sounds like Moo-sic to my ears!"
644
113
39218
"I didn't say Dionysus enjoys complaining, I said he likes a good wine!"
1471
110
44602
"If you need me I'll be in Holodeck 4."
369
75
24391
"I bought a dog from a locksmith. As soon as I got home it made a bolt for the door."
610
78
28662
"Bright Empires"
520
131
21219
"A day without ice cream is practically un-cone-stitutional."
573
48
25748
"Lean, green, croaking machine."
571
34
33700
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
651
145
29183
"Two fish in a tank, one says to the other; "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
902
68
38000
"[Sci-fi Horror] How many ears does Captain Kirk have?"
702
76
24220
"What's the difference between the 26th of Last Seed 3E 433 and the Daedric Prince of Destruction? One is a gone day, the other is a Dagon."
602
96
30020
"What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of carnies? Go for the juggler."
955
93
45695