Mar 4, 2023 1:41 AM
thevortexmaster
1065773
2248
56
funny
wizards
wysisntwyg
That old chestnut
Applecrack
Tried Tinder. Thought I got nothing cause I was boring. Found out its a bunch of snapchat and instagram bots.
bojeefus
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
OnomatopoeicOnanisma
"BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up." Classic bash 104383
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
I'm guessing it's the difference between just looking for someone to fuck and looking for someone to have a relationship with. If it's /1
just for sex, you can overlook a lot more. /2
Eli93
I've seen how easily that witch stuff leads to science denial. I dislike it just as much as any religion. Isn't this beautiful world enough?
SifeAndThor
Gerald is hot! I would date him!
TomatoPepper
Geralt is not a wizard, he is a witcher
Thx! But what is the difference? And Gandalf is a Witcher or wizard???
Gandalf is from another universe, and is a wizard. In the books, a Witcher has some access to the magic elements, but in a limited way
A wizard has big studies and natural skill for magic, so they can make complex witchcrafts. A Witcher have only elemental study and just
Limited access to the source of power. Geralt could be a wizard because he was "special" but never wanted
KetchupCatsup
That’s so wizard. Wish we could bring that back.
khopesh87
Eh, I mostly take it as a sign that she knows how to season her cooking and is down for uniquely fun naked time. But its anecdotal.
Blud4BludGod
The wiccan girl I dated (for 4 years!) was incredibly immature, emotionally distant, and cheated on me a ton. Full blown "sorry I fucked...
...my coworker, Mercury is in gatorade right now what do you expect" kind of shit. I'm sure there's nice ones out there but it's as much...
...a deal breaker for me now as any other kind of religious mumbo jumbo.
HamburgerWelper
Same except instead of the cooking it's alcoholism and/or a coke habit.
TychoTychoAlba
I find that crystals in particular are often a substitute for addiction.
Hmm, I take that as she knows how to make excellent potions and also has a great hookup for faerie powder.
inevermadeone
DeadeicPrints
Just my personal experience, but 100% true lol.
AnarchySong
Recently had a friend who had a girl crying while she dumped him because she found out he was born in July and she can't be with a cancer...
blueyedwineaux
I’m a nerd woman but, the guy who lost his cool at not being able to move the bread plate w his mind as a “Jedi” was a massive YIKES
RedAppleSoda
v
IupvoteAussies
Wouldn't make my top 20 of worst dates lol though it'd rank high among the weird ones
jursamaj
See, nerdy is different from what the comedian was talking about. I'm a nerdy guy, but I don't *believe in* Star Wars, etc.
Snooj
Did he clarify that it always works at home?
The bricks in the building and too many people “blocked” the force. I could say so much more.
lilmookieesquire
KiwiGameDev
That’s um… yeah wow
agapan
You know, I knew a guy who claimed to claimed to be Wiccan when we were like 18. He was decidedly not the least fuckable boy in that group.
dmjalund
You don't' say you're a wizard, you say you're a thaumatologist
SirJimmothy
"I'm a Grand WIzard... check out my hat"
truespartangaming
Remember kids, Horoscopes are just birthday prejudices. It's not real.
goflyblind
HeyOP
What was this show again? I remember it being fun. Something about Satan's daughter maybe? Or maybe I'm conflating another cartoon.
no, that's right. ugly americans - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1621748/
Right! Thank you.
GravyEducation
Also source of this gif
Nice.
Skizmo
wickid
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
really, no one is gonna comment on the "GANDOFF" subtitle? hmm? no, just me? ok then
RooGryphon
You ever get a girl that has that conceited I'm better then you voice... back off red flag she is a bitch
Laylah77
Also, tough finding a good Wizard these days.
WeAreOctopi
Just say you’re a Wiccan
Therealstevenf
You're a wiccan
FightOligarchy
I’m a Wiccan’t
ifteguy2
You're a Wiccan
khora
Yes, Wiccan.
donorkort
One-up them - I'm the wiccanest.
Klaaism
Everyone says that until they wake up in a circle of candles, and she's asking for some blood.
Heffe3737
Then you put on some sisters of mercy and give that poor girl some blood! You don’t need it all, anyway!
PleasantPeasantPheasant
Lol, No, Wiccan means connecting with nature though, magic crystals, incense, linen clothing, shrooms, weed, and being naked outdoors.
homoerection
I like all of those things. Guess I’m a witch now ??♂️
MightyMile
Yer a witch Harry.
WorstPostEver
Just to be clear... Whose?
I'm a wiccan
ThatOtherMacAvoyWoman
Like Gandalf and shit?
inkasep1
I'm a wiccan.
NotAgainDammit
If I could practice necromancy I would. Consequences Be dammed! Give me an army of the dead!
xizar
Just gotta whisper those three magic words... Klatuu Verada... and that third one.
NECKTIE!!!
DougTheLlama
Now just say ooogidy boogidy!
Spootanany
Aw yes they call him the streak!
Ooogidy boogity!
TheLastBootyBender
Now tell us where the treasure is hidden.
Up my butt
Thorinori
Now say your credit card number with those 3 digits on the back!
Your credit card number with those 3 digits on the back!
l33thack0r
I'm okay with women I date being witchy. I just don't care for when they try to sacrifice me to further their magical abilities.
flamingflamingo
Well I mean, in real life being a wizard means you’re a high ranking KKK member, so…
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
Just because their racist D&D got out of hand and they lost grip on reality doesn't make all wizards part of the KKK
TattoosAndTENS
Ngl if a dude told me he was a wizard on a date he would definitely get it. I mean, what are the rest of y'all doing anyway? Boring af
[deleted]
TotallyNotSarcastic
Sleight…
But what if I'm just an apprentice?
A quiet life keeps the voices down
farfie
You could very well meet a wizard on a date if you live in New Zealand. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wizard_of_New_Zealand
HiHowAreYou92
What annoys me is the pandering. You wanna believe that go ahead, but when I point out the flaws and falacies don't get mad.
FiftyShadesOfTiramisu
What a great opportunity to comment on religion in general.Like how this is a million times saner than thinking you can talk to the creator…
of the universe who has taken a special interest in you and wants you to live in his magical sky spa one day. But nope, let's just bash ...
the minority religion so the christians in the audience can have a giggle. Why punch up when you can punch down
I think you're taking a silly joke a tad too seriously friend
No, I punch all around. People can be what they want to be but choosing a partner is different, believing in magic is a red flag for me
My point is precisely that he doesn't punch all around. That's ok when you're dealing with an individual who has a specific ridiculous …
belief, but he's a comedian on a stage talking to a large audience. The individual he's talking about is completely made up. He could ...
RummageSaleBubbler
@BotDrawA Gandalf, and a witch, on a date
BotDrawA
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your (experimental extra) drawing of a "Cover for the book, "Gandalf, and a wi
SeeShark
Aww, it's learning to spell! (I jest, but all things considered AI is learning to spell faster than most children.)
This one is surprisingly good and kinda wholesome
Hahah awesome
Iwannabecalledspaghetti
It's a good bot
They're all good bots.
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your drawing of a "Gandalf, and a witch, on a date"
I'm honestly feeling top left half-pilgrim half-Jedi Gandalf's fit, that shit is fly.
Right tho!
I was really hoping one or more would be them on the fruit
@BotDrawA Gandalf casting spell, causing a date (fruit) to explode into red shrapnel and magical silver smoke. {Closeup of exploding date.,}
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your (experimental extra) drawing of a "Gandalf casting spell, causing a date
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your drawing of a "Gandalf casting spell, causing a date (fruit) to explode in
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your (experimental extra) drawing of a "Water colour of Gandalf casting spell,
@TotallyNotSarcastic: Sorry, Gandalf has exploded this date. He got "Mellon" zoned. -- https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Mellon
Jheklstuff
You know, I don't miss dating. There are some real weirdos out there.
DaveSamsonite
I’m sure your partner is just the right amount of weird
egoistheenemy
you're not missing much. It hurts to be ghosted
Oh, I experienced that before I met my SO. Two months and they dropped off the face of the earth. Feels bad.
CitizenPrime
We're probably one of them
DireSickFish
I'm a wizard.
hiddenequality
Right?! Who would end a date with a wizard? Strange people out there....
fastjeff
Hey, I told you that if you wore the front of the walrus costume, it would've been a lot less weird, but you didn't even give me a chance!
gtollie
You just haven’t met the right wizard yet …
And never will, I'm soon to be married thankfully!
Congratulations!
Thats what she said
I guess I'm she.
kevlarburrito
Hi she, I'm Kevlarburrito, a wizard
wheeeeeeeeeeee
Hypnoticcow
I did a few long terms. Here and there but mid 20s went for the casual dating, I was back on my game looking for the right one real quick
BoltActionGearbox
Right? And it' so hard to find a matching weirdo
KuroFluff
Yeah how do you skip that part and go directly to lifelong bond? Asking for a friend
AirplaneNerd
We're all weirdos. The trick is finding the *right kind* of weirdo.
lordfwahfnah
I remember there being a dating site for imgurians. Don't know what happened to that though
abacab87
There's one less with you out of the scene.
And I'll drink to that .
It's me. I'm the real weirdo out there. Sup y'all.
heartlessninja6
Just keeping it real. Real weird.
Mickp81
+1 for being a weirdo.
WeAreNotSmilesTImes
AdelesEx
Sup ? I'm a wizard
Is that like an indoor thing?
thegirlwiththechickenbutttattoo
*weirdo high five*
StopTheWorldIWannaGetOff
Is that the one where only the pinky and ring-fingers actually hit?
Hell yeah!
dan144
Call me?
RhymingEverything
fellow weirdo chcking in
SquigglyBeast
Same
serleth
Sup
I haven't been with anyone for 10 years now, some times I miss it, but by all the gods old and new I do not miss drama.
Heavenissize17socks
"I hate you I hate you I hate you!! Call me!! "
RideTheStimutacs
I still like meeting new people, but I don't try anymore. I just make friends now, and once in a while one of them is aggressively into me.
Someone once asked me why we never dated; I said "because you had to ask me that question". If you're not blunt, I'm not interested.
I’m of the exact same mindset, meeting new people is nice. Unfortunately, a lot of people take nicety to mean flirtation, and assume the wrong intention. I just want someone to eat snacks with my tiny dog and I
Well that sounds fun! But yeah, I try to make my intentions clear early. Then if they still have the wrong idea, that's on them.
pugcashingout
Do you miss excitement in bed though? (Don’t mean to be rude)
I'm pretty happy with my SO
FuckThemIfTheyCantTakeAJoke
One less since OP stopped
CeoHuntingSeason
Not like you, you are totally normal and perfectly between the expectations of any attractive partner.
Never claimed to be. I will say though that I don't believe myself to have magical powers.
A lot of practicing witches don't believe that either. There are a lot of misconceptions about it.
ThaWhiteRanger
Have you ever tried though? You might have dormant powers you've never actualized.
That's what a undercover witch would say
Leajjes
"Cuckskull" has a valid point.
AHopelesslyRomanticBOOB
It's the worst. But I dont like being lonely, so I persevere
InspiringBadger
I very often find myself having this same thought. If my husband dies, I'm staying single because dating sounds hard...
Junktrunkjunkie
I'm not even married and dating sounds hard. My friends try to talk me into it now and then but, I just don't feel any motivation for it.
Dude, same. I went on a couple of dates with women who were unironically like the ones he described and it's weird. (1/2)
I'm a wiccan! No, Sharron you're 29 and you work at DQ. I understand wanting to be special but it's a bit ridiculous. (2/2).
pixelsnader
Weirdos, wiccans and wizards.
JEMbalaya
My most recent online match ended things because she "doesn't appreciate a nice ass on guys"
Hope you have someone who appreciates your nice ass as much as my SO does.
I hope I find that someday too
PoopyProblem5
Some of them weirdos are the best kind of weirdos. Though to be fair most of them dont go on dates unfortunately
bunnyishungry
I met a guy. He insisted I learn his love language: 1) verbal 2) giving gifts 3) sex 4) sex 5) sex. 3,4, and 5 were basically /1
"physical touch related". And He picked 3,4 and 5 and told me that's his preferred way, and told me to pick 3 out of 5 as my love language
I was like >_> ya don't say buddy, ya don't say
Yeah, that's fucked lol Sorry you had to deal with that. Setting boundaries is fine but I'd walk out too if my SO told me how to love them.
aslowgiantfart
It is weird for a first date but in a committed partnership an SO should be able to let you know what makes them feel loved
I just met the guy, like that was our first long conversation O_< *twitch*twitch*
It's tough finding a girl these days that isn't into astrology, crystals, dreamcatchers or some other witchy shit.
Jamesstin
Its a test to weed out absurd dudes. If you can handle someone's interest then you arebt likely to beat them.
AsABiologistWhoIsNotFunAtParties
Let me get this straight, if a guy finds your belief in magic to be silly, HE is absurd? And more likely to beat you? Did you reach that>
>conclusion with a crystal ball or tarot cards?
The issue is that people like you cant even hear the mention of this topic without reacting as if theyre talking about devout belief AND
As if theyre personally responsible for the Inquisition by mere mention of some lighthearted interest. Yall seem unhinged, basically.
Honestly, I equate the validity of astrology to christianity. Shits made up, yo. A label is a label. All hail logic.
TallDarkndHandsy
I dunno, like yes it's entirely made up but I find it fun to pretend sometimes with astrology
That can get just as dangerous as religion. I knew someone that refused to talk/associate with certain signs. Lol shit is goofy.
"witchy" shit
wildsageHMC
All of those girls into astrology and crystals and witchy shit should slide into my DMs
Why, so you can get laid before they figure out you think they're crazy?
Uh… no, it’s because I’m a girl that’s also into witchy shit. Tf is wrong with you
Sorry, didn't realize you were one of the crazies…
Sure, that’s me. Please find yourself as unattracted to me as possible and go all the way away.
Rabidbacon
They lose their shit when you tell them astrology is space racism.
DVSBSTrD
Dreamcatchers are nice. Fun to make.
As artwork, sure. As "real", absolutely not.
DianNaoChong
That's called pseudoscience and I hate how it's infiltrated our society
Like Christianity and other religions are more fun. Not.
MadamPuddifoot
*waves singlely*
williamshakesbeer
Dude I legit went on a date and found out she protects her virginity because she is a Virgo. Like I respect her choice, but wtf man.
It was a fun date and It didn't really go anywhere. I really hope she was fucking with me
OmniXBro
Just consider the hot-crazy scale.
notsol337
I married a witch. They're into all sorts of fun things.
tooomanystevesgotbanned
Have you tried dating women instead of girls?
theovermynd
Its a cool aesthetic and theyre usually great in bed. Got a witchy goth GF right now, can recommend.
TheTrashCanMan
It's tough finding a woman
esleone
It's called minerals ...
MostFurociousMeow
Respectfully disagree
*who
let the dogs out
matshelge
When the world is complex and confusing, this is a common occurrence.
AnxiaTeaDD
I’m a girl who likes crystals but I’m just really into cool rocks and shit. I don’t believe they dont have magical properties.
gakio12
Idk, etching silicone in a specific way so you can apply electricity and do math is pretty magical.
silicon’’ It might be a bit less magical with silicone.
ImAnActionBirb
Sounds like a wonderful selection!
BiologicallyHazardousMaterial
hello! poly & trans though so expect me to be SUPER funny.
Ihaventconsumedenoughwineforthis
I like to think my ability to keep plants alive and raise animals from birth successfully is witchcraft.
i immediately get farm vibes from you
Lucid dreams feel witchy too. I think that's just insomnia though
FlatPlutoSociety
It is, and I definitely think that shit is dumb, but I'm also really into baseball, so I can't fault someone for stupid, harmless hobbies.
Astrology is not harmless when people make decisions based on it.
HieronymousFlex
It's no more dumb than any other religious belief. Same shit, different hats.
B99Reactions
That makes absolutely no sense
AlxEverett
Interesting. See, it takes all types to make this crazy world. For example, I think that shit is awesome and baseball is dumb.
spookyactionatadistance
I think astrology and crystals is in fact harmful. Like any new age nonsense it promotes non scientific thinking and leads to what happened
Whelp. You can think what you want. People can like what they want. I think you’re wrong. It’s not the problem. Fox News doesn’t peddle this
It's not what i think. Its actual facts. Astrology is not real. And crystal moms are against the vaccine. Astrology and new age is the
dauculli
Thank you!
Fine example of Berkson's paradox. Good looking, normal, folks are not single. What's left is either really nice less attractive, or (1/2)
a bit weird and more attractive. More info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berkson%27s_paradox (2/2)
thundercactus
My self esteem is not helped by the existence of a scientific study that implies I'm more likely than not to be either unattractive or weird
I'm sorry fucking weird AND not very attractive, so GOOD. ?
Unsure if it helps, but those are not an XOR.
Warvillage
I'm both weird and less attractive, so maybe I'm balancing you out!
demoncatmara
Weird can be super attractive tho
Absolutely. I was attempting to be less offensive, and sneak in a statistics lesson under folks' radar.
Kittynomnoms
If it helps, the entire thing REEKS of incel "ohhh I'm so desirable and redpilled" shit. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
astrangehop
Maybe you just smell or something.
awkwardbeautiful
Raises hand
Atlasguitar
"Ooh ooh pick me!"
LrrrRulerofThePlanetOmicronPerseiVIII
How you doin’?
Meh, not to bad today. Glad it’s Friday.
RAJrios
No, no. How _you_ doin'?
IWasACatAllAlong
Throw 200 pairs of panties at you. You die from getting smothered.
You live up to your user name.
Thank you?
BleedingQuasar
*gives an overly excited high five* ...wait, did I fuck up recognizing social cues again?
Sayagain
Witch!!! Burn her!!!
You found that I weigh as much as a duck didn’t you?
You won’t after we strap the concrete shoes on! Witch!
sixseasonsandamov1e
Also raises hand, I'm into science and math baby
Did math reproduce to create math baby? Would that be computer science?
Is that like a boss baby? Im not into babies being smart or financially aware.
I’m into travel, artsy stuff, and memes.
probablywrenching
Hi :) Let's travel to an art exhibit of memes.
Righteousdew
Math baby.
A witch!!!
CatBeagler
Thats not a witch! Thats your wife!
RunanD
Conversely, I've heard a lot of girls say that it's great to pretend you're into that shit to weed out edgy guys who can't respect harmless
68people
I'd just want to be with someone sensible who doesn't think they're a witch, and can chat honestly. So, win win I guess.
JuliusPepperwoodFromChicago
Knitting sweaters for your cat is harmless. Not being smart enough to dismiss bullshit can snowball into all kinds of other problems.
See, that's a bad strategy. What they're *really* selecting for is guys willing to put up with such stuff long enough to have sex.
aqueueforyou
Exactly, they think they're winning but really they're playing themselves. Beauty privilege can Really blind and F everyone over.
Red flag, specially since believing all that is corelated to lower intelligence and many men want their kids to be as smart/smarter than tem
GoblinShaper
I downvoted you just for that username.
Correlated to lower intelligence
I don’t normally correct spelling out of respect to those who know it as a second, third, or fourth language, but if you’re knocking someone
/2 for a lack of intelligence, at least spell check your shit dude
Hey look everyone, it worked! Someone who thinks women are broodmares to be bred for male heirs has been spooked away!
InTangier
Yikes.
RunanD muted me, ha! coward, perhaps statistics as a field is just too chauvinist in their eyes
acatinbirdsclothing
Do you want to know why this survey is a biased dumpster fire, undeserving of any credit? It was done on Facebook.
...you truly believe that astrology is not correlated with low intelligence? How do you feel about alien abductions? Or sasquatch spotters?
Queue "math doesn't lie" number washing comment.
Sauce
IQ is as scientific as astrology, just more problematic.
“Cuck”, “sauce”, weird fixation on traditional gender roles & pseudoscience about mating & breeding. 4chan is unhealthy man go outside.
TheFrostyOak
Then why are there so many Christian "trophy wives?" The belief in witchcraft is no worse than the belief in a skydaddy.
I never said believing in religion is any way better, anyway, the beliefs that are imposed at young age by parents are harder to overcome
that things that are widely regarded as dumb, such as stralogy or healing crystals, et al.
"No worse", yes, because both are stupid. And there are "Christian trophy wives" because there are Christian men.
beliefs. It's kinda clever if you have the stones to pull it off! I'm anti-theist, so I meet a lot of witches in anti-theist circles
(a lot of witches don't believe in magic, they just harness placebo using ritual. It's interesting to hear about!)
Placebo affect relies on believing the placebo has a real effect. You can't do it on purpose.
It doesn't, actually. Recently there was a study explicitly to test that aspect. Look into it, it's interesting stuff.
I know a witch, she's super cool
Well the alternative is that you're disrespecting an ACTUAL witch, and that's just not a chance I'm willing to take.
"I lie to dates about a fundamental aspect of my personality to test them." Yeah. Sounds like a better reason than witchcraft to walk.
Fundamental aspect of your personality? I don't see how Carin if you're a Virgo or putting rocks on your windowsill is that at all lmao.
I think it's more about 'I don't want a partner that is prone to nitpicking as well as arguing.' People like that suck the fun out of things
Muted response: Or eating a bit of bread and sipping some wine on a sunday lolz. Religion is a pretty fundamental aspect, yeah.
wysisntwyg
That old chestnut
Applecrack
Tried Tinder. Thought I got nothing cause I was boring. Found out its a bunch of snapchat and instagram bots.
bojeefus
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
OnomatopoeicOnanisma
"BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up." Classic bash 104383
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
I'm guessing it's the difference between just looking for someone to fuck and looking for someone to have a relationship with. If it's /1
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
just for sex, you can overlook a lot more. /2
Eli93
I've seen how easily that witch stuff leads to science denial. I dislike it just as much as any religion. Isn't this beautiful world enough?
SifeAndThor
Gerald is hot! I would date him!
TomatoPepper
Geralt is not a wizard, he is a witcher
SifeAndThor
Thx! But what is the difference? And Gandalf is a Witcher or wizard???
TomatoPepper
Gandalf is from another universe, and is a wizard. In the books, a Witcher has some access to the magic elements, but in a limited way
TomatoPepper
A wizard has big studies and natural skill for magic, so they can make complex witchcrafts. A Witcher have only elemental study and just
TomatoPepper
Limited access to the source of power. Geralt could be a wizard because he was "special" but never wanted
KetchupCatsup
That’s so wizard. Wish we could bring that back.
khopesh87
Eh, I mostly take it as a sign that she knows how to season her cooking and is down for uniquely fun naked time. But its anecdotal.
Blud4BludGod
The wiccan girl I dated (for 4 years!) was incredibly immature, emotionally distant, and cheated on me a ton. Full blown "sorry I fucked...
Blud4BludGod
...my coworker, Mercury is in gatorade right now what do you expect" kind of shit. I'm sure there's nice ones out there but it's as much...
Blud4BludGod
...a deal breaker for me now as any other kind of religious mumbo jumbo.
HamburgerWelper
Same except instead of the cooking it's alcoholism and/or a coke habit.
TychoTychoAlba
I find that crystals in particular are often a substitute for addiction.
khopesh87
Hmm, I take that as she knows how to make excellent potions and also has a great hookup for faerie powder.
inevermadeone
DeadeicPrints
Just my personal experience, but 100% true lol.
AnarchySong
Recently had a friend who had a girl crying while she dumped him because she found out he was born in July and she can't be with a cancer...
blueyedwineaux
I’m a nerd woman but, the guy who lost his cool at not being able to move the bread plate w his mind as a “Jedi” was a massive YIKES
RedAppleSoda
IupvoteAussies
Wouldn't make my top 20 of worst dates lol though it'd rank high among the weird ones
jursamaj
See, nerdy is different from what the comedian was talking about. I'm a nerdy guy, but I don't *believe in* Star Wars, etc.
Snooj
Did he clarify that it always works at home?
blueyedwineaux
The bricks in the building and too many people “blocked” the force. I could say so much more.
lilmookieesquire
KiwiGameDev
That’s um… yeah wow
agapan
You know, I knew a guy who claimed to claimed to be Wiccan when we were like 18. He was decidedly not the least fuckable boy in that group.
dmjalund
You don't' say you're a wizard, you say you're a thaumatologist
SirJimmothy
"I'm a Grand WIzard... check out my hat"
truespartangaming
Remember kids, Horoscopes are just birthday prejudices. It's not real.
goflyblind
HeyOP
What was this show again? I remember it being fun. Something about Satan's daughter maybe? Or maybe I'm conflating another cartoon.
goflyblind
no, that's right. ugly americans - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1621748/
HeyOP
Right! Thank you.
GravyEducation
Also source of this gif
HeyOP
Nice.
Skizmo
wickid
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
really, no one is gonna comment on the "GANDOFF" subtitle? hmm? no, just me? ok then
RooGryphon
You ever get a girl that has that conceited I'm better then you voice... back off red flag she is a bitch
Laylah77
Also, tough finding a good Wizard these days.
WeAreOctopi
Just say you’re a Wiccan
Therealstevenf
You're a wiccan
FightOligarchy
I’m a Wiccan’t
ifteguy2
You're a Wiccan
khora
Yes, Wiccan.
donorkort
One-up them - I'm the wiccanest.
Klaaism
Everyone says that until they wake up in a circle of candles, and she's asking for some blood.
Heffe3737
Then you put on some sisters of mercy and give that poor girl some blood! You don’t need it all, anyway!
PleasantPeasantPheasant
Lol, No, Wiccan means connecting with nature though, magic crystals, incense, linen clothing, shrooms, weed, and being naked outdoors.
homoerection
I like all of those things. Guess I’m a witch now ??♂️
MightyMile
Yer a witch Harry.
WorstPostEver
Just to be clear... Whose?
thevortexmaster
I'm a wiccan
ThatOtherMacAvoyWoman
Like Gandalf and shit?
inkasep1
I'm a wiccan.
GravyEducation
NotAgainDammit
If I could practice necromancy I would. Consequences Be dammed! Give me an army of the dead!
xizar
Just gotta whisper those three magic words... Klatuu Verada... and that third one.
NotAgainDammit
NECKTIE!!!
DougTheLlama
Now just say ooogidy boogidy!
Spootanany
Aw yes they call him the streak!
thevortexmaster
Ooogidy boogity!
TheLastBootyBender
Now tell us where the treasure is hidden.
thevortexmaster
Up my butt
Thorinori
Now say your credit card number with those 3 digits on the back!
thevortexmaster
Your credit card number with those 3 digits on the back!
l33thack0r
I'm okay with women I date being witchy. I just don't care for when they try to sacrifice me to further their magical abilities.
flamingflamingo
Well I mean, in real life being a wizard means you’re a high ranking KKK member, so…
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
Just because their racist D&D got out of hand and they lost grip on reality doesn't make all wizards part of the KKK
TattoosAndTENS
Ngl if a dude told me he was a wizard on a date he would definitely get it. I mean, what are the rest of y'all doing anyway? Boring af
[deleted]
[deleted]
TotallyNotSarcastic
Sleight…
thevortexmaster
But what if I'm just an apprentice?
KiwiGameDev
A quiet life keeps the voices down
farfie
You could very well meet a wizard on a date if you live in New Zealand. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wizard_of_New_Zealand
HiHowAreYou92
What annoys me is the pandering. You wanna believe that go ahead, but when I point out the flaws and falacies don't get mad.
FiftyShadesOfTiramisu
What a great opportunity to comment on religion in general.Like how this is a million times saner than thinking you can talk to the creator…
FiftyShadesOfTiramisu
of the universe who has taken a special interest in you and wants you to live in his magical sky spa one day. But nope, let's just bash ...
FiftyShadesOfTiramisu
the minority religion so the christians in the audience can have a giggle. Why punch up when you can punch down
thevortexmaster
I think you're taking a silly joke a tad too seriously friend
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
No, I punch all around. People can be what they want to be but choosing a partner is different, believing in magic is a red flag for me
FiftyShadesOfTiramisu
My point is precisely that he doesn't punch all around. That's ok when you're dealing with an individual who has a specific ridiculous …
FiftyShadesOfTiramisu
belief, but he's a comedian on a stage talking to a large audience. The individual he's talking about is completely made up. He could ...
RummageSaleBubbler
@BotDrawA Gandalf, and a witch, on a date
BotDrawA
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your (experimental extra) drawing of a "Cover for the book, "Gandalf, and a wi
SeeShark
Aww, it's learning to spell! (I jest, but all things considered AI is learning to spell faster than most children.)
DougTheLlama
thevortexmaster
Hahah awesome
Iwannabecalledspaghetti
It's a good bot
RummageSaleBubbler
BotDrawA
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your drawing of a "Gandalf, and a witch, on a date"
HamburgerWelper
I'm honestly feeling top left half-pilgrim half-Jedi Gandalf's fit, that shit is fly.
TotallyNotSarcastic
Right tho!
TotallyNotSarcastic
I was really hoping one or more would be them on the fruit
RummageSaleBubbler
@BotDrawA Gandalf casting spell, causing a date (fruit) to explode into red shrapnel and magical silver smoke. {Closeup of exploding date.,}
BotDrawA
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your (experimental extra) drawing of a "Gandalf casting spell, causing a date
BotDrawA
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your drawing of a "Gandalf casting spell, causing a date (fruit) to explode in
BotDrawA
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your (experimental extra) drawing of a "Water colour of Gandalf casting spell,
BotDrawA
@RummageSaleBubbler Here's your drawing of a "Gandalf casting spell, causing a date (fruit) to explode in
RummageSaleBubbler
@TotallyNotSarcastic: Sorry, Gandalf has exploded this date. He got "Mellon" zoned. -- https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Mellon
Jheklstuff
You know, I don't miss dating. There are some real weirdos out there.
DaveSamsonite
I’m sure your partner is just the right amount of weird
egoistheenemy
you're not missing much. It hurts to be ghosted
Jheklstuff
Oh, I experienced that before I met my SO. Two months and they dropped off the face of the earth. Feels bad.
CitizenPrime
We're probably one of them
DireSickFish
I'm a wizard.
hiddenequality
Right?! Who would end a date with a wizard? Strange people out there....
fastjeff
Hey, I told you that if you wore the front of the walrus costume, it would've been a lot less weird, but you didn't even give me a chance!
gtollie
You just haven’t met the right wizard yet …
Jheklstuff
And never will, I'm soon to be married thankfully!
gtollie
Congratulations!
Klaaism
Thats what she said
Jheklstuff
I guess I'm she.
kevlarburrito
Hi she, I'm Kevlarburrito, a wizard
wheeeeeeeeeeee
Hypnoticcow
I did a few long terms. Here and there but mid 20s went for the casual dating, I was back on my game looking for the right one real quick
BoltActionGearbox
Right? And it' so hard to find a matching weirdo
KuroFluff
Yeah how do you skip that part and go directly to lifelong bond? Asking for a friend
AirplaneNerd
We're all weirdos. The trick is finding the *right kind* of weirdo.
lordfwahfnah
I remember there being a dating site for imgurians. Don't know what happened to that though
abacab87
There's one less with you out of the scene.
Jheklstuff
And I'll drink to that .
HamburgerWelper
It's me. I'm the real weirdo out there. Sup y'all.
heartlessninja6
Just keeping it real. Real weird.
Mickp81
+1 for being a weirdo.
WeAreNotSmilesTImes
AdelesEx
Sup ? I'm a wizard
homoerection
Is that like an indoor thing?
thegirlwiththechickenbutttattoo
*weirdo high five*
StopTheWorldIWannaGetOff
Is that the one where only the pinky and ring-fingers actually hit?
thegirlwiththechickenbutttattoo
Hell yeah!
dan144
Call me?
RhymingEverything
fellow weirdo chcking in
SquigglyBeast
Same
serleth
Sup
kevlarburrito
I haven't been with anyone for 10 years now, some times I miss it, but by all the gods old and new I do not miss drama.
Heavenissize17socks
"I hate you I hate you I hate you!! Call me!! "
RideTheStimutacs
I still like meeting new people, but I don't try anymore. I just make friends now, and once in a while one of them is aggressively into me.
RideTheStimutacs
Someone once asked me why we never dated; I said "because you had to ask me that question". If you're not blunt, I'm not interested.
kevlarburrito
I’m of the exact same mindset, meeting new people is nice. Unfortunately, a lot of people take nicety to mean flirtation, and assume the wrong intention. I just want someone to eat snacks with my tiny dog and I
RideTheStimutacs
Well that sounds fun! But yeah, I try to make my intentions clear early. Then if they still have the wrong idea, that's on them.
pugcashingout
Do you miss excitement in bed though? (Don’t mean to be rude)
Jheklstuff
I'm pretty happy with my SO
FuckThemIfTheyCantTakeAJoke
One less since OP stopped
CeoHuntingSeason
Not like you, you are totally normal and perfectly between the expectations of any attractive partner.
Jheklstuff
Never claimed to be. I will say though that I don't believe myself to have magical powers.
SeeShark
A lot of practicing witches don't believe that either. There are a lot of misconceptions about it.
ThaWhiteRanger
Have you ever tried though? You might have dormant powers you've never actualized.
CeoHuntingSeason
That's what a undercover witch would say
Leajjes
"Cuckskull" has a valid point.
AHopelesslyRomanticBOOB
It's the worst. But I dont like being lonely, so I persevere
InspiringBadger
I very often find myself having this same thought. If my husband dies, I'm staying single because dating sounds hard...
Junktrunkjunkie
I'm not even married and dating sounds hard. My friends try to talk me into it now and then but, I just don't feel any motivation for it.
Jheklstuff
Dude, same. I went on a couple of dates with women who were unironically like the ones he described and it's weird. (1/2)
Jheklstuff
I'm a wiccan! No, Sharron you're 29 and you work at DQ. I understand wanting to be special but it's a bit ridiculous. (2/2).
pixelsnader
Weirdos, wiccans and wizards.
JEMbalaya
My most recent online match ended things because she "doesn't appreciate a nice ass on guys"
Jheklstuff
Hope you have someone who appreciates your nice ass as much as my SO does.
JEMbalaya
I hope I find that someday too
PoopyProblem5
Some of them weirdos are the best kind of weirdos. Though to be fair most of them dont go on dates unfortunately
bunnyishungry
I met a guy. He insisted I learn his love language: 1) verbal 2) giving gifts 3) sex 4) sex 5) sex. 3,4, and 5 were basically /1
bunnyishungry
"physical touch related". And He picked 3,4 and 5 and told me that's his preferred way, and told me to pick 3 out of 5 as my love language
bunnyishungry
I was like >_> ya don't say buddy, ya don't say
Jheklstuff
Yeah, that's fucked lol Sorry you had to deal with that. Setting boundaries is fine but I'd walk out too if my SO told me how to love them.
aslowgiantfart
It is weird for a first date but in a committed partnership an SO should be able to let you know what makes them feel loved
bunnyishungry
I just met the guy, like that was our first long conversation O_< *twitch*twitch*
HamburgerWelper
It's tough finding a girl these days that isn't into astrology, crystals, dreamcatchers or some other witchy shit.
Jamesstin
Its a test to weed out absurd dudes. If you can handle someone's interest then you arebt likely to beat them.
AsABiologistWhoIsNotFunAtParties
Let me get this straight, if a guy finds your belief in magic to be silly, HE is absurd? And more likely to beat you? Did you reach that>
AsABiologistWhoIsNotFunAtParties
>conclusion with a crystal ball or tarot cards?
Jamesstin
The issue is that people like you cant even hear the mention of this topic without reacting as if theyre talking about devout belief AND
Jamesstin
As if theyre personally responsible for the Inquisition by mere mention of some lighthearted interest. Yall seem unhinged, basically.
thegirlwiththechickenbutttattoo
Honestly, I equate the validity of astrology to christianity. Shits made up, yo. A label is a label. All hail logic.
TallDarkndHandsy
I dunno, like yes it's entirely made up but I find it fun to pretend sometimes with astrology
thegirlwiththechickenbutttattoo
That can get just as dangerous as religion. I knew someone that refused to talk/associate with certain signs. Lol shit is goofy.
kevlarburrito
"witchy" shit
wildsageHMC
All of those girls into astrology and crystals and witchy shit should slide into my DMs
jursamaj
Why, so you can get laid before they figure out you think they're crazy?
wildsageHMC
Uh… no, it’s because I’m a girl that’s also into witchy shit. Tf is wrong with you
jursamaj
Sorry, didn't realize you were one of the crazies…
wildsageHMC
Sure, that’s me. Please find yourself as unattracted to me as possible and go all the way away.
Rabidbacon
They lose their shit when you tell them astrology is space racism.
DVSBSTrD
Dreamcatchers are nice. Fun to make.
jursamaj
As artwork, sure. As "real", absolutely not.
DianNaoChong
That's called pseudoscience and I hate how it's infiltrated our society
inevermadeone
Laylah77
Like Christianity and other religions are more fun. Not.
MadamPuddifoot
*waves singlely*
williamshakesbeer
Dude I legit went on a date and found out she protects her virginity because she is a Virgo. Like I respect her choice, but wtf man.
williamshakesbeer
It was a fun date and It didn't really go anywhere. I really hope she was fucking with me
OmniXBro
Just consider the hot-crazy scale.
notsol337
I married a witch. They're into all sorts of fun things.
tooomanystevesgotbanned
Have you tried dating women instead of girls?
theovermynd
Its a cool aesthetic and theyre usually great in bed. Got a witchy goth GF right now, can recommend.
TheTrashCanMan
It's tough finding a woman
esleone
It's called minerals ...
MostFurociousMeow
Respectfully disagree
FiftyShadesOfTiramisu
*who
HamburgerWelper
let the dogs out
matshelge
When the world is complex and confusing, this is a common occurrence.
AnxiaTeaDD
I’m a girl who likes crystals but I’m just really into cool rocks and shit. I don’t believe they dont have magical properties.
gakio12
Idk, etching silicone in a specific way so you can apply electricity and do math is pretty magical.
gakio12
silicon’’ It might be a bit less magical with silicone.
ImAnActionBirb
Sounds like a wonderful selection!
BiologicallyHazardousMaterial
hello! poly & trans though so expect me to be SUPER funny.
Ihaventconsumedenoughwineforthis
I like to think my ability to keep plants alive and raise animals from birth successfully is witchcraft.
BiologicallyHazardousMaterial
i immediately get farm vibes from you
Ihaventconsumedenoughwineforthis
Lucid dreams feel witchy too. I think that's just insomnia though
FlatPlutoSociety
It is, and I definitely think that shit is dumb, but I'm also really into baseball, so I can't fault someone for stupid, harmless hobbies.
jursamaj
Astrology is not harmless when people make decisions based on it.
HieronymousFlex
It's no more dumb than any other religious belief. Same shit, different hats.
B99Reactions
That makes absolutely no sense
AlxEverett
Interesting. See, it takes all types to make this crazy world. For example, I think that shit is awesome and baseball is dumb.
spookyactionatadistance
I think astrology and crystals is in fact harmful. Like any new age nonsense it promotes non scientific thinking and leads to what happened
AlxEverett
Whelp. You can think what you want. People can like what they want. I think you’re wrong. It’s not the problem. Fox News doesn’t peddle this
spookyactionatadistance
It's not what i think. Its actual facts. Astrology is not real. And crystal moms are against the vaccine. Astrology and new age is the
dauculli
Thank you!
RummageSaleBubbler
Fine example of Berkson's paradox. Good looking, normal, folks are not single. What's left is either really nice less attractive, or (1/2)
RummageSaleBubbler
a bit weird and more attractive. More info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berkson%27s_paradox (2/2)
thundercactus
My self esteem is not helped by the existence of a scientific study that implies I'm more likely than not to be either unattractive or weird
MadamPuddifoot
I'm sorry fucking weird AND not very attractive, so GOOD. ?
RummageSaleBubbler
Unsure if it helps, but those are not an XOR.
Warvillage
IupvoteAussies
I'm both weird and less attractive, so maybe I'm balancing you out!
demoncatmara
Weird can be super attractive tho
RummageSaleBubbler
Absolutely. I was attempting to be less offensive, and sneak in a statistics lesson under folks' radar.
Kittynomnoms
If it helps, the entire thing REEKS of incel "ohhh I'm so desirable and redpilled" shit. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
[deleted]
[deleted]
astrangehop
Maybe you just smell or something.
awkwardbeautiful
Raises hand
Atlasguitar
"Ooh ooh pick me!"
LrrrRulerofThePlanetOmicronPerseiVIII
How you doin’?
awkwardbeautiful
Meh, not to bad today. Glad it’s Friday.
RAJrios
No, no. How _you_ doin'?
IWasACatAllAlong
Throw 200 pairs of panties at you. You die from getting smothered.
DVSBSTrD
You live up to your user name.
awkwardbeautiful
Thank you?
BleedingQuasar
*gives an overly excited high five* ...wait, did I fuck up recognizing social cues again?
Sayagain
Witch!!! Burn her!!!
awkwardbeautiful
You found that I weigh as much as a duck didn’t you?
KiwiGameDev
You won’t after we strap the concrete shoes on! Witch!
sixseasonsandamov1e
bunnyishungry
Also raises hand, I'm into science and math baby
gakio12
Did math reproduce to create math baby? Would that be computer science?
IWasACatAllAlong
Is that like a boss baby? Im not into babies being smart or financially aware.
awkwardbeautiful
I’m into travel, artsy stuff, and memes.
probablywrenching
Hi :) Let's travel to an art exhibit of memes.
Righteousdew
Math baby.
Sayagain
A witch!!!
CatBeagler
Thats not a witch! Thats your wife!
RunanD
Conversely, I've heard a lot of girls say that it's great to pretend you're into that shit to weed out edgy guys who can't respect harmless
68people
I'd just want to be with someone sensible who doesn't think they're a witch, and can chat honestly. So, win win I guess.
JuliusPepperwoodFromChicago
Knitting sweaters for your cat is harmless. Not being smart enough to dismiss bullshit can snowball into all kinds of other problems.
jursamaj
See, that's a bad strategy. What they're *really* selecting for is guys willing to put up with such stuff long enough to have sex.
aqueueforyou
Exactly, they think they're winning but really they're playing themselves. Beauty privilege can Really blind and F everyone over.
CeoHuntingSeason
Red flag, specially since believing all that is corelated to lower intelligence and many men want their kids to be as smart/smarter than tem
GoblinShaper
I downvoted you just for that username.
wildsageHMC
Correlated to lower intelligence
wildsageHMC
I don’t normally correct spelling out of respect to those who know it as a second, third, or fourth language, but if you’re knocking someone
wildsageHMC
/2 for a lack of intelligence, at least spell check your shit dude
RunanD
Hey look everyone, it worked! Someone who thinks women are broodmares to be bred for male heirs has been spooked away!
InTangier
Yikes.
CeoHuntingSeason
RunanD muted me, ha! coward, perhaps statistics as a field is just too chauvinist in their eyes
acatinbirdsclothing
Do you want to know why this survey is a biased dumpster fire, undeserving of any credit? It was done on Facebook.
CeoHuntingSeason
...you truly believe that astrology is not correlated with low intelligence? How do you feel about alien abductions? Or sasquatch spotters?
lilmookieesquire
Queue "math doesn't lie" number washing comment.
CeoHuntingSeason
Sauce
InTangier
IQ is as scientific as astrology, just more problematic.
HamburgerWelper
“Cuck”, “sauce”, weird fixation on traditional gender roles & pseudoscience about mating & breeding. 4chan is unhealthy man go outside.
TheFrostyOak
Then why are there so many Christian "trophy wives?" The belief in witchcraft is no worse than the belief in a skydaddy.
CeoHuntingSeason
I never said believing in religion is any way better, anyway, the beliefs that are imposed at young age by parents are harder to overcome
CeoHuntingSeason
that things that are widely regarded as dumb, such as stralogy or healing crystals, et al.
jursamaj
"No worse", yes, because both are stupid. And there are "Christian trophy wives" because there are Christian men.
RunanD
beliefs. It's kinda clever if you have the stones to pull it off! I'm anti-theist, so I meet a lot of witches in anti-theist circles
RunanD
(a lot of witches don't believe in magic, they just harness placebo using ritual. It's interesting to hear about!)
jursamaj
Placebo affect relies on believing the placebo has a real effect. You can't do it on purpose.
RunanD
It doesn't, actually. Recently there was a study explicitly to test that aspect. Look into it, it's interesting stuff.
demoncatmara
I know a witch, she's super cool
thundercactus
Well the alternative is that you're disrespecting an ACTUAL witch, and that's just not a chance I'm willing to take.
HeyOP
"I lie to dates about a fundamental aspect of my personality to test them." Yeah. Sounds like a better reason than witchcraft to walk.
RunanD
Fundamental aspect of your personality? I don't see how Carin if you're a Virgo or putting rocks on your windowsill is that at all lmao.
farfie
I think it's more about 'I don't want a partner that is prone to nitpicking as well as arguing.' People like that suck the fun out of things
HeyOP
Muted response: Or eating a bit of bread and sipping some wine on a sunday lolz. Religion is a pretty fundamental aspect, yeah.