hahahabit
13159
12720
548
test
How to post shit
Dec 16, 2015 10:57 PM
hahahabit
13159
12720
548
How to post shit
SamuelNiemiec
Omlette du fromage
den12345
"aller faire pleurer le colosse" means more "going to piss". i dont judge, urophilia can be fun...
flufffybunnny
French is my first language and I still had to read all the translations
DaddyDoesTheDishes
Everyone knows the test post gets the most upvotes
AlabasterCrashesDown
I speak perfect french in my head. Out loud it sounds bloody awful
PBandJotter
Now i will finally understand all of that French porn i've been watching
Nexus763
French scientist : Nikita Belucci
TheDudeMarky
I hate it when I'm getting into some really good amateur porn, someone speaks, and suddenly I'm looking up German words out of curiosity.
SirBlackMage
I speak German, so I don't have to deal with that. Hooray!
ForTheSwarm
Je peux jouir dans ta bouche, @OP?
dartron5000
if we had a book like this in school i would be fluent in french right now.
mymylee
As a French Canadian, yes le capot and la capote are two very different things.
CupcakesAndLipstick
Precison: that's France french, not Canadian french.
Grehgous
Ah, good. I can now add this to the list of languages that I can ask someone if I can cum in their hand.
Darkwhen
Why would you want to cum in someone's hand...?
ErinFromTheOffice
So you can make them lick it off their palm.
huffsky
Je Jouis!
WillJeSuis
Je suis Will!
PoutineEater
as a french canadian i've never said ''Va faire pleurer le colosse''
AlienPrime
because we canadians speak broke ass french. Like instead of Chaise, its "Chayse" or instead of oui it's "WOIN"
Cutfirehose
"Go make the giant cry". Hehe. If only it were true. and I wasn't the one responsible for the Jolly Pink Giant's tears...
GreatPineappleWarSurvivor
welp gotta go va faire pleurer le colosse
ashke77
damn wish I had had this book while I was taking French...woulda made life more interestings
AngeIa
"La plume est dans la cul de ma tante."
IamMillaTheWorst
pardon? Elle veut dire quoi celle-la? XD
Blackd0nuts
"The feather is in my aunt's butt"
AcNette
I'm French and I approve those translations. Now let me jack off in peace !
blink182walkingonthebeach
Say it in french lol
AcNette
Je suis français et j'approuve ces traductions. À présent, laissez-moi me branler en paix !
blink182walkingonthebeach
Sexy af
Nexus763
reuelshyne
Fun fact. "Je me branle" can also mean "IDGAF", as well as fapping.
graou13
IDGAF would be "Je m'en branle", "Je me branle" only mean fapping.
reuelshyne
Didn't realize autocorrect screwed me. Meant to type 'm'en' Yay! Internet mistakes! Thanks for the correction
zoltan67
Not really. "Je me branle" only means "I'm fapping". For "IDGAF" you will rather user "Je m'en branle"
Zokalwe
Or "J'en ai rien à branler" ("I have nothing to fap about that")
reuelshyne
Yes this is correct. I am a victim of qwerty autocorrect.
Danny1969
Paris, here I cum.
stevenchenshow
does anyone even cum in vaginas anymore??
sestgut
Girls
Amordevine
Hey! I have this book!
SheWhoRunsIntoTrees
Could you tell us what this book is? Seriously, I'd like to learn French.
barefootbear
I believe it's part of the "making out" series of books. There's making out in French, making out in arabic... Japanese... etc.
AdienAlexander
"Dirty French: Everyday Slang from 'What's Up?' to 'F*%# Off!' " I um... know this for... um.... reasons...
barefootbear
Do you know if it comes in other languages? I need books like this in Arabic for reasons.
AdienAlexander
It does, but I'm only aware of Spanish, French and ASL.
BlackPengu
wich book is it? tell ussss
Amordevine
"Dirty French: Everyday Slang from 'What's Up?' to 'F*%# Off!' "
BlackPengu
spank you senpai
Amordevine
My sister got it for me before I moved to France
BlackPengu
"You will need this"
Izzdelp
Hey hey hey, what book is this?
Amordevine
"Dirty French: Everyday Slang from 'What's Up?' to 'F*%# Off!' "
ThisIsMyFourth
I have a french final tomorrow, and somehow I will fuck up and use these
AwkwardKyle
Same.
yeekee
The answer to all of these is "oui"
Aglasshorse
hahahahhahahaha!!! That's what my husband would say!
MorgothsORing
Unfortunately my SO is not down for it "dons ton cul."
KnightOfTheBlackRose
I'm pretty sure I have a Russian version of the same book
ballq
I could really use that
mitotinytims
send me pics plzkthx
OmenRider
And I have the Japanese version
CorrectorOfSlightlyOffQuotes
I assume it has tentacles.
JapaneseAvantGarde
Could you post a page of it?
bethtadeath
Dirty Japanese is awesome
Blackd0nuts
Good! I'll finally understand my porn.
TheClassyGentleman
what book is this. its good.
KnightOfTheBlackRose
Mine is called "Dirty Russian" It's good to learn some pretty nifty phrases but don't think it's a serious language book.
SmoeAhsolse
I had thought "hide this French book," as it looks very similar to the Spanish ones I have. Just more Frencher.
KnightOfTheBlackRose
I would assume the others are titled the same but with their respective languages replacing "Russian"
TheClassyGentleman
Woah, you must be very smart!
sammpyy
French is such a romantic language that if you whisper "je peux jouir dans ton cul?" to a girls ear in any situation (1/2)
sammpyy
(2/2) she will let you regardless of whether she understands french or not.
DonDiegoSiDonBernardo
Well I'm french and my gf is too. If I whisper that she's either going to burst out laughing or... nope that's it, she's going to lose it
HaruhiFTW
Can confirm. I just said this to my gf... she said yes... now she is upset
IPoopAfterDrinkingCoffee
Repost? Check. "Test" Check. Double-dipping with top comment? Check.
Kircala
This just in. OP's comment is at -92.
nuclearcheese
I also poop after drinking coffee.
appaismyspiritanimal
OP's comment is now at -104
adougslife
Not bad
GeorgeoftheDongle
Nitpicking comment? Check
WLAFadeaway
Calling out the nitpicker? Check. Now someone do me!
GeorgeoftheDongle
Get a new checklist...in the works
Dickopter
Holy shit, as a french guy, those are fucking nicely translated.
danzafan37
Had the one of these (they are the "Making out in X" where X is a language) in Chinese and I showed it to a girl in China. Was 100% accurate
whotheFUCKletthedogsout
As an English guy, ya I know!
INDIG0M0NKEY
Duo lingo doesn't teach this shit!
SmoeAhsolse
Believe this would be from a "hide this French book." As it looks almost exactly like the Spanish ones I have. Except, Frencher.
WhatTheFrog
When I was teaching French in Ireland, students would translate "enjoy!!!" into "jouir!!!", gotta say I had some fun there.
Dickopter
This is a fair, albeit totally outdated, translation! Same goes with "to kiss" translated into "baiser".
nimrod1997
Va faire pleurer le collosse.. Hahaha. Ça, c'est la meilleure
IamMillaTheWorst
Elle est horrible celle la!!
Shmebann
As an American knowing only English, you used 'holy shit' nicely yourself. Why don't you use it on someone who deserves it (;
theladygrey
It's a part of a series called "Dirty (Language)" Dirty German was incredibly well translated, too.
ImNotTheOneGoddamnit
As someone who's been living in France for 5 years, can confirm
marcaurel45
C'est tout de même bizarre que la communauté imgurienne ne poste pas plus de chose en français
Dickopter
Nous sous-représentons cette communauté en terme numérique ! Rien d'étonnant, donc. N'oublions pas que Imgur est mondial, pas européen !
shartsicle
srsly. chapeau
philsov
I thought body parts weren't possessive. On your face = "sur la visage"?
Dickopter
"sur ton visage." "Sur le visage" would be "on the face."
Dickopter
The question you should ask yourself is "am I speaking of a particular someone's face or am I speaking about faces in general?"
Dickopter
All in all, it pretty much works the same as english. Do not forget that the possessive pronoun concords with the possessed noun(here, face)
Seasonic
It is missing "Ménage a trois" for me.
ayemytato
I'd hope so... That thing any girl wants to hear when you're about to have sex is.. "Dick.. Cum... In... Ass"
Idontknowwhatmyusernameis
As a quebecer, if someone tells me that, I would laugh my ass off (you know the one full of cum). We never use most of these words.
anonymous0296
Actually french don't use any of these words either. You do find that language in 20 year old porn VHS.
alsdfadbljksasfhjasfbdaEEEEEEEYYYYYYMACARENA
"Je peux jouir sur tes nichons?" = je me suis fait une crampe à force de rire.
ANorthman
I grew up on the ON side of the Ottawa river in a rural area, the bastardized mix of french, slang and english spoken was painful to hear.
TheComicBookDude
J'VA V"NIR!
WhoLetThePotatoesOut
If someone told me:" ... Sur tes nichons" I would have died of laughter. French expressions are so different!
Waidonut
Same lol. Jouir is so proper.
YourWaifuIsTrash
On ne dit pas "jouir"? Est-ce qu'on utilise "vendre" au lieu?
LiterallyCanada
We say ''venir'', literally ''coming''
YourWaifuIsTrash
Oh, why did I think "vendre" is "to come"? In any case, thanks for clarifying that!
SleepyGoose
"Vendre" is "to sell"
kingoftacos
best part of thread
IamMillaTheWorst
As a french girl, if a man told me: Va faire pleurer le colosse (go make the giant cry),I think i'd laugh until I couldn't breath!!!
AlkeneThiol
This is real slang??
IamMillaTheWorst
Never heard that before, in French nor in English... So probably not
YourWaifuIsTrash
Le français est ma langue seconde, que dit-on autre pour dire ça?
jineb
"Cyclope" instead of "colosse".
UsuallySpecial
Two countries separated by a common language, just like USA and UK
larouquine
That is the best way of describing it that I've ever heard.
lostnortherner
IIRC it's an Oscar Wilde quote.
Idontknowwhatmyusernameis
Actually a province and a country but yeah pretty much the same thing.
Counterfit
It's not like Quebec hasn't tried to be a country.
JuliaY
Yeah, and Quebec may not be a country, but it's still bigger than France.
LiterallyCanada
But way more sparsely populated,
BlueBomber05
Quebec is more influenced by English and use the verb to come like they do in the US and the rest of Canada
WhoLetThePotatoesOut
Also their stop sign are literally "stop" but the French word is "Arrêt".
WhoLetThePotatoesOut
Not necessarily true. For example, people from France says week-end and parking instead of fin de semaine et stationnement.
Exowe
Instead of "jouir" we use "venir" which literally translate to "coming" and I never realized that before typping this comment.
LggiLovesNewWaveAndIndieRockPop
we used "venir" in spanish too, same translation =)
SleepyGoose
I never realized that either!
Krocsyldiphithic
I still have nightmares about my french teacher's sternomastoid when saying "venir". She lifted up her chin and kinda flexed her throat. Ew.
railgap
I had a French teacher in 4th and 5th grade who was simply a bitch. Beautiful, but bitchy. Feared her. :)
Krocsyldiphithic
If only mine had been beautiful. At least yours looked good while she was telling you about the french word for coming ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
MadamPuddifoot
Sternocleidomastoid. Fun word.
Krocsyldiphithic
yay for the long version :D
railgap
...which I have never heard anyone other than my wife utter... until just now. Er, read... or saw... oh hell you know what I mean!
gottakeepgoing
Hey I have one of these books but it teaches Japanese instead. I didn't know they were making other languages too.
merprincesspacifica
Let's be in love
ImgrrrrBrowser5by7
As someone livng in France and learnt the language, I would not understand some of them. Making a giant cry? Oula!
Squossifrage
They're almost all wrong.
MrBelvedere
No they're not.
Squossifrage
On closer examination, some of them are really good and some of them are really weird.
Sandrak
Tu te masturbes?
ShanghaisFamousLittleDublinDistrict
As a half french I agree...
iwouldliveinsaltforyou
bottom half or top half? ;)
peoniesinkittylitter
Nicely translated but do French people actually speak like that? It reads as being very proper, how a French aristocrat might talk dirty.
Erkhyan
This uses both common vocabulary and common grammar. Stiff-upper-lipped French reads very differently.
CharismaticBroccoli
Yes. I am a countryside french woman and I talk like that
peoniesinkittylitter
Oh ok. Thanks :)
Arkebes
Fucking indeed
Gorzine
Well not bad. Some on these are a bit vulgar / outdated but yeah pretty accurate
sheel303
And fucking hot.
majephticme
zgeg
BlueBomber05
I'll probably confuse jouer for jouir and get into a lot of trouble
kalicobahamas
It uses 3 syllabes; we mostly use "Je viens" for "I come"
TheGirafe
Coup de foutre and coup de foudre
Jesusthedovakin
Oh god yeah...
StartledKoala
Jouir avec les enfants?
BlueBomber05
Oui, j'aime jouir avec les enfants. NO WAIT I MEANT JOUER, PLEASE DON'T PUT ME ON A REGISTRY
StartledKoala
Too late, everyone will soon know.
BlueBomber05
I mean I like to watch my kids play...
woodwardja12
Jouer can lead to jouir
ilookfuckingcool
Always
WaterDistributionEngineer
After all this time?
ilookfuckingcool
You, sir, get an A+
thefreshestD
It usually does. At least wrestling will
ilookfuckingcool
God, that's my fucking favorite
PoutineEater
Je peux jouer dans ton cul? that sound like something my doctor would say!
J0joTheIdiotCircusBoy
Okay, that made me laugh.
YourWaifuIsTrash
Vous avez besoin d'un nouveau docteur, je pense! Et aussi, une thérapeute, peut être.
PoutineEater
En effet :P
VladimirIlyichLenin
Je comprend ca. Je suis hereux.
YourWaifuIsTrash
C'est un bon sentiment, de comprendre le français! Est-ce que le français n'est pas votre langue première? C'est ma deuxième.
Bertholomew
Are they pronounced the same?
Rampagingtortoise
They aren't pronounced the same but if you don't know how to pronounce er (eh) in french then you may mix it up as "eerr" which would be ir
istealthetopcommentandrepost
It's pronounced gif..
YourWaifuIsTrash
First is pronouncer joo-ay, it means "to play", second is "joo-eer", it means "to cum". Also, it's a soft j, like J + Sh.
istealthetopcommentandrepost
Like gif or gif?
PooPooInSpaghettiEveryoneUpsetti
Yep, soft "j" as in "gif"... *runs away laughing"
kevinallover
zh
HoovesMcBoozeThePartyCentaur
Say "jew" quickly (slur it), then say "hey" without the "h" for jouer. Same first step, but then say "ear" for jouir.
woodwardja12
Perfect way to say the pronunciation of the J... Been trying to tell my mom how and couldn't describe it.
MooseCannon
I prefer spelling the sound "zh" instead of "J+Sh" but it more or less sounds the same
dangerousliaisons
Holy shit, as an American girl, I'd like to hear you talk all the time. I'll make you sandwiches
ForgivingCat
*Croissants
kaboom83
Je vais te péter l'oignon.
Squeezit
Ich sprechen auf deutsch :( ᶰᶦᶜʰᵗ ˢᵒ ᵍᵘᵗ⋅⋅⋅
Dickopter
Je fais déjà les meilleurs sandwiches d'Europe !
dangerousliaisons
Ok. Pick your cold cuts. If you know what I mean. *wink
FunkyFunkyJones
[Definitely Also French Words!]
AlkeneThiol
[Poorly spelled Spanish and English words with random accented letters thrown in to appear French but definitely isn't also]
TheDivineUsersub
Est-ce que un peu de compétition te déranges, mec?
voxolotl
Prouve-le ! ouo
cosmicgrizzly
comme une femme américaine, je vais vous faire venir
dangerousliaisons
Be my boyfriend
darthsithh
you know, we speak french in the EU...everywhere :D
chicksnicket
A French guy huh.....
Dickopter
Promis juré craché ! Croix de bois, croix de fer, si je mens... Je ne veux pas aller en enfer!
VendrediFromOuterspace
Bien vu l'aveugle.
EmuMoogle
All I really remember from high school French is "Eh, bébé, veux-tu goûter ma saucisson d'amour? Après, je peux t'enculer!"
OldAccDeadLol
Translation?...
lordofthedice
'Hey baby (I think that literally means baby the child) would you like to eat my sausage of love. After I fuck you in the ass.'
OldAccDeadLol
Classy
EmuMoogle
Yep, I'm not sure how to say "babe" as in "yo, sup babe", so I just substituted it with the best I could think of.
IamMillaTheWorst
Good god where did you find this? ahahahah this is horrible!
lordofthedice
I think he cobbled it together from what phrases he learned/could remember from high school.
EmuMoogle
Indeed I did
MrBelvedere
*mon
lordofthedice
I like how that's the only thing you corrected.
MrBelvedere
One thing at a time, bro.