ddubya42
30372
713
18
That's not supposed to be in there...
Because reasons
But it's a lot sneakier
LEARN TO TELL TIME, DOC
"let's see, that piece goes there, that one goes there... then it can do that..."
Yo CJ, good to have you back man
What sorcery created this monster machine that can run so many tabs??
all my Is are crossed and my Ts are dotted
They're going for chicken tendies afterwards, wanna come?
Get more exercise
That's no toaster
I think the majority of things I embarrass myself (and others) is the tendency to "police" the situation if I see something not going how it's supposed to be. Example: I went off on the McDonald's manager once because they were all out of the Happy Meal toys, didn't say anything at all (no "sold out" sign or anything), and my kids got some stupid cardboard crap instead of the cool toy. IT WASN'T FAIR TO MY KIDS.
SuperSoakers™ filled with Holy Water
Sir, this is a Wendy's
"Thank you for your honesty... we're gonna have to let you go."
CORBIN, M'MAN, I GOT NO FIRE, I GOT NO MATCHES
He's watching you, and he likes what he sees
Snap back to reality
Hang on, let me check my phone.
Stupid grocery store lighting
Just trying to relate.
Is Iran funny??
WE CAN'T STOP HERE! THIS IS BORG COUNTRY!
I'm here to piddle around and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.
Maybe he's part snail, ever think of that? No, because you only think of yourself.
Oh, hey Marshmallow
Thisusedyet
#22 the eyes should really be pointing different directions, otherwise SPOT ON
Iplaybadguys
#26 Marshmallow isn’t handsome, she’s beautiful.
Bluuush
Kasemoch
This dump had me audibly laughing at several points, great work and stop being so relatable
MayMayz4DayzYo
#10 “Could you be pregnant?”
AntaNce
WHEN WAS YOUR LMP?? HUH? WHEN WAS IT? WHEN??
ConsumerOfStories
#3 a spear would probably still be a good idea
flukeysnail
#3 There are countless cobra-chickens where I live. It's been my experience that if you're calm and respectful, so are they. If you act nervous and unpredictable they may perceive you as a threat. The same goes for turkeys, dogs, and most other animals.
xMalkav
It's my experience that if you spread your arms and hiss real loud they'll perceive you as too much of a threat to deal with.
MadamPuddifoot
#10 I am a woman who is involved in a long term adhd study, and the principal author of the study remembers me cuz I was one of the only girls enrolled in the study. It started 33 years ago.
yakusokuN8
This may be apocryphal, but I remember that one issue was trying to identify children with ADHD and typical symptoms of being loud and disruptive in classrooms and in the home, tended to more typical of boys. Meanwhile, girls are taught from an early age to be quiet, demure, and lady-like, so being non-verbal and getting lost in their thoughts isn't perceived as troublesome for teachers and parents. Thus, girls tend to get diagnosed later in life because they're trained to mask symptoms more.
MadamPuddifoot
I was definitely none of those things, and remain so. Which is probably why I'm single at 42.
kydn
#25 Wasn't there a fast food delivery demon in the tv series 'Reaper'?
Schokilea
#10 when was your last period? Are you drinking enough water? Are you under a lot of stress at the moment? It could be hormonal... My aunt's cousin's neighbour's daughter feels the same way but she gets on fine...
mafiacarstarter
#3 I am not allowed to harm the goose. It'd be easier to deal with if I could just grab them by the neck when they attack.
lizardbones
advice: unless its some endangered species, grabbing it by the neck and yeeting it away is probably fine, and good for the goose as being afraid of humans helps keep them alive
FartsSmellBad
A soft in the crunchy is terrifying
MetalSonicSixtyNine
Mozzarella sticks?
Canigetbannedagain2
Every time I bite on something crunchy, I freak thinking I chipped another tooth... Got to love MuricanLand healthcare.
CatShadowleaf
Luxury mouth bones
Canigetbannedagain2
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1NmZqYjBkNzQxODMzcHlqaHpoZmpyYndwZGZvdGNuNTQ1MXcxdGpuMyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/wG63sS69P0IQtWDF6A/200w.webp
YpsilantiRomani
#2 because it is a historical, reduced form of the Old English word feowertig, whereas "four" (4) evolved from feower. The 'u' was lost over centuries as the vowel sound shortened in the transition to Middle English, while "four," "fourteen," and "twenty-four" kept the 'u' due to different linguistic developments. Key Reasons for the Spelling. Historical Evolution: The word for 40 originated from feowertig or fortig, where the vowel sound was already shortened. By the time of Middle Englis
MyPancakesTasteLikeCrepe
honestly, this is so hot
Freemage69
See, I just figured they only had the one "u", and realized they needed to save it for "forty-four". But your theory is probably almost as good.
thekeyofe
/affectionate
YpsilantiRomani
Yup
CorndogHead
Domino man doesn't know if the salt is supposed to keep stuff out or keep stuff in.
tavinjer
“Everybody will be better off if I respect what you are clearly stating is a boundary.”
Robtheshaman
Respectful delivery person is surr to not get cursed/possessed/trapped. Smart move.
rotinaj
#10
copperdomebodhi
#10 People usually get diagnosed with AD/HD because they're hyperactive boys driving their teachers nuts. It's more common for girls to only have the distractability symptoms. They don't get the help they need because "sweet but daydreamy" doesn't feel like an emergency.
eventide215
Most don't realize they have an issue until college years when they suddenly realize a lot of what they do/feel isn't normal. In grade school as long as you're not failing you're usually not going to get seen as a problem no matter what. I'm male with that "sweet but daydreamy" thing. I do well enough to get by and nobody really notices anything wrong.
OtterlyMagnificent
I'm trans, MtF, so I grew up presenting 'male', and had the 'sweet but daydreamy' thing going on. But because I was also autistic, everyone just said 'he's probably just thinking really hard'.
...which I WAS usually, just not about anything I wanted to be thinking about.
nonickname23
#18 I don’t want to admit how many times this has happened to me. But it has been more than thrice.
eventide215
Happens to my bf with practically everything.. the lovable idiot. I can literally be standing beside him and he'll suddenly jump because he forgot I was there.. It's extremely entertaining watching him play horror games.
StarSaber317
#22 those eyes are too straight (of hormuz)
MayMayz4DayzYo
#6 Ah, shit. Here we go again.
Clayman8
#3 our ancestors never had to fight geese, so no. Im not equipped to handle that.
Abizuil
They'd likely relish an easy meal that charged *at* them. People only 'fear' them because they don't want to actually hurt it to make it go away, remove any empathy for the thing and it goes down like a fighty chicken.
lizardbones
I have native american ancestors. i know for a fact they fought geese
etherbunny41
#25 I think it's more likely the guy recognized the salt line and was like "Ah man, that house must have some SERIOUS bad juju if they're putting salt lines out this far. Nuh-uh, I don't get paid enough for that."
ParaspriteHugger
"I'm not feeding myself to whatever is trapped inside that house"
etherbunny41
KittyKlimt6
#10 funfact: the idea ADHD would vanish with growing up comes from the fact that men marry and then have like a slave at home expected by him & society to work unpaid, organising everything, managing material culture, making doctors appointments, bearing mental load. Nice for men. But women have ADHD as well. Consider "one gender getting a helper and the other one even more crippling load" as systemic. This quadruples with every kid. I nearly died. He's living his best life.
MayMayz4DayzYo
#13 *JD has dramatically entered the chat*
Shibbidibdub
BlueDsc
#1 I don't mind a crunchy in the soft as long as it's actually supposed to be there.
LankyBootyGriswald
Chips on a sandwich.
BlueDsc
Particularly good if you use kettle chips.
LankyBootyGriswald
Give me that poolside special of doritos on a turkey sandwich that smells faintly like chlorine.
Unclescam
Granola in the yogurt.
Mxlespxles
#1 counterpoint: Crunchwrap Supreme
RibbleTPibits
Cheesy Gordita Crunch was my first (and only) thought.
Germanswisscheese
Deli sandwich but add a thin layer of Ruffles
Mxlespxles
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1bWVvNjd0OXVheXp4dDN6Y3V0MDJ6c2ZtcW04NTRtcnZ4N2ZuN3ZjaiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/zNbiX43QsqUAU/200w.webp
StillScreamingIntoTheVoid
#5 I have just discovered that the click of putting the 2 parts of the hinge together is permanently inscribed in my brain and can be replayed on command. Cool.
Now I'm practicing to see if I can turn this into a mental fidget toy.
davefleming19903
Is it an actual build? I feel like its a fake,
StillScreamingIntoTheVoid
Maybe someone's home design? I'm pretty sure there are websites where you can design your own build and make instructions for it.
bronsonmills9
But what is the nose piece? Is that a minifig leg?
MayMayz4DayzYo
StillScreamingIntoTheVoid
Definitely
MayMayz4DayzYo
#1
cdlong
Never had a brownie with chocolate chips or nuts, or ice cream with chocolate chunks or cookies?
LoonyBoBdammitwhotookmyname
True. Also soft in the crunchy isn't always good. When you have a bag of tortilla chips and bite into a soft one... D:
cdlong
Fair point. I agree that hard in soft is least likely to be appetizing, but it far from universal.
decarnatedame
#7 I refuse to believe you could even have 1,000 about:blank tabs open with how hoggish browsers are with memory.
DdCno1
Eh, try Firefox. It's very efficient these days. I've had hundreds of active tabs open at the same time with no issues (admittedly on a rather powerful PC).
somnif
I have 4,900 tabs "open" using about 1.6gb of RAM. Only 3 of those tabs are actually actively loaded, though, that's the trick.
somnif
Nah, they're "open" but not loaded, just saved in cold storage for if you happen to click over to it. Only active tabs really hurt things.
eventide215
Please do go test this. Load up even hundreds of tabs. Then check your RAM usage.
somnif
somnif
(For comparison, I have 82 tabs of Chrome open in that screenshot, with 3 loaded)
somnif
With 85 tabs loaded, I'm up to about 9.5gb. With 95 loaded its around 9.7gb. Load depends on what is actually active in the tab of course.
JStengah
#26 wait, are people complaining that Bob's Burgers went woke? That's as dumb as the people complaining that Star Trek went woke.
wabitgirl
Same as people who complain that X-men and Marvel in general went "woke".
TheDaharMaster
Trek was never woke. The stories were lessons on morality, and doing the right thing when no one was looking.
spooonsss
Potato, potahto
DukeDarkwood
Yeah, the right wing calls that wokeness now. If empathy or tolerance are in any way involved, suddenly a thing becomes "woke".
IrrelevantHandle
It's why they started complaining that fucking Sesame Street was woke
HexStadium
I've been streaming all of Bob's Burgers recently and I really can't see what the Right would call "Woke" in it unless they mean Bob driving that Taxi in the one episode and being chill driving around Glitter, Marbles, and Cha-Cha as their pimp lol
phalanxausage
Those sickos consider just being nice "woke." Anything other than constantly reveling in avarice, greed, and cruelty Is a threat to their existence.
secretdpp
To Maga fucktards anything that isn't pro Trump is woke
bronsonmills9
There's an agender/nonbinary character named Benj that makes puppets (If you love it so much why don't you marionette), plus the gay raccoon couple (King Trashmouth and Gary) and the lesbian ex-couple (Nat the limo driver and her snake rescue ex). Marshmallow is coded drag queen and is a recurring character. Also the owner of Toetanic (the plus-sized women's clothing store) is implied to be "Miss Taint Behavin'".
EroticZombiePants
They are still mad they canned that dude from the show after it was found out he was at Jan 6th.
FaeVikingPrincess
Jay Johnston is probably complaining
MechanicalRomance
I mean, Bob's burgers did start with some pretty cringe depictions of trans people.
copperdomebodhi
"They put gay people on television? How could they?"
Alsenoth
And here I am just saying "Bob's Burgers started airing in 2011?????"
TakuanSoho
Yup, ten years ago. Man, how time flies
Imallupinthebenz
Impossible, the 90s were ten years ago
Leonon
*fifteen years ago
somnif
Yep, 5ish years ago, makes sense.
AlmightyElephant
You shut your god damn whore mouth
MuffinProof
A whore shutting her mouth seems counterproductive