Mar 20, 2023 1:01 PM
OctaviaMinor
369438
1717
54
When it’s break time it’s break time
remember_to_turn_on_your_wifi
funny
StephenDaniels
I know I'm not fast enough for #1 but I have to wonder about say Mike Tyson at age 19, particularly against someone like me.
DoctorWhoandDallasCowboys
#3 I hope he gets eaten
Banzai51
The dude slapping the murder horse is living in borrowed time.
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
With a thumbnail of a dude about to be executed, I was very hesitant.
PenguinNamedWobbles
#3 maybe all the hippo wanted was face pets/scrubbies. Not a slap fest.
blahblahblahnobackstory
#1 This person learned some things about themselves, lol
OlemGolem
#3 This zoo sure looks professional...
cre8majic
The Weimaraner is asking 'Who's the alpha dog NOW?? Huh??!?'
kamikazehindenburg
#6 Soon we will discover the true reason God took away their legs.
MrRandom314159
#1 It's a gun. What kind of dumbass puts it right up against them. It's a ranged weapon.
murderhobbit
#3 you-- you need better walls
echonite
#1 No matter how good you think you are, you will not have a good time trying to grab the gun form someone.
SecondSince
#8 Both these idiots deserve to be severely punished. Poor green car got mullered.
red1r
How's the cat gonna get down?
ToonamiT0M
#1
crlamke
Master Ken never gets old. So stupid it's funny.
Toodamagedtocare
#4
StellarJay77
#8 I really hope no one was in the back seat of the green car. This is just sensless idiocy regardless of what happened prior to this.
Regeny
#2 "lets literally fuck him up"
Fexler
#3 I wanna see the tiger "enclosure" next... Pleeease
#6 please tell me the snek is controlling the machine with his thoughts.
dogedogegiraffedoge
I really want some answers here
Spudworth
#6 Blessed be the Omnissiah https://youtu.be/3n7eNFj_9Vk
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
Thank u for this.
circlebreaker
#10
Neednoggle
#3 I feel like the hippos probably shouldn't be allowed to get quite that close to escaping.
ruferto
it's ok, they put a guard w/ a strong slap there
Shouldn't be there at all, really.
brokenturtle
#5 they're looking for soldiers, obviously he has nothing to worry about
Looked like a firefight with unidentified/unseen assailant(s)?
BellsTheorem
It isn't unusual to eat while under fire in warfare, but I would have chosen a better spot with a little bit of cover.
MeodwyDoody
Like on Family Guy when Peter dresses as a clown. “You guys are stupid, they’re gonna be lookin for Army guys”.
TheAnswerIsViolence
#3 They hoping Hippos are restricted by video game logic or what is preventing it from hopping that little wall and going on a killing spree
Eldenfrost
The car ones aren't funny. I feel bad for the green car cause of that idiot.
aghori
Green car?
turkeydonkey
There's at least another comment talking about the green car. I see a yellow car. Is this the goddamn dress all over again?
AgainstMethod
This is just the "What color are tennis balls?" thing.
Glormax
#4 Imagine a nefarious stranger breaking into a house and he's stopped by a broom, while a little old lady, "What's wrong with you?" /1
She's a fury with the bristles and she keeps berating him like a naughty schoolchild, "You came in here to hurt me? What's wrong with you?/2
It's when the end of the broom breaks that the stranger makes a real effort to escape the barrage. The quick jabs to his ribs are /3
excruciating, but he can't immediately get out of the tiny window he stupidly decided to go feet first into. As he finally pulls free, /4
all he can see is a shadow of a head surrounded by hair curlers as the newly made spear keeps pushing towards him. "What's wrong with you?/5
Huh? What's wrong with you, idiot? Get out of here!" She keeps screaming into the night as the stranger walks down the street, trying to /6
Imjustheretodrinkandcomment
#3 maybe I'm weird but I don't think a video of a guy slapping a captive animal is very funny
Funny all the people saying ohhh it didn't hurt the hippo. I don't care, I don't like to see animals getting hit.
Dooovde
It's not going to hurt the Hippo, and it's probably better than it escaping .By the looks of the enclosure, this is a daily occurrence.
RobertTheBruise
Right? It looked like it *really* hurt.
Normally I would agree and it’s less funny and more just the insanity that someone would slap a hippo when it could easily crush his skull.
SubZole
Still better to slap it than to potentially have it shot down if it attacks visitors. We don't want another Harambe.
schmonday
Yeah, that's not the issue. The only issue is finding it funny.
BossyQT
But it's not the animal abuse that's funny, it's the juxtaposition of a man who has that big of balls having that little brains.
ThatShiftyMonkey
Honestly, at what point do we call it abuse? I'm pretty sure he could punch it square in the nose and it would barely give a shit.
I didn't call it abuse. I think he did the correct thing, keeping it away from the crowd.
Looks like it found the swats barely annoying. Certainly didn't hurt it.
While generally true, the hippo could also pop his skull like a grape and is clearly able to move at least a bit closer. Not helpless.
AlexSomething
Yes, but the humans should know better. The hippo would just be reacting with its natural instinct of "fuck around and find out".
Feanordidnothingwrong3000
A hippo absolutely does not need a reason. the guy was trying to get it away from the crowd, not hitting it for shits and giggles
Sensiblyinteresting
In America they would have just shot it
Helpless doesn't enter into it. Orcas are the most dangerous animal around, and everyone runs to their aid from sea park abuse.
True but they're also in a tank and cant walk around if that tank gets busted.
That is not the point. The point is an animal being helpless or not is not a factor in determining abuse.
whatsisname
Dangerous to who? Orcas have basically 0 recorded fatal attacks on people in the wild. Hippos kill hundreds annually.
Dangerous to whomever they please.
Choosing not to attack and kill humans does not adjust their murderous efficiency.
Though how else you're supposed to keep a hippo away from the crowd, I don't know. The only issue here is finding it funny.
FreelanceSpermDonor
Not funny but the guy works there and is trying to get the hippo back away from visitors. Maybe he knows what works. Maybe not.
Corrodias
The noteworthy thing about this is that it's incredibly dangerous, and he's lucky to be alive.
ThickTomato
Should have eaten him
CuntCrotchula
#3 that dude is ballsy as fuuuuuck. Or just stupid
CameraMonkey
Did… did he try to bitch slap a hippo?!
derschweiz
It feels like the hippo reacted the way cat owners react to being slapped by their cats, like “hey, you little gremlin, fine I’ll feed you!”
- instead of acknowledging the fact that you’re much bigger and could easily overpower it
LicensedAdHominem
The uniform clearly indicates this is a professional hippopotamus slapper
joshybones
I'm an amateur hippopotamus slapper on OnlyFans
TimeFoDat
Very stupid. Honestly it looks like the hippo retreats despite his slaps, not because of them. All he did was endanger himself needlessly.
Imnotafuckingrobotimgur
Seemed like the follow up slaps only served to antagonise the retreating animal, almost got it annoyed enough to say fuck it and go forward
monkeydwolfwood
Just from other videos I've seen of captive hippos, usually trainers tap their nose before giving them food so it might have confused it
TheDeucer
Pretty sure there is a similar video with a lion, but the lion got his hand. And a couple of degloved finger snacks.
Sjama
Check on google images degloving for more fun
Lward53
I really hope people downvoting your reply are people that searched deglove on google
No.
yzark01
No i dont think i will
Never in a million years could you convince me to slap a hippo
Why does assaulting animals make you laugh?
FlatPlutoSociety
There is not a person alive who's capable of hurting a hippo by slapping it.
I didn't say hurt. I said assault.
tjgg
I'm pretty sure a hippo cannot sue for assault
jwillr86
I honestly thought we were about to see pumpk-head lose his pumpkin.
GWJYonder
Hippo: "How can he slap!?"
JustBeCoolBruh
Security guard afterwards "Hippos kill how many people per year...?!"
darkhalfbreed
"sure other hippos could kill that many people, this one is a bitch"
irrelevant18
How did the hippo not eat his head like a small pumpkin?
No, that's a perfectly adapted enclosure and perfect zookeeping that eliminates all risks and treat the animals humanely. /s
cforeroo
Do you want serious wounds? Because that's how you get serious wounds
cwblackandyellow
What device did he pull out? Maybe a taser or something similar the hippo was raised to fear? Regardless: either stupid, cruel, or both.
It looked like a walky talky, he was talking into it.
HerrHat
I think it's just a radio for help if slapping and BDE don't cut it.
MrShpoople
I'll agree with the stupid. But I don't know about cruel. Better than the hippo getting out and then shot...
Waxilliam
That enclosure is not built to contain that animal. For the safety of all, including the animal, that needs to be fixed promptly.
aurifex
In southern Africa you can visit national parks where hippos and rhinos walk around freely
They love poking their big heads into tents
Eristicrat
I don't think it's an enclosure. I think it's just a berm where a river abuts a park, and this wild hippo just shambled over to mooch or w/e
and what about the sign that looks distinctly like the signs they put in zoos to tell you about the animals?
Ok, yes, shitty zoo then.
Road rage dude and asshole to birds dude were immensely satisfying.
unfortunatelynotdeadyet
The fact the other party was filming the road rage, makes me think they were also not innocent.
Bollramm
Not really, Road rage dude got inocennt third party involved and likely harmed or at least damaged their car!
AlmightyThor117
Yeah, I hope that video found it’s way to police and insurance companies so that asshole looses his license
The impact looked hard enough that his license might already be loose.
DudeThatsRacist
Splitlicker
1/ Happened to me. A drunk old guy got mad at me tried to cut me off & ran into the car ahead. He still had the nerve to come back to my car
2/ and want to fight. I told him he had bigger problems with his wreck & go take care of that first. He stumbled off grumbling.
wagnus
I feel terrible though for the guy in front of road rage dude... Cervical spine issues for life
Sabz5150
Watched the vid a few times. NO brakes (no third light came on), he hit them full on, probably foot hard on the gas.
StephenDaniels
I know I'm not fast enough for #1 but I have to wonder about say Mike Tyson at age 19, particularly against someone like me.
DoctorWhoandDallasCowboys
#3 I hope he gets eaten
Banzai51
The dude slapping the murder horse is living in borrowed time.
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
With a thumbnail of a dude about to be executed, I was very hesitant.
PenguinNamedWobbles
#3 maybe all the hippo wanted was face pets/scrubbies. Not a slap fest.
blahblahblahnobackstory
#1 This person learned some things about themselves, lol
OlemGolem
#3 This zoo sure looks professional...
cre8majic
The Weimaraner is asking 'Who's the alpha dog NOW?? Huh??!?'
kamikazehindenburg
#6 Soon we will discover the true reason God took away their legs.
MrRandom314159
#1 It's a gun. What kind of dumbass puts it right up against them. It's a ranged weapon.
murderhobbit
#3 you-- you need better walls
echonite
#1 No matter how good you think you are, you will not have a good time trying to grab the gun form someone.
SecondSince
#8 Both these idiots deserve to be severely punished. Poor green car got mullered.
red1r
How's the cat gonna get down?
ToonamiT0M
#1
crlamke
Master Ken never gets old. So stupid it's funny.
Toodamagedtocare
#4
StellarJay77
#8 I really hope no one was in the back seat of the green car. This is just sensless idiocy regardless of what happened prior to this.
Regeny
#2 "lets literally fuck him up"
Fexler
#3 I wanna see the tiger "enclosure" next... Pleeease
PenguinNamedWobbles
#6 please tell me the snek is controlling the machine with his thoughts.
dogedogegiraffedoge
I really want some answers here
Spudworth
#6 Blessed be the Omnissiah https://youtu.be/3n7eNFj_9Vk
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
Thank u for this.
circlebreaker
#10
Neednoggle
#3 I feel like the hippos probably shouldn't be allowed to get quite that close to escaping.
ruferto
it's ok, they put a guard w/ a strong slap there
Neednoggle
Shouldn't be there at all, really.
brokenturtle
#5 they're looking for soldiers, obviously he has nothing to worry about
circlebreaker
Looked like a firefight with unidentified/unseen assailant(s)?
BellsTheorem
It isn't unusual to eat while under fire in warfare, but I would have chosen a better spot with a little bit of cover.
MeodwyDoody
Like on Family Guy when Peter dresses as a clown. “You guys are stupid, they’re gonna be lookin for Army guys”.
TheAnswerIsViolence
#3 They hoping Hippos are restricted by video game logic or what is preventing it from hopping that little wall and going on a killing spree
Eldenfrost
The car ones aren't funny. I feel bad for the green car cause of that idiot.
aghori
Green car?
turkeydonkey
There's at least another comment talking about the green car. I see a yellow car. Is this the goddamn dress all over again?
AgainstMethod
This is just the "What color are tennis balls?" thing.
Glormax
#4 Imagine a nefarious stranger breaking into a house and he's stopped by a broom, while a little old lady, "What's wrong with you?" /1
Glormax
She's a fury with the bristles and she keeps berating him like a naughty schoolchild, "You came in here to hurt me? What's wrong with you?/2
Glormax
It's when the end of the broom breaks that the stranger makes a real effort to escape the barrage. The quick jabs to his ribs are /3
Glormax
excruciating, but he can't immediately get out of the tiny window he stupidly decided to go feet first into. As he finally pulls free, /4
Glormax
all he can see is a shadow of a head surrounded by hair curlers as the newly made spear keeps pushing towards him. "What's wrong with you?/5
Glormax
Huh? What's wrong with you, idiot? Get out of here!" She keeps screaming into the night as the stranger walks down the street, trying to /6
Imjustheretodrinkandcomment
#3 maybe I'm weird but I don't think a video of a guy slapping a captive animal is very funny
Imjustheretodrinkandcomment
Funny all the people saying ohhh it didn't hurt the hippo. I don't care, I don't like to see animals getting hit.
Dooovde
It's not going to hurt the Hippo, and it's probably better than it escaping .By the looks of the enclosure, this is a daily occurrence.
RobertTheBruise
Right? It looked like it *really* hurt.
OctaviaMinor
Normally I would agree and it’s less funny and more just the insanity that someone would slap a hippo when it could easily crush his skull.
SubZole
Still better to slap it than to potentially have it shot down if it attacks visitors. We don't want another Harambe.
schmonday
Yeah, that's not the issue. The only issue is finding it funny.
BossyQT
But it's not the animal abuse that's funny, it's the juxtaposition of a man who has that big of balls having that little brains.
ThatShiftyMonkey
Honestly, at what point do we call it abuse? I'm pretty sure he could punch it square in the nose and it would barely give a shit.
schmonday
I didn't call it abuse. I think he did the correct thing, keeping it away from the crowd.
ThatShiftyMonkey
Looks like it found the swats barely annoying. Certainly didn't hurt it.
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
While generally true, the hippo could also pop his skull like a grape and is clearly able to move at least a bit closer. Not helpless.
AlexSomething
Yes, but the humans should know better. The hippo would just be reacting with its natural instinct of "fuck around and find out".
Feanordidnothingwrong3000
A hippo absolutely does not need a reason. the guy was trying to get it away from the crowd, not hitting it for shits and giggles
Sensiblyinteresting
In America they would have just shot it
schmonday
Helpless doesn't enter into it. Orcas are the most dangerous animal around, and everyone runs to their aid from sea park abuse.
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
True but they're also in a tank and cant walk around if that tank gets busted.
schmonday
That is not the point. The point is an animal being helpless or not is not a factor in determining abuse.
whatsisname
Dangerous to who? Orcas have basically 0 recorded fatal attacks on people in the wild. Hippos kill hundreds annually.
schmonday
Dangerous to whomever they please.
schmonday
Choosing not to attack and kill humans does not adjust their murderous efficiency.
schmonday
Though how else you're supposed to keep a hippo away from the crowd, I don't know. The only issue here is finding it funny.
FreelanceSpermDonor
Not funny but the guy works there and is trying to get the hippo back away from visitors. Maybe he knows what works. Maybe not.
Corrodias
The noteworthy thing about this is that it's incredibly dangerous, and he's lucky to be alive.
ThickTomato
Should have eaten him
CuntCrotchula
#3 that dude is ballsy as fuuuuuck. Or just stupid
CameraMonkey
Did… did he try to bitch slap a hippo?!
derschweiz
It feels like the hippo reacted the way cat owners react to being slapped by their cats, like “hey, you little gremlin, fine I’ll feed you!”
derschweiz
- instead of acknowledging the fact that you’re much bigger and could easily overpower it
LicensedAdHominem
The uniform clearly indicates this is a professional hippopotamus slapper
joshybones
I'm an amateur hippopotamus slapper on OnlyFans
TimeFoDat
Very stupid. Honestly it looks like the hippo retreats despite his slaps, not because of them. All he did was endanger himself needlessly.
Imnotafuckingrobotimgur
Seemed like the follow up slaps only served to antagonise the retreating animal, almost got it annoyed enough to say fuck it and go forward
monkeydwolfwood
Just from other videos I've seen of captive hippos, usually trainers tap their nose before giving them food so it might have confused it
TheDeucer
Pretty sure there is a similar video with a lion, but the lion got his hand. And a couple of degloved finger snacks.
Sjama
Check on google images degloving for more fun
Lward53
I really hope people downvoting your reply are people that searched deglove on google
TheDeucer
No.
yzark01
No i dont think i will
OctaviaMinor
Never in a million years could you convince me to slap a hippo
schmonday
Why does assaulting animals make you laugh?
FlatPlutoSociety
There is not a person alive who's capable of hurting a hippo by slapping it.
schmonday
I didn't say hurt. I said assault.
tjgg
I'm pretty sure a hippo cannot sue for assault
jwillr86
I honestly thought we were about to see pumpk-head lose his pumpkin.
GWJYonder
Hippo: "How can he slap!?"
JustBeCoolBruh
Security guard afterwards "Hippos kill how many people per year...?!"
darkhalfbreed
"sure other hippos could kill that many people, this one is a bitch"
irrelevant18
How did the hippo not eat his head like a small pumpkin?
AlexSomething
No, that's a perfectly adapted enclosure and perfect zookeeping that eliminates all risks and treat the animals humanely. /s
cforeroo
Do you want serious wounds? Because that's how you get serious wounds
cwblackandyellow
What device did he pull out? Maybe a taser or something similar the hippo was raised to fear? Regardless: either stupid, cruel, or both.
darkhalfbreed
It looked like a walky talky, he was talking into it.
HerrHat
I think it's just a radio for help if slapping and BDE don't cut it.
MrShpoople
I'll agree with the stupid. But I don't know about cruel. Better than the hippo getting out and then shot...
Waxilliam
That enclosure is not built to contain that animal. For the safety of all, including the animal, that needs to be fixed promptly.
aurifex
In southern Africa you can visit national parks where hippos and rhinos walk around freely
aurifex
They love poking their big heads into tents
Eristicrat
I don't think it's an enclosure. I think it's just a berm where a river abuts a park, and this wild hippo just shambled over to mooch or w/e
Waxilliam
and what about the sign that looks distinctly like the signs they put in zoos to tell you about the animals?
Eristicrat
Ok, yes, shitty zoo then.
turkeydonkey
Road rage dude and asshole to birds dude were immensely satisfying.
unfortunatelynotdeadyet
The fact the other party was filming the road rage, makes me think they were also not innocent.
Bollramm
Not really, Road rage dude got inocennt third party involved and likely harmed or at least damaged their car!
AlmightyThor117
Yeah, I hope that video found it’s way to police and insurance companies so that asshole looses his license
RobertTheBruise
The impact looked hard enough that his license might already be loose.
DudeThatsRacist
Splitlicker
1/ Happened to me. A drunk old guy got mad at me tried to cut me off & ran into the car ahead. He still had the nerve to come back to my car
Splitlicker
2/ and want to fight. I told him he had bigger problems with his wreck & go take care of that first. He stumbled off grumbling.
wagnus
I feel terrible though for the guy in front of road rage dude... Cervical spine issues for life
Sabz5150
Watched the vid a few times. NO brakes (no third light came on), he hit them full on, probably foot hard on the gas.