LoopStricken
45637
1359
27
Jul 21, 2024 2:44 PM
LoopStricken
45637
1359
27
figuringeights
Yo don't worry about it. Really. Why define yourself by it?
DaisyfromDownunder
Being a 39 year old is fine. You might find out one day that losing your virginity with another person is entirely a different thing to losing it on your own.
charondaboatman
melancholyminge
Happy birthday!
Noahbalboa82
1 more year!
ZeroLyfe
GuysJustWannaFish
They didn't have any in the first half, that's the problem
hwatL4bloopy
Uhm there's some people out there who are willing to help you out
LoopStricken
Alas I am also ugly and poor and fat.
bonessasan
This will be me in about a month.
pupquine
Meh, it's overhyped anyway
pupquine
Have a friend who "popped his cherry" at a ripe age of 41. He was dissappponted, to say the least.
pistacher
You're now a 39 year old virgin!
Rockafella83
littlecoatfatguy
metalrulercid
Jamceratops
I just realized it's been 14 years since I've had sex... and 18 since I've been kissed. It's better than being a hole in the mattress for some bored guy at least.
MeatyMouthfeel
DALLASLAVOWNER
so...you're 39?
CarpoolTunnelSyndrome
This guy gets it.
Botticelliii
Unfortunately op doesn't.
lordlawrence1972
A nice road trip to any brothel will solve this problem
FailedMitosis
errrikblack
Tbh at this point you gotta hold out for at least another year so you can be the 40 year old virgin. Otherwise what was the point
Timiny
I remember the day I realized all the good thing in life they talked about when I was kid were just lies.
Vamp13
Just find a professional in the field to solve your problem.
davdreamer
Just get an escort. Be respectful and leave a tip 😉
Sascylle
I had sex when I was 29 for the sake of losing my virginity before hitting 30. I don't regret that I did it, but it wasn't a fulfilling experience—not like THAT.
Is easy to say it's not everything when you got to experience it. I wish we could all have our fulfilling moments, regardless of whether we're the ones getting filled full or doing the filling.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
I just see it like any other first time, First time on a bike with no training wheels, first time cooking some really complicated dish, first time on a rollercoaster, first time fishing, none of them stand out as special apart from that it was the first. Just like with all firsts though, it makes the rest 'easier' since you aren't holding it up on a pedestal or worrying what could go wrong. Certainly has no meaning in regards to who you are as a person, unless that's your whole thing.
unluckyandbored
I mean I'm 45 and still a virgin...but I'm asexual, so to me it's not really a big deal. ...That said, some companionship would be nice once in a while.
aiuta219
Got 10 years on you, bud. It does not get easier.
[deleted]
[deleted]
aiuta219
It just didn't happen. I tried and tried.
theomni
There's lots of ways. Possibly an untreated anxiety disorder that makes it difficult to meet people and establish relationships of any kind. Just as a random example.
Multipass
HansVerhaegen
It's cool, but it's not the big deal society makes it out to be. Don't worry about it. And if you can't go without why not pay a professional?
bikergeek6249
Because that's illegal in many countries, especially the United States, and someone who's inexperienced at hiring professionals is the most likely person to get either busted by the cops or ripped off by the provider's pimp. Also there's an entire other discussion to be had about human trafficking and whether the provider is truly providing of her own free will and not being coerced.
HansVerhaegen
Ah. Forgive me. It's legal where I'm from.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
Legal in Nevada (in the USA). Legal in a bunch of countries around the world, including some easily accessible/safe european ones or you could go to Australia if you don't want any chance of a language barrier
CrisprCAS
Soon you'll get your wizard powers!
Erumun
you become at wizard at 30, he's on the path to arch wizard, possibly then sage.
BesticlesTesticles
Damn, almost made it … lost mine at 29
stupidbrokenme
Not grand wizard?
spartanliam115
i thought it was wizard at 30 then sage at 40
Erumun
you might be right.
DukatNaranek
I'm 43. So sage-Ness or wizardry. Shame.
ImSynnical
Fuck I’m a wizard, harry
Alkuam2
LoopStricken
You tease me, goodly person.
IMarkEverythingISayAsNSFWBecauseModsDontKnowWhatMatureMeans
NSFW While kissing, she could deepthroat you with her little mouth... Sorry, but I thought that and decided everyone else should have to as well.
Alkuam2
WaldiOrWaldemarWhoCares
Sex is not the holy grail - people should stop making such a huge deal about it
theworldcouldbeflat
It's a huge deal. I'm kind autistic and didn't really understand why people bothered with relationships until I was in my 30's. However the autistic tendencies that make me uncomfortable with touch didn't really ever stop me from having sex. It was the only reason i ever touched people at all for about 15 years in my life mostly because I was too drunk or high to care about being touched in those moments. Inexperience is typically the biggest hurdle and is definitely a huge problem in the world.
ttm2
The issue is not the sex or virginity. The issue is not having somebody to be intimate with for over 20 years. The issue is not finding anybody for over 20 years that would do it willingly with you. The issue is having "chances" for a relationship that you you can count on one hand of a very inattentive woodworker.
It makes you feel very defective.
I'm in the same boat as OP, but now I at least know why: autism and being trans.
WaldiOrWaldemarWhoCares
You can thank dating apps for that: they increased the standards 10 fold across the board. Removing 60% of the population out of the dating pool
ttm2
I don't think it's the beauty standard that's the issue, dating apps suck because there's a huge disparity in how the genders approach sex. You can compare it to drowning vs dying of thirst; neither is a nice situation to be in.
And beauty standards aren't the problem for me, I easily find 3/4 of women there to be pretty enough that I can imagine having a relationship with them. Same for body standards: "not obese" is basically my only requirement (I'm very slim myself).
Artebudz
Think my main issue is that I find almost everyone draining to be around. Make no effort to reach out to people, and could never see myself in a relationship with someone I find draining.
Have met one person who I actually feel more awake after hours in their company. Did bring up the subject of relationship 8 months in to knowing them. Was told they are too 'self absorbed' for one at the moment
ttm2
Yeah, that. I don't want to gossip, I want to have meaningful conversations. Learn something or work out a shared point of view. I think there's also a bit of sapiosexualism for me: if a girl will argue a position that I know is simply not true (on the level of "vaccines don't work") it's the easiest way for me to lose any interest in her.
Anyway, hope that that person will be able to find some more time for other people in their life. Good luck!
Erumun
okay but sex is a common human experience that by never participating, it really makes one feel as if alarm bells are going off.
Artebudz
Im in my mid 20s and feeling out of place due to peer pressure of sorts. Closest ive ever been to a relationship was asking 1 person out last month.
Can imagine the feeling of 'other' grows with age
Erumun
it really does.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
Meh, if people really want to lose their virginity then they can do it easily unless they are in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere with no money to spend. But it seems they want to lose it in a meaningful way or with someone that meets their (likely) high standards. So it is up to them to make that decision. weighing their desires and feelings against each other. I don't think it has any real impact on a person or who they are, unless they want it to.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
I would say traveling and experiencing different cultures is much more important and impactful to a persons growth
ttm2
the issue is not sex, the issue is not finding deep enough of a connection with other people that it could lead to sex
DameDePiques
Or they're just, you know, very very ugly.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
Doesn't matter, there are ugly people of all genders and surely there is a subreddit or app for them. also not much money to travel to where it's professionally legal if they really want it to be gone
everythingzed
As the girl who was a hoe for affirmation most of her life; sex is fucking overrated. Making love is an other story. Saving yourself for someone actually special is a wise thing.
OliverKlozoff1269
Are you still a hoe? Asking for...me 😏
Katateochi
tbh, like so many things, it's prob somewhere in between (no! not legs), I mean, between being an ultrahoe and being so inexperienced that you don't know your own kinks (or even think you don't have any).
Puntifex
Wouldn't you agree the reason you're able to state it's overrated is *because* you've had your fair share of it, partly due to it being a coping mechanism for underlying issues? In OP's case, I could imagine it's from a completely different desire (If nothing else straight up curiosity) and will/might take a while to become overrated.
everythingzed
It’s a little bit of both I guess. I get that it’s agony never having tried it, more so because how I affects one’s self esteem and hinder a big part of social development in a downward spiral, but my point is that sex, or any human connection, demand way more work, time and engagement to be rewarding than you’d think without trying it. And it’s still not a guarantee for creativity connection even if you put in a good amount from your end! Still gotta be received to an equal amount. Hah. Pun!
Puntifex
Fair enough! Young (and somewhat desperate) me could never have believed back then that lackluster experiences in bed (indeed due to lack of actual connection/attraction) could be a thing but here we are. Even though I was attempting to make a point, I'm at the age right now where I absolutely agree it's the connection first and foremost as everything else will subside eventually. :)
ttm2
Can't speak for OP, but as a fellow 38 yo virgin it's that lack of connection that I'm most upset about. I could have easily pay for having sex, but that doesn't buy you a relationship.
everythingzed
Thing is even if you just want cold, platonic sex there’s always a degree of vulnerability to it, especially when you’re inexperienced. Like any interaction you get better at putting up armor where it’s needed or you learn to drop and pick up that curtain with more ease, but truth is there’s no easy way to go about it. It’s a battle with one’s own self about how much you’re ready to put on the table and the lesson is that it’s the exact same game for sex as for love, the stake is just way higher
ttm2
I understand that. But my problem begins before the "being vulnerable", it's "finding a girl that we actually want to talk with each other, not at each other".
BionicRagdoll
Sir Issac Newton died a virgin so you're in good company!
IamtheAIyoushouldfear
By the sounds of it, he's in no one's company 😞
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
He was a nerd.
CelestialSea
Sir Isaac Newton was probably gay. He was "close friends" with Nicolas Fatio de Duillier for five years, and when their relationship ended he had a nervous breakdown. "Friends" don't get nervous breakdowns because a relationship ended. Lovers sometimes do.
TylerDurden85
To be fair it was probably really hard to have sex before he invented gravity.
AntennaDibb
he wouldn't associate himself with a smooth brain like me
proxykalevra
I mean that jerk invented calculus so he kinda got what he deserved IMO
worm61
From what I understand, he’s remembered as never having slept with a woman because he was gay.
Bigblackdick69
He did discover rainbows
Boksha
But... I don't want to be in Isaac Newton's company. Guy was a jerk...
theimgurappsucksballs
Probably just needed to get laid
dorenavant
Was curious so had to look it up and holy moly are you right!
https://www.forbes.com/sites/rosspomeroy/2013/11/04/why-was-isaac-newton-such-a-jerk/
yeahhedugit
Interesting, he may have had Asperger's. Counterfeiters can destroy a society, so, in the days when life was cheap, that might have been routine justice.
Also, Newton discovered calculus 20 years before leibnez.
MithridateEupator
Well he was probably autistic https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn3676-einstein-and-newton-showed-signs-of-autism/
RichardNunez
Uhh, of course. Most IT tech nerds (like myself) are in the same boat. Thank gawd my wife puts up with my quirks.
MasterMookie
Virginity has no value. It isn't important if you want to find somone who loves you it is quite possible. The important part is are you happy? If yes you don't need to do anything else set a goal and improve yourself towards it.
LoopStricken
Am I happy? Gods no.
MasterMookie
What do you want in life?
LoopStricken
Having had depression since I was about ten years old, I have no idea.
MasterMookie
Yeah I am in the same seat. No real want. Just on this earth. I enjoy the sunshine, a cold soda and a good book. I figure I will find something I truly want someday, not worry about it and at least enjoy the small things. Though it is envious to see people full of aspiration.
LoopStricken
Happy bastards.