REAL nostalgia time, motherfuckers.

You see this right here? Fuck the PSIV or the Xbox 36Bones or that hot shit GXSEleventyMillion graphics card. Those are for spoiled little bitches. If you got this shit here back in the day on Christmas, you. were. fucking. lit. All that came before this sweet ass motherfucking system was that weak Atari shit, and the only alternative was the fucking Sega Master Systerm. Ain't nobody got time for that shit. NES for life.

Every punk ass bitch wannabe gamer on here brings up the same ten damn unoriginal games that everyone had growing up. Mario. Final Fantasy. Castlevania. Mega Man. Whoopty fucking shit. That's like saying your favorite ice cream flavor is Neapolitan. No one is nostalgic for Neapolitan. You gotta dig *deep*, to pull up the real gems.

1. This motherfucker right here. Real-time RPG. Simple: you get gud, you get four fucking swords, combine them into one badass sword, and save the world. Grandfather to ChronoTrigger, the best game of all time. Great-uncle to Secret of Mana, also no slouch.

2. You ever kill someone with a yoyo? No? Then fuck you. Because Mike, the baddest ass homeslice to ever solve a puzzle on an island, does. Good combat system, smooth game play, AND an original idea.

3. Shut up about the speeder level. Everyone knows about the speeder level. Talking about the speeder level is like saying you like the Yankees because you like Derek Jeter, even though his bitch ass has been retired 2 fucking years already. It's weak.

This game is anything but weak. It's original, challenging, and still holds up to replay 25 years later.

4. If you don't think this was the hardest game ever made, you need to step back up off of the Dark Souls and try again. This. game. is. brutal. One touch and you're dead. No upgrades can stop it. No saves. Back in the day, most kids couldn't get past the first level. This was one of the first 'I thought I was good at gaming until I rented this and realized I ain't shit' games.

5. The legend that started a franchise. Sadly, it doesn't hold up as well now - hey, the NES was running on like 3kb of memory or some shit - but in its day it was *mind-blowing*. Original, complex, fun, endlessly replayable, it set the stage for games like Goldeneye, which it turn set the stage for half the titles you own today.

6. For those of you too young to know, 'newspapers' are dead trees that people used to pay to get yesterday's news on. And 'paperboys' were kids paid pennies to get up at 4:30 or 5 in the morning (seriously...how was that not a violation of child labor laws?) to deliver those dead trees before work. This game wasn't hard, and it didn't spawn a 25-year-long franchise, but it was a lot of fun. It takes you back to a time when childhood was simpler.

7. This game was buggy as shit and weird as hell. There was no discernible storyline, the upgrades were bizarre, and if it had an end I never knew anyone who got there. This was one of those games that a lot of people seemed to have, but no one quite knew why. If there was one thing Rygar does today, it's remind you of just how much of an untamed Wild West gaming was back in the day.