HamsterOnAGoat
85652
1090
15
Apr 18, 2023 12:53 PM
HamsterOnAGoat
85652
1090
15
MutinusElegans
This is a perfect post for favorite and forget!
TheMayorOfTittyCity
The only way to remedy dampness in bed is to keep my Pokémon collection away from the missus
nomorehate
#33 This works, also you can dip the freshly cut stems into a bleach/water mix and place them in a fresh clean vase with a crushed baby aspirin or a little vodka. Keeps them alive a few more days!
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
#17
easytigger
Glued corks in crack, currently in hospital. Door still rattling.
ElorYosnak
God damn it, take your upvote.
Calicious
A lot of these are new to me, and still have some utility today.
dietcokeyo
#35 if you pull back his tail and he pinches you with his claw... TOO fresh!
ExTechOp
At the time these "how to do it"'s were made, lobsters were likely considered poor people's food: https://psmag.com/economics/how-lobster-got-fancy-59440
historycat
#36 that's a huge fucking lobster! Congratulations on all their success.
spontaneous9
The longer we fish 'em the smaller they get. Maybe that was a normal size for a century ago, but I'm just guessing. Tuna catch is that way.
Alfadorfox
#3 Wow, this would be great if I had any calcined magnesia laying around. Or lace.
WeirdoIIC
"Run along beside, and with the hand nearest, grip the shaft..."
SilverHornet
#ElbowDeepInAHorse
Ghlargh
For the first one i thought "but wouldn't you just be able to smell if a bed is so moist that it's a problem?" then realized these are tips for smokers who have lost their sense of smell years ago.
xenjamin
Not really. You want to test for dampness (mold, piss, etc.) WITHOUT using your own actual nose, for obvious reasons.
DocBeeblebrox
These were interesting @op, funny the things cigarette manufacturers were doing!
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
#31 instructions unclear
rezorrand
I love these. Remnants of a world with some problems similar to what we might face today, but some so obscure they force you to wonder how commonplace such situations just happened to be. Just how is lace cleaned nowadays? How often does a bystander need to stop a horse? And why aren't we checking for damp beds anymore? Also why are we no longer carrying fancy pocket mirrors anymore?
rijstewafels
I'm trying the chicken one
JCBeastie
We went from this to "life hacks" society is declining,
wannabecarol
What is a handkerchief?
xenjamin
People used to carry an "all-day-kleenex" for various reasons. Including flirting by women. Workers just blew their noses in them. Pepperidge Farms remembers.
MisadventurousFlapJack
Apparently hot water fixes a lot of problems
qyrriqat
Unless your problem is that you keep getting into hot water.
sarkonas
Except the damp bed, methinks
BaddyOneShoe
I think my wife doesn't love me anymore.
AkuTheShapeShiftingMasterOfDarkness
You're gonna need a lot of very hot water for that.
ClosetGuitarPlayerYesItsThatBad
Any linguists or language nerds here? What is it with the way things were worded back then. Is there a collegiate label for this other than “old timey”.
MrE158
Really this stuff is just more formal than how we currently use English. There's nothing particularly archaic about the words or phrasing.
xenjamin
Modern speech is greatly influenced by slacker culture going back to ww2 and the 50s.
hetnkik999
And just like modern life hacks, these are mostly common sense or bullshit.
ElorYosnak
Admittedly, a reasonable number of these are "common sense" that is obscure or strange enough that we don't think about 'em now. And I for one didn't see any bs
MosquitoHawker
I had no idea these even existed until this moment. Those are neat.
IdoWalk
Thanks Cigarettes
Almaadin
#38 knot number 1 is the fisherman's knot.
MaybeIllDisappear
Anyone else read the How To Do It each time?
TiredGoodnight
In a damn old timey voice, too
johneventually1
In an old timey voice you betcha, champ
DukeDarkwood
How To Do It: Reading memes on imgur -- Read every word in every image, even when it is a header for pictures with a common theme.
chetnixandflill
100 in set
SpeedyCerviche
I feel attacked
steve1907
Gallagher was a massive employer in Belfast from about 130 years ago right up to the mid 60’s. Made cigarettes, I think they used to have these little ‘hack’ cards inside the packs. Early 1900s reduced the working week from 57 to 47 hours for the workers. Served cut price meals. Quite progressive for his day.
JeevesMk2
Thanks, Gallaher's Cigarettes. Now, how do I cure my lung cancer?
DeadOnionSaysWhat
How is this not the top reply?
Ghlargh
By smoking Gallaher cigarettes, they make you healthy and fresh! Or something to that effect.
ParadeOfCrap
Probably with hot water, somehow.
ctotheg2
Cigarette trade cards were collectible cards included in cig packs in the late 19th & early 20th Cs# as a marketing tool by cig manufacturers to boost brand loyalty. These were issued in sets, & the earliest known set is from the 1880s. They featured a wide range of subjects, including sports figures, actresses, military leaders,&landscapes. They were so popular that they became a hobby for many people, who collected them & traded them with others. In the 1930's albums were prooduced for >
ctotheg2
collectors to store and display their sets. The production of cigarette cards was eventually discontinued in the 1940s as the popularity of cigarettes began to decline. In the 1910s, Gallaher Ltd of Belfast & London and Ogden's Branch of the Imperial Tobacco Co printed "How-To" series, with clever hints for both everyday and emergency situations. From steaming out a splinter to stopping a mad dog, these cigarette cards told you the smart way to handle many of life's problems.
sharikov
What if the horse can only be diverted from a road with 6 helpless infants to a road with only one infant?
oldguyexlurker
Now you're just "troll"ing...
OliverOtter
Take out the six first, so you will get all the stacking bonus points for the full cluster in case you need the extra life. Then at the next intersection, pull the rein hard towards you to execute a U-turn, and get the single from the other side. You may need to practice a few times to get the maneuver down right, so make sure you line a few quarters up on the console to claim your turns before you start.
Ghlargh
You see which way the horse goes, if the horse is injured while trampling any of the babies you sue the parents for the cost of a new horse.
TheDreadPirateMontoya
Grip the shaft. Didn't you read that part?
We11thatwasC00L
In this case we observe that the horse is sentient and therefore responsible for any deaths it may cause. Moral dilemma solved!
CatEyebrows
And then we will sue the crap out of the horse and bankrupt him
Crawmak
So, uh... Why shouldn't you sleep in a damp bed, save for comfort?
Zuegma197777
To discover previous thots ass sweat.
pleaseconsiderthatImightbejoking
Because a warm moist environment is a haven for mold and bacteria which can make you sick.
BaddyOneShoe
The dampness indicates a shark may have been there. Nothing worse than getting into bed only to have half your torso consumed by a surprise bed shark.
TheMayorOfTittyCity
Good heavens! You may come down with hysteria or melancholia!
AdrianDunne
Probably other reasons, but mould and bugs spring to mind.
umbrellamaker
Pneumonia
nattydred
This needs more upvotes… sleeping on/ in a damp surface/ bed runs the risk of lung issues that increase the mucus/ fluid production leading to complications such as bronchitis and pneumonia
umbrellamaker
And pneumonia was an even bigger deal back then
gakio12
Changing for dampness is life 101. I check for dampness before doing anything. Going to the movies? Check the seat for dampness. Fixing an engine? Make sure it isn’t damp first. Talking a shower? Better not be damp. Checking for dampness? Better not be damp.
asm80dfa8sdfj
Your thoroughness is making me damp...
ClosetGuitarPlayerYesItsThatBad
Damp good comment
Crawmak
What should I do if my engine is damp?
AkuTheShapeShiftingMasterOfDarkness
Light it on fire.
BaddyOneShoe
Put a mirror in it.
johneventually1
Dry the wets
gakio12
I didn’t check my comment for dampness before commenting, I apologize.
rezorrand
Oh no, damped again!
johneventually1
Damp it not again
nomorehate
#27 I learned while catering that bread or rolls work wonders for picking up tiny slivers of glass. Just firmy press the bread onto the glass and throw it away.
nomorehate
Firmly*
LieutenantGordon
FIRMLY GRASP IT
munchman495
We just used a damp paper towel... and still had the rolls to eat...
rezorrand
Just don't feed it to no one afterwards.
IceWeaselX
So you're telling me I have to feed it to someone? That's cruel. To whom do you suggest?
rezorrand
Well, if you HAD to feed it to someone then I can think of a one or two people who'd deserve such a mouth blo...watering experience.