MakisDad
589317
16616
141
May 10, 2014 7:00 AM
MakisDad
589317
16616
141
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
“The tyrant fears the laugh [of the people] more than the assassin's bullet.” —Robert A. Heinlein
IupvoteSource
+1
TomAtofromPalletTown
This shit is so deep that the Mariana Trench just gasped for air.
Pandapool
This shits so deep Adele can't even roll in it.
hezekiel
Survival of the fitness, boys. - Ricky
teamporkchop
Who the hell are you supposes to be, Indianapolis Jones? -Ricky
hezekiel
One man's garbage is another man person's good ungarbage. -Ricky
raycu93
32. http://imgur.com/4roPvO2
HeyLookAGinger
Still could be said better, most people can't get past the cheese.
MotherOfDragonsBreakerOfChainsGiverOfBoners
I literally just watched this movie yesterday. yes
yourenotwrongyourejustanasshole
"I always upvote ass" - @Razor10000
IupvoteSource
+1
brianorr
Truer words were never spoken.
Schadenfreuda
me too
eftwyrd
I like your nick.
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
"Don't believe everything you read on the Internet" -Jesus
demigod115
Abraham Lincoln said that!
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
Don't believe everything you read on the Internet, man.
demigod115
I was joking.
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
"Nobody on the internet is ever joking." - Stalin
demigod115
"Quotes are meaningless on the internet."- Aristotle
dasmegabyte
"Most quotes are bullshit; a way for those who never did anything to attribute their vapidity to someone who did." -- Carl Sandberg
GasBandit
The Fight Club quote (#30) typifies that 90s mentality. All of a sudden after the 90s we discovered actual struggles aplenty.
xsable
your struggles are meaningless compared to those of the past. read a history book...
zombienerd88
"She got a big booty so I call her Big Booty" -2Chainz
datXUDO
Quotations* quote is a verb
god007
"Hodor". - Hodor
howmanyuserscouldausernamenameifausernamecouldnameusers
Hodor's most profound hodoring.
ClaytronJames
I was about halfway down this when I thought, "I'm gonna do a Hodor quote" You beat me to it. Have my upvote
monkeyvonban
"Hodor".- Walder 'Hodor'
Setzerak
Logged in just to give you an upvote. I loves me some Hodor.
NeilTysonsAstrophysics
Hodor! + Hordor
IupvoteSource
+1
KarelGott
Sent a shiver down my spine.
softcheese
Serious chills.
spyderacidburn
"I am Groot" - Groot
FrigginCornflakes
https://twitter.com/HisMajestyGroot
RunsOnPizza
Today I was in a meeting, and on a break I was chatting about the scene in season one where you see Hodor's cock, because I am absolutely
RunsOnPizza
100% professional. Suddenly the room went quiet RIGHT when I blurted out "Yeah, Hodor, more like HUNGdor!" and I snorted at my own joke.
wessyfbaby
"Hodor" - Hodor, probably.
Eltman93
'"Hodor" - Hodor, probably.' - wessyfbaby, probably.
eftwyrd
"'"Hodor" - Hodor, probably.' - wessyfbaby, probably." - Eltman93 almost certainly.
TheCharacterLimitInUserNamesIsALargeNumberAndIWillAbuseThatFact
""""Hodor" - Hodor, probably." - wessyfbaby, probably." - HeKnowsTheWay, most definately."
TheGayPenguin
*Definitely. I used to do that a lot.
TheCharacterLimitInUserNamesIsALargeNumberAndIWillAbuseThatFact
Ah thanks. I thought there wasn't something quite right about it. I pressed enter before putting any more thought into it.
Pullmyfinger
Beep boop beep- R2D2
press1forenglish
Im gonna try to one of these on people every . Wait. That would make "my passion a quotation". Im going fishing instead.
xenotrioxin
How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real
chefmagenta
-Jaden Smith
bgscurtis
Albert Einstein obviously didn't work in retail then.
LosPer
"FUCK THE KING!" - The Hound....
copingcabana
”I drank what?!?" -Socrates
TheAmazingPseudoIntellectual
This thread should be renamed, "Quotes that 'that guy' in highschool used on facebook to farm likes and seem like a deep thinker."
theboywonder
I made it like a quater of the way through, which is more studying then I've done for finals
theboywonder
you guys ever wake up and shit your pants?
Vicwood
I hope you're not studying English
SexyHobbitses
Why the hell is this getting upvoted? What a miserable thing to say.
NecessityForAnonymity
I'm an overachiever, I made it all the way through...still haven't studied for finals though...uh oh
MittensPlease
PREACH
PandaSkellington
Bring on the finals!
KnightoftheN64
I hear that.
punchika
oh god yes. me aswell. please let me pass on monday. good luck my friend.
NooneintheVerse
I read all of it instead of studying for a final and writing two papers. I'm a terrible student sometimes.
xooberon
Oscar Wilde would have been the king of twitter
LearnedCoward
More like the king of Tumblr.
actonthat
This is my favorite observation ever. I have a collection of his one-liners in a huge book, I should post the good ones.
Koalasnotabear
You definitely should! I'm trying to get my friend to read some classic literature and so I started with Wilde cause he's sharp and witty.
dissipant
I wonder how many retweets that post would have gotten.
12345onceicaughtafishalive
Read The Picture of Dorian Gray. Henry has many witty aphorisms like the ones aove
xooberon
I read it years ago, might give it a reread though
TheRicM
Other quotes of his I like: "Their doneness, 300%". "Their can't, even".
AThreeFootTallChocolateMooseWithFudgeEyes
"The Picture of Dorian Gray" was based on his life and he changed his name to Stephen Fry
88mixy
Oscar Wilde was 80% sass 20% sex
OEnone77
I think it's more 70/30 but Yup.
shootsandleaves
His goddamn dying words in a hotel room were "Either the drapes go or I do!" and then he died. 100% sass.
NothingWilde
Last I knew, the hotel has been renovated. They chose to leave Wilde's suite alone. It can be rented, but is more costly than the others.
DickMercenary
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has got to go."
JPBStory
Instead, his modern-day counterpart is. https://twitter.com/stephenfry
88mixy
They look somewhat similar
JPBStory
he played him in a movie, have a google image search of "stephen fry wilde" and your mind will be even more blown.
DrunkInRlyeh
You might say he was...born to be Wilde.
proweller
But he's just not. I love SP to the extent that he's the only man these straight lips would blow, but he has just a fraction of Wilde's wit.
NothingWilde
Let's be fair... what we consider witty nowadays pales in comparison to Oscar.
MantisTobagganMD
Whatever you want to think to romanticize the past and belittle the present, I won't stop you.
JPBStory
He doesn't always have the same wit (he sometimes does!) but he's got the same, if not greater intelligence and comparable fabulousness.
proweller
"Greater intelligence" I disagree wholeheartedly, Fry having produced nothing to prove that. but I'mma try not to argue on the web
JPBStory
Fair enough. They're incomparable tbh but I'm not sure why I really wrote that. Fry's reputation is primarily 'smart guy' I suppose.
JPBStory
Also http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120514/
apublicsecret
Did William Wallace really say that, or is that just the line on the case of the Braveheart DVD?
dennisfinch
yep pretty positive it's just the tagline of the movie
HowIChrgeLazer
Bitch! - Jesse Pinkman
JustForTheLulz
http://imgur.com/EmuaQLH
Atharaenea
-Micheal Scott
moxymox
Whenever I read "Albert Einstein" I read "Albert 'Probably not Albert Einstein' Einstein"
ChuckNorrisAteMySock
No, he said that stuff, I've seen them before.
10thDr
I feel that way about most president's quotes. -presidential speech writer.
clotblock
I read a biography on him recently, it's sad to see what gets attributed to him
XoxElisaXox
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do."
RifleWith30000Triggers
- Black Science Man
teamporkchop
Oh I quote this so often. Truer words, man, truer words...
scuba7jb
"Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling."
scuba7jb
-Jack handy.
teamporkchop
Always carry around two sacks. Then when someone asks your help with carrying things say 'sorry, got these sacks'. -jack handy
mt77932
"Choosing between Republican or Democrat is like choosing between being shot or stabbed". - My dad
krypet007
and in some countries, it's just various degrees of being shot with a knife.
qoppaphi
Which would you prefer, to burn to death or to drown?
ItsAlwaysTimeToDiddle
Don't you know? It's always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.
cjgrayso
"If you want to live like a Republican, vote Democratic." - My dad
Lobsterqueen
shot- faster
ChuckNorrisAteMySock
“Conservative, n. A statesman who is enamored with existing evils, as distinguished from a liberal who wishes to replace them with others.”
CaptainQuarkk
But your sock- will it be ok? :(
ChuckNorrisAteMySock
-Ambrose Bierce
Islander255
I'd rather get stabbed than shot
SavageDrums
At least crucifixion gets you out in the open air...
IupvoteSource
+1
TurkeyBaster
shot
DonkeyKongsLongShlongInABongIsWrong
"money doesn't buy happiness but I'd rather cry in a Mercedes." - Mine :)
88mixy
Hey! That's only half yours, that's a famous quote in China, "I'd rather cry in a Mercedes than smile on a bicycle"
impulsivepassion
I'd rather smile on a bicycle than cry in a mercedes.
iwantashortnameforonceohshit
Me too. Like, genuinely. What good is money if you're unhappy?
MeatWadGetsTheHoneysG
Try not smiling on a jet ski
flyingdutchfrenchman
"Don't try to sell the bear pelt before catching the fish" -My dad
popculturella
Douche and turd sandwich.
ATSword
You are more likely to survive getting stabbed though ... ( XD )
kleelu
I'd like to know where you got the data to support that statement
ATSword
"but the mortality rate associated with stabbing has ranged from 0-4%" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stab_wound
cdhunt6282
Nobody wins in a knife fight
thattheologyguy
In my opinion, stabbing hurts more.
PetrificusTotalus
Depends on the firearm and object you'd be getting stabbed by.
ATSword
Of course of course, but my statement is still accurate unless you go out of your way to set up an unusual statistically unlikely scenario.
cdhunt6282
.22 rifles and pistols are incredible common. So are Kabars and Kukris. Any would kill you if used correctly.
ATSword
But a comparison of stabbing incidents to shooting incidents will lead to more deaths with Shooting incidents. Come on...
MrJoeGGriffiths
And the location of the wound.
Pandaphilophobe
Not actually true. GSWs are generally less lethal than legitimate knife wounds. Knives do a huge amount of damage.
ATSword
A) They said "Stabbed" not "Knife" B) Wiki on Stab wound shows in the UK a mortality rate of 0-4% so do you have alternative evidence?
Pandaphilophobe
Colloquially ¨get stabbed¨ implies a knife. As for lethality, flesh contracts around a knife stab or slash compounding the damage
Pandaphilophobe
A 1/4 inch box cutter can create a half-inch or deeper cut very easily. 3- or 4-inch blades can easily reach vulnerable organs, etc.
ATSword
But you aren't comparing it to anything! Gun shot wounds are high velocity with less 'smooth' cuts. Thus, more lethal. Do you have Evidence?
doctor7
http://imgur.com/Rrtodqk
SuperCleverUserName
Great gif, wasted on a great post
sabotender
That's a pity. There are tons of posts on here that are TL:DR sob stories. I skip those. But this was a good read.
witsd
Then I hope you come back to them sometime, because you missed out.
JustinTheHuman
I enjoy how no one is really commenting on the quality of these quotes.
GaryCXJk
It's because they probably were uploaded in PNG format.
AlbertFrankenstein
Only one who understood what he meant
CountSnarkula
I would bet that is because they hit a little too close for comfort.
ThisGuyDisguisedTheSkies
It's because there is only one true rattling quote to be heard.
Efreeti
I don't.
Wherewasthelastplaceyousawit
It's because they're more worried about int3rn3t p0intz than actually absorbing these.
Joatmon
It could be because they speak well enough on their own and invite neither the necessity for contest nor agreement.
RoxieRevolver
Exactly!
Curlyneil
Damn it if that wasnt beautifully written.
GandalfTheTartan
A very good point.
koopaya
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Kempyboi
Wordsmith
belligerentandnumerous
31 quotes, 0 women.
leksiw
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." Alice Walker , _The Color Purple_
teamporkchop
With all due respect, many of these are from periods in history where men's opinions were more revered. And some come from great leaders 1/2
LearnedCoward
Fails the Bechdel test with flying colors.
leksiw
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. -Marie Skłodowska-Curie, Nobel Prize Winner Physics (1903) & Chemistry (1911)
impulsivepassion
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent- Eleanor Roosevelt
Seba2298
"A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others"- Ayn Rand.
mackspower
Atlas Shrugged - what an awesome book.
imnotyourbuddyguy
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" - Maya Angelou
yyack
Classic woman.
teamporkchop
Who were, of course, men. We are just now experiencing a growth in the number of great female leaders. Our children will read their quotes.
Pandapool
Yup
belligerentandnumerous
I agree! I just thought to point it out because a lot of people probably wouldn't have noticed anything was wrong with this list.
DoctorCatDog
Nothing is WRONG with the list. As someone else said, there are fewer commentaries on life written by women. There will be soon, but not yet
actonthat
That not even close to true. There have always been great women. They're just been shoves aside. We can give them their due.
belligerentandnumerous
Also true. Most of the men on this list have great female equivalents in their era and location.
teamporkchop
I'm not saying there has not always been good women leaders but its not untrue that history made less of an effort to revere their opinions.
fearandloathebananas
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" - Evelyn Beatrice Hall
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[deleted]
fearandloathebananas
I know.
[deleted]
[deleted]
fearandloathebananas
Congrats! I wish I were drunk.