BigRobbo
110594
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15
I find it very hard to believe this was not the result of something internal happening... but that's just me
Mar 26, 2022 12:38 AM
BigRobbo
110594
1101
15
I find it very hard to believe this was not the result of something internal happening... but that's just me
ZebraDGR8
Maybe someone Putin something in to his tea
HeHeHebieJeebies
Bet RU is just filling up Craiglist looking for gig workers with general experience.
PDXDragon
Nice Minister of Defense you've got there. Shame is something happened to him.
tomascco
He got heart attacked.
anlkeynz
theStark1
…well his heart did stop, so… true?
whyowhyareallgoodusernamestaken
The good old days of the USSR. In other words he has been retired (and presumed death).
IncrediRis
me too, russian defense minister. me too.
MonStar1203
Hmmm…
Thorketil
+1
rubypilgrim
So this guy is one of Putin's oldest friends. Went fishing with him, hung out shirtless, whole nine yards. Putin's public expressions of -
rubypilgrim
concern for his health are...absent.
GroovyCrowley
Quitter
RetrogradeLlama
So he appeared in the 11 seconds of video yesterday NOT in a hospital, but he's recovering in a hospital. Got it.
RelartOfGivia
LOL i forgot about that
Curiositykissedthecat
So now they are admitting it is an "invasion" and also admitting"failure"? *Gasp*
ortahj00
He reappeared in a video. By any chance, in said video, is he wearing sunglasses and some sort of ropes attached to his arms?
amb1021
Absolutely hilarious. I hope they all die as soon as possible.
Filanwizard
we all know he banged his head on some bullets and then fell out the window by accident.
TheRustySheriff
Is this a gun or a balcony shaped heart attack?
shutupbeavis2016
Lavrov: “this is according to plan”
allthenamesaregone
/me googles "novichok symptoms"
BigRobbo
Just checked myself... apparently results in Cardiac Arrest...
CaptainPawfulFox
whyteboar7
Worse case of suicide I ever saw. Stabbed himself in the back 27 times.
jonhutch01
By the look of shock on his face, he caught himself by surprise....
ElectricStormCat
Fell down an elevator shaft onto a bunch of bullets.
rukeman
Et tu whyteboar7?
powerwagondontcare
Don't forget the beheading afterwards
Whatswrongwiththispicture
And then fell out a 12 story window… Twice
NotAHugeSpider
"Now that's a guy committed to committing suicide." *laughs in 1980s stereotype cop*
TheWombatStrikesAgain
A transparent attempt to make glorious Russia look bad. /s
ben5j83
JustitiaetFortitudo
And then he ran into my polonium. He ran into my polonium ten times.
flibolimay
Sounds like he had it coming.
Ambipolar
Putin:
PhotogenicHemorrhoid
Can someone deep fake putin in this
mendrak
KALI MA!
CountDookie23
BonIvermectin
It is entirely possible this guy read the numbers coming out of Ukraine and had a massive heart attack. They aren't good numbers.
Santorrr
Old dude, a psychotic boss, and a war that's not gone to plan. "Natural" heart attack wouldn't be surprising.
BonIvermectin
I mean, for Russians. They're great numbers for people rooting for a complete Russian retreat.
barnwolf
I thought this was pretty normal loses for Russia to suffer when battling European forces?
tirohtar
Russia has a long tradition of getting encircled and losing millions of men to numerically inferior enemies...
cocoagogo
Ikwilstroopwaffels
5 to 1 casualties seem to be the Russian norm, yeah.
Dannyalcatraz
They’re rookie numbers!
Dannyalcatraz
(Ruskie numbers?)
IAmTheMightyLeon
He suffered a heart attack caused by a gunshot wound to the head
CaptainPawfulFox
I have no medical background whatsoever, but my money's on novichok.
1337cat
Nah more likely to be poisoned by T e a
ProphetofEntropy
or the guy putin replaced the last guy with, who was vocally anti corruption, is old and not in great physical shape.
1337cat
Now the time is too convenient also putin is known for poisoning people like this
tzxAzrael
yea, i was wondering if it was a .45 heart attack, or a 9mm heart attack
LusciousLucius
So... you thinking that his appearance on the 24th was a body double? Or did ya'll just not read that part?
Eldibs
"Looks like he caught himself by surprise."
nevergoingtogiveyouupnevergoingtoletyoudown
Heart attack, via bullet to the heart.
Ryebread91
Wow. That's almost as strange as that famous bowler falling down an elevator shaft onto some bullets.
varonicaED
I believe it was 6 bullets, but he did get his revenge, let's hope the example is followed!
Lumberjackfirefighter
Sprinkled with some nuclear tea
mangery
In Sweden we say a “rapid lead poisoning” …
Ptrik
I came down to comments to post this exact sentiment
Imakethingsweird
As is tradition
pretendthisisagoodusername
A glorious day for Ukraine, and therefore the world
WonderfunkJones
So a different form of "suicided"?
chaotropicagent
Bullet to the heart is a heart attack. Discuss
serpentgawd
He gave love a bad name...
SirBonSama
The bullet attacked the heart, what else is there to discuss?
c64masterrace
No no, the heart attacked the bullet. The bullet acted in self defence
OverthoughtUnderedited
acted in special defense operation
wibbIywobbIytimeywimey
Maybe the bullet shouldn’t have been out so late. It’s dangerous and the bullet should have known better.
jjw9
Being dragged to an open window at a high elevation might cause a heart attack
clonedeeznuts
CIA style
varonicaED
heart attack complicated by 2 story fall from window!
Heisanevilgenius
Coup against Putin in 5
availlableusername
There's rumors that Shoigu could be soon replaced by Steven Seagal. For real.
NotAHugeSpider
"Nyah... what's up, Poot?"
Pokegeologist
Sauce?
ApacheStache
Yes, please. Preferably spaghetti.
ArkoneAxon
I want to see that. PLEASE let that be what happens. It will be a hilarious summation to Seagal's career. And life.
availlableusername
/s
BigRobbo
You put the /s but I still think this might happen given how things are going for Russia
availlableusername
Aye, that would be fun...
anlkeynz
availlableusername
*fold*
Stolf
You reeeeeally don't want that. He's a cheeto sucker
JohnPtempkinReborn
anotherdickat
Walker,Texas racist!