ParallelParkingInABurka
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You'll want to unmute this one.
Credit: oglaf.com
FlyingGiantElk
#7 alright I need a Bard with the Druid archetype for Speak With Animals and Speak With Plants to make the table uncomfortable.
itsjustplaid
#3 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THEM ALL AT ONCE? https://youtu.be/KEoqv0PAAT8?si=D5bR3e7sdutzGEmh
hufflesnuff
hæmə neggz, sappanin?
tacosforalgernon
#17 Finally found my spirit animal.
astromoondoggie
#14: It’s gotta be so accurate because it’s a TEXTBOOK
ITellBadPuns
//i.imgur.com/5es1OmQ.png Just a weird human is a monster girl. A "real" monster that is female is just a girl monster. An anthropomorphized creature is a furry. In this essay, I will--
TattoosAndTENS
#7 Scooby Doo can talk because CANONICALLY he is a descendant of Cthulhu - so he is an eldrich being, not a real dog.
WellAckchually
#3 Saturn gets to bring its rings but not Jupiter, Uranus or Neptune?
MeanwhileInAmerica
Upvote for Peggy. She runs everything.
Chaimgoldbergenstein
FisheswithDynamite
#3 that's all well and pretty, but how would the different masses of those celestial bodies affect things on this planet. Aside from tides, i imagine if Jupiter was that close, would its gravity affect our very bodies..
Kateness
Okay so it looks like there's at least a couple of planets we could get away with replacing the moon with. Are we getting on that?
Seggs
#6 he monch
Seggs
#13 and he also monch.
potentiallyunsafe
#14 super salad
Ghlargh
Someone said the Minecraft zombies are saying "mirror" in a thick US accent, i can't un-hear it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PzfS50b21g
Babaloga
I feel like this is one of those situations where you'd need to specify the accent.
wybaugh2112
Mercury no longer a planet?
HamSplat
yeah earth too
HaterofWasps
#3 is this right though? I imagined Saturn and Jupiter to be far larger, even at the Moon's distance from Earth ...
ParallelParkingInABurka
That's... actually a good point. I dunno. Let's hope someone comes by & lets us know.
GodOfDownvotes
#7 Now this was an unexpected journey, but a welcomed one.
albester
#11 Well played, sir. Well played.
themik
#11 Took me like 6 times to see wtf. It's like mirror that only reflects your stupid back at you, and I was completely blinded...
ParallelParkingInABurka
I've had that sitting in my folder of shit to post for almost 3 years and I read it wrong every. single. time. I see it. AND I'VE KNOWN WHAT IT SAYS FOR 3 YEARS. No dice.
alpacasaurusrex
#3 I have doubts on the scale as you could put all the planets between the earth & moon & have wiggle room.
Ih8thisSoMuch
#1 Hey now, you're not an idi- wait, you were nine?
Metlahaed
Just sounds like the average American adult to me!
lovingspace
#1 what are you talking about!!! This is adorable.
anSSLerrorhasoccuredandasecureconnectiontotheservercannotbemade
So I learned on here that the reason Scooby can talk is also the same reason he is not a dog, basically. He is related to Cthulhu and therefore, a monster and more fuckable than ever.
SenfinaZeit
Great thanks for this post. Had to read "more fuckable than ever" on a scooby doo post.
ProppaGanda
#2 that would make that cat 24th on the list of the oldest cats on Wikipedia so... Kinda doubt.
Shouldhavethoughtthisthroughabitbetter
I dunno mate, there are probably quite a lot of animals out there that are old as balls, but dont end up on wikipedia or in the Guinness book of records mainly becase people don't share absolutely everything at all times. There was a cat on a street that I lived on years ago, nobody knew how old she was, but my neighbours remember her as an adult cat when they moved in almost 20years before me. She used to just come in and lie in the sunroom until the mid afternoon then move on. Loved that cat.
notblubber
#7 When my GF hisses and gronks at me, it means she DOES want to fuck.
thekeyofe
Well, does she have human (or higher) intelligence, can she talk or otherwise communicate beyond hisses and gronks, and is she of sexual maturity for her species?
SlickWithaLimerick
Not if she's married to someone like us.
MeowWoof
Is it still a Harkness Test failure if your character failed a perception check first?
Corona688
When I found my diary from when I was 9 I wanted to be a comedian some day. I thought dumping sand on my head was the height of comedy.
Nood1e
Tell me more about this sand. I think you're on to something here.
Corona688
the deal is, you have this bucket filled with sand, right? but you don't KNOW it's filled with sand. And when you try and wear it, you get covered with sand and everyone laughs.
Nood1e
Pure gold.
ironymus
It isn't?
Corona688
my comedy career was very short lived.
TheobromineAddict
#7 According to the Harkness Test, you can fuck Goofy but cannot fuck Pluto.
JohnSatclaire
Can != should...no issues with the test.
ParallelParkingInABurka
I mean, that seems entirely reasonable, so I guess the test really does check out.
DrProfessorRocketSurgeon
Last time I checked, Goofy had a kid and Pluto didn't... so -someone- fucked Goofy at some point.
lizardbones
judging by facial structure, goofy and pluto are similar types of dog. this seems to point toward Pluto being a disabled person that Mickey keeps as a pet
acuteavocado7
or he can talk and chooses not to because he has a pet kink
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
Blacktusk
hipifreq
#9 In my 20s, young and poor, my roommate and I would make bread, like LOTS of bread, once a week. A 25 lb bag of flour and bulk yeast is A LOT cheaper than loaves. So we'd churn out like 8-10 loaves, living on fresh bread and frozen veggies. First loaf out the oven was the sacrificial one. We'd tear into it, slather with butter while still steaming hot, and devour it like we were starving animals. So delicious... Excuse me, I've got to go make some bread
nanomaus
Not gonna lie this is the steamiest post I have seen on the internet in ages.
Cruxia13
Made 2 loaves yesterday, can confirm.
euphoricopportunity
I make bread about twice a month. It's taken a year, but that 25lb sack is almost gone. I think I have about 600 grams left.
redsmerf
Note to self: make bread tomorrow
ParallelParkingInABurka
Skawomplious
My wife bakes bread. She's learned to always make one more loaf than she wants to have in the cupboard, because one loaf is getting fucking DEMOLISHED straight out of the oven.
SenfinaZeit
Can't tell if you're hungy or just horny for bread. And no I'm not asking.
hipifreq
HonHomes
It is too late in the day for me to want to make bread, but here you are you bastard, making me want to comit bakery
Grumposstuff
Commit it, I will cover for you.
HonHomes
Oh, no. I know better to deal with hot things when I'm exhausted. Someone always ends up hurt. However, I am better rested right now. How you doin'?
thecollective01
lol I can just imagine you guys having this conversation
hopanio
Any advice for the wannabe breadmakers at home?
zimirken
Use breadmaker for making the dough, but take it out and cook it in the oven.
hipifreq
"Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day". Seriously, check the book out even if you make bread regularly. They're site is great too https://artisanbreadinfive.com/