I thought I would make a tribute to one of my favorite all time internet posts (Yes, the pic is real)

I thought I would make a tribute to one of my favorite all time internet posts (Yes, the pic is real)

And at that moment, President Obama stopped shaking hands and studied the sign for a bit. The woman said it out loud just in case he didn't get it. "FIX OLD! NOT NEW!" she screamed at the man, who was standing only a few yards away. He contemplated the message; his eyes looking sad and defeated.

He suddenly seemed energized. He walked away from the crowds and dialed furiously on his Blackberry, almost missing the speeddial entry for "Motherf*cker."
"Rham," he whispered. "I need to get the hell out of here, man. We need to talk."
-"What's wrong?"
"Fix OLD. No NEW."
-"What?"
"Call everybody. I'll explain when I get there."

On the plane, he looked out the window at the passing landscape below, absentmindedly flipping a quarter between his knuckles.

Hours later, Rahm Emmanuel unsuccessfully tried to get the president's attention as the six foot one inch man walked with a purpose through the underbelly of the White House.
"Please, sir- it's not finished."
-"The bat cave."
"But there's sh*t everywhere down there, it's not ready."
-"The bat cave, Rahm. I don't want to hear it."
"But Mr. President-"
Barack Obama stopped his stride and looked deep into the eyes of his friend. "I don't care. The f*cking bat cave, do you understand? The bat cave."
"Yes, sir."

What should have been an impressive lair lined with the living bedrock of Maryland was a maze of unfinished drywall and unopened boxes of fog machines and Dell monitors. Barack Obama stood on the third step of a utility ladder and addressed his posse, sitting cross legged on the dirty floor, munching on half-wrapped McDoubles.

"Fix Old," he stated simply, his eyes searching the room for signs of dissent. "NO NEW."
The room was silent other than Robert Gibbs continued, uninterrupted chewing.
"FIX OLD," he repeated. "No new."

A tear slowly rolled the cheek of Hillary Clinton, ending in the folds of her mouth, adding a salty taste to her McDouble.

"Are you sure?" asked Robert Gates.

"I'm sure, Bob."

The red phone was supposed to be mounted to a terrifying desk of black marble with skulls lining the drawers, but the desk hadn't yet been delivered, leaving the phone sitting alone on the floor next to a pile of masking tape and paint-rollers.

Robert Gates picked up the receiver and waited for an answer. He spoke softly. "Do it." And hung up.

Everyone looked around, waiting for someone to break the tension.

"Should we go somewhere?" Janet Napolitano whispered.
-"There's nowhere to go. Not for this," Hillary replied, loud enough for everyone to hear the distress in her voice.

At 2:33pm on August the 21st, 2009, less than a year into his presidency, Barack Obama mercy nuked the United States to death.

By user CtrlAltDelete of the website Fark.com