Gwythaints
129481
2437
63
Aug 2, 2020 2:56 AM
Gwythaints
129481
2437
63
Vysard
I was flashed by a girl heading to the bar yesterday. That is the most significant event I have had in years. Still riding that high.
Newlyof
I've known lots of men who, when asked why they do something in a certain way, they say "[girl A] complimented them for it" 20yrs ago.
jebascho
Someone yelled out of their car that I looked really good in my suit. It was 2017 and I can still remember so many details of that moment.
Web2h
I got told I have pretty eyes at work one. Was 5 years ago after a bad break up.
KhajiitIsPleased
I'm so thankful for my daughter. I dont hear anything positive from anyone besides her. Theres nothing more uplifting than hearing 1/2
KhajiitIsPleased
"I love you dad" after an excruciating, depressing day
Cheomesh
How old is she? When my four year old says the same it doesn't really move me at all.
KhajiitIsPleased
She'll be turning 17 this year. We're a bit closer than most father/daughter relationships since I've raised her on my own.
Cheomesh
Ah, cheers.
Ragabash1
A customer complimented my beard. It's sad how uncomfortable in a positive way it was. Really didn't know how to accept it.
raisethejollyroger
When someone compliments my beard I always say "thanks...I didnt like it at first but its growing on me"
chiefrunswithscissors
I got that once and I stupidly replied "I'm going to choose not to take that as sarcasm"
SharkoutofWata
A child complimented my beard once. It was definitely strange but I’ll take what I can get.
Nanananahatman
Girl complimented my shirt a year ago at home depot and I seriously tried to think of reasons to go back there for a week.
catholiccolor117
You have beautiful eyes many desire to look in ( :
mcotgr
I've been complimented on my eyebrows some six years ago by a young woman. I still remember it and feel good about myself.
SamuthNBS
Ditto - one of my male students told me I had the best brows in the department also 6 years ago. Still proud
slobb11
I got complimented on my eyebrows by a bird looking for a nest. It made me feel good about myself.
PeerToPeerNachos
Last spring, 12+ months ago, a girl in the car beside me rolled down her window to say I had a great beard. I still think about that.
Lordofthenopes
In high school a girl told me I had a cute butt. That was 15 years ago and it's the most recent thing that comes to mind. I understand you!
Axianamos
Oh man yea. Girl came running up to me, stopped and stared. Said "Wow, you have really pretty eyes." And left. That was 15 years ago.
nickgreyden
22 years ago a girl told another she liked my eyes. 19 years ago a girl told my gf she thought I had very kissable lips. Treasured memories.
SophieClockwise
CrimeBrulee
The girl at Chipotle told me she really liked my beard 3 years ago.
IHateCakeDays
Last winter I was told “nice parking, a-hole”, not much, but still counts as compliments
Mandarinduckmama
Here's one: You're fucking hilarious!! Making people laugh is a rare and cherished gift in our world...and you can. You're lucky.
IHateCakeDays
Thank you random internet stranger, very nice of you
Cloielle
Women often don’t give male strangers compliments because of how it may be perceived. I told a guy I liked his tattoo and he took it (1/2)
Cloielle
as his cue to sexually assault me in front of a whole carriage of commuters. Nobody did a thing.
LordNergal
Part of the male socialization is, "If she compliments you, she must be into you or want something from you." It turns romance into a 1/
LordNergal
long form of prostitution, where the romantic gestures and gifts are being traded for sex. 2/2
Loren25
Wow.. I'm sorry that happened to you. Hope ur ok.
SlidinDownTheLannisters
I went to a club once with my tall, attractive, and confident friend. He managed to get the attention of 2 girls from different groups 1/
SlidinDownTheLannisters
Within 30 minutes. I spent the whole night alone. By the end of the night, in my cups and in my feelings, I lamented to my friend how I 2/
SlidinDownTheLannisters
Wished I could be as confident as him. He tried to make me feel better. The girl he had chosen that night decided to pipe up and say 3/
SlidinDownTheLannisters
"Yeah, but, he's good looking" and pointed to my friend. So yeah, compliments, in any form, go the longest way. Thnks for hearing my sadness
endersjeesh
My husband's kindness makes him irresistible to me, not his looks. U can't do much about looks but you can be kind. Worry only about that
Grier2217
But I likw to be complimented on my acts and actions rather than who I am.
dieselfury
Same I guess. I don't really need validation though, I'm happy just doing things how I want
Gregnaught
When I was losing weight, someone said “hey, you have a proper bicep bulge now!”. I still hold that quite dearly.
Bruce949
I jokingly tell women my best feature is my feet. I’m never corrected. I’m usually wearing shoes when I say that.
GnomeDeGuerre
People haven't any experience in complimenting dudes, they haven't got a script installed to use.
WhatYouWantACookie
I bet you're better looking than you think. We always see ourselves worse than we are
Xendrash
I'm Jabba the Hutt's cousin.
SociallyInept1
Or maybe they are thinking shoe size? As the saying goes big feet big...
KatInTheCorner
I wish guys complimented their friends more. Hype them up!
QuanticChaos
Hey bud, nice dick!
mehFamBaroness
I’m viewed as a “flirt” when I compliment men even though I’m not flirting. It’s hard for women to compliment because we’re raised not to.
StrighlyHung
And if we do they immediately think we want to have sex with them and then we're "bitches" for friend-zoning.
mehFamBaroness
Well, don’t use “they.” Not all men do that, and we can’t generalize them because we expect them not to do that with us.
StrighlyHung
But they do anyway.. Behind closed doors..
StrighlyHung
... And in public ?
Folsee
I don't recall my last compliment. That can't be a good sign.
theITgirl
You are handsome, beautiful, and worthy of love. Stay strong.
QuanticChaos
You're Australian, and Aussies are cool! There's a compliment for you!
catholiccolor117
You are a work of art you care about something / someone ( :
rando84
The interesting dynamic with unsolicited dick pics is it’s a tiny % of men who just mass-send then on every dating / social media app, so (1
rando84
women are convinced that it’s a common thing for guys because they receive so many, while the vast majority of men assume it’s exaggerated(2
rando84
because they don’t send them & none of their friends talk about sending them. (3
anglarite
Um... Is it normal to discuss those things with friends? Geez.
rando84
Depends on the people/context involved, but crude conversations between close friends about sex & dating is pretty standard. What struck (1
rando84
me as unusual was that, among friends, I would hear girls talk all the time about getting them but guys thought it was an absurd idea. (2
LeoSalt
I accidentally made a friend of mine cry when I complimented his body. We're both straight, but I care about these things and told him.
LeoSalt
He cried when he realized I was serious, unexpected. We hugged it out and he kept trying to diminish himself. Quite the experience.
flarflarf
I really liked the summation: "The resulting gap in experience causes the real problems." This is exactly correct.
GnomeDeGuerre
1/ It's quite directly related to the reproduction of the problem, dudes have to make contact quite a few times to get attention, it teaches
GnomeDeGuerre
2/ the basics of predatory behaviour to many. That in order to have a sexuality partners must be chased, which in turn is quite over-
GnomeDeGuerre
3/ -whelming to any young women dealing with these dudes, having to dodge, bob and step out of the way of all the sexual attention.
Asadsadsadclown
Continuing his point: for some the notion of a compliment is so foreign it is difficult to even accept. I simply don’t know how to react.
GnomeDeGuerre
I suspect that many who try to compliment get turned off by the awkwardness of it.
johnrocks
Chris Rock said men are the only creatures that are loved only on the condition they provide something. Not women, children, pets, etc
DrVinnyBoomBotch
A. Frikken. Men!
Cheomesh
"Women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally.A man is loved under the condition that he provides something."
flarflarf
that's a bunch of victimhood bullshit imo. I've seen dudes who only love their wives because they're sexy or because they keep a good house
trikeosirius
“Some people are only loved when they fulfill traditional gender-roles” would be more accurate.
flarflarf
or whatever, and I've seen a lot of men and women who stop loving their pets when they're not cute anymore.
flarflarf
people of both sexes are shitty all over and for a bunch of reasons.
BlueDuckPale
Would be weird if he was generalizing about 7 billion people, from the cultural stand point of an american. Not individuals........... right
Roger8086
Sad but true, Flarflarf.
FirePrinceZuzu
He sounds like an idiot.
GnomeDeGuerre
Cheap comment.
OnePostCloserToAHappierLIfe
Still doing better than the president.
Malibloo
Extremely low bar.
OnePostCloserToAHappierLIfe
You're right. Still better than a rock.
Anikanje
I would love to give men compliments, I am too scared they would reply pointing out I am fat or ugly. I have enough trouble dealing 1/
Anikanje
with that, without others pointing it out. I am also scared that someone might take it the wrong way. But very few men that I have met 2/
Anikanje
did not have a handful of fantastic qualities, whether it was physical or intellectual. I wish I could see each and every one of you and 3/
Anikanje
honestly compliment you. And I know how dumb I sound saying any of this. 4/4
catholiccolor117
Your feeling's are valid ( : and I get that social anxiety 100%
Anikanje
Thank you. You are very kind for understanding, I appreciate it and I hope you have an amazing week.
blairmichod
As a trans woman, this so much.
pancreas
i remember reading a couple of things a while back about women who transitioned to male and realized just how much no one cares about you
LordNergal
I've heard this from a number of trans men.
subzero600
This? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-Made_Man_(book)
pancreas
thank you! yes, she was on 20/20 that was the show.
makeSX
As in "shut up, no-one cares, do your job!"
Cheomesh
Such is the ways of men.
makeSX
And I say this as a father of 2 daughters, because I feel like I'm a up-keep service person who only gets to ask hows everyone else doing.
theresgarlicinthatnebula
My trans roommate has remarked about how policed his interactions with women has become - specifically not after coming out, but after (1/2)
theresgarlicinthatnebula
(2/2) going on T/passing more.
pancreas
same thing on some tv show, i think it was like 60 Minutes or something, where a woman basically went undercover as a man for a while
AlfredDPrince
Go on...
pancreas
her name was Norah Vincent. she wrote a book: Self-Made Man: My Year Disguised as a Man, and was on the tv show 20/20
MermaidBiologist
.
AlfredDPrince
Thanks!
koops
(Unfamiliar with terminology so plz educate me!). Does this mean you went M to f?
blairmichod
Yup! MTF.
TheNerdFonz
Multiple girls I spoke with over the phone growing up said I have a sexy voice. I podcast now & it’s the only place I feel confident.
Cheomesh
Meanwhile, I sound like I need to get my ass kicked.
LiKeys
Link? :)
TheNerdFonz
Podcast names: The Action Comics Weekly podcast, Creative Credit, & The LanternCast.
MermaidBiologist
.
TheNerdFonz
One of the few compliments I received repeatedly was my voice & never my looks. Is it any wonder I root what little confidence I have there?
missingdodo
You're repeatedly complimented on your voice and all that gives you is sadness that nobody compliments your looks. That's not even true. 1/
missingdodo
Even your Christmas selfie got favorable comments on your looks. Or did you just disregard that?
TheNerdFonz
If I’m being honest? At this point? I just don’t believe it. I believe they’re just joking or just being nice.
missingdodo
There. "Just being nice." That is usually why people compliment others. Don't doubt everything you hear. Don't take everything for gold 1/
ErikLehnsherrWasRight
The last complement I received was from. A co worker 2 years ago. They said I looked good in a new button up shirt.
ErikLehnsherrWasRight
I went back and bought 5 more, for when the first one wears out.
QuanticChaos
The sad fact is that even a simple compliment can actually change the direction a man is going in his social or professional life because ?
QuanticChaos
it's the only validation they have gotten and the value of that positive reinforcement is scary powerful, especially when you never ?
QuanticChaos
receive any. I remember changing they way my hair was styled for months because it got messed up once in school and I had no brush with ?
QuanticChaos
me so I just tried to fix it with my hands and I got a compliment, I was afraid to brush it after that because of that fluke occurrence ?
QuanticChaos
making that random girl mention it looked good. When I couldn't replicate the results the same way I was devastated, I felt that I had ?
QuanticChaos
lost what value I had. As a male I have found that being nice and complimenting other males confuses them, they (and myself) don't know ?
InboxMeYourHDGIFs
I can't count the times I've been complimented like that on one hand, and one involved a woman caressing my hair from behind, unsolicited.
InboxMeYourHDGIFs
What's fucked up is despite feeling a bit creeped out, it still made/makes me happy.
Axianamos
A girl complimented my shirt at the drive through 2 months ago. A few days before that my supervisor said she loved having me on the team.
ShmoeJoeHoe
I adore seeing your comments here.
A911owner
In college some girl told me I have beautiful eyes. It was a shitty day and that totally turned it around for me. I still think about that.
viblis
Shit, man, I had a similar experience, except it was like 6 or 7 years ago. She hit me with a cheesy pickup line that turned me red.
thebowlllama
Got complimented on my mustache, 2 months before that on my chef pants
Nathanyel
My sister got me a Baby Groot tee about two years ago, and while I have plenty other nerdy shirts, I'm conflicted to wear it because *I* 1/
Nathanyel
2/ didn't buy it myself. To get to the point, it got me two compliments from women (ok, one was merely telling me her ~10y son liked it)
Nathanyel
3/ so I wear it regularly.
brizio
Whore. Just kidding. Sounds nice.
jp189512
It's been 23 years since a girl I liked in high school complimented my pants I was wearing, I remember every little detail of the experience
idonthaveanyideawhatthehelliamtalkingabout
And then wore those pants untill they fell apart ?
jp189512
Of course not.....they were lost in an accident involving a dog, me, and a game of tug of war
ShadowMageAlpha
That dog obviously wanted to get compliments as well. Should have told doggo it had a beautiful coat.
LexManos
Back in February, checking out at the store, the lady in front of me said she liked my shirt... I still think about it from time too time.
monkeyfly
That's pretty wild. The other week a woman at the supermarket smiled at me without a social requirement. Been riding that high for a while.
Xique
A girl told me I had great eyelashes 20 years ago and I still remember her name
MidasTheAlchemist
A girl said nice shirt to me outside a PetSmart. It's a "back in my day" shirt with an NES controller.
Himser
I was told by some female freinds that i should not wear a hat because i looked bettter without one... i havent worn a hat in 15 years.
lighterletter
When I was 14, I was walking home from school and a group of Catholic school girls whistled at me and said "hey pa where you going?".. 1/2
VillainVillain
Daaaaang, lucky
lighterletter
.. highlight of my career. I'm 30.
Axianamos
Im still riding that high. 2 compliments in one week. It's really all I have to go on these days.
Nalianna
i'm glad you're here on imgur.
losboccacc
a woman smiled at me while crossing roads at a sidewalk. I wifed her several years later and still ride that high.
ThatOneGuyFromTv
I didn't think anyone would be named "that high"
ElbowDeepInSarah
A girl at work told me I looked cute in my new glasses and sadly it’s been the highlight of my year.
adptedturtle
Shit man, even I'm riding this high for you
TheVoidListens
Shine bright you beautiful star :)
bbnestea
I bet you have nice eye.
flawlesssoul
An' a purty mouth
uitSCHOT
Only one?
Hemelsblauw
Must be a cute smile than.
Thorinori
Yeah, the other one is a mean eye
HappyLittleBoozer
Trouser snake?
Zeus541
My wife calls it The Stiff One-Eye
Covidnineteen
I bet you breath
GideonGrey
Has pulse you?
asaguda
does exists?
Squeleton
Wow look at mister big shot here with the TWO compliments in the last year when we all gotta make do with one per decade.
RyuNoel
I remember 2 compliments last decade. One as a teenager, one as an adult.
Traindrivingdude
Whoa whoa you guys are getting compliments?
Kaiva
A random chick said I was sexy 10 years ago, I still remember it
chiefs813
Had a cute girl at a concert stick her hand up my shirt and feel my chest/abs as she was walking by and told me I was hot back in 2005 lol
VillainVillain
Daaaaang, lucky. That actually sounds like a dream.
Mandarinduckmama
That's just so hot...I'm afraid you're gonna have to ride that one forever...things like that are a once in a life time event...but...it's
Mandarinduckmama
Enough, isn't it? It has fortified your deepest sense of your sex appeal...and you can always tap into that.
jestersama
One of my female friends described me as consistently funny months ago, I still think of that, it was the best I've felt about myself in yrs
SomethingHorriblyInappropriate
Bro, you got 2 compliments in less than a year? You buy a lottery ticket yet?
OtterAvalanche
You guys are getting compliments?
ShadowMageAlpha
You guys are getting NOTICED?
agburanar
No point, he already burned all his luck for 2020
arnjolt
So true it hurts... But I would never admit the pain because that is weakness. I'll just be over here chopping firewood...
Meilkor
I love a hard worker
kusuriya
don’t give away our secrets! i’ll be over there crying into som whiskey
Gwythaints
It brought a few tears to my eyes when I first read it.
arnjolt
Conceal, don't feel
LordNergal
Don't ever let it show.
Hemelsblauw
arnjolt
Is... Is that sarcasm?
Hemelsblauw
Nope. It's well meant.
justarandomfandom
This is why I love complimenting guys if I feel they're safe to compliment or I'm sure I'll never see them again
Hemelsblauw
This, but what also helps us to say that you are glad for them things worked out well or just tell them sorry life is so hard at the 1/
Hemelsblauw
Moment. Just sharing their feelings with them. My male friends do talk a bit about their feelings luckily.
justarandomfandom
I always try to get my guy friends to open up. Not in a pusht way, but the offer to talk is always on the table and I take it seriously. If
justarandomfandom
A guy friend says they need to talk about something, I drop what I'm doing if I can.
StevieTheAussie
Unfortunately another side effect of all this is that as a guy, even if I’m being complimented I assumed it’s a hollow/pity-driven one. :P
secretdpp
Or its a super vague one. Like Nice Eyes.
ComicPi
Nice eyes isn't vague. You probably do really have nice eyes
secretdpp
Probably. Its just the face thats wrecked lol. But that's why I can cook like a boss
justarandomfandom
That's so sad. I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to feel like that, good compliments should be the norm.
ComicPi
I've lost friends from suicide so I make a point to compliment my friends and tell them how much I love them pretty regularly
Samzwerg
I try to compliment my female and male co-workers on varies things every week. It's fun and it makes them happy:) it's hard to be subtle tho
IcedVenom
I avoid complimenting coworkers, but I throw compliments out with wild abandon to friends and strangers. Anytime I think something (1/?)
IcedVenom
2/? complimentary about someone, I say it. The only exception is when someone is creeping me out, or is my coworker. I get a lot of men -
IcedVenom
3/? reacting with surprise, & saying they're really happy to be complimented. & whenever I give them a "feminine" compliment such as "You're
IcedVenom
4/? so pretty! What a lovely smile!" the guys always react well. I haven't had a single "feminine" compliment recieve a negative reaction.
IcedVenom
5/5 but the "masculine" compliments (eg "handsome") are almost always dismissed by the men. As are compliments on attire.
AreThoseMyPants
I avoid complimenting co-workers unless it's work-related, because I'm bad at "reading the room" and don't know if it's ok or weird/creepy.
Samzwerg
Yep, that's what I meant with "bein subtle is hard". But can't go wrong with "nice haircut", "nice pants", "good to see u", "u made my day"
BananFitPlayer
Oh I could definitely go wrong with "nice pants"
ElyaEquestus
I have been on the receiving end on receiving compliments and I have seen how awkward people can get at giving a positive comment towards 1/
ElyaEquestus
2/ a woman. Basically the best way to give a compliment is to look someone in the eye, smile and say 'x looks good on you' or if you are
ElyaEquestus
3/ more insecure 'I dont know how to put it but x looks nice/cool/good' and if you truly want to take it home, add in a detail why you
ElyaEquestus
4/ you decided to make a comment on it. Being calm & open towards their reaction makes it so much easier to receive a compliment as well.
Zonga
The thing most people don't realize is, the way this situation interacts with social justice feminism actually turns it into a "war on men"
[deleted]
[deleted]
Cheomesh
What is a "dyke queen"?
Ginoawesomesauce
Please see Nick Offerman and how to easily be a 'real man' but also a feminist
Ginoawesomesauce
A 'radical feminist'
Zonga
Not everyone gets to be Nick Offerman, and the losers still need a way to feel like they are worth something.
Ginoawesomesauce
The vast, vast amount of women want to be with only one man. Since human babies are born 50/50 you should be able to find partners
Zonga
This also doesn't match many people's lived experiences, and it often sounds more like an insult than an encouragement. "They're out there,
Zonga
without anyone wanting to. Basically, when we push for "equal respect" and the dismantling of gender roles without first addressing the
Zonga
parts of toxic masculinity that generate the "disposable man"/"women are valuable for what they are; men are valuable for what they do"
Ginoawesomesauce
This is absolutely untrue. Women that cannot or do not want to have babies are so looked down upon that they're basically not people
Zonga
In some circles, yes. In other circles they're praised. And in some circles, men who don't fit traditional roles get raped or killed. But
Ginoawesomesauce
The amount of men raped by women is very nearly zero. You, know that. Women raped by by men is 1/3 or more.
Zonga
I'm not sure "misery poker" is a game worth playing, here.
Zonga
memeplex, we wind up marginalizing something like 85% of men as utterly, intrinsically worthless. And then we tell them that it's their
Zonga
responsibility to find worth, without giving them any clue for how to do that. And the only people who ARE providing a model for male worth
Ginoawesomesauce
Yo, bro, if ur dad didn't teach u about male self worth... I'm sorry. Men are extremely valuable in humans
Zonga
that doesn't contain inherent risks or contradictions are the redpillers. And if you can't cut it as a redpiller, the only people who will
LastoftheLillyCreatures
You make a valid point in adressing TM, but don't you also imply that feminism (or "social justice feminism") is the reason 1/4ish
LastoftheLillyCreatures
redpillers exist? Also: I completely disagree that this has to be adressed _first_ or that that turns whatever feminism into man 2/4
LastoftheLillyCreatures
hating. Considering that you took your time for a post of 5+ comments (on which I partially agree), I think it's somewhat 3/4
LastoftheLillyCreatures
sad that the assumption you base this on is so undifferentiated. 4/4
Ginoawesomesauce
As far as 'dismantling' gender roles, most of the female feminists I know wear makeup and the male feminist have beards and body hair
Zonga
I'm not sure what that has to do with anything?
Ginoawesomesauce
It.... does not
LordNergal
You mentioned being a biological anthropologist. Which division? It's an umbrella term and I want to research more of what you're saying. 1/
LordNergal
I am always on the search for more information on a number of topics, and this is one of them. 2/2
Ginoawesomesauce
I guess I'd recommend sapiens.org to start. If you can take a class at a JC. Also, http://explorations.americananthro.org/
LordNergal
Thank you!