Too alienated for this right now. I would be happy just to share w meal with someone and maybe watch some tv together. Physical intimacy? I'd be excited to go for a walk and have a quiet chat together with someone nice. I probably need therapy.
I think this is very true. I (58F) have been married for 25 years to a wonderful "man's man." He is big, brawny, and very much "one of the boys." He is kind, considerate and he cooks and cleans! The best thing about our relationship is the affection! Yep, the sex is fantastic, but that is only a fraction of our time together. We hug and kiss multiple times daily and he *always* wants to hold my hand. We have often been asked by wait staff at a restaurant if it is our first date - so sweet!
Made some new friends in my forties. They were nice, complimented me often, cared about what was happening in my life, told me they loved me. Took a while to get used to even that level of non-toxic affection.
But also funny story: I HATED being touched until I met my current partner. Turns out he did too. Neither of us knew that for the first few months because we loved touching eachother, and the other never said anything, as we were finally were enjoying the touch we received.
Long languages are an amazing way to start bonding, but they will grow and change with your relationship. Have fun exploring them if you have the chance (:
Yes, I grew up in a religious community, and despite other flaws, one thing they were good at was that the men felt safe being vulnerable. They cried, held hands, hugged, and gave each other emotional support.
Tried that with my ex once. Apparently, me being depressed about something was a problem because it distracted from her depression, and she was the only one who could legitimately feel sad. Obviously, it did not end with me being comforted, but rather me being yelled at for taking the attention off of her.
That was not a healthy relationship. Sorry friend.
On occasion my wife does exactly what the comic shows and it is.... Very comforting. Even understanding that I don't have to hold all of it in... 40 years of being taught - not deliberately just through the culture of the world - that a man has to hold it all in and together at all times, to be the rock and support... It's really hard to let go of that
That's because we're not used to receiving that kind of gift, society says we're not supposed to get that kind of gift, and so we are not prepared for it. We don't know how to respond to flowers because we would never expect to receive them. Plus, where would we even put them? Is there space or an available vase?
Whenever I work from home, my desk is in a common area between our living room and kitchen so it is not uncommon for my wife to occasionally pass by me as she's going about her business. Almost every damn time while she's walking by she'll just casually run her hands across my neck or scalp in a pseudo massage like motion. It doesn't matter if I am having a rough day or an easy day, I melt into her touch. It really does help power me through my day.
My wife used to do stuff like this when we were dating and after we got married. By the time we had our first kid though, it had stopped. Especially now with 3 of them (ages 8 and younger), my wife is permanently "Touched out" and physical contact that she doesn't seek out becomes overwhelmingly upsetting for her. I miss the cuddling more than the sex, but the absence of both really has taken a toll. We've talked about it, she knows, she just can't help it and there's little time/desire to do so
Same here. Hopefully you can come together to work on it. We spent five years in couples therapy during which she expressed repeatedly that her feelings were entirely justified, entirely my fault, and nothing that she was going to make an effort towards changing. It ended up messing with my head enough that I attempting suicide. My recovery from which she still refers to as "taking time off". Maybe we started therapy too late. At any rate we divorced and my mental health is much improved.
I'm sorry you went through that, my friend. I've struggled with suicidal ideation since I was a teenager. It had largely gone away until this issue started rearing its head 7ish years ago. My wife is also a therapist, so she should understand these things more so than others. I'm going to try therapy alone before asking for couples therapy, but I really don't want to divorce. Literally, every other aspect of our marriage is great. It's just this one thing, and I feel selfish bc of it.
It's not selfish to want physical intimacy in a relationship full stop. Even if you start with individual therapy I suggest sharing your feelings with her sooner rather than later. Since your wife is also a therapist I'd suspect your experience would be much different than mine.
My friend is fighting with her husband. She wants to put their 3 year old son in gymnastics. Her husband refuses saying his son will turn gay if he does gymnastics . It starts early. Teach your sons it’s okay to show emotion ms besides anger
Offhand tho: Tuck head and roll instincts are something I took from gymnastics and in the past 25 years I certainly would have gotten some traumatic brain injury without them. Being drunk, falls on ice, slippery leaves etc
Assuming you're from the states, does your husband like football? If he does, does he think they are very tough and manly? Cuz a lot of NFL players take ballet/dance lessons. That might be an in to help him see past his views
Dang. I (40m) was in gymnastics in grade 1 and 2, won some ribbons and stuff, it wasn't mega-competitive at that age/time/location, but i thought it was pretty fun. Also played hockey. I'm 0% gay (i mean, sometimes i paint my nails black, and i have long hair, but it suits my patched-up battle vest and beard, at least I think so). But I'm not attracted to dudes at all. Also terrible at gymnastics AND hockey.
My husband is generally okay on the toxic masculinity stuff. The only thing so far was peeing standing up. I just rolled my eyes and said he's being ridiculous. If my son doesn't want to learn how to aim, by all means, please sit down. I hate my bathroom smelling of piss.
The speed (and honestly, safety) of being able to use a urinal in a public bathroom makes learning to aim far less of a "toxic masculinity" thing and far more of a survival skill. (And it will make life on your husband easier when he's chaperoning these expeditions for your child)
What about my life easier when my bathroom smells like piss and I'm the one chaperoning him in bathrooms for women? My kid shat in a urinal at school because he'd never used one to pee in
That's what having a small child is like? I'm not saying the kid needs to stand up every time, but knowing what a urinal is and how to use one is important when they make up more than 50% of the toilets in the men's room.
So the kid being in an activity where he will be (mostly) around girls is "gay", but having them play football (or whatever) where he is only around guys is not. never understood that line of BS.
That's crazy bc having a gymnastics foundation will help you in almost every sport you pursue, especially the "manlier" ones. And 3 year olds just like to tumble around so let them do it in a controlled space.
This. The pure athleticism that is needed to even be remotely good at gymnastics is something that, once learned, carries over into so many other aspects of life - not JUST sports. I was a 3 sport athlete growing up and took gymnastics when I was in jr high. The amount of "full body" use and workout i got hit me hard in the beginning, but translated well into the sports i always played and daily life.
The comments I see to this clip are disappointing. This guy is not some MAGA dork. He is the exact opposite. He openly condemns toxic masculinity and trumpism. But since he has a beard and looks "that way" I think some of you automatically assume he's a right winner feeling sorry for himself. It's the exact opposite. He is doing everything he can to fight toxic masculinity. His channel is great.
I admit the music and the "battling demons you cannot even possibly imagine" thing were turn-offs for me and I closed it at that point. But good he's one of the good guys.
The only thing I don't like about this clip is the whole "struggling with things you couldn't possibly understand." Like it's not a competition. Men don't have a unique patent on being miserable.
When I try to share what I do struggle with, I get told that I should just get over it. Or that it's not REALLY what I'm struggling with. Or that other people have it worse.
So, yeah. People don't understand. They tell me that every time they dismiss me when I open up and make myself vulnerable. People can't possibly understand when they don't actually listen.
Yeah, I watched it after I posted it, as it had been quite some time since I watched it last. I agree that I'd probably cut out the "you couldn't possibly understand." Otherwise, I think it's an important and valid message.
Absolutely agree. But as a woman, I can admit that I DON'T know what problems men face every day.
And since this is directed at men that feel alone and unheard, who either have no one or have partners they don't know how to explain it to -- I do think it's important to acknowledge that the pain of being misunderstood is shared.
Could it be worded better? Sure. But I think most folks feel alone in our struggles and it helps to hear they're not wrong or being dramatic for feeling that way.
It's a really convenient cop-out to avoid doing the hard thing and actually be vulnerable. When we lie to ourselves that "no one understands me" we absolve ourselves of the responsibility to actually try to get better and it becomes the world's fault.
Yeah, that's why I said it's the hard thing to do. We can die waiting for the world to become perfectly understanding and leaning on unhealthy coping mechanisms, or we can do the hard thing. Growth is not going to be painless.
again ignoring that you, yourself, are part of the problem by immediately going into attack mode thus justifying his defensiveness. you cannot demand someone change while not changing yourself. do that growth you seem to advocate so much for.
Definitely. To hell with the sex and stuff. I just want someone to rub my back, rub my head, and spoon with me. The rest is trivial. God I simply miss just being touched.
I agree. To me, non-sexual physical contact like cuddling and the stuff you mentioned is way more important in a relationship than the actual sex. It actually surprised me how many people have told me that that is a very weird opinion for me to have.
It's a 10-year-old username. Actually it's a 20 year old username and I just recycled it for Imgur. It was never meant to be offensive. Only a play on the name. But that was stupid younger me like I said, over 20 years ago. It was actually my Tony Hawk Pro Skater name. That's how old it is. I made a scrub account to check out Imgur and that's my name now. Now Imgur is the only social media site I use. Because we kick out Nazis real quick.
It's hard meeting people sometimes... I know it is for me, not that i have problems speaking to new people it's just i can sense it right away, like nope this ain't gona workout, you know? I guess it's hard meeting the right people....
Well, in my case I'm surrounded by MAGAts and I finally forced myself to go to the town Democrats' meeting and literally everyone else was 65+, so now my routine is work (with MAGAts), home. Dogs to the river walk, nobody even says hi. Home.
That's ruff, atleast i have alot of really good friends to keep me going.. i work in health care so I'm mostly surrounded by good and smart people, and my friends at home are the best, wish i had pets but I'm never home, so that would not be fair to the babies. I can't even imagine how bad things are going to get in the USA, i feel so bad for everyone there... Up here in Quebec Canada we are mostly still like WTF?!
I'm so used to not be cuddled that even when my gf ist scratching my back it just tickles me. I rarely can be touched at all without laughing - even If I want - because everything ist tickling me. But I too felt like I could have cried reading this If I could cry. Thanks to all pll involved to make me a mess like this.
My daughter's wedding party had a cuddle puddle the next day. Literally they just threw all the blankets and pillows in the house into a large closet and like 8 people just hugged and napped on top of each other. It looks so comfortable. Rarely been so envious of other people.
This. I barely cried for years and then had a horrible heartbreak and couldn't stop crying. I thought I'd just broken in a different direction. But my therapist told me how proud she was of me letting myself feel, instead of pushing it down and 'carrying on'
I learned to give myself grace that day. It's the hardest lesson I've faced and I'm still learning how to make a daily part of my life.
We all think differently, grieve differently, love differently. But we are all humans who need support.
Chewbaccacabra
As a guy; yes, please
Hashbrown123
euphoricopportunity
Too alienated for this right now. I would be happy just to share w meal with someone and maybe watch some tv together. Physical intimacy? I'd be excited to go for a walk and have a quiet chat together with someone nice. I probably need therapy.
TestSubject86
Never, maybe when I was a baby. I do have some vague sense that this might have happened then
pilomotor
Florida18
I think this is very true. I (58F) have been married for 25 years to a wonderful "man's man." He is big, brawny, and very much "one of the boys." He is kind, considerate and he cooks and cleans! The best thing about our relationship is the affection! Yep, the sex is fantastic, but that is only a fraction of our time together. We hug and kiss multiple times daily and he *always* wants to hold my hand. We have often been asked by wait staff at a restaurant if it is our first date - so sweet!
jammer909
You both sound very lucky to have each other.
salunatics
I got a compliment last weekend from a female acquaintance and I'm still riding that high.
cosonfused
cyounghmfce
Tis what it tis...
Lampmonster
Made some new friends in my forties. They were nice, complimented me often, cared about what was happening in my life, told me they loved me. Took a while to get used to even that level of non-toxic affection.
RozzySequali
To be honest, I've desired this all my life.
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Find a woman (or man) whose love language is physical touch
kateaanne
Yes!
But also funny story: I HATED being touched until I met my current partner. Turns out he did too. Neither of us knew that for the first few months because we loved touching eachother, and the other never said anything, as we were finally were enjoying the touch we received.
Long languages are an amazing way to start bonding, but they will grow and change with your relationship. Have fun exploring them if you have the chance (:
Flareside
I don't remember how to cry but my wife loves me and takes care of me both in the world and in the head. I wish this to everyone who desires it.
Nismu
putcleverusernamehere
I'm in this picture and I don't like it
RedTailedHawk
YsgramorsSoupSpoon
BORGALOOGIE
I’m happy to know someone is looking out for anxious guys somewhere.
januarylover
& hug your bros. Affection doesn't just have to come from women. Hug your friends, your sons, each other.
SybilCrawley
Yes! Tell your friends you love them! Don't wait until you're holding back tears at someone's funeral to tell them you care.
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Yes, I grew up in a religious community, and despite other flaws, one thing they were good at was that the men felt safe being vulnerable. They cried, held hands, hugged, and gave each other emotional support.
Sulexar
ElChupaNuggra
The absolute healing power of a loving small backpack moment. :P
StupidSexyMrBean
KawaiiInari
I love this.
chaosundivided
jammer909
Tried that with my ex once. Apparently, me being depressed about something was a problem because it distracted from her depression, and she was the only one who could legitimately feel sad. Obviously, it did not end with me being comforted, but rather me being yelled at for taking the attention off of her.
FFBnuuyBoi
Had the exact same thing...just got out of it this week
jammer909
We're not capable of being depressed, apparently. If we don't have a diagnosis to go with it, it's just sparkling sadness.
Lynkfox
That was not a healthy relationship. Sorry friend.
On occasion my wife does exactly what the comic shows and it is.... Very comforting. Even understanding that I don't have to hold all of it in... 40 years of being taught - not deliberately just through the culture of the world - that a man has to hold it all in and together at all times, to be the rock and support... It's really hard to let go of that
reichstein
nightripper
I, too, envy cats.
chaosundivided
I haven't been held in any capacity since before the presidency of barack obama.
chaosundivided
CanadianLadyMoose
I love doting on my boyfriend this way. He is such a sweetheart, I couldn’t stop if I tried.
SoshiGenkaku
Just makes me think of that saying the first time men will receive flowers is at their funeral.
textilelover
I have 100% given my husband flowers. More than once. He appreciates the gesture but I don't think it means as much to him as it does to most women.
jammer909
That's because we're not used to receiving that kind of gift, society says we're not supposed to get that kind of gift, and so we are not prepared for it. We don't know how to respond to flowers because we would never expect to receive them. Plus, where would we even put them? Is there space or an available vase?
supervillin
plainoldfool
Whenever I work from home, my desk is in a common area between our living room and kitchen so it is not uncommon for my wife to occasionally pass by me as she's going about her business. Almost every damn time while she's walking by she'll just casually run her hands across my neck or scalp in a pseudo massage like motion. It doesn't matter if I am having a rough day or an easy day, I melt into her touch. It really does help power me through my day.
ThisGuyHere
My wife used to do stuff like this when we were dating and after we got married. By the time we had our first kid though, it had stopped. Especially now with 3 of them (ages 8 and younger), my wife is permanently "Touched out" and physical contact that she doesn't seek out becomes overwhelmingly upsetting for her. I miss the cuddling more than the sex, but the absence of both really has taken a toll. We've talked about it, she knows, she just can't help it and there's little time/desire to do so
DataBeardFace
Same here. Hopefully you can come together to work on it. We spent five years in couples therapy during which she expressed repeatedly that her feelings were entirely justified, entirely my fault, and nothing that she was going to make an effort towards changing. It ended up messing with my head enough that I attempting suicide. My recovery from which she still refers to as "taking time off". Maybe we started therapy too late. At any rate we divorced and my mental health is much improved.
ThisGuyHere
I'm sorry you went through that, my friend. I've struggled with suicidal ideation since I was a teenager. It had largely gone away until this issue started rearing its head 7ish years ago. My wife is also a therapist, so she should understand these things more so than others. I'm going to try therapy alone before asking for couples therapy, but I really don't want to divorce. Literally, every other aspect of our marriage is great. It's just this one thing, and I feel selfish bc of it.
DataBeardFace
It's not selfish to want physical intimacy in a relationship full stop. Even if you start with individual therapy I suggest sharing your feelings with her sooner rather than later. Since your wife is also a therapist I'd suspect your experience would be much different than mine.
BarderBetterFasterStronger
All I could think reading that was, fuck I hope they didn't stay together. Life's too short to live in that shit every day. Glad you made a change.
VinewerLacewing
this. I have a strong need for physical intimacy as a male.
xurs
I think most males actually do, it's just not _MANLY_ to show it.
MrsBlancheDevereaux
My friend is fighting with her husband. She wants to put their 3 year old son in gymnastics. Her husband refuses saying his son will turn gay if he does gymnastics . It starts early. Teach your sons it’s okay to show emotion ms besides anger
astrangehop
Offhand tho: Tuck head and roll instincts are something I took from gymnastics and in the past 25 years I certainly would have gotten some traumatic brain injury without them. Being drunk, falls on ice, slippery leaves etc
DarkBusterBaron
Insecure moron.
CBadger
Gymnastics will destroy that kid's joints, but that's about it.
ShareACokeWithLeroyJenkins
Assuming you're from the states, does your husband like football? If he does, does he think they are very tough and manly? Cuz a lot of NFL players take ballet/dance lessons. That might be an in to help him see past his views
Lance4lot
Someone who is able to mix gay and 3 year old boys together in their mind already has some serious issues themselves...
billstranger
Dang. I (40m) was in gymnastics in grade 1 and 2, won some ribbons and stuff, it wasn't mega-competitive at that age/time/location, but i thought it was pretty fun. Also played hockey. I'm 0% gay (i mean, sometimes i paint my nails black, and i have long hair, but it suits my patched-up battle vest and beard, at least I think so). But I'm not attracted to dudes at all. Also terrible at gymnastics AND hockey.
Littledirtybirdyfeet
My husband is generally okay on the toxic masculinity stuff. The only thing so far was peeing standing up. I just rolled my eyes and said he's being ridiculous. If my son doesn't want to learn how to aim, by all means, please sit down. I hate my bathroom smelling of piss.
davisboy42
The speed (and honestly, safety) of being able to use a urinal in a public bathroom makes learning to aim far less of a "toxic masculinity" thing and far more of a survival skill. (And it will make life on your husband easier when he's chaperoning these expeditions for your child)
Littledirtybirdyfeet
What about my life easier when my bathroom smells like piss and I'm the one chaperoning him in bathrooms for women? My kid shat in a urinal at school because he'd never used one to pee in
davisboy42
That's what having a small child is like? I'm not saying the kid needs to stand up every time, but knowing what a urinal is and how to use one is important when they make up more than 50% of the toilets in the men's room.
Littledirtybirdyfeet
I can't go in mens bathrooms....
Wolfshead009
So the kid being in an activity where he will be (mostly) around girls is "gay", but having them play football (or whatever) where he is only around guys is not. never understood that line of BS.
SybilCrawley
That's crazy bc having a gymnastics foundation will help you in almost every sport you pursue, especially the "manlier" ones. And 3 year olds just like to tumble around so let them do it in a controlled space.
kilgoth1
This. The pure athleticism that is needed to even be remotely good at gymnastics is something that, once learned, carries over into so many other aspects of life - not JUST sports. I was a 3 sport athlete growing up and took gymnastics when I was in jr high. The amount of "full body" use and workout i got hit me hard in the beginning, but translated well into the sports i always played and daily life.
TheArrestingAbhorrentArrantAbominableAlliterator
Gymnastics will turn the son gay??? Well, someone in that family is doing gymnastics. Mental gymnastics.
MrsBlancheDevereaux
Me and her don’t understand it either
ontarioOT
Goronhead
I can hardly even muster up an "I'm alright" anymore. I'm so far past alright I just kind of grunt at the question half the time.
HeywouldJablowme
The comments I see to this clip are disappointing. This guy is not some MAGA dork. He is the exact opposite. He openly condemns toxic masculinity and trumpism. But since he has a beard and looks "that way" I think some of you automatically assume he's a right winner feeling sorry for himself. It's the exact opposite. He is doing everything he can to fight toxic masculinity. His channel is great.
xurs
I admit the music and the "battling demons you cannot even possibly imagine" thing were turn-offs for me and I closed it at that point. But good he's one of the good guys.
HeywouldJablowme
He really is. I'll hop on YouTube and find his actual username so you can enjoy his videos. He's a good dude
Midgarmerc
The only thing I don't like about this clip is the whole "struggling with things you couldn't possibly understand." Like it's not a competition. Men don't have a unique patent on being miserable.
qyrriqat
When I try to share what I do struggle with, I get told that I should just get over it. Or that it's not REALLY what I'm struggling with. Or that other people have it worse.
So, yeah. People don't understand. They tell me that every time they dismiss me when I open up and make myself vulnerable. People can't possibly understand when they don't actually listen.
ontarioOT
Yeah, I watched it after I posted it, as it had been quite some time since I watched it last. I agree that I'd probably cut out the "you couldn't possibly understand." Otherwise, I think it's an important and valid message.
kateaanne
Absolutely agree. But as a woman, I can admit that I DON'T know what problems men face every day.
And since this is directed at men that feel alone and unheard, who either have no one or have partners they don't know how to explain it to -- I do think it's important to acknowledge that the pain of being misunderstood is shared.
Could it be worded better? Sure. But I think most folks feel alone in our struggles and it helps to hear they're not wrong or being dramatic for feeling that way.
Kitehammer
It's a really convenient cop-out to avoid doing the hard thing and actually be vulnerable. When we lie to ourselves that "no one understands me" we absolve ourselves of the responsibility to actually try to get better and it becomes the world's fault.
Bhargo
or when men are vulnerable people attack them for it so its a learned defensive trait, fuck you are doing it right now
Kitehammer
Yeah, that's why I said it's the hard thing to do. We can die waiting for the world to become perfectly understanding and leaning on unhealthy coping mechanisms, or we can do the hard thing. Growth is not going to be painless.
Bhargo
again ignoring that you, yourself, are part of the problem by immediately going into attack mode thus justifying his defensiveness. you cannot demand someone change while not changing yourself. do that growth you seem to advocate so much for.
DeadeicPrints
I think the thing i miss most about having an SO is just cuddling.
LeSethX
Same, cuddling with pets isn't as good as a partner
HeywouldJablowme
Definitely. To hell with the sex and stuff. I just want someone to rub my back, rub my head, and spoon with me. The rest is trivial. God I simply miss just being touched.
Bestiarium
I agree. To me, non-sexual physical contact like cuddling and the stuff you mentioned is way more important in a relationship than the actual sex. It actually surprised me how many people have told me that that is a very weird opinion for me to have.
Mandarinduckmama
Eavesdropping here, but, if this is true, then you might rethink your username.
HeywouldJablowme
It's a 10-year-old username. Actually it's a 20 year old username and I just recycled it for Imgur. It was never meant to be offensive. Only a play on the name. But that was stupid younger me like I said, over 20 years ago. It was actually my Tony Hawk Pro Skater name. That's how old it is. I made a scrub account to check out Imgur and that's my name now. Now Imgur is the only social media site I use. Because we kick out Nazis real quick.
Mandarinduckmama
It’s cute, but it’s less effective as an opening line as one might think. ;)
HeywouldJablowme
Well I can't change my stupid name dude
KenKay
I started crying just reading this... I'm so broken lol
Nalianna
Unfortunately, no. You're normal
KenKay
I see what "Normal" is now... I want no part of it lol.
What normal is to the spider is chaos to the fly. Morticia Adams
Hemelsblauw
Booktastic
That lol conveyed a sermon! I know it is not much, but here's a tight hug. May the Universe bring you whatever you need the most in life.
KenKay
Thank man :) thats really sweet of you <3
MizuNoMark
That "lol" is doing some HEAVY lifting, I hope you feel the physical love you need friend
KenKay
Thanks my dude
MadamPuddifoot
Lol eyyy same, big dawg! Except I'm a lady. Still, no touchies for 4+ years? ☹️
KenKay
It's hard meeting people sometimes... I know it is for me, not that i have problems speaking to new people it's just i can sense it right away, like nope this ain't gona workout, you know? I guess it's hard meeting the right people....
MadamPuddifoot
Well, in my case I'm surrounded by MAGAts and I finally forced myself to go to the town Democrats' meeting and literally everyone else was 65+, so now my routine is work (with MAGAts), home. Dogs to the river walk, nobody even says hi. Home.
So yeah. Life is pretty terrible.
KenKay
That's ruff, atleast i have alot of really good friends to keep me going.. i work in health care so I'm mostly surrounded by good and smart people, and my friends at home are the best, wish i had pets but I'm never home, so that would not be fair to the babies. I can't even imagine how bad things are going to get in the USA, i feel so bad for everyone there... Up here in Quebec Canada we are mostly still like WTF?!
Pokedthebear
I'm so used to not be cuddled that even when my gf ist scratching my back it just tickles me. I rarely can be touched at all without laughing - even If I want - because everything ist tickling me. But I too felt like I could have cried reading this If I could cry. Thanks to all pll involved to make me a mess like this.
CMaxwellEsq
Damaged, not broken. Damage heals. Broken does too, but it's a lot harder.
KenKay
Trust me broken.. but i am working on it, and thanks :)
theauthor
Look into "cuddle parties" or similar events. There might be something like that in your part of the world, and these events help.
FlyingButtPliers
My daughter's wedding party had a cuddle puddle the next day. Literally they just threw all the blankets and pillows in the house into a large closet and like 8 people just hugged and napped on top of each other. It looks so comfortable. Rarely been so envious of other people.
KenKay
Not my thing but thanks for tye suggestions
theauthor
They weren't my thing either back in the day, but now I enjoy spending time with people.
KenKay
Maybe i should give it a try... What do i have too loose rught?
xurs
Sorry to hear that. This mightn't be consoling per se, but at least you're not too broken to be able to cry. Crying helps with healing.
puromento
Amen to that. There was a solid year or two where regardless of how badly I wanted to cry, I couldn't. I still have a lot of healing to do.
kateaanne
This. I barely cried for years and then had a horrible heartbreak and couldn't stop crying. I thought I'd just broken in a different direction. But my therapist told me how proud she was of me letting myself feel, instead of pushing it down and 'carrying on'
I learned to give myself grace that day. It's the hardest lesson I've faced and I'm still learning how to make a daily part of my life.
We all think differently, grieve differently, love differently. But we are all humans who need support.
KenKay
Thanks OP thats sweet of you :)
HaroldTheCleverSheep
You’re not broken. You’re human.
KenKay
Thanks bud :) makes me feel a bit better
HaroldTheCleverSheep
Real men are able to cry. Anyone who says otherwise is a coward,a liar, and a pansy.
whatspaulplayingtoday
Just a person who doesn't understand how to feel yet.
HaroldTheCleverSheep
I was perhaps a bit too harsh. Maybe to into my feels.