SquaresUnfiltered
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It is not okay to touch people without their permission. It is not okay to ask people questions like this either.
Has anybody had anything like this happen to them? This is becoming more regular.
Rochester, Minnesota is not the blue haven that people make it out to be.
https://youtube.com/shorts/u8IeAJ1u5J8
keelindsey
Of course it's real. Imaginary hair would be stupid.
NoRose
Also, do not do it to children. They deserve bodily autonomy, too. They may have gorgeous hair, they may be blonde with gorgeous corn silk or they may be African American and switch out their curls - leave it alone. Compliments are great, my kid may invite you to touch it. But if you ask, "No." is a full sentence and complete response, no matter the age.
RoombaTheAssaultVacuum
People stopped randomly walking up to me and touching me when I would fake-sneeze or fake-cough on them and tell them I had pneumonia.
SandyTentaclez
God I fucking have people touching my hair. Because its long. Yes. Its long. It grows. It takes a lot of time. And I didn't grow it for you to put your grabby hands on it.
vanishinggirl
Rochester is like Duluth- blue on the inside but closely surrounded by red bigoted twats that infiltrate & spew their hatred.
Dannyalcatraz
My Dad was stationed in Stuttgart in the mid-70s. I had a bit of a ‘fro, and occasionally, little old women would pat me on the head, “Wie ein Schaf!”
(“Like a sheep!”)
Notched120
It seems like the administration that is running America has emboldened the idiots in America to be flagrantly bigoted.
YouRadicalizedMe
YUP
JaimeLannistersRightHand
In the EU Americans have always been seen as sort of abrasive and a bit unknowing, these days it's just worse because many still believe they're the greatest country in the world... They're not even the greatest country in north america
Pyrokneticbeavr
While you aren't wrong, this kind of shit is also not new.
SquaresUnfiltered
Oh yeah, absolutely not a new thing. This has been going on for decades. It's never been okay. Especially now in 2026. And I have the ability to project my voice around the world with just a few buttons. And I'm going to. I'm not the first person, I'm not the last person, but I will be a person preaching that it's not okay.
RockTheBackblast
A friend of mine is a Scottish guy with wild, dark red hair. He's had random people coming up to him in public and just touching or grabbing his hair his entire life. It's insane behaviour, too many people have somehow failed to learn not to touch random strangers in public.
TheYodajen
Why would you walk up to any stranger and touch any part of them? That's so weird. Compliments. The world needs kind words not whatever that was. https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1bzljeXBkcnJrdDkzMGhhMHNsdXRyNWFmNWRzMGI1dmppajM5N2pleSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/nsHreVT7QjlWT2RFdC/200w.webp
JBloodthorn
When I (a guy) was younger and still going out to bars I had lime green hair, and several times drunk women walked up and start touching it. One of them started petting it. It was weird.
IndependenceHallPhiladelphiaPA
when you view people as objects and novelties, that sort of thing seems perfectly reasonable.
ThomasThundersword
You’d be amazed (and disgusted) by how many people will just reach out and touch a pregnant woman’s belly without asking. Then act offended when told to fuck off.
TheYodajen
I was pregnant twice. No one touched my stomach Gross
marthafarquar
Pretty much don't ask anyone if anything on their body is real, and don't touch them except for Heimlich or CPR
wejustdontknow
Honestly, don't even touch me then. Let me die.
birdoe
consensual high fives?
ThomasThundersword
High Fives are, by definition consensual. Otherwise you’re just slapping someone.
Hovencl00f
Why should anyone CARE whether anyone else's hair is "real"?
FrolickingFrolicking
Your point is correct, but, let’s be honest…many stupid people are OBSESSED with “real”, “authenticity”, “fidelity”, semantics trivia, pointing out replicas rather than originals.
WoodORama
Rochester was never a blue haven. It's always been one of the more conservative places in MN.
SquaresUnfiltered
A lot of what I was told about this state I was lied to about. I still like it. I still like some of the people. But yeah, this place is not really comfortable.
WoodORama
I live in Minneapolis and I love it. I've been so proud of my neighbors and how they stood up to ice. But MN as a whole can definitely disappoint you in places.
Zetor
Be like Troy Hawke. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFMy8gNCiQ
3ifish
"Rochester, Minnesota is not the blue haven that people make it out to be." I think that simply means that there is a comfortable margin of people who will not vote Republican, not that all that a**holes moved somewhere else.
OurLordLucifer
Can no one have a thought and keep it to themselves anymore?
Loctavius
My wife is white. She also has extremely long hair. Over the years, several other women have just walked up and started stroking her hair. It's bizarre.
unicorncentaur
Had this issue as a kid, other girls in my classes were always messing with my hair, but not as an adult. Yikes.
DameDePiques
I mean, it's not limited to black women. Don't be rude to strangers, period.
StubbornSlug
Do not touch people without their permission. Do not ask a woman, especially a black woman, if her hair is real. Or if her lips are real. Don't be fucking rude at best, racist at worst. Come on, now.
RalphH
Why 'especially a black woman'? I feel I am missing some context here.
swofromtherock
Maybe the context of the video we're commenting on?
brightlightbarking
Black women's hair has always been judged and controlled according to white beauty standards. Black hair does not exist the same way as white hair. Black women face more societal prejudice over their hair than black men, and have been pressured into styles that destroy their natural hair in order to be accepted. Styles that preserve black hair properly are still frequently ruled as unprofessional and against various dress codes today.
RalphH
Ah, thank you.
fknbastard
I once had a mohawk. You don’t have a mohawk without a lot of product, heating, straightening, flattening, & time. So you typically don’t wash it out and start over every day. You care for it differently. Someone touches that…gets their oils or just gross on it, and now you gotta wash it all out and start over.
You could shave your head & wear a punk wig. It might look very real but that’s cause this is an expensive wig & requires styling too.
This is not about punk rock hair
fknbastard
Also - Alopecia can be genetic BUT can also be caused by the tension and scarring from repeated product and styling. So wigs might also be after alopecia has caused baldness in punk rockers after frequent hair styling.
zellar2020
I cannot believe in 2026 someone has to explain such a simple thing to people wtf.
VaginaPedant
Like being a visibly pregnant woman. Strangers trying to touch my wife's belly way too often. Or telling us we're having a boy/girl because she's carrying high/low. Fucking weirdos. Fuck off.
EveryBodyLovesMe
I actually LOVED when people tried this shit with me. I was unashamedly an asshole about it. I got loud, made it embarrassing for everyone. It was glorious.
Feralkyn
Oh man I'd love examples of what you said!
EveryBodyLovesMe
I wasn’t particularly big even at like 7-8 months. So it was sort of ambiguous, but if ANYONE said something I’d dead pan them and say I wasn’t pregnant. They were horrified. It was amazing.
Anytime someone would ask to touch I would say “only if I can rub your belly back!” Some dipshits still moved in to touch and id sidestep and bluntly tell them “do you understand how weird that is?” By the time I actually popped I had my whole family on guard bc they were tired of seeing me abuse people 🤣
VaginaPedant
"abuse people [who deserved to be abused because they'd earned it]" I like the cut of your jib.
EveryBodyLovesMe
“Giving them exactly what they earned” was appropriate too. But there are character limits lol
Feralkyn
Oh my god lmao. I feel bad for the others on the other hand, like--my mom was always well-meaning but oblivious like that, and she happily asked a co-worker "oh when are you due?!" and got the ol' "uh, not pregnant" and ended up living with MORTIFYING SHAME for 20+ years. She kept mentioning that decades later. I feel bad for having to deal with the attention though jfc, like... you DON'T know if someone is, and even then, damn, keep it to yourself lol
EveryBodyLovesMe
My MiL is the same way. But I have zero forgiveness for it. Especially when I was have a very difficult pregnancy. I didn’t have the capacity to handle or manage anyone else’s feelings or actions. Whether they were intentional or not, grown adults should know how to act (or not act) around other people. -this is coming from someone who has deeply struggled with that- we learn from the shame sometimes.
goddamcat
My wife's a redhead. Same shit
Lampmonster
I was dating a redhead at one point and once at a party some chode asked me if she was red all over. I told him not to speak to me anymore.
goddamcat
What would posses anyone to ask anybody this question?
brattysubsam
Gingers are sexualized because it’s a rare hair color. This leads to odious idiots asking if the carpets match the curtains
My sister is a ginger
SquaresUnfiltered
Ignorance.
DrKonrad
Er, it would never occur to me to ask someone I don't know if their hair, or beard, is real, nor touch it without consent. Is this such a problem in the US that you have to explain that to adults?...
ImAMomWhatsYourSuperpower
Not only in the US. Sadly.
SquaresUnfiltered
Yes. I've experienced my cousins deal with this when I was a kid 20 years ago, and I've seen this happen to my wife more than a handful of times now. Yesterday was the most recent.
birdoe
Is that a thing?!
SquaresUnfiltered
Unfortunately, it's a very prevalent thing that's getting more prevalent.
Oddly enough, it's mostly the generation of women that were around when black women didn't have rights.
birdoe
Weird and gross. This is not uncommon in Asian countries, but I always thought people in English speaking countries understood how fucking weird that was.
FrolickingFrolicking
Why does he say “for the black community”? The instruction is for other people who randomly touch black people’s hair, not “for the black community”
SquaresUnfiltered
Because it happens to black people far more than the other demographic here in America, and there's a racial precedent behind it.
Last I checked, black people were one of the only groups of people that their hair was used to stuff furniture.
It is an underhanded racial slight.
FrolickingFrolicking
No not that part, I misunderstood…it sounded like he meant “this message is for the black community” but apparently he meant “for the benefit of the black community”. It’s strange phrasing because usually a PSA “for X” refers to the audience not the people you’re trying to help.
SquaresUnfiltered
That's a fair misunderstanding, and I appreciate ya.
thebonesofmyancestors
It would have been better worded to say a PSA on behalf of the black community.
FrolickingFrolicking
Oh, I get it now, thanks. Yes very strange to say
“PSA for X…” not meaning the audience but instead meaning the 3rd group who will be helped if the second group listens to the advice of the speaker.
whiskeywonka
I agree its not ok to touch people with out permission, but why is is wrong to ask permission?
DameDePiques
If you know them weel, why not, but why would you go to strangers and ask if you could touch them? That's so creepy!
DWolf
Mind if I touch your ass to see if you work out or it's flabby? Mind if I touch your kid's hair to see if it's still baby soft? Mind if I touch your wife's breasts to see if they're real? Mind if I take a hit off granny's oxygen tank to see what it's like?
What? I asked first! I'm just curious.
LookingLikeASnack
Some questions are inappropriate to ask strangers, chief among them being "Can I touch you?"
alcamar
Do you understand how uncomfortable it is for people to randomly ask if they can touch you? Do you seem impolite and refuse, risking a violent reason(very likely unfortunately), or actually let someone else touch you and just swallow your discomfort.
Why should anyone have to let another put hands on them?
whiskeywonka
You are linking bad results with asking being impolite. Asking is the polite thing. If a person says no, then its No. Hard stop. Its gRapist mentality to not accept No and then become violent. or to just start touching with out asking at all. Nothing I said means anyone HAS to let someone touch them.
alcamar
That's exactly how things escalate, and why is a hard no for anyone that you don't personally know. You don't know what their situation is, what problems they've had, etc. Some people love the attention, some hate it but can't get away from heavily extroverted personalities.
Inability is people to recognize those things on others is a strong lack of empathy and a major concern for society as a whole
whiskeywonka
There is nearly no way to look at a person and know if they 'have issues' with social contact. The only way to know is to ask. Its like me and hand shakes. I very very rarely shake anyone hand, but in business people tend to do it /a lot/. New people cant know it till they attempt it and I politely decline. We need to normalize respecting peoples boundary's but also normalize discovering them. Unless a person hangs a sign saying it, how other than asking do you find out?
SquaresUnfiltered
Nobody has the right to touch anybody else. That mindset needs to go right out the fucking window. At Mach 5.
This isn't a new person. This is a woman who was in her 70s, close to her 80s, somewhere in that bracket. That is a woman who was around when black women didn't have rights. They understand, good and well, the plight and the taboo of what they were doing. These people know better. Making excuses for them is like making excuses for that priest that you know touched the kids...