Cheapo pseudo-gourmet sandwich...

I call it "Uncle Mooey's Cheap-ass Pseudo-gourmet Industrial Roast-Beef Sandy"
Mainly because when you buy a sandwich like this in a restaurant they charge you $20, give them stupid names... and for some reason refer to sandwiches as "Sandies" now, which is super annoying... I can be way more annoying.

The majority of the ingredients are from Aldi which is why it's cheapo and pseudo-gourmet... also fuck the price of groceries these days.

Ingredients: (not including the spider that fell on it right after I took the picture)

-Hawaiian type bun (you could substitute a potato bread roll, but nobody will love you anymore if you do)
-Roast Beef (or similar tasting large roasted animal) 
-Arugula (that's the pretentious part you can brag about)
-Swiss Cheese (or other neutral nation cheese)... (in an emergency, you can use provolone if you have to, but only if you cut holes in it)
-Jarred roasted peppers (from a jar, not violently shaken)...(you can do that if you like though... in fact you can yeet the whole sandwich over the fence at your neighbors if that sounds like fun)
-Sun dried tomato pesto (none of that moon dried crap) 

Instructions:
Are you kidding me?... Do you seriously not know how to make a sandwich?
No. Figure it out on your own.

Anyway...

It's imperative that you don't toast the bun... 
If you toast the bun you risk losing your personality to the industrial-cable tv foodie cults. 
It all starts with toasting your sandwiches and next thing you know you are buying $40 bottles of "Chef Larry's Gourmet Hot Truffle Sauce" and saying shit like "Chiffonade" and before you know it your pets will have run away from home and joined Isis or something like that. 
It's a slippery slope.

In the case of this particular incarnation of sandwichness, all the ingredients except for the grilled peppers came from Aldi. The peppers were actually purchased from DollarTree because I'm that effing cheap.

If this culinary abomination interests you, but you are opposed to shopping at Aldi (I don't blame you), feel free to substitute quality ingredients sourced from hoity-toitier food sellers or source it directly from nature... I've heard raccoon milk cheese can taste a lot like Swiss and roast orangutan comes pretty close to beef, but with slightly hamsterish notes and a noticeable platypus aftertaste.

Anyway, enjoy or don't, I really don't care either way... I was just trying to provide cheap lunch alternatives and say lots of crazy stuff to temporarily distract you from the horrors that persist.

Lastly... I may have eaten that damned spider I mentioned earlier... but that's his problem now.

If I get spider powers I promise to use them for good.

Probably.