Moorglademover
568158
13337
192
Utility Key Tool.
Reusable Hand Warmers.
The Pocket Chainsaw.
Tool Logic Credit Card Companion.
Contains 9 Essential Tools For Everyday Jobs Including Tweezers, Can Opener And Compass.
The Friendly Swede Survival Grenade.
Charge Key – Micro USB Charging Cable
Wallet Ninja.
The Wallet Ninja Fits 18 Functional Tools Into A Tiny Wallet Sized Package. Tools Include a Cell Phone Stand, Screw Driver And Bottle Opener.
Card Sharp – Credit Card Sized Folding Knife.
Pocket Stashes.
Keep Whatever You Need At Hand With These Tiny Water Tight Pocket Stashes, Including A Fully Functional Lighter You Can Keep On Your Key Chain.
phsnyc
Look at all the things the TSA confiscated today!
ChaosLierLen637
Neato.
LiterallyYourMom
I feel like #1 is just a DUI waiting to happen.
JabbaTheSwampBandit
Now all we need are infomercial auditioners
TheInnocentCriminal
I read title as "things that make TSA do a full-cavity search"
nejvek
I have a cardsharp. You are more likely to cut yourself than anything you plan on cutting. It's flimsy and doesn't hold together.
Feralkyn
Mine's great :S I love it. And no I don't work for them.
SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem
SO many little gadgets and tools I'll never ever use!
lickmyhawk
DO NOT BUY A POCKET CHAINSAW THAT IS CHEAP. I live in Alaska and I bought the same pocket saw it is only useful for sticks.
WaluigiInAWheelchair
Reusable hand warmers are the shit, I have 4 of these and you boil them, click the plate and boom, as hot as a hot water bottle.
Justapartofyourimagination
I had them all too. Agreed they are PURE shit.
Landship
As an ex-bouncer, we hated those credit card knives
grayjedi
Looks to me like a bunch of solutions in search of problems.
azzurrivincitore13
Pocket Sand is still better
SoftlySpeaking
This needs more upvotes.
Sousnami
How do you use the tweezers on the first pic?
zonkos
Found it! https://youtu.be/6TvLfXZ0snQ skip to :45
Sousnami
Ahh... Well done.
theshrektacularshrek
Magic
planbparty
what.. what does one use an eye.. knife... for..... exactly..?
theshrektacularshrek
Maybe you'll find out if you look behind you...
ShiteDrawings
My pockets all come equipped with reusable hand warmers....
Sorensame
Micro-USB charger. Plugged into an iPhone.
uitSCHOT
Thanks for the links, fuckface!!
[deleted]
[deleted]
uitSCHOT
fair point, but it just seems silly to post "must-have" stuff and then don't provide further information or links...
JaXm
I said it before and I'll say it again, the cardsharp is literally the most useless piece of shit in the history of useless pieces of shit.
Bradaigh
I have one and I find it very useful. So like, that's just, like, your opinion, man
JaXm
No you don't. There is nothing that 'knife' does that is convenient, reliable, novel, or in any way useful. Don't be a contrarian
MrFastZombie
It's a knife. It cute things. I doubt they'd dare sell a knife that is unable to do what a knife does.
Feralkyn
I love mine and I don't work for them. Used it to sharpen my walking stick, too. BEAR IN MIND they've come in different versions.
JaXm
I used to work at a place that sold them. I can say with some authority that they are utter shit. You would have been served just as well...
Feralkyn
They've updated as time went on, though, unless you've sold them until recently. I still have mine.
JaXm
..by literally any other slightly pointed object with a reasonably sharp edge on it. The cardsharp is utter nonsense wrapped in smelly bacon
wererat2000
#4 I had one of those, that exact brand, even... it sucked. The compass was next to the metal tools and the plastic was breaking in a week.
thisisanadventure
I had the first tool and it was worthless.
Mykronoid
But, why no links though?
SquidMeal
here. http://www.thinkgeek.com/
Mykronoid
Thank you kindly!
nighttimesleepaids
OP likes shopping on think geek.
samb0ne
I forgot about the failblog of cool stuff!
kumokurin
And vat19
Isometimesupvotereposts
DOT.com
sweatshopkids
And sucking dick.
thegr8rambino
AHAHAHAHAHA
Vevv
And this is why I'm broke.com
TalonDudeguy
That's what I was thinking through this entire post :P
thegr8rambino
Loool
samb0ne
I forgot about the failblog of cool stuff!
SteelyD
I feel like the Survival Grenade graphic should also contain rope since it appears to be wrapped in rope...
CobraDBlade
It's something like 50 feet of paracord iirc.
IndiaSixty
I own that particular Survival Grenade, and I can attest that it indeed comes with everything shown + 50 ft of paracord.
WhiskeyAndCoke
Exactly. The paracord is usable af when comes to survival/camping stuff.
SirStrongBad
As the proud owner of a Card Sharp, I have taken it everywhere...including on planes.
LosPer
terrifying...
Motosapien
Only place I've been asked to remove it was not an airport or club but at a courthouse! Xray tech was a true pro! Also, ridiculously sharp!
Hogek
I've got one too. And i tell you, it's very very sneaky!
SirStrongBad
Just to clarify, it was totally accidental taking in a plane. Completely forgot I had it on me. X-ray tech didn't do his job I guess.
ItsFRONKENsteen
and the notion that you could hijack a plane with it is kinda ludicrous. I have one too, that I had completely forgotten about, flew alot!
CultofCedar
Lost one at the airport and one at a federal museum. I do not believe
OneMoreLagerAndIMightLearnToLikeYa
I'm telling mom
birdspy
I gave my brother one and he was promptly ticketed for having it.
SirStrongBad
What was their reasoning for issuing the ticket?
birdspy
a small plastic clip that swivels around to hold the blade in, but the make of the whole thing is flimsy and cheap.
birdspy
it was flimsy, and opened in his pocket. they reached in his pocket and he had forgotten he had it. as you can see in the picture, it has1/2
lpooptoomuch
What is your current location? I swear I'm not a cop.
SirStrongBad
I love your Twitter...lol https://twitter.com/notapoliceman
InfinitusEquitas
You're full of shit.
politelydisagreeing
I lost one to airport security once, so I don't believe you.
SirDistic
Always ask for a receipt if they take anything. Tell them it belongs to your company and you need a reciept to prove they took it.
YouHaveJustBegunReadingTheUsernameYouHaveJustFinishedReading
Why?
SirDistic
Because they will give the item back since they don't give receipts. Too much hassle for them.
politelydisagreeing
It was 5am and I had only been awake like an hour, so I just asked them to throw it in the trash. That's a good idea though.
seanweinstein
I love the pocket chainsaw, tie ropes to either end of the saw and throw it over high branches and 2 people can cut them down from th ground
GimlisaurusRex
...so you can knock _yourself_ out with a tree branch. Noted.
ourari
Or you could do it by yourself, if you want to get hit in the head by a falling branch.
Barbado
Or you could just stand off to the side and cut it sideways.
HatsAreEssential
Pfft, logic...
tangybreath
Pocket chainsaw... no thank you.
apcolleen
I have a ww2 field amputation kit and it has something similar for cutting bone.
Kargathia
I'm about 80% sure that thing would classify as illegal weaponry around here.
zarkingphoton
Where do you live? Her Majesty's Royal Nanny State?
Threns
Space-Marine quality garrotte there
Kargathia
Was more thinking along the lines of pre-sharpened bicycle chain, but the end result is pretty much the same.
Ralianth
I heard they're pretty pathetic at cutting
seanweinstein
I only use them as described above and when cutting roots of a tree that are half buried underground, I have no complaints
GimlisaurusRex
I think they are intended for specific jobs and/or emergencies, not everyday jobs...
AppalachianAdventurer
Depends on which one you have. My friends dad easily cut a smaller tree with one on a hike we took.
ImmortalLoveRodd
If you get the chain around the majority of the branch and have good leverage, it can cut a 3-4 inch branch in just a few seconds.
RS26
Disappointing the survival grenade doesn't come with an actual grenade
aFuzzySloth
Yeah - I didn't know they made tinder for paracord balls. App developers are amazing.
Phullonrapist
If all else fails, just blow yourself up.
shank
If real life had respawns, I would've blown myself up about a million times.
Jameszombob
"EAT SURVIVAL, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!!!!" - rs26
Voodoomancer
How to survive a bear: Step one: Make yourself look bigger. Step two: Forget this, grenade the fucker. Step three: Bear steak.
HighrockTendales
In Soviet Russia....
OddlyCantEven
Spotted the American. Or terrorist. It's gotta be one or the other... :P
Sakkura
Actual grenades don't help with survival.
Voodoomancer
They can do if a mountain lion tries to eat you.
PartyMagician
Why does "MICRO USB charge key" show an iPhone?
Swartztinopl
USB charge key, micro.
Snikch
You can get lightning or micro. OP mislabelled.
TheNamesAlexRose
Pocket stashes, for your... quarters.
cyno01
Idk, looks kinda small, if it were super dank you could MAYBe get an eighth in there.
VilifiedHyde
...for only $19.99
MikeMilli
Quarter ounces..
SeriousCloud
Of hash maybe.
Kasmoke
Looks like it'd hold a couple dimes at most.
CObullUshitGH
http://www.dvdbeaver.com/film3/blu-ray_reviews54/papillon_blu-ray_/large/large_papillon_blu-ray_5.jpg You'll never find my stash!!!
KaidonThelVadam
Where else would you keep your POCKET SAND!
kaneep
In your pocket
Teelitisti
You wouldn't want your quarters to get wet, would you?
Carpedicks
Why do my bills need a lighter!?
dirtbikerdan
to figuratively and literally burn money
Carpedicks
To burn the green?
CreepyPhlox
I see them used in geocaching a lot.
mobiusm1
for real though, if you drive a lot in a place where toll booths are common, you'd understand.
MandMEnterprises
* nickel...bags
renairetairider
When I was younger, I got a blue one of those from Niagara Falls and I used it as my piggy bank/wallet. I collected about $75 in it and (1/2
renairetairider
wore it on a lanyard around my neck. One day we went to get our car washed and i set it down somewhere that i assumed was safe. I lost it.
Pawnderlust
You mean dimes .... bags, dime . Bags. Dime bags. I mean pot.
CojeCulos69
The perfect tool for my gram of wee...kend money. Yeah. That.
circlebreaker
For Pinball Wizards
MyDogJake
they are shaped a lot liek suppositories.
GrabbinSince05
Read papillon. The French prisoners love shoving money up their butts
sweetfeetpete
For your other pocket. Good for county
folkvarthr
Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough.
Csel
*chucky cheese tokens
comicreader
Quarter thing great for parking meters
freyjaboo
And dimes? What about stuff that comes in eighths?
HamsterFood
You'll never fit a whole quarter ounce in there
Metalgearslade
That's what your pockets are for, surely?
mastremarx
My quarters need to be protected
Phullonrapist
Looks more like it would fit a dime
agrady1995
I was going to say that, so you may have my upvote.
Irtizal
I upvoted your comment because I thought it was clever.
Phullonrapist
I up voted yours because I appreciate the recognition
Irtizal
And thus the vicious cycle begins!
unclegoku
because drugs.
BetterUserNameThanLastTime
Hey, arcades aren't free.
myheartisstarkmyspiritistargaryen
I'll take one of each please
quietrage
You! ! That's some funny shit right there.
Sellthekidney
Quarter...Caine
YesIChangedMyNameAgain
hoffbox
Beat me to it. +1
strumfooligan
What movie is this?
ItDoesntMatterWhoWeAre
Bongwater
JSmith90
The Hot Chick
SirScarface69
Darude Sandstorm
thyfangysock
I actually wouldn't mind one for them gold dollar coins... cept it'd be too bulky on key rings
Landship
Emergency Arcade!
GradyG
Friend found +$300 worth of pills in a Wawa parking lot in one of those. MONEY MOONEY
JeanLouisPepsi
There's $300 in Wawa?
BarlesCharkley162543868
That was 60 dollars worth of pharmaceuticals!
TheHappyCanadian
my dexedrine prescription costs me $30 for 60 pills, apparently they can sell for up to $5 a pill on a college campus
BarlesCharkley162543868
... it was a quote from The Basketball Diaries.
Istealfromthefrontpage
Wtf did he find?
Solkanarmy
+$300 worth of pills
ThatMomentWhenImgurJokesAreOnlyFunnyToImgurians
you son of a bitch
aShogunNamedMarcus
Back when MDMA in pill form wasn't utter shit it could run $20/ea, they are tiny pills so 15 could easily fit in there.
iGoAwayButWeAreTwoOfSoul
Check agora man, it's pretty easy to get 200-250mg pressed pills, 84% purity.
iLoveItWhenMyFingersSmellLikePussy
For that money I used to get a gram of pure mdma.. I'd say good old days, but I'm actually pretty glad I kicked that habit :p
abyzou
I don't think they even use mdma anymore, hence why it's all so terrible now :/
GroovySloth
If it's utter shit in pill form now you could just buy pure MDMA.
DoingMyKanyeBest
@sirmik003 WAWASSSS!
SirMik003
Yes, Wawa.
DoingMyKanyeBest
WAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SirMik003
No not Wawas, just Wawa.
DoingMyKanyeBest
@sirmik003
FellOffTheJetwayAgain
Molly?
theycallmescrewtape
That's 20 molly. Those things don't look that big.
ThatFamousGuyFromSubway
Roxies xD
thisheretexasdude
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/shut-up.gif
AFancyRedFox
Yes?
[deleted]
[deleted]
AFancyRedFox
And why is that?
whatawasteoftea
No, it was Wendy. Why do you ask?
ramtennae
ohyou.picture
icyanddicey
you americans and putting symbols in front of numbers :/ It should at least be $300+
ireya
And in America, $300 would be a typo. Standard practice is dollar sign before numers, or cents sign after numbers.
rhinocerass
As an American, I think most Americans would do it like that. $300+
ireya
The majority of American posts I'veseen do $300+.Some are wrong but why put all Americans together because you saw a couple posts like that?
icyanddicey
The dollar sign is still in front, that's where I was aiming with "americans"
Commanderwho
Wait, you mean like prescription drugs? Wouldn't that be illegal to sell?
Brightandshiny
Even if they werent rx pills it more than likely would be illegal
Commanderwho
That's what I was thinking. Unless they were already involved in such matters, it would be hard to cash out. If they did have an easy >
Commanderwho
way of selling things illegally, I don't think that would be something to announce on the internet. Thus my confusion.
Cheomesh
Protip: Those credit card or key tool things are complete garbage. The pocket chainsaw is only marginally better than using your teeth.
Cheomesh
Source: Futz'd about with several of these.
ThatFriendYoureAskingFor
Or you could just use two hands?
minipancho94
have the key multi tool and i love it dude. definitely not as good as a real tool, but i dont bring a proper tool set with me everywhere.
bananerbread
I have the card sharp just as a backup knife. So I always have one. Came in handy a couple times.
adamous
I've tried the pocket chainsaw. Anything bigger than a twig and the saw is more likely to go through your fingers first.
zephyruk
Agreed. Just one decent knife does most jobs, rather than a pocket of shit.
MickSallaway
Yeah but it's cool looking shit. Take my money! :(
BetYouCantHitMeWithaQuarter
Agreed. These are either a gimmick or a novelty toy.
ThatFriendYoureAskingFor
PROTIP- wallet ninja is awesome. Source- mine
lonelystrandedalien
i've played around with the credit card folding knife once, it's actually quite ok for office-type tasks. dont expect it to chop wood though
SeriousCloud
I carry a knife everyday and I don't know what office type tasks are. Letter opening maybe, but a letter opener would do better.
lonelystrandedalien
opening boxes, slicing an apple, light cutting jobs basically.
BoomBoomBrucey
I have a very cheap credit card tool and it works just fine for everything I've needed it for. Better than nothing and always on you.
Feralkyn
I love my credit card knife. :|
ttownep
I got that Sinclair Card Sharp as a gift. It's crap. Letter opener at best.
bananerbread
Really? Yours must be defective. Mine came literally razor sharp. Shaved my arm hair with it.
ttownep
It's sharp, but it's so thin. It bends so easily.
bananerbread
I mean, yeah. It's the size of a credit card. What are you trying to cut?
Mergul
You need two people to utilize the saw properly, one on each end. Then it works well enough for the amount of space it saves.
LordCommanderTomSnow
Agreed, I was able to saw a log bigger than a foot across with two people.
ActualCannibalShia
I have a pocket chainsaw that actually works pretty well.
SBegosh
Lies.
sleambean
Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf always carries around a pocket chainsaw...
Cheomesh
I'll be. Last one I futzed with was slightly faster than just asking the limb to fall off for me.
ActualCannibalShia
It was no chainsaw but I think mine did as well as you can reasonably expect a hand saw to do. Maybe its just the brand
NexiKuro
I don't know about other versions but any serious saw would make the one shown it's bitch. a hatchet is probably better for on the go though
DarkUranium
Limb? I don't think it's meant for limbs. That's what swords are for.
ActualCannibalShia
No no it works quite well on limbs. Source: ummmm refer to user name
DarkUranium
You barbarian. You know full well that pocket chainsaws are not the correct utensils for limbs! Swords and axes are! Learn your etiquette!