Mar 10, 2023 2:46 AM
thevortexmaster
492485
2271
60
funny
StonesOnTheHill
You know I ain't dating at all. I've got that Carpal Tunnel.
discolouredButtflapsissexy
I only date crabs. I have cancer
Baardseth815
I only like girls who promote their own lifestyles on Instagram. I got that influence-a
TotallyNotTheNSAGuys
I was married to a mexican for some years, and the only comments of these sorts I got were from her sisters weirdly. and they were WEIRD
seir
Us gays call that a rice queen.
NoNameFred
I hear that Perry Greene may have recently recovered from BSE…
stankginchfurbuger
I only date invisible women. I've got can't see her (cancer)
Columbus43219
I'm a geologist, I date platinum blondes... or common ores.
tinyfootprints
I'm vaxxed against yellow fever.
Raikupath
Spanish flu originated in the US, it should be called „Kansas flu“.
gnomedeplume
Spanish Flu is when everyone thinks you're dating a Latina but she's really from Kansas
Idonotkillpeoplethatismyleastfavoritethingtodo
I only date Hawaiian people. You know I got that eb-aloha.
GuyPilot
I only date fans of the Arsenio Hall Show, I got that whooping cough
meconopsia
I only date Irish ladies with sunburn. I've got that scarlet fever!
darren535
But fr tho, asian women are HOT
Kittynomnoms
Hot people are hot
LoopStricken
The hot ones are, anyway.
chemicalBagel
I've got that depression.
appleporpoise
Take that anhedonia and head on over here babe
PrincessWasabi
Linguistish
I don't date anyone over 20. You know me, I got that COVID-19.
FrostyRaptor
Yeah, I date unvaccinated people. You know I got that coronavirus! *cough* What were we talking about??
Beezlebubble
Yoink
wazeewa
So would Native Americans mean you have Scarlet Fever?
Because the colour of scarlett? I actually had scarlett fever hahaha
Eridianne
I'm into cannibal chicks, got me some flesh eating disease
DorgEndo
When you get necrotizing fasciitis it's hard to resist
That's pretty Kuru of you
BrownestofCoats
I like Goth women, so I must have that pall-sy.
Iihavegas
I like having a sausage up my ass while I bathe in mustard. Wait are we not just saying our fetishes?
CeoHuntingSeason
I like metalheads, I must have heavy metal poisioning
LeSethX
You like Goth women? So those who sacked and pillaged Rome amiright?
JStengah
I like my goth women to also be nerdy. I've got that cerebral pall-sy
WhydidIdothisnow
God that's good...
SonvaCumberbatch
*I've got the black plague
airbreather
So if you're into just, y'know, ordinary Canadian women... is that the common cold?
JacktheKind
"airbreather" describing his preference as the ordinary women of his local surrounding. Either your the most vanilla or most fed up person.
Common up here eh!
rej787810
Beaver fever
KafkasKarma
I only date policemen, but you know me I got that foot-and-mouth disease
Don't you mean Swine Flu?
I think I do ^-^'
slotheroll
Userlivewire
www.Reddit.com/r/ChristinaHendricks
LittleChickadee
Upvote for Joan!
TeflonTrout
I'm kinda conflicted...I do love me a good tragedy joke, but on the other hand...fetishizing people for their genetics. Solid bit tho
Kbantar
I'm only attracted to those with XX as far as I know.
no one tell this guy about Chromosonal sexes...
As far as I know meaning those exhibiting female characteristics. Seems people were looking for reasons to get offended.
SnailsAgainstTungstenSpheres
It's just a joke dude, from a standup comedian. This is so harmless. We gotta relax a bit, finding reasons to be offended is exhausting.
CrimeBrulee
Attraction is weird, but it's a (nearly) universal experience. There's no reason to be coy about it.
I feel the same. I've had this for a couple weeks now and wasn't sure if it was a bit too much. Don't wanna offend anyone
PeakExponent
He was stepping over the line, and I wasn't really enjoying the joke. Then he jumped across and it became funny.
SarcasticComment
anyone offended by this is looking for a reason to be.
Probably.
forResearchPurposesOnly
You should post it
I will! After a few beer
Beeatris
it's very funny but yes outside of a joke fetishizing people is disgusting. i had a problem where i stopped being attracted to asian women.
people would fetishize my sister and my cousins and wasnt because they were attractive but just because they are japanese.
i literally went soft on a girl cause she did the same to me as well
lemmonjello
oh yes everyone should be attracted to everyone no matter what no preferences
Attraction is a different animal from fetishization; the latter tends to lead to weird places that aren't necessary good for both parties
doobiedoobop
I only date women, i've got bird flu.
ApoplecticApocalypticApothecary
That’s untweetable. It’s a canarial disease.
pixelsnader
You're into chicks*
I think you're dating sweet Dee
tentacularfleshscape
NeverShaveYourDuck
Question: do non-Brits get this joke?
tomyeltz
Yeah, we do. There's an entire division at the BBC dedicated to exporting your television, you know. Also the Internet exists.
I'm an Aussie, so yes. Let the Yanks figure it out for themselves. I had to use google find out what "fo' shizzle" means, so they can too.
tyymyywyymyy
Yanks know. Austin Powers was a whole... Thing.
IndecisiveDaydreamer
I only date strippers, I have polio
doubleRapscallion
After I’m done with them I need a wheelchair?
mrsircaptainrich
Snap
enderite
Plutonimus
CptRobotNinja
Mother fucker
Tomcat1982
Allthegoodnamesweretakenbeckygod
UncleVenoM
Fuckin nailed it
cocoagogo
That's better
NotaCPA
it's 4am....I just spit coffee all over my pj's. Thank you for that sweet joke that I cannot repeat to any of my normie friends.
RonnieKielbasa
FMC01
who do I date for herpes then?
lizard people
goodtimehadbyall
A herpetologist
HandoB4Javert
Also, polio
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
Holy fuck, that does sound like a living nightmare. After a month of treating a declining MS patient I felt for him when he said he'd rather
die than continue to live like this.
Redyls
thats slick. yo can you come up with one for white people?
I only date white chicks, you know I got that White Plague (Tuberculosis)
AlxEverett
If you have a whitey fetish, uhh, Justinian Plague?
foobar26
JFC save some brain cells for the rest of us
Oh! Haha yes!
LaughingInTheFaceOfDanger
Kateness
... that's fucking clever. +1
lampdog
CLEVER af indeed.
redpandabanana
Daarst
pole-io
Tigersterne
That's pole-I in Italian
StonesOnTheHill
You know I ain't dating at all. I've got that Carpal Tunnel.
discolouredButtflapsissexy
I only date crabs. I have cancer
Baardseth815
I only like girls who promote their own lifestyles on Instagram. I got that influence-a
TotallyNotTheNSAGuys
I was married to a mexican for some years, and the only comments of these sorts I got were from her sisters weirdly. and they were WEIRD
seir
Us gays call that a rice queen.
NoNameFred
I hear that Perry Greene may have recently recovered from BSE…
stankginchfurbuger
I only date invisible women. I've got can't see her (cancer)
Columbus43219
I'm a geologist, I date platinum blondes... or common ores.
tinyfootprints
I'm vaxxed against yellow fever.
Raikupath
Spanish flu originated in the US, it should be called „Kansas flu“.
gnomedeplume
Spanish Flu is when everyone thinks you're dating a Latina but she's really from Kansas
Idonotkillpeoplethatismyleastfavoritethingtodo
I only date Hawaiian people. You know I got that eb-aloha.
GuyPilot
I only date fans of the Arsenio Hall Show, I got that whooping cough
meconopsia
I only date Irish ladies with sunburn. I've got that scarlet fever!
darren535
But fr tho, asian women are HOT
Kittynomnoms
Hot people are hot
LoopStricken
The hot ones are, anyway.
chemicalBagel
I've got that depression.
appleporpoise
Take that anhedonia and head on over here babe
PrincessWasabi
Linguistish
I don't date anyone over 20. You know me, I got that COVID-19.
FrostyRaptor
Yeah, I date unvaccinated people. You know I got that coronavirus! *cough* What were we talking about??
thevortexmaster
Beezlebubble
Yoink
wazeewa
So would Native Americans mean you have Scarlet Fever?
thevortexmaster
Because the colour of scarlett? I actually had scarlett fever hahaha
Eridianne
I'm into cannibal chicks, got me some flesh eating disease
DorgEndo
When you get necrotizing fasciitis it's hard to resist
thevortexmaster
That's pretty Kuru of you
BrownestofCoats
I like Goth women, so I must have that pall-sy.
Iihavegas
I like having a sausage up my ass while I bathe in mustard. Wait are we not just saying our fetishes?
CeoHuntingSeason
I like metalheads, I must have heavy metal poisioning
LeSethX
You like Goth women? So those who sacked and pillaged Rome amiright?
JStengah
I like my goth women to also be nerdy. I've got that cerebral pall-sy
WhydidIdothisnow
God that's good...
SonvaCumberbatch
*I've got the black plague
airbreather
So if you're into just, y'know, ordinary Canadian women... is that the common cold?
JacktheKind
"airbreather" describing his preference as the ordinary women of his local surrounding. Either your the most vanilla or most fed up person.
thevortexmaster
Common up here eh!
rej787810
Beaver fever
KafkasKarma
I only date policemen, but you know me I got that foot-and-mouth disease
NoNameFred
Don't you mean Swine Flu?
KafkasKarma
I think I do ^-^'
slotheroll
Userlivewire
www.Reddit.com/r/ChristinaHendricks
LittleChickadee
Upvote for Joan!
TeflonTrout
I'm kinda conflicted...I do love me a good tragedy joke, but on the other hand...fetishizing people for their genetics. Solid bit tho
Kbantar
I'm only attracted to those with XX as far as I know.
TotallyNotTheNSAGuys
no one tell this guy about Chromosonal sexes...
Kbantar
As far as I know meaning those exhibiting female characteristics. Seems people were looking for reasons to get offended.
SnailsAgainstTungstenSpheres
It's just a joke dude, from a standup comedian. This is so harmless. We gotta relax a bit, finding reasons to be offended is exhausting.
CrimeBrulee
Attraction is weird, but it's a (nearly) universal experience. There's no reason to be coy about it.
thevortexmaster
I feel the same. I've had this for a couple weeks now and wasn't sure if it was a bit too much. Don't wanna offend anyone
PeakExponent
He was stepping over the line, and I wasn't really enjoying the joke. Then he jumped across and it became funny.
SarcasticComment
anyone offended by this is looking for a reason to be.
thevortexmaster
Probably.
forResearchPurposesOnly
You should post it
thevortexmaster
I will! After a few beer
Beeatris
it's very funny but yes outside of a joke fetishizing people is disgusting. i had a problem where i stopped being attracted to asian women.
Beeatris
people would fetishize my sister and my cousins and wasnt because they were attractive but just because they are japanese.
Beeatris
i literally went soft on a girl cause she did the same to me as well
lemmonjello
oh yes everyone should be attracted to everyone no matter what no preferences
TeflonTrout
Attraction is a different animal from fetishization; the latter tends to lead to weird places that aren't necessary good for both parties
doobiedoobop
I only date women, i've got bird flu.
ApoplecticApocalypticApothecary
That’s untweetable. It’s a canarial disease.
pixelsnader
You're into chicks*
thevortexmaster
I think you're dating sweet Dee
tentacularfleshscape
NeverShaveYourDuck
Question: do non-Brits get this joke?
tomyeltz
Yeah, we do. There's an entire division at the BBC dedicated to exporting your television, you know. Also the Internet exists.
doobiedoobop
I'm an Aussie, so yes. Let the Yanks figure it out for themselves. I had to use google find out what "fo' shizzle" means, so they can too.
tyymyywyymyy
Yanks know. Austin Powers was a whole... Thing.
IndecisiveDaydreamer
I only date strippers, I have polio
doubleRapscallion
After I’m done with them I need a wheelchair?
mrsircaptainrich
Snap
enderite
Plutonimus
CptRobotNinja
Mother fucker
Tomcat1982
Allthegoodnamesweretakenbeckygod
UncleVenoM
Fuckin nailed it
cocoagogo
That's better
NotaCPA
it's 4am....I just spit coffee all over my pj's. Thank you for that sweet joke that I cannot repeat to any of my normie friends.
RonnieKielbasa
FMC01
who do I date for herpes then?
NotaCPA
lizard people
goodtimehadbyall
A herpetologist
HandoB4Javert
Also, polio
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
Holy fuck, that does sound like a living nightmare. After a month of treating a declining MS patient I felt for him when he said he'd rather
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
die than continue to live like this.
Redyls
thats slick. yo can you come up with one for white people?
IndecisiveDaydreamer
I only date white chicks, you know I got that White Plague (Tuberculosis)
AlxEverett
If you have a whitey fetish, uhh, Justinian Plague?
foobar26
JFC save some brain cells for the rest of us
thevortexmaster
Oh! Haha yes!
LaughingInTheFaceOfDanger
Kateness
... that's fucking clever. +1
lampdog
CLEVER af indeed.
redpandabanana
Daarst
pole-io
Tigersterne
That's pole-I in Italian