Mostlydeadpool
74308
1941
47
Nov 14, 2024 3:33 AM
Mostlydeadpool
74308
1941
47
magikmarker
I wouldn't want inside of his head, I'm sure that it's cold and dark
Winterous
I mean who wouldn't love a giant dick cake? That's hilarious.
CaveCanem
It's a rocket ship!
FrellingFarbot
PoormanBachelor
Sadly, this is nothing new. Look at history's nobility given largely ceremonial awards and titles but kept far away from actual battlefield decisions.
Mostlydeadpool
the problem with nobility is that it was highly inbred. they would only marry and bed other nobles and they also made it (by design) to be very difficult to get into the noble class. so no new blood, as it were. so after generations of inbreeding.... most of them were special. and yet they had the social position to be in command. which was disastrous for everyone.
biotechonista
If you've never read about the raft of the Medusé, enjoy that little story of France learning to not promote people in the navy purely based on titles. Got a famous art for it's fuckery too
StellaMatutina
Nothing new, known for hundreds of years, yet us Dems with all our education and all the books we saved (clearly didn't read, were dem but still American) couldnt do SHIT
fartharder
Casiodorus Rex, Dragon Slayer
Okamiwolfmoon
Has anyone floated the question of 'is he legally able to make sooooo much money from all of these government contracts, with no conflict of interest in public office?' Why is no one saying he's cheating at playing stocks? Cause he's winning? Of course he made a shitton in the past two weeks, he is explicitly told the winning lottery numbers with hands in every pocket. Where is our judicial system
rooik14
Thing is Trump can appoint whoever he wants to work for the office of President and there are no conflict of interest investigations because it doesn't have to go through the house or senate for confirmations. Congress has been erroding the guard rails around the presidency for decades so they didn't have to do any work, and now it's coming back to bite all of us.
Okamiwolfmoon
True. I keep hearing, 'don't worry, our system is structured to defend against the possible horrors.' No, no it's not. The erosion of our justice and judicial system is rotted from the inside, our defences are unknown til the chaos grinds against the stone
rooik14
Plan for the worst, but also don't let pessimism make you accept when our norms and division of powers are trampled.
drunkbs
Controlling the C Suite by the competent managers that are trying to protect employees from complete insanity while we keep the company functioning seems to be a trend in many companies I've worked.
Mostlydeadpool
the senior NCO "assisting" the new LT. a tradition with a long and glorious history.
brickius
I hate Elon, but, Thing is though... Twitter *is* still running - it might be shit but it hasn't collapsed
MagusoftheMoon
In spite of him, not because of him.
16bitStarbuck
THIS is why it's still okay to think SpaceX is fucking awesome without getting attacked by everyone.
jdarksun
And now he's going to be looting the federal government like he looted twitter.
tacoaboutit
boxak
It’s amazing how much effort was diverted from valuable projects just to manage one rich asshole.
ChazzK
Honestly, if Elon had just STFU and done the normal super-rich investor thing of "dump a bunch of money in, demand an unhealthy amount back, maybe make them put his name on it, but otherwise let them run themselves," everyone would probably think he was almost as cool as his rabid fanboys do.
JohnSmithterms
Tesla paid off Elons private masseuse after Elon asked her for sex on his private jet and flashed his dick to her. She rejected him and he cut her hours after that and she sued. Spacex paid her 250k https://www.businessinsider.com/spacex-paid-250000-to-a-flight-attendant-who-accused-elon-musk-of-sexual-misconduct-2022-5
powerrangerpl
Child king. That puts it so nicely. When you look at it, he is not much different from a Joffrey Baratheon. Let's hope they will meet the same fate for the sake of the rest of the world.
misterCT
Just the tip?
Midgarmerc
Him and Trump are basically the same person
CatSparkleBreaker
Dodgerguy24
No wonder Elon and Orange Jesus get along so well. The problem is that this time around OJ is making sure there's no one available with even 1/2 a brain to steer him in the right direction.
ballsoutflyer
Oh, to be there when he cut a hunk off and ate his piece of penis cake.
waddupboosh69
This will probably die in comment hell, but I have a 3rd party Elon story. I used to work for a DoD/Aerospace contractor company that was doing some work with SpaceX. This was during covid, and a lot of the people moved out of the bay area because it is cheaper up north. Anyways, the manager of the project would have to report directly to Elon and he said, on more than one occasion, a lot of the meetings have turned into Elon throwing a temper tantrum because people weren't in the office. I had
waddupboosh69
already realized Elmo was a dipshit by then, but hearing how a grown man was screaming about people not being in offices during a global pandemic solidified my hatred for him.
SirenBrick
Remember Elon would regularly "fire" people for the crime of knowing more than him, I recall him famously firing a Space-x "lead Engineer" for pointing out Elons bad math, only for it to turn out he was a junior exec hired to insulate Elon from the actual engineering team. Plus the whole being a bitch about not being the hero on the cave rescue team so he insulted everyone doing actual work to save children.
malakim
Oi, don't you drag Elmo's good name into this. Elmo does not deserve to be slandered like this.
VayaKahvi
Apparently there's a villain in The Phantom comic strip named Ian Mollusk, my grandfather knows exactly who they're referencing and hopes the name gains wider usage.
gumblemuntz
Yes he should be addressed as Leon
skrimg59
he put about ~$160m into the election
and within a few days later, his net worth had increased by well over ~$10b. i think he’s a piece of shit but he’s not nearly as stupid as everyone on here wants to believe he is
Senderoth
I'm pretty sure a literal monkey could increase their net worth when they control the biggest social media app on the planet in an age of social media.
CP3oh
Sure, he's great at turning obscene wealth into even more obscene wealth. I think you get to a certain level and it pretty much becomes impossible to fail. But that isn't the "smart" he wants to be seen as. He wants to be real life Tony Stark.
He wants people thinking that he personally designs engines and calculates orbital trajectories and whatnot. But too many people thing he does just that.
So speaking truth to power is important, even if he is super good at being rich.
faultysage
He is FAR stupider than everyone on here wants to believe. He is not playing a long game, he is not deveicing the world, he is an egotistical, racist dipshit who fails upward into miraculous success.
rooik14
His "net worth" increased. Not his cash on hand. The thing is the owner class, like people whose dad owned apartheid emerald mines, don't truly "lose" under this system. Children like Elon and Trump can't even piss away the cash in one generation.
lronMaiden
Just because he is great at propping up more support to his already obscenely over valued stock from his near cult following 1/2
lronMaiden
Doesn't automatically mean that he is not stypid. There are many levels and types of stypid and Elon definitely marks spots on several.
skincancerisfun
There's a lot of room between "super genius who can simultaneously guide 5-6 bleeding edge companies" and "complete moron who can't understand how money works".
BojanglesTheFlyingCar
Like did anyone have any question what kind of guy he was like when he ran around his office with a pseudo flamethrower
spookyactionatadistance
That's all good but in 2020 X had a stock price of 13$ and it now has a stock price of 37$. So in the end the market has shown it doesn't care about Baby King Musk.
MystieNethersworth
Where else you gonna cut it?
MrsUnderstoop
Left ball
DeserTimmy
Right Twix
PacMan4Life
Depends if you want it to make more cakes
CaldariBob
Shaft. You work the shaft.
Echo18
jammer909
Just slide the edge of a thin piece of paper across the urethra. If you did it right, you'll hear screaming.
Omicron416
AHHH! I damn near screamed just reading that!
jammer909
Then you damn near did it right.
HighSorcerer
If not one person shouted "mazel tov" when he did, I am disappointed with all of SpaceX.
greggor
I think it’s kind of a “don’t ask don’t tell” situation when it comes to being publicly Jewish around Elon.
ExogenousDataStructure
Who else is going to build the necessary space lasers?
VinnieJonesDiary
Wishes are stored in the balls.
Feralkyn
daychilde
Found the Jewish Rabbi! ;-)
dffksh
imgurianitarian
Snip the tip
MystieNethersworth
Haha- not quite, but I would be wrong to say I would feel much safer in America if I was one? D:
daychilde
Maybe. There is actual antisemitism out there. I don't think Jews are one of the most in-danger groups, but they're not completely out of the woods. meh. Fuck where our country is right now.
MystieNethersworth
I honestly don't know what is safe anymore, I think even the alt-right christians are gonna see the wickedness of their ways soon. I guess we all just gotta get rich and be above the law to feel at ease these days... I definitely wouldn't want to be a lady rabbi, and certainly not a lady mohel in this political climate.. better to be no one
daychilde
We'll make it, though. In all honesty, probably an unlucky few won't, just like the occasional right wing violence had happened. It may increase but probably not by much. It's probably not going to be worse than driving. So do take heart. You'll probably be okay. <3
Thorinori
Is there another kind of Rabbi? :P
fartharder
daychilde
Oh. You didn't know?
...me either. Leave me alone!
Hehehe
usernamesaregayboy
He is currently in need of some management, baseball bat style.
Glaive18
Fuck your violence
JohnThatcher
Do your lawyer a favor and keep a glove and ball in the car too.
SneakEFoxxe
As a fellow autistic person we can be hella smart at times but can also get real dumb, especially if we are surrounded by yes men
awesomecat42
As another fellow autistic, I hate when people try to use autism as some kind of excuse or explanation for him. His shit isn't indicative of autism, it's indicative of being born with a silver spoon stuck up his ass and living surrounded by people who are too scared or too greedy to ever tell him no.
SneakEFoxxe
It’s not an excuse, it’s a possible explanation. Autistic people are people too we are still responsible for our own actions
awesomecat42
Autism may serve as an explanation for certain parts of his behavior, but as a whole? No, that's just him being an asshole. If you point to him and say "that's because of autism" all you're doing is giving laypeople more wrong ideas of what autism actually is, which is NOT something we need more of.
SneakEFoxxe
I agree with u but it feels like ur putting words in my mouth
awesomecat42
My apologies if it came across that way, I didn’t intend it to.
acuteavocado7
as another autist i dont like to look at it as smart/dumb really. our brains operate on a completely different track. we are fundamentally different, not better or worse per se
SneakEFoxxe
I mean kinda but I still think of myself as like a person so I gotta be aware of which things that I do are smart and which are dumb so I don’t do the dumb things too much (I’m not referring to tics and such I mean like spending 45 minutes in a sociology class when ur supposed to be in an anthropology class and those classes don’t sound at all alike)
ZOMGNO
My autistic brother is a genius. He filled the washing machine to absolute capacity because then he could wash more clothes faster. We explained about it needing space to move and agitate the clothes and how that wouldn't work... and that made sense. But... the autistic brain sometimes likes to apply the logic of OTHER things, to the current thing... and so "More at once is better" made sense, and he didn't engage any further. Thats how my brain does it too. "Yes man" doesn't help you learn.
SneakEFoxxe
If you don’t recognize and contend with the flaws of your reasoning it is all too easy to wind up on the dark path of Elongated Muskrat
EnokMolkeHansson
none of the autistic people i know are anything like him and he has never provided any proof of a diagnosis, nor used it to speak about autism or be an ally to people with autism in any way. so i doubt he is a fellow.
SneakEFoxxe
I’ve always gotten a vaguely spectrumy vibe from him but I’ve certainly been wrong about such things before
SirenBrick
He is obsessive about the letter X, to a dangerous degree, he cannot have food touch or he loses his mind, repeats phrases despite not understanding them, hates minor changes, hates eye contact, need to jump and spin at random times, difficulty around people... there are signs he may be on the spectrum, but no official diagnosis makes it tough to say from just public appearances.
PirateRubberDuck
Elon is clearly autistic. Obviously he will never publicly say it because he thinks that would make him look weak. He is definitely not an ally to others with autism though, as you said.
L1ttl3J1m
A healthy dose of Boer-inspired self-loathing will do that.
dreikommavierzehn
He's obsessed with the autism/adhd awareness movement to some degree. Why else would he have commented that "High T and neurodivergent males are superior"? The classic macho sees the neurodivergent as less, while he tried to put them on the same step.
as if the majority of us wanted anything to do with such people...
spattr
He was bragging about it in his Saturday Night Live monologue a couple years back.
TheOminousTruthAboutCookies
...Sigh. I clicked because I saw 'Elon Wyd' and it sounded Tolkien. I'm so fucking disappointed. ...Anyway, where's everybody now that Twitter sucks?
JohnThatcher
Bluesky and Mastadon
januarylover
bluesky
idiotsonfire
Bluesky picked up basically a million new users in the last two weeks. Its now the #1 social media app on the free store.
AgainstMethod
I'm so glad they are still growing. From the outside, it seemed like they fumbled their launch, but they seemed like the best hope for breaking Twitter's hold.
TheOminousTruthAboutCookies
I'll have to check it out. I heard Mastodon was picking up but then Elon banned its account from Twitter to stop it advertising as an alternative lmao (And Mastodon just kinda sounded like a dinosaur-themed Reddit anyway, it being "decentralized" into subspaces and all...)
idiotsonfire
Yeah, Mastadon is still growing, its still out there afaik, but its much more niche than Bluesky is. Bluesky is also way, WAY easier to control what content you do and don't see, there's a little button on the bottom right of each post that you can click and it says "show more like this/show less like this," and it actually works surprisingly well. Not perfect, sure, but a massive step up from the shit shoveling algorithm on twitter.
TheOminousTruthAboutCookies
The bluesky algorithm just instantly on-point from the home page. I didn't even sign up yet.
friendsofsandwiches
They kinda did that during the first Trump admin. WOrked around Trump.
This next time...it's gonna be like twitter under Elon.
belindashort
The whole country
SillyZombie
*worked*
Unwnssj
And some people are still going to lick his balls and defend him from criticism. Knew someone who defended how Elon acted when he gutted Twitter until it barely worked. I mean, the guy was a philosophy major who worked at an alcohol store, so he MUST have known what he was on about.
Another tries to defend him, who claimed to be all for Bernie Sanders, but I'm not sure what's going on with him since Elon jumped on the Trump rump.
friendsofsandwiches
sounds like your guy there should have been a bar tender
Mooki
The first one was basically The Apprentice, a revolving door or who's hired and fired this week. It was dumb, but it seemed at least vaguely managed. Now we're going to get Trump 2 Electric Boogaloo: This Time It's Personal in the Uncut and Unfiltered Edition. I worry for the planet.
AgainstMethod
That's very well said. The GOP spent two years babysitting him while they did GOP stuff, but they've since fully lost control.
bemibet
This seems frighteningly accurate.
bolshevikmuppet
With any luck he'll get himself killed by od or something in the white house. Or just prior. Actually, would Vance get in if he dies before they swear him in? Huh. Or would we have another vote? I mean succession would be clear after he's sworn in but I've never had the occasion to think about these particular circumstances.
bolshevikmuppet
And I only mean that as a consequence of his own actions. Like If he decides he likes x doctor better cause he wants more drugs, MJ style. Which would be easier after he replaces most of the admin with even more yes men. I can just see him putting a plastic surgeon as the surgeon general, that's appointed, iirc. Wish we were in a better fucking timeline. Somebody go back and save harambe already.
Goldensands
It's going to be a fascist dictatorship and an escalation of all world conflict. It's 5 minutes to midnight.
jtxyz
This administration is gonna be more threat level midnight
jaysjunkymail11
Five seems high...
Goldensands
Couple of months perhaps
drbloodbathmc
5 is high. It was 90 seconds at the big inning of the year (and still is)
Navrodel
Mind you - not because Trump is going to be any more directly involved. If anything, the Heritage foundation are going to be pulling his strings more than McConnel ever yanked his leash. Unfortunately he's not only surrounded himself with morons like - and including - Musk, that are going to be making those decisions for him, but the Heritage Foundation itself isn't exactly full of the brightest and most grounded people.
We can only hope the nepo-morons trip over each other a lot.
VictusVonGuyver
Trump always pots his staff against each other, purposely making the work environment around him toxic. They will be absolutely shooting themselves and each other in the foot, the difference is they'll still be comfortable and making money.
Everyone else in globalized society will suffer, especially the American people.
Helixninja333
This is my hope as well. Because if anyone can fumble a position this absurdly good, it is trump and his team.
SirenBrick
lets face it, Trump is in bad shape, they are drugging him up more and more, he is going to die or be so sick that Vance executive orders him out.
ImaginaryMamboNumber5
Let's hope Republicans don't do away with the rule that mercifully forbids Musk from being president, because I think that's what he's fishing for here.
hellodeliciousfriend
There is no realistic scenario where they pass a constitutional amendment. Also, conservatives don't like Musk he's not winning an election.
ImaginaryMamboNumber5
Thank fuck for that. Just had a proper read and didn't realise it required so much buy in across the board - 2/3 of both houses of congress or 2/3 of states if called by a conventiion. Thn has to be ratified by 3/4 of the above FWIW to anyone else. Pretty big hurdles.
jillofmanytrades
This! If you compare the Trump of 2016 to now, he's shedding weight. And we all know that's not diet & exercise, that's age wasting away at him. If he has dementia, one of the very common things is a lack of interest in eating. As their brain wastes away, so does their body. Between 6 and 25 months in they're going to 25th amendment him.
ladyjigglebutt
I've been saying for a few months now that Trump is barreling towards a stroke. I still have money on him having a moderate to severe one before the end of 2025.
HandoB4Javert
Whaat will the USA rebrand be?
Heisanevilgenius
Bumsplupps
FlowerIsland
Turd Reich
HandoB4Javert
X why??? Z
CharunDrakarus
Christian Democracy of North America.
keillrandor
Amerika
FacelessAce
you're two k's short,
keillrandor
Good point.
johneventually1
Merikkka
StarscreamAndHutch
And we can’t unsubscribe
baldbear
You can. At the moment. Leave the US as long as it's allowed.
MenloPart
You can take a 4-year cruise for the low low price of $160,000.
Nathanyel
Living in Germany, I'm still concerned as the US still has a lot of power in the world. Even if all the soft power dissipates, there is still nuclear...
ChaosInherent
That's a luxury a lot of people do not have.
hyperchondriac
Things are gonna have to get a lot worse before we can claim refugee status. I don't have the proper set of skills to get a work visa.
eetsumkaus
Naturalized citizen living in Japan right now. I plan to go back to the US to fight the good fight, but getting my ducks here in a row just in case... privileged enough to be in a good position for PR.
boobityboobityboobity
Are they gonna keep us from leaving?...
NergalJester
All it takes is one executive order to stop producing passports and everyone that doesn't already have a current one is stuck where they are.
UNHchabo
I know this is from a game (Papers Please, I highly recommend), but real countries have done it.
ScourgeOfAges
Small problem is that it's massively expensive, very difficult, and means giving up everyone you're leaving behind.
If a person has the means and is in imminent danger, then yes absolutely they should. But most of us only have one or neither of those criteria
Nakmirax
I got out of the States, while in poverty, by teaching English in Thailand. That's still a viable option for folks with a college degree and/or a TEFL(or similar) certificate. The agencies here will provide you with a low salary teaching position, but will pay for your flight, set up accommodations etc. After your 1st year, I would recommend ditching the agencies and contacting schools directly.
An example site to find jobs like this is ajarn.com
Also viable in many other countries.
eetsumkaus
Man, if you wanted to escape right wing authoritarians, I don't think Thailand would be where you seek refuge...
UNHchabo
Problem is that Russia and Iran are the only two countries I can guarantee this administration WON'T attack.
HowlingRollercoaster2
also i did a "move abroad bootcamp" for like $40 that gave a lot of good info on what all to consider and how to make it work. the teacher of this course did overseas teaching for her initial experience and now is a digital nomad with a new baby.
Goatfer
Not all of us can. Disabled people can only leave for 30 days or they lose their benefits and most other countries will not take disabled people.
friendsofsandwiches
you're assuming we will still HAVE benifits come 2026
baldbear
Another beautiful US rule i was unaware of. I can freely choose where to live and still get my money because I am a citizen of Germany. I'm sorry for you.
ChaosInherent
Moving to another country is also a huge undertaking that isn't as easy as just "I want to leave, so I'm going to leave"
ApparentlyAllTheGoodOnesWereTaken
Goodbye America.
It's been nice knowing you.
johneventually1
Thanks. It was nice knowing you too!
SugarRay59
Don't lie to us, damn.
daychilde
So you're saying Elon ate the biggest dick anyone ever saw?
Spidey209
I've seen bigger.
PacMan4Life
And ALSO that cake!
wobblecopterrrr
just the tip...
Bealzebuff
Cannibalism, a dick eating a dick.
RyuRichmond
A ball-less dick that hides behind his mom when the other billionaires call him out*
Zokalwe
No, an asshole eating a dick. See the famous speech in Team America.
vakler
In my experience, this is the de facto ops for any company led by an ultra wealthy goon. A group of highly paid yes-men there to stroke that "founder" to completion on the regular makes up the leadership team, the advisory board of other ultra wealthy that are just listed on the website with qualifications such as "board member for all of these rich people too" etc., etc. it's "driven" and "fast-paced" the CEO/owner always claims to be an entrepreneur even though they just bought the ideas.
Conejito
This. Always this.
JohnSmithterms
This is particularly apt analagu considering how Tesla paid off Elons private masseuse after he asked her for sex on his private jet and flashed his dick to her. She rejected him and he cut her hours after that and she sued. Spacex paid her 250k https://www.businessinsider.com/spacex-paid-250000-to-a-flight-attendant-who-accused-elon-musk-of-sexual-misconduct-2022-5
acuteavocado7
wait i could get a job stroking someone to completion? not him but someone else? where do i sign up??.
FleshWeakness
"trump's a billionaire; he can't be that dumb"
"elon is the richest guy; he obviously knows what he's doing"
"steve jobs was a genius because he invented xyz"
Now it remains to be seen how long average americans will buy the trump/elon/d-list politicians con.
Me? I'm getting (and training with) a gun.
Leithoa
To be fair, in the 80s and 90s Jobs was a genius. Even early 00s. He just lost touch & gained enough money to stop caring & let his demons free. And he paid with his life.
xmaneds
you can call him a genius but he literally never invented anything
InDubiousBattle
I am reminded of a line from Michelle Obama's book: They're not that smart.
dashers
My CEO isn't mega wealthy, but millionaire level, and he clearly thinks he knows what he's doing, but clearly has no idea. They like to think they're these astute business people with their fingers on pulse, but I find that's generally the rare thing. There are good CEOs, and they have great companies, but they are the minority it seems.
hellfirerains
A good ceo can know absolutely nothing about the business, but still be a good ceo. They just have to know and acknowledge that they know business, but that's it. The moment they actually try to run the business, they will fail.
ThrowAwayAcct0000
The CEO of my husband's company is in his 80's, has no idea what he's doing anymore, is super against anyone speaking English, and caused 60 people to be laid off a few months ago. Now, he's talking about making the company a non-profit, but it seems like would never consider just paying his employees better.
IceKarma
Out of curiosity, what is the company's working language?
ThrowAwayAcct0000
French lol
ZOMGNO
See thats a weird concept to me... i'd think it'd be mostly worthy people in charge. At my current company, we have an AMAZING CEO who is unmatched. He's retirement age and the GM who will replace him was the choice after months of interviews, because its hard to beat the big guy.
And yet... at a previous job... the CEO took the brand new work vehicle to the boat ramp with his boat on the trailer... didn't put the handbrake on... and we lost the vehicle to the ocean. And that was ONE example...
WhoIsFlabbergasted
It depends a lot on what they did before becoming ceo. My company has a good one who understands that the people doing the job know what they're doing, because he used to be one of those people
ZOMGNO
Ah yes. Those who work their way up and those who were hired to be figurehead. Which, now that i think of it.... is why the one example was good and the other was dumb.
dashers
I think for the most part, it's not hard to setup up a company. If you've got a reasonably good industry and can turn a profit and aren't completely incompetent and have staff who can keep the process working, it just kind looks after itself. You don't have to be anything special to do that. If you are, well you get a fantastic org. But I work for a billion pound company that works basically by drifting by and artificial growth, nobody really else in the market so it just keeps ticking along